Practical_JJ Strategies_NN2 Evaluations_NN2 of_IO child_NN1 sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 :_: Recognition_NN1 of_IO overt_JJ and_CC latent_JJ family_NN1 concerns_VVZ As_RG medical_JJ examiners_NN2 in_II a_AT1 busy_JJ child_NN1 sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 clinic_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 strive_VV0 to_TO provide_VVI a_AT1 high_JJ standard_NN1 of_IO care_NN1 to_II children_NN2 who_PNQS are_VBR suspected_VVN of_IO having_VHG been_VBN sexually_RR abused_VVN ._. 
To_II this_DD1 end_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 employ_VV0 evidence-based_JJ standards_NN2 and_CC rely_VV0 on_II peer_NN1 review_NN1 ._. 
In_RR21 addition_RR22 ,_, with_IW over_RG 50_MC years_NNT2 of_IO cumulative_JJ experience_NN1 in_II this_DD1 role_NN1 among_II us_PPIO2 ,_, we_PPIS2 recognize_VV0 that_CST we_PPIS2 have_VH0 developed_VVN an_AT1 approach_NN1 to_II our_APPGE usual_JJ medical_JJ tasks_NN2 of_IO taking_VVG histories_NN2 and_CC performing_VVG physical_JJ examinations_NN2 that_CST reflects_VVZ an_AT1 understanding_NN1 of_IO the_AT particular_JJ concerns_NN2 common_JJ to_II our_APPGE patient_JJ population_NN1 ._. 
As_II part_NN1 of_IO our_APPGE ongoing_JJ peer_NN1 review_NN1 process_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 endeavor_VV0 to_TO identify_VVI what_DDQ each_DD1 of_IO us_PPIO2 has_VHZ come_VVN to_TO understand_VVI about_II our_APPGE patients_NN2 and_CC their_APPGE families_NN2 and_CC to_TO share_VVI what_DDQ we_PPIS2 have_VH0 learned_VVN with_IW one_PPX121 another_PPX122 ._. 
We_PPIS2 believe_VV0 that_CST this_DD1 process_NN1 has_VHZ improved_VVN and_CC continues_VVZ to_TO improve_VVI our_APPGE collective_NN1 and_CC individual_JJ practice_NN1 ._. 
For_IF this_DD1 reason_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 offer_VV0 the_AT following_JJ article_NN1 as_II part_NN1 of_IO the_AT Practical_JJ Strategies_NN2 section_NN1 ._. 
Our_APPGE goal_NN1 in_II doing_VDG so_RR is_VBZ to_TO complement_VVI what_DDQ we_PPIS2 know_VV0 about_II examining_VVG children_NN2 with_IW the_AT wisdom_NN1 ,_, derived_VVN from_II clinical_JJ experience_NN1 ,_, about_II what_DDQ we_PPIS2 feel_VV0 most_RRT concerns_VVZ the_AT children_NN2 and_CC families_NN2 we_PPIS2 see_VV0 and_CC how_RRQ best_RRT to_TO address_VVI these_DD2 concerns_NN2 ._. 
In_II this_DD1 article_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 focus_VV0 on_II the_AT overt_JJ and_CC latent_JJ clinical_JJ issues_NN2 that_CST frequently_RR arise_VV0 during_II such_DA an_AT1 evaluation_NN1 ,_, but_CCB often_RR are_VBR not_XX addressed_VVN because_CS the_AT major_JJ focus_NN1 of_IO the_AT evaluation_NN1 is_VBZ on_II the_AT forensic_JJ issues_NN2 :_: what_DDQ the_AT child_NN1 is_VBZ able_JK to_TO report_VVI in_II the_AT forensic_JJ interview_NN1 about_II the_AT sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 and_CC what_DDQ the_AT physical_JJ examination_NN1 shows_VVZ about_II possible_JJ forensic_JJ medical_JJ evidence_NN1 ._. 
