The_AT Secrets_NN2 of_IO Happily_RR Married_JJ Women_NN2 :_: How_RRQ to_TO Get_VV0 More_RRR Out_II21 of_II22 Your_APPGE Relationship_NN1 by_II Doing_VDG Less_RRR When_CS Rosa_NP1 and_CC Lucas_NP1 stepped_VVD into_II my_APPGE office_NN1 for_IF our_APPGE last_MD session_NNT1 ,_, it_PPH1 was_VBDZ obvious_JJ that_CST this_DD1 was_VBDZ one_MC1 happy_JJ couple_NN1 ._. 
There_EX 's_VBZ something_PN1 in_II the_AT way_NN1 that_CST happily_RR married_JJ people_NN look_VV0 at_II each_PPX221 other_PPX222 and_CC treat_VV0 each_PPX221 other_PPX222 ._. 
They_PPHS2 do_VD0 n't_XX wear_VVI signs_NN2 announcing_VVG their_APPGE state_NN1 of_IO bliss_NN1 ,_, but_CCB still_RR ,_, everyone_PN1 knows_VVZ ._. 
But_CCB it_PPH1 had_VHD n't_XX started_VVN out_RP that_DD1 way_NN1 for_IF Rosa_NP1 and_CC Lucas_NP1 ._. 
At_II our_APPGE first_MD meeting_NN1 ,_, after_CS routine_JJ hellos_NN2 ,_, Rosa_NP1 began_VVD to_TO explain_VVI why_RRQ they_PPHS2 had_VHD come_VVN ._. 
She_PPHS1 told_VVD me_PPIO1 that_CST she_PPHS1 had_VHD met_VVN Lucas_NP1 during_II a_AT1 code_NN1 blue_NN1 at_II a_AT1 New_NP1 York_NP1 City_NN1 hospital_NN1 ._. 
At_II the_AT time_NNT1 ,_, she_PPHS1 had_VHD been_VBN a_AT1 nurse_NN1 there_RL for_IF three_MC years_NNT2 ,_, and_CC he_PPHS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 new_JJ surgical_JJ intern_NN1 ._. 
She_PPHS1 had_VHD recently_RR ended_VVN a_AT1 previous_JJ marriage_NN1 ,_, so_RR was_VBDZ wary_JJ when_CS this_DD1 mild-mannered_JJ doctor_NN1 struck_VVD up_RP a_AT1 conversation_NN1 with_IW her_PPHO1 and_CC eventually_RR asked_VVD her_PPHO1 out_RP ._. 
In_II the_AT early_JJ days_NNT2 of_IO their_APPGE romantic_JJ relationship_NN1 ,_, Lucas_NP1 was_VBDZ sensitive_JJ ,_, warm_JJ ,_, and_CC very_RG attentive_JJ and_CC loving_JJ ._. 
This_DD1 was_VBDZ the_AT kind_NN1 of_IO man_NN1 Rosa_NN had_VHD been_VBN looking_VVG for_IF ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 wanted_VVD to_TO know_VVI everything_PN1 about_II him_PPHO1 ,_, "_" she_PPHS1 said_VVD ,_, "_" what_DDQ made_VVD him_PPHO1 tick_VVI ,_, what_DDQ made_VVD him_PPHO1 afraid_JJ ,_, what_DDQ made_VVD him_PPHO1 happy_JJ ._. "_" 
Rosa_NP1 thought_VVD she_PPHS1 had_VHD all_DB the_AT answers_NN2 by_II the_AT time_NNT1 they_PPHS2 celebrated_VVD their_APPGE wedding_NN1 day_NNT1 ._. 
But_CCB ,_, a_AT1 few_DA2 months_NNT2 later_RRR ,_, she_PPHS1 began_VVD to_TO get_VVI frustrated_JJ that_CST Lucas_NP1 seemed_VVD to_TO be_VBI more_RGR devoted_JJ to_II the_AT hospital_NN1 than_CSN to_II her_PPHO1 ._. 
Finally_RR ,_, they_PPHS2 ended_VVD up_RP having_VHG a_AT1 heated_JJ argument_NN1 over_II what_DDQ Rosa_NN called_VVN his_APPGE obsessive_JJ dedication_NN1 to_II his_APPGE work_NN1 ,_, his_APPGE self-absorption_NN1 ,_, and_CC his_APPGE cruel_JJ negligence_NN1 of_IO his_APPGE wife_NN1 ._. 
When_CS she_PPHS1 finished_VVD berating_VVG him_PPHO1 ,_, she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ shocked_JJ at_II the_AT words_NN2 he_PPHS1 threw_VVD back_RP at_II her_PPHO1 :_: "_" You_PPY knew_VVD who_PNQS I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ when_CS you_PPY married_JJ me_PPIO1 ._. 
Now_RT you_PPY want_VV0 me_PPIO1 to_TO change_VVI ._. 
This_DD1 is_VBZ who_PNQS I_PPIS1 am_VBM ._. 
Why_RRQ ca_VM n't_XX you_PPY accept_VVI that_DD1 ?_? "_" 
How_RRQ could_VM he_PPHS1 make_VVI such_DA a_AT1 hurtful_JJ comment_NN1 and_CC still_RR claim_VV0 to_TO love_VVI her_PPHO1 ?_? 
"_" If_CS he_PPHS1 really_RR loves_VVZ me_PPIO1 ,_, "_" she_PPHS1 said_VVD looking_VVG at_II him_PPHO1 rather_II21 than_II22 me_PPIO1 ,_, "_" he_PPHS1 'd_VM stop_VVI working_VVG so_RG much_DA1 and_CC spend_VVI more_DAR time_NNT1 with_IW me_PPIO1 ._. 
Right_RR ?_? "_" 
From_II Rosa_NP1 's_GE point_NN1 of_IO view_NN1 ,_, the_AT answer_NN1 was_VBDZ an_AT1 obvious_JJ yes_UH ._. 
Either_RR Lucas_NP1 signs_VVZ on_RP to_TO work_VVI fewer_DAR hours_NNT2 or_CC the_AT marriage_NN1 is_VBZ over_RP ._. 
Rosa_NP1 was_VBDZ hanging_VVG on_RP to_II an_AT1 either-or_CC view_NN1 of_IO how_RRQ husbands_NN2 should_VM behave_VVI ;_; at_II that_DD1 point_NN1 ,_, she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ not_XX a_AT1 good_JJ example_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 happily_RR married_JJ woman_NN1 ._. 
So_RR when_CS she_PPHS1 came_VVD to_II my_APPGE office_NN1 hoping_VVG I_PPIS1 could_VM save_VVI her_APPGE marriage_NN1 by_II making_VVG Lucas_NP1 change_NN1 ,_, my_APPGE first_MD step_NN1 was_VBDZ to_TO introduce_VVI her_PPHO1 to_II Secret_NN1 1_MC1 :_: Know_VV0 Your_APPGE Husband_NN1 ._. 
Understand_VV0 his_APPGE true_JJ nature-and_CC then_RT use_VV0 that_DD1 information_NN1 to_II your_APPGE advantage_NN1 ._. 
THE_AT CORE_NN1 NATURE_NN1 OF_IO MEN_NN2 By_II getting_VVG to_TO know_VVI a_AT1 man_NN1 's_GE inborn_JJ traits_NN2 ,_, a_AT1 woman_NN1 can_VM enjoy_VVI his_APPGE strengths_NN2 as_II31 well_II32 as_II33 better_RRR understand_VVI his_APPGE weaknesses_NN2 ._. 
At_II the_AT same_DA time_NNT1 ,_, this_DD1 knowledge_NN1 puts_VVZ her_PPHO1 in_II a_AT1 position_NN1 where_RRQ she_PPHS1 can_VM use_VVI her_APPGE mysterious_JJ yet_RR wonderful_JJ feminine_JJ nature_NN1 to_TO bring_VVI out_RP the_AT best_RRT in_II this_DD1 man_NN1 she_PPHS1 loves_VVZ ._. 