While_CS the_AT interview_NN1 and_CC exam_NN1 provide_VV0 essential_JJ information_NN1 to_II the_AT investigation_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 case_NN1 of_IO suspected_JJ sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ,_, both_DB2 the_AT allegations_NN2 of_IO sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 and_CC the_AT evaluation_NN1 raise_VV0 important_JJ issues_NN2 for_IF the_AT nonoffending_JJ parent(s)_NN2 and_CC child_NN1 ,_, and_CC these_DD2 need_VV0 to_TO be_VBI addressed_VVN ._. 
In_II this_DD1 article_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 describe_VV0 10_MC major_JJ concerns_NN2 that_CST are_VBR listed_VVN inTable_JJ 1_MC1 (_( 6_NN1 of_IO parents_NN2 and_CC 4_MC of_IO children_NN2 )_) ._. 
In_RR21 addition_RR22 ,_, we_PPIS2 offer_VV0 suggestions_NN2 regarding_II a_AT1 clinical_JJ approach_NN1 to_II helping_VVG parents_NN2 and_CC children_NN2 in_II the_AT context_NN1 of_IO five_MC critical_JJ variables_NN2 that_CST can_VM affect_VVI how_RRQ families_NN2 respond_VV0 :_: (_( 1_MC1 )_) the_AT age_NN1 of_IO the_AT child_NN1 ,_, (_( 2_MC )_) intra-_NN1 vs._II extra-familial_JJ sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ,_, (_( 3_MC )_) a_AT1 parent_NN1 's_GE own_DA experience_NN1 of_IO sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ,_, (_( 4_MC )_) how_RRQ supportive_JJ the_AT nonoffending_JJ parents_NN2 are_VBR to_II the_AT child_NN1 ,_, and_CC (_( 5_MC )_) the_AT family_NN1 's_GE strengths_NN2 and_CC weaknesses_NN2 and_CC previous_JJ involvement_NN1 with_IW Child_NN1 Protective_JJ Services_NN2 ._. 
Concerns_NN2 of_IO the_AT parents_NN2 In_II the_AT US_NP1 ,_, because_II21 of_II22 the_AT rapid_JJ response_NN1 to_II allegations_NN2 of_IO child_NN1 sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ,_, once_RR a_AT1 case_NN1 is_VBZ reported_VVN to_II Child_NN1 Protective_JJ Services_NN2 (_( CPS_NP1 )_) ,_, a_AT1 CPS_NP1 social_JJ worker_NN1 and_CC police_NN2 usually_RR begin_VV0 the_AT investigation_NN1 within_II 24_MC hours_NNT2 of_IO the_AT report_NN1 ,_, and_CC the_AT forensic_JJ interview_NN1 and_CC exam_NN1 may_VM occur_VVI within_II days_NNT2 of_IO the_AT report_NN1 ._. 
Thus_RR ,_, parents_NN2 are_VBR quickly_RR faced_VVN with_IW two_MC obvious_JJ and_CC immediate_JJ concerns_NN2 :_: (_( 1_MC1 )_) should_VM we_PPIS2 believe_VVI our_APPGE child_NN1 and_CC (_( 2_MC )_) has_VHZ our_APPGE child_NN1 been_VBN hurt_VVN or_CC damaged_VVN physically_RR ?_? 
Believing_VVG the_AT child_NN1 's_GE statements_NN2 can_VM seem_VVI straightforward_JJ to_II clinicians_NN2 ;_; clinicians_NN2 understand_VV0 that_CST children_NN2 who_PNQS disclose_VV0 their_APPGE experience_NN1 of_IO sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 often_RR do_VD0 so_RR because_II21 of_II22 their_APPGE upset_JJ at_II what_DDQ has_VHZ been_VBN happening_VVG to_II them_PPHO2 ,_, and_CC clinicians_NN2 recognize_VV0 that_CST children_NN2 may_VM not_XX tell_VVI their_APPGE family_NN1 all_DB the_AT details_NN2 ._. 
For_IF parents_NN2 ,_, of_RR21 course_RR22 ,_, deciding_VVG whether_CSW to_TO believe_VVI their_APPGE child_NN1 can_VM be_VBI more_RGR complicated_JJ ._. 
Parents_NN2 '_GE beliefs_NN2 can_VM be_VBI on_II the_AT spectrum_NN1 from_II definitely_RR believing_VVG to_II definitely_RR not_XX believing_VVG ,_, and_CC their_APPGE location_NN1 on_II the_AT spectrum_NN1 can_VM depend_VVI on_II a_AT1 variety_NN1 of_IO factors_NN2 ,_, such_II21 as_II22 what_DDQ the_AT child_NN1 said_VVD in_II the_AT initial_JJ disclosure_NN1 and_CC to_II whom_PNQO the_AT child_NN1 told_VVD first_MD ,_, whether_CSW the_AT accusation_NN1 is_VBZ about_II someone_PN1 inside_II the_AT immediate_JJ or_CC extended_JJ family_NN1 or_CC outside_RL ,_, whether_CSW the_AT child_NN1 has_VHZ delayed_VVN in_II telling_VVG someone_PN1 about_II the_AT abuse_NN1 ,_, whether_CSW the_AT child_NN1 is_VBZ perceived_VVN as_II a_AT1 "_" child_NN1 who_PNQS tells_VVZ stories_NN2 ,_, "_" what_DDQ the_AT parents_NN2 '_GE relationships_NN2 are_VBR with_IW the_AT child_NN1 ,_, and_CC whether_CSW the_AT parents_NN2 '_GE have_VH0 their_APPGE own_DA histories_NN2 concerning_II sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ._. 
Each_DD1 parent_NN1 may_VM also_RR differ_VVI in_II the_AT extent_NN1 to_II which_DDQ they_PPHS2 believe_VV0 the_AT child_NN1 ._. 
We_PPIS2 have_VH0 found_VVN that_CST many_DA2 parents_NN2 are_VBR facing_VVG conflicting_JJ loyalties_NN2 to_II a_AT1 child_NN1 and_CC to_II another_DD1 family_NN1 or_CC household_NN1 member_NN1 who_PNQS has_VHZ been_VBN accused_VVN of_IO abusing_VVG the_AT child_NN1 ._. 
When_RRQ parents_NN2 express_VV0 feeling_NN1 conflicted_VVD ,_, or_CC express_VV0 concern_NN1 for_IF the_AT suspected_JJ perpetrator_NN1 ,_, the_AT degree_NN1 of_IO this_DD1 conflict_NN1 should_VM be_VBI explored_VVN and_CC addressed_VVN and_CC ,_, if_CS parents_NN2 are_VBR thought_VVN to_TO be_VBI unable_JK to_TO support_VVI and_CC believe_VVI a_AT1 child_NN1 ,_, this_DD1 information_NN1 should_VM be_VBI fed_VVN back_RP to_II CPS_NP1 ._. 
Parental_JJ beliefs_NN2 about_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE truthfulness_NN1 also_RR may_VM change_VVI over_II time_NNT1 ,_, as_CSA new_JJ information_NN1 is_VBZ provided_VVN ._. 
For_REX21 example_REX22 ,_, a_AT1 parent_NN1 might_VM directly_RR approach_VVI the_AT alleged_JJ perpetrator_NN1 who_PNQS might_VM be_VBI the_AT child_NN1 's_GE uncle_NN1 (_( and_CC mother_NN1 's_GE brother_NN1 )_) and_CC ask_VV0 that_DD1 person_NN1 if_CS anything_PN1 has_VHZ happened_VVN ._. 
If_CS the_AT brother_NN1 denies_VVZ that_CST anything_PN1 has_VHZ happened_VVN ,_, the_AT mother_NN1 is_VBZ then_RT faced_VVN with_IW the_AT dilemma_NN1 of_IO believing_VVG her_APPGE daughter_NN1 versus_II believing_VVG her_APPGE brother_NN1 ._. 
Since_CS both_DB2 persons_NN2 can_VM not_XX be_VBI telling_VVG the_AT truth_NN1 ,_, the_AT mother_NN1 faces_VVZ a_AT1 difficult_JJ decision_NN1 ._. 
When_CS there_EX is_VBZ a_AT1 delay_NN1 in_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE disclosure_NN1 and/or_CC the_AT child_NN1 's_GE first_MD disclosure_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX to_II a_AT1 parent_NN1 ,_, parents_NN2 may_VM have_VHI doubts_NN2 about_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE truthfulness_NN1 ._. 