Of_RR21 course_RR22 ,_, in_II some_DD cases_NN2 there_EX are_VBR things_NN2 that_CST a_AT1 man_NN1 has_VHZ to_TO agree_VVI to_TO change_VVI or_CC the_AT marriage_NN1 may_VM not_XX be_VBI able_JK to_TO be_VBI saved_VVN ._. 
If_CS he_PPHS1 's_VBZ shooting_VVG heroin_NN1 ,_, blowing_VVG money_NN1 on_II scratch_NN1 tickets_NN2 ,_, going_VVGK to_TO strip_VVI clubs_NN2 ,_, or_CC using_VVG violence_NN1 in_II the_AT household_NN1 ,_, then_RT the_AT Popeye_NN1 motto_NN1 ,_, "_" I_PPIS1 yam_VV0 who_PNQS I_PPIS1 yam_VV0 ,_, "_" just_RR does_VDZ n't_XX cut_VVI it_PPH1 ._. 
But_CCB in_II most_DAT other_JJ cases_NN2 ,_, any_DD marriage_NN1 will_VM be_VBI a_AT1 happier_JJR one_PN1 if_CS the_AT husband_NN1 and_CC wife_NN1 capitalize_VV0 on_II the_AT things_NN2 that_CST make_VV0 them_PPHO2 "_" who_PNQS I_PPIS1 am_VBM "_" and_CC make_VV0 them_PPHO2 both_DB2 feel_VV0 whole_JJ and_CC proud_JJ (_( and_CC focus_VV0 less_RRR on_II the_AT things_NN2 that_CST do_VD0 not_XX !_! )_) ._. 
In_II this_DD1 chapter_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 'll_VM take_VVI a_AT1 close_JJ look_NN1 at_II the_AT nature_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 typical_JJ male_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 nature_NN1 honed_VVN through_II millennia_NNT2 of_IO biological_JJ and_CC societal_JJ conditioning_NN1 ,_, and_CC explore_VV0 ways_NN2 that_CST you_PPY can_VM both_RR enjoy_VVI who_PNQS he_PPHS1 is_VBZ and_CC gently_RR persuade_VV0 him_PPHO1 to_TO be_VBI even_RR better_RRR ._. 
Talk_VV0 Less_DAR Men_NN2 tend_VV0 to_TO be_VBI very_RG objective_JJ in_II their_APPGE conversations_NN2 ._. 
They_PPHS2 talk_VV0 about_II factual_JJ stuff_NN1 like_II global_JJ politics_NN1 ,_, finances_NN2 ,_, poker_NN1 ,_, fishing_NN1 ,_, and_CC of_RR21 course_RR22 sports-all_DB for_IF the_AT purpose_NN1 of_IO making_VVG a_AT1 definable_JJ point_NN1 as_CSA they_PPHS2 analyze_VV0 opponents_NN2 ,_, strategies_NN2 ,_, goals_NN2 ,_, and_CC results_NN2 ._. 
If_CS they_PPHS2 have_VH0 a_AT1 point_NN1 to_TO make_VVI ,_, they_PPHS2 talk_VV0 only_RR until_CS they_PPHS2 've_VH0 made_VVN the_AT point_NN1 ._. 
Good_JJ ._. 
Done_VDN ._. 
They_PPHS2 've_VH0 said_VVN what_DDQ they_PPHS2 had_VHD to_TO say_VVI ._. 
If_CS they_PPHS2 do_VD0 n't_XX have_VHI a_AT1 point_NN1 to_TO make_VVI ,_, they_PPHS2 do_VD0 n't_XX talk_VVI ._. 
Women_NN2 ,_, in_II contrast_NN1 ,_, tend_VV0 to_TO be_VBI subjective_JJ talkers_NN2 ._. 
Their_APPGE conversations_NN2 are_VBR very_RG often_RR about_II feelings_NN2 and_CC about_II the_AT whole_JJ picture_NN1 of_IO daily_JJ events_NN2 ,_, including_II descriptions_NN2 of_IO surrounding_JJ details_NN2 that_CST wander_VV0 far_RR from_II the_AT main_JJ point_NN1 ,_, but_CCB add_VV0 rich_JJ texture_NN1 to_II the_AT story_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT they_PPHS2 talk_VV0 about_II what_DDQ men_NN2 call_VV0 "_" nothing_PN1 ._. "_" 
But_CCB this_DD1 kind_NN1 of_IO talk_NN1 has_VHZ a_AT1 real_JJ purpose_NN1 to_II women_NN2 ._. 
They_PPHS2 talk_VV0 to_TO build_VVI relationships_NN2 ,_, bond_VV0 ,_, get_VV0 to_TO know_VVI another_DD1 person_NN1 ,_, seek_VV0 understanding_NN1 ,_, and_CC offer_VV0 empathy_NN1 ._. 
That_DD1 's_VBZ what_DDQ having_VHG a_AT1 directionless_JJ chat_NN1 is_VBZ really_RR all_DB about_RP ._. 
Chatting_VVG soothes_NN2 women_NN2 's_GE souls_NN2 ,_, but_CCB it_PPH1 drives_VVZ men_NN2 crazy_JJ ._. 
Most_DAT women_NN2 find_VV0 a_AT1 man_NN1 's_GE inability_NN1 to_TO have_VHI a_AT1 nice_JJ conversation_NN1 without_IW getting_VVG fidgety_JJ ,_, interrupting_VVG ,_, or_CC zoning_VVG out_RP horribly_RR frustrating_JJ ._. 
So_RR what_DDQ 's_VBZ a_AT1 couple_NN1 to_TO do_VDI ?_? 
Happy_JJ couples_NN2 recognize_VV0 and_CC accept_VV0 the_AT differences_NN2 between_II male_NN1 and_CC female_JJ communication_NN1 styles_NN2 ._. 
The_AT wives_NN2 ,_, especially_RR ,_, let_VV0 go_NN1 of_IO the_AT idea_NN1 that_CST "_" he_PPHS1 could_VM be_VBI a_AT1 better_JJR communicator_NN1 if_CS he_PPHS1 wanted_VVD to_TO ._. "_" 
Certain_JJ biological_JJ differences_NN2 suggest_VV0 that_CST he_PPHS1 ca_VM n't_XX ._. 
In_II fact_NN1 ,_, one_MC1 body_NN1 of_IO research_NN1 points_VVZ to_II the_AT possibility_NN1 that_CST there_EX may_VM very_RG well_RR be_VBI a_AT1 connection_NN1 between_II the_AT way_NN1 some_DD men_NN2 struggle_VV0 with_IW interpersonal_JJ communication_NN1 and_CC the_AT fact_NN1 that_CST the_AT neurological_JJ disorder_NN1 of_IO autism_NN1 is_VBZ four_MC times_NNT2 more_RRR likely_JJ to_TO affect_VVI boys_NN2 than_CSN girls_NN2 ._. 
Let_VM21 's_VM22 take_VVI a_AT1 closer_JJR look_NN1 at_II the_AT common_JJ traits_NN2 of_IO autism_NN1 ,_, and_CC you_PPY 'll_VM see_VVI how_RGQ incredibly_RR male_JJ they_PPHS2 sound_VV0 ._. 
A_AT1 child_NN1 who_PNQS has_VHZ autism_NN1 will_VM often_RR stare_VVI into_II some_DD space_NN1 that_CST seems_VVZ all_DB his_APPGE own_DA ,_, and_CC it_PPH1 is_VBZ hard_JJ to_TO get_VVI his_APPGE attention_NN1 ._. 
Such_DA a_AT1 child_NN1 will_VM often_RR focus_VVI intently_RR on_II one_MC1 object_NN1 or_CC thought_VVD ,_, and_CC block_VV0 out_RP other_JJ distractions_NN2 ._. 
Usually_RR ,_, he_PPHS1 is_VBZ drawn_VVN toward_II inanimate_JJ objects_NN2 rather_II21 than_II22 conversations_NN2 between_II people_NN ._. 