"_" She_PPHS1 talks_VVZ to_II me_PPIO1 every_AT1 night_NNT1 before_CS she_PPHS1 goes_VVZ to_II bed_NN1 and_CC never_RR said_VVD a_AT1 word_NN1 about_II it_PPH1 ._. "_" 
Sometimes_RT ,_, we_PPIS2 remind_VV0 parents_NN2 that_CST a_AT1 delay_NN1 in_II disclosure_NN1 does_VDZ not_XX mean_VVI the_AT child_NN1 lied_VVD and_CC explain_VVI the_AT potential_JJ reasons_NN2 for_IF the_AT delay_NN1 ._. 
Another_DD1 particularly_RR challenging_JJ situation_NN1 for_IF parents_NN2 can_VM occur_VVI when_RRQ the_AT child_NN1 has_VHZ made_VVN a_AT1 clear_JJ statement_NN1 to_II a_AT1 parent_NN1 ,_, but_CCB provides_VVZ little_DA1 information_NN1 at_II the_AT forensic_JJ interview_NN1 such_CS21 that_CS22 the_AT police_NN2 and/or_CC CPS_NP1 indicate_VV0 that_CST they_PPHS2 can_VM not_XX do_VDI much_DA1 about_II the_AT situation_NN1 ._. 
Thus_RR ,_, parents_NN2 may_VM be_VBI left_VVN with_IW two_MC conflicting_JJ pieces_NN2 of_IO data_NN :_: information_NN1 from_II their_APPGE child_NN1 indicating_VVG that_CST something_PN1 has_VHZ occurred_VVN and_CC information_NN1 from_II investigators_NN2 indicating_VVG that_CST not_XX much_RR can_VM be_VBI done_VDN about_II the_AT situation_NN1 ._. 
The_AT absence_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 clear_JJ statement_NN1 by_II a_AT1 child_NN1 at_II a_AT1 forensic_JJ interview_NN1 may_VM not_XX be_VBI completely_RR surprising_JJ to_II clinicians_NN2 ,_, but_CCB it_PPH1 can_VM be_VBI problematic_JJ for_IF the_AT family_NN1 ._. 
Should_VM the_AT parents_NN2 still_RR believe_VVI the_AT child_NN1 and_CC not_XX let_VV0 the_AT grandfather_NN1 visit_VVI ?_? 
In_II this_DD1 situation_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 encourage_VV0 parents_NN2 to_TO focus_VVI on_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE initial_JJ statement_NN1 and_CC ensure_VV0 the_AT child_NN1 's_GE safety_NN1 ._. 
Some_DD parents_NN2 have_VH0 made_VVN a_AT1 decision_NN1 not_XX to_TO believe_VVI their_APPGE child_NN1 's_GE statement_NN1 ,_, and_CC these_DD2 parents_NN2 can_VM be_VBI particularly_RR challenging_VVG for_IF clinicians_NN2 ._. 
Sometimes_RT ,_, it_PPH1 can_VM be_VBI helpful_JJ to_TO ask_VVI these_DD2 parents_NN2 to_TO provide_VVI care_NN1 as_CS21 though_CS22 they_PPHS2 believe_VV0 the_AT child_NN1 ._. 
Such_DA care_NN1 would_VM involve_VVI keeping_VVG the_AT child_NN1 away_II21 from_II22 the_AT alleged_JJ perpetrator_NN1 and_CC bringing_VVG the_AT child_NN1 to_II mental_JJ health_NN1 counseling_NN1 ._. 
Some_DD parents_NN2 can_VM take_VVI on_RP these_DD2 tasks_NN2 and_CC yet_RR continue_VV0 to_TO have_VHI doubts_NN2 about_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE truthfulness_NN1 ;_; others_NN2 can_VM not_XX and_CC require_VV0 ongoing_JJ support_NN1 and_CC oversight_NN1 ,_, sometimes_RT from_II CPS_NP1 ,_, to_TO monitor_VVI the_AT child_NN1 's_GE safety_NN1 ._. 