The_AT autistic_JJ child_NN1 often_RR seems_VVZ to_TO be_VBI in_II his_APPGE own_DA little_JJ world_NN1 ;_; he_PPHS1 is_VBZ often_RR happiest_JJT when_CS left_JJ alone_JJ and_CC can_VM become_VVI irritable_JJ or_CC agitated_VVN if_CS you_PPY try_VV0 to_TO redirect_VVI him_PPHO1 ._. 
Understanding_VVG facial_JJ cues_NN2 or_CC tone_NN1 of_IO voice_NN1 is_VBZ hard_JJ for_IF the_AT autistic_JJ child_NN1 ,_, and_CC he_PPHS1 has_VHZ difficulties_NN2 tuning_VVG into_II the_AT feelings_NN2 of_IO others_NN2 ._. 
Does_VDZ any_DD of_IO this_DD1 sound_NN1 like_II your_APPGE husband_NN1 ?_? 
If_CS so_RR ,_, the_AT cause_NN1 of_IO his_APPGE communication_NN1 blocks_NN2 could_VM be_VBI biological_JJ ._. 
Although_CS no_PN121 one_PN122 genetic_JJ mechanism_NN1 has_VHZ been_VBN identified_VVN as_II the_AT root_NN1 of_IO autism_NN1 ,_, an_AT1 interesting_JJ theory_NN1 has_VHZ been_VBN proposed_VVN by_II Dr._NNB Simon_NP1 Baron-Cohen_NP1 of_IO Cambridge_NP1 University_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ gives_VVZ a_AT1 reasonable_JJ biological_JJ explanation_NN1 and_CC a_AT1 potential_JJ link_NN1 between_II the_AT disorder_NN1 and_CC the_AT male_JJ brain_NN1 ._. 
Baron-Cohen_NP1 believes_VVZ that_CST prenatal_JJ levels_NN2 of_IO the_AT male_JJ hormone_NN1 testosterone_NN1 may_VM determine_VVI whether_CSW an_AT1 individual_NN1 has_VHZ a_AT1 predominantly_RR "_" male_JJ brain_NN1 "_" or_CC "_" female_JJ brain_NN1 ._. "_" 
He_PPHS1 says_VVZ the_AT male_JJ brain_NN1 is_VBZ characterized_VVN by_II a_AT1 tendency_NN1 to_TO systematize_VVI (_( identify_VV0 how_RRQ things_NN2 work_VV0 )_) ,_, whereas_CS the_AT female_JJ brain_NN1 is_VBZ characterized_VVN by_II a_AT1 tendency_NN1 to_TO empathize_VVI (_( identify_VV0 and_CC relate_VVI to_II the_AT feelings_NN2 of_IO others_NN2 )_) ._. 
Baron-Cohen_NP1 believes_VVZ that_CST individuals_NN2 with_IW autism_NN1 have_VH0 an_AT1 "_" extreme_JJ male_JJ brain_NN1 ._. "_" 
So_RR if_CS you_PPY have_VH0 an_AT1 image_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 man_NN1 who_PNQS sits_VVZ staring_VVG at_II his_APPGE computer_NN1 screen_NN1 blocking_VVG you_PPY out_RP ,_, staring_VVG dumbly_RR into_II your_APPGE face_NN1 when_CS you_PPY talk_VV0 about_II your_APPGE feelings_NN2 ,_, and_CC giving_VVG the_AT distinct_JJ impression_NN1 that_CST his_APPGE own_DA desire_NN1 to_TO be_VBI left_VVN in_II peace_NN1 trumps_VVZ any_DD needs_NN2 you_PPY have_VH0 at_II the_AT moment_NN1 ,_, you_PPY have_VH0 a_AT1 good_JJ idea_NN1 of_IO why_RRQ I_PPIS1 draw_VV0 parallels_NN2 between_II autism_NN1 and_CC male_JJ behavior_NN1 ._. 
And_CC you_PPY 'll_VM also_RR appreciate_VVI why_RRQ encouragement_NN1 ,_, rather_II21 than_II22 badgering_VVG ,_, will_VM help_VVI move_VVI this_DD1 man_NN1 into_II a_AT1 more_RGR engaging_JJ style_NN1 of_IO human_JJ interaction_NN1 ._. 
THE_AT DIFFERENCE_NN1 BETWEEN_II TALK_NN1 AND_CC COMMUNICATION_NN1 When_CS I_PPIS1 read_VV0 articles_NN2 about_II improving_JJ relationships_NN2 ,_, the_AT words_NN2 "_" talk_VV0 "_" and_CC "_" communicate_VV0 "_" are_VBR frequently_RR used_VVN synonymously_RR ._. 
But_CCB they_PPHS2 are_VBR not_XX the_AT same_DA ._. 
Men_NN2 may_VM not_XX talk_VVI as_RG much_DA1 as_CSA women_NN2 do_VD0 ,_, but_CCB they_PPHS2 do_VD0 communicate_VVI very_JJ well-if_CS you_PPY 're_VBR alert_JJ to_II their_APPGE nonverbal_JJ messages_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ What_DDQ He_PPHS1 Does_VDZ ,_, Not_XX What_DDQ He_PPHS1 Says_VVZ Females_NN2 ,_, with_IW their_APPGE strong_JJ and_CC numerous_JJ connectors_NN2 between_II the_AT right_NN1 and_CC left_JJ brain_NN1 hemispheres_NN2 ,_, are_VBR easily_RR able_JK to_TO access_VVI their_APPGE emotions_NN2 from_II the_AT right_JJ brain_NN1 and_CC put_VV0 them_PPHO2 into_II words_NN2 with_IW the_AT left_JJ brain_NN1 ._. 
But_CCB without_IW as_RG many_DA2 connectors_NN2 between_II the_AT brain_NN1 hemispheres_NN2 ,_, males_NN2 can_VM find_VVI it_PPH1 tough_JJ to_TO be_VBI as_RG emotionally_RR expressive_JJ ._. 
Although_CS they_PPHS2 certainly_RR do_VD0 feel_VVI emotions_NN2 deeply_RR and_CC can_VM be_VBI verbally_RR expressive_JJ ,_, they_PPHS2 ca_VM n't_XX readily_RR do_VDI both_RR at_II the_AT same_DA time_NNT1 ._. 
But_CCB that_DD1 does_VDZ n't_XX mean_VVI they_PPHS2 do_VD0 n't_XX communicate_VVI their_APPGE feelings_NN2 ._. 
As_CSA Elizabeth_NP1 Barrett_NP1 Browning_NP1 so_RG eloquently_RR put_VV0 it_PPH1 :_: "_" How_RRQ do_VD0 I_PPIS1 love_VVI thee_PPY ?_? 
Let_VV0 me_PPIO1 count_VVI the_AT ways_NN2 ._. "_" 
Pay_VV0 attention_NN1 ,_, and_CC you_PPY may_VM be_VBI able_JK to_TO count_VVI the_AT many_DA2 ways_NN2 your_APPGE husband_NN1 is_VBZ reaching_VVG out_RP to_II you_PPY emotionally_RR ,_, without_IW saying_VVG a_AT1 word_NN1 ._. 
We_PPIS2 know_VV0 that_CST many_DA2 men_NN2 prefer_VV0 to_TO let_VVI their_APPGE actions_NN2 do_VD0 their_APPGE talking_NN1 ,_, especially_RR (_( as_CSA we_PPIS2 explored_VVD in_II Chapter_NN1 One_MC1 )_) when_CS it_PPH1 comes_VVZ to_II saying_VVG "_" I_PPIS1 love_VV0 you_PPY "_" or_CC "_" I_PPIS1 'm_VBM sorry_JJ ._. "_" 
In_II fact_NN1 ,_, often_RR a_AT1 guy_NN1 learns_VVZ from_II his_APPGE dad_NN1 that_CST love_NN1 is_VBZ expressed_VVN by_II doing_VDG things_NN2 together_RL (_( "_" Come_VV0 on_RP son_NN1 ,_, let_VM21 's_VM22 throw_VVI the_AT ball_NN1 around_RP "_" )_) rather_CS21 than_CS22 by_II proclaiming_VVG affection_NN1 with_IW words_NN2 ._. 