Worries_NN2 about_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE body_NN1 The_AT physical_JJ exam_NN1 and_CC sometimes_RT the_AT collection_NN1 of_IO forensic_JJ evidence_NN1 ,_, such_II21 as_II22 swabs_NN2 for_IF semen_NN1 or_CC laboratory_NN1 data_NN for_IF sexually_RR transmitted_JJ infections_NN2 ,_, focus_VV0 the_AT parents_NN2 '_GE attention_NN1 on_II whether_CSW the_AT child_NN1 's_GE body_NN1 and_CC ,_, in_RR21 particular_RR22 ,_, the_AT child_NN1 's_GE genital_JJ and_CC anal_JJ areas_NN2 have_VH0 been_VBN damaged_VVN ._. 
Since_CS over_RG 90%_NNU of_IO children_NN2 evaluated_VVN at_II specialty_NN1 centers_NN2 around_II the_AT country_NN1 have_VH0 normal_JJ physical_JJ examinations_NN2 ,_, parents_NN2 are_VBR usually_RR greatly_RR relieved_VVN to_TO learn_VVI that_CST the_AT exam_NN1 and_CC laboratory_NN1 tests_NN2 are_VBR normal_JJ ._. 
Medical_JJ examiners_NN2 regularly_RR explain_VV0 to_II parents_NN2 (_( and_CC children_NN2 )_) that_CST a_AT1 "_" normal_JJ "_" medical_JJ exam_NN1 does_VDZ not_XX mean_VVI that_DD1 sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 has_VHZ not_XX occurred_VVN ._. 
In_II contrast_NN1 ,_, when_CS there_EX is_VBZ an_AT1 abnormal_JJ genital_JJ or_CC anal_JJ exam_NN1 ,_, parents_NN2 have_VH0 very_RG different_JJ concerns_NN2 ,_, including_II worries_NN2 about_II their_APPGE child_NN1 's_GE current_JJ and_CC future_JJ health_NN1 ._. 
Often_RR unstated_JJ worries_NN2 for_IF parents_NN2 of_IO girls_NN2 relate_VV0 to_II whether_CSW the_AT child_NN1 is_VBZ a_AT1 "_" virgin_NN1 ,_, "_" and_CC whether_CSW she_PPHS1 will_VM be_VBI able_JK to_TO have_VHI normal_JJ sexual_JJ relations_NN2 and_CC have_VH0 children_NN2 ._. 
Clinicians_NN2 often_RR respond_VV0 by_II reassuring_JJ parents_NN2 that_CST the_AT abnormalities_NN2 will_VM have_VHI little_DA1 or_CC no_AT effect_NN1 on_II the_AT child_NN1 's_GE future_JJ health_NN1 ;_; it_PPH1 sometimes_RT helps_VVZ to_TO explain_VVI that_CST the_AT "_" abnormal_JJ "_" findings_NN2 are_VBR small_JJ and_CC can_VM only_RR be_VBI seen_VVN by_II a_AT1 medical_JJ professional_JJ with_IW a_AT1 colposcope_NN1 ._. 
No_AT data_NN ,_, however_RR ,_, are_VBR available_JJ concerning_II whether_CSW parents_NN2 find_VV0 these_DD2 reassurances_NN2 helpful_JJ ._. 
An_AT1 alternative_JJ approach_NN1 in_II which_DDQ the_AT clinician_NN1 asks_VVZ parents_NN2 about_II their_APPGE worries_NN2 about_II the_AT meaning_NN1 of_IO the_AT exam_NN1 findings_NN2 can_VM sometimes_RT help_VVI to_TO address_VVI what_DDQ may_VM be_VBI most_RGT troublesome_JJ for_IF parents_NN2 ._. 