If_CS your_APPGE man_NN1 is_VBZ n't_XX free_JJ with_IW declarations_NN2 of_IO love_NN1 ,_, you_PPY might_VM recognize_VVI the_AT sentiment_NN1 when_CS he_PPHS1 says_VVZ ,_, "_" Let_VM21 's_VM22 go_VVI play_NN1 tennis_NN1 ._. "_" 
Or_CC you_PPY might_VM see_VVI it_PPH1 when_CS he_PPHS1 demonstrates_VVZ his_APPGE commitment_NN1 to_II you_PPY with_IW action_NN1 by_II protecting_VVG you_PPY when_CS he_PPHS1 drops_VVZ you_PPY off_RP at_II a_AT1 store_NN1 entrance_NN1 while_CS he_PPHS1 then_RT parks_VVZ the_AT car_NN1 in_II the_AT rain_NN1 ,_, by_II taking_VVG responsibility_NN1 for_IF getting_VVG the_AT bills_NN2 paid_VVN on_II time_NNT1 ,_, by_II toiling_JJ to_TO get_VVI a_AT1 promotion_NN1 at_II work_NN1 ,_, by_II doing_VDG over_II and_CC over_RP again_RT ._. 
Count_VV0 the_AT ways_NN2 ._. 
Being_VBG Surrounded_VVN by_II Friends_NN2 When_CS you_PPY go_VV0 off_RP on_II your_APPGE honeymoon_NN1 ,_, you_PPY adopt_VV0 the_AT salutation_NN1 "_" Mrs._NNB ,_, "_" taking_VVG on_RP a_AT1 new_JJ identity_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 new_JJ family_NN1 ,_, and_CC often_RR a_AT1 new_JJ home_NN1 ._. 
At_II that_DD1 point_NN1 ,_, many_DA2 couples_NN2 say_VV0 that_CST their_APPGE marriage_NN1 partner_NN1 is_VBZ their_APPGE best_JJT friend_NN1 ._. 
That_DD1 's_VBZ a_AT1 wonderful_JJ sentiment_NN1 ,_, but_CCB it_PPH1 does_VDZ n't_XX diminish_VVI the_AT need_NN1 for_IF other_JJ friends_NN2 outside_II the_AT marriage_NN1 ._. 
Socializing_VVG offers_NN2 opportunities_NN2 for_IF laughing_VVG ,_, relaxing_VVG ,_, and_CC sharing_VVG good_JJ feelings_NN2 that_CST are_VBR not_XX readily_RR available_JJ every_AT1 day_NNT1 from_II within_II the_AT marriage_NN1 ._. 
That_DD1 says_VVZ nothing_PN1 negative_JJ about_II the_AT quality_NN1 of_IO the_AT marriage_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ just_RR a_AT1 fact_NN1 :_: Most_DAT of_IO us_PPIO2 need_VV0 other_JJ human_JJ beings_NN2 to_TO fill_VVI out_RP and_CC balance_VVI our_APPGE lives_NN2 ._. 
This_DD1 is_VBZ especially_RR true_JJ for_IF women_NN2 ._. 
Even_RR the_AT best_JJT husband_NN1 ca_VM n't_XX fill_VVI the_AT role_NN1 of_IO confidant_NN1 and_CC friend_NN1 as_II31 well_II32 as_II33 another_DD1 woman_NN1 can_VM ._. 
A_AT1 female_JJ friend_NN1 will_VM share_VVI your_APPGE desire_NN1 to_TO chat_VVI about_II "_" nothing_PN1 ._. "_" 
Men_NN2 tend_VV0 to_TO find_VVI this_DD1 confusing_JJ ._. 
A_AT1 female_JJ friend_NN1 will_VM listen_VVI and_CC empathize_VVI when_RRQ you_PPY 're_VBR down_RP ._. 
Men_NN2 tend_VV0 to_TO look_VVI for_IF quick_JJ solutions_NN2 and_CC have_VH0 trouble_NN1 being_VBG emotionally_RR empathic_JJ ._. 
In_II fact_NN1 ,_, spending_VVG time_NNT1 with_IW a_AT1 good_JJ friend_NN1 is_VBZ good_JJ for_IF your_APPGE marriage_NN1 because_CS it_PPH1 is_VBZ apt_JJ to_TO offer_VVI certain_JJ types_NN2 of_IO emotional_JJ help_NN1 and_CC support_VV0 that_CST your_APPGE husband_NN1 may_VM not_XX be_VBI capable_JJ of_IO giving_VVG ._. 
So_RR as_CSA you_PPY seek_VV0 to_TO heal_VVI yourself_PPX1 when_CS you_PPY 're_VBR feeling_VVG overwhelmed_JJ ,_, neglected_VVD ,_, or_CC just_RR plain_JJ tired_JJ ,_, looking_VVG outside_II your_APPGE marriage_NN1 to_II your_APPGE family_NN1 and_CC friends_NN2 is_VBZ a_AT1 positive_JJ way_NN1 to_TO help_VVI yourself_PPX1 ._. 
Here_RL are_VBR a_AT1 few_DA2 tips_NN2 to_TO help_VVI you_PPY get_VVI the_AT most_RRT out_II21 of_II22 your_APPGE friendships_NN2 :_: 1_MC1 ._. 
Seek_VV0 friends_NN2 with_IW positive_JJ attitudes_NN2 toward_II marriage_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 recall_VV0 the_AT time_NNT1 that_CST my_APPGE wife_NN1 was_VBDZ talking_VVG to_II a_AT1 twice-divorced_JJ friend_NN1 about_II some_DD of_IO our_APPGE marital_JJ problems_NN2 (_( yes_UH ,_, even_RR I_PPIS1 have_VH0 marital_JJ problems_NN2 )_) ._. 
This_DD1 friend_NN1 gave_VVD the_AT advice_NN1 that_CST fit_VV0 her_APPGE own_DA experience_NN1 best_RRT ._. 
Can_VM you_PPY guess_VVI what_DDQ it_PPH1 was_VBDZ ?_? 
Yup_UH ,_, she_PPHS1 told_VVD Susan_NP1 that_CST she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 fool_NN1 to_TO put_VVI up_RP with_IW me_PPIO1 and_CC should_VM get_VVI a_AT1 divorce_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX blame_VVI the_AT friend_NN1 ;_; it_PPH1 's_VBZ what_DDQ she_PPHS1 knows_VVZ ._. 
But_CCB you_PPY can_VM rest_VVI assured_JJ that_CST if_CS you_PPY spend_VV0 a_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO time_NNT1 with_IW friends_NN2 who_PNQS have_VH0 looked_VVN toward_II ending_VVG marriage_NN1 as_II a_AT1 way_NN1 of_IO solving_VVG problems_NN2 ,_, you_PPY 'll_VM be_VBI more_RGR inclined_JJ to_TO change_VVI your_APPGE locks_NN2 than_CSN change_VV0 your_APPGE approach._NNU 2_MC ._. 
Enjoy_VV0 the_AT freedom_NN1 of_IO sharing_VVG with_IW your_APPGE girlfriends_NN2 ,_, but_CCB ...._... 
Try_VV0 to_TO avoid_VVI sharing_VVG those_DD2 conversations_NN2 with_IW your_APPGE husband_NN1 ._. 
If_CS you_PPY start_VV0 a_AT1 sentence_NN1 by_II saying_VVG ,_, "_" Well_RR ,_, I_PPIS1 discussed_VVD our_APPGE kid_NN1 's_GE problem_NN1 with_IW Elizabeth_NP1 ,_, and_CC she_PPHS1 thinks_VVZ ..._... "_" your_APPGE husband_NN1 may_VM feel_VVI defensive_JJ and_CC ganged_VVD up_RP on_II (_( unless_CS Elizabeth_NP1 is_VBZ your_APPGE child_NN1 's_GE pediatrician_NN1 )_) ._. 