Also_RR ,_, discussing_VVG the_AT parents_NN2 '_GE ideas_NN2 concerning_II "_" virginity_NN1 "_" might_VM help_VVI to_TO address_VVI their_APPGE worries_NN2 ,_, although_CS the_AT topic_NN1 of_IO virginity_NN1 can_VM be_VBI a_AT1 complicated_JJ one_PN1 because_II21 of_II22 its_APPGE cultural_JJ and_CC religious_JJ implications_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 sometimes_RT can_VM be_VBI helpful_JJ to_TO say_VVI to_II parents_NN2 that_CST losing_VVG one_PN1 's_GE virginity_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX linked_VVN to_II sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ,_, but_CCB rather_RR to_II a_AT1 person_NN1 's_GE first_MD consensual_JJ sexual_JJ experience_NN1 and_CC that_CST an_AT1 abnormal_JJ medical_JJ finding_NN1 will_VM not_XX be_VBI apparent_JJ to_II a_AT1 future_JJ sexual_JJ partner_NN1 ._. 
Expressing_VVG emotions_NN2 Parents_NN2 can_VM be_VBI hurt_VVN ,_, saddened_VVN ,_, and_CC furious_JJ because_II21 of_II22 what_DDQ has_VHZ happened_VVN to_II their_APPGE child_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT these_DD2 emotions_NN2 are_VBR openly_RR expressed_VVN at_II the_AT evaluation_NN1 ._. 
Often_RR ,_, however_RR ,_, parents_NN2 try_VV0 desperately_RR not_XX to_TO show_VVI these_DD2 feelings_NN2 in_II an_AT1 effort_NN1 not_XX to_TO lose_VVI control_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT parents_NN2 have_VH0 not_XX even_RR talked_VVN to_II each_PPX221 other_PPX222 about_II their_APPGE feelings_NN2 ._. 
Asking_VVG about_II these_DD2 feelings_NN2 allows_VVZ parents_NN2 to_TO express_VVI them_PPHO2 :_: "_" Who_PNQS at_II home_NN1 has_VHZ been_VBN most_RGT upset_JJ about_II what_DDQ happened_VVD to_II your_APPGE daughter_NN1 ?_? "_" 
Asking_VVG direct_JJ questions_NN2 about_II sadness_NN1 and_CC anger_NN1 (_( or_CC upset_JJ )_) can_VM sometimes_RT be_VBI helpful_JJ ._. 
Information_NN1 about_II feelings_NN2 can_VM also_RR help_VVI when_CS considering_VVG treatment_NN1 for_IF parents_NN2 ._. 
Knowing_VVG about_II a_AT1 parent_NN1 's_GE (_( particularly_RR a_AT1 father_NN1 's_GE )_) anger_VV0 and_CC rage_NN1 can_VM help_VVI prevent_VVI a_AT1 parent_NN1 from_II taking_VVG action_NN1 against_II a_AT1 perpetrator_NN1 ._. 
Another_DD1 critical_JJ issue_NN1 for_IF parents_NN2 relates_VVZ to_II whether_CSW they_PPHS2 should_VM let_VVI their_APPGE child_NN1 see_VVI themselves_PPX2 be_VBI upset_VVN ._. 
Some_DD parents_NN2 report_VV0 being_VBG very_RG upset_JJ in_II their_APPGE child_NN1 's_GE presence_NN1 and_CC we_PPIS2 advise_VV0 moderation_NN1 ,_, if_CS possible_JJ ._. 
Other_JJ parents_NN2 report_VV0 that_CST they_PPHS2 have_VH0 tried_VVN not_XX to_TO be_VBI upset_VVN or_CC angry_JJ in_II the_AT presence_NN1 of_IO their_APPGE child_NN1 ._. 
When_CS they_PPHS2 do_VD0 show_VVI emotions_NN2 ,_, such_II21 as_II22 sadness_NN1 ,_, they_PPHS2 sometimes_RT will_VM lie_VVI to_II the_AT child_NN1 by_II saying_VVG that_CST the_AT tears_NN2 are_VBR "_" because_CS something_PN1 is_VBZ in_II my_APPGE eye_NN1 ._. "_" 
For_IF these_DD2 parents_NN2 ,_, we_PPIS2 discuss_VV0 what_DDQ they_PPHS2 might_VM say_VVI to_II the_AT child_NN1 so_CS21 that_CS22 the_AT child_NN1 can_VM learn_VVI about_II the_AT expression_NN1 of_IO emotions_NN2 ._. 
We_PPIS2 remind_VV0 parents_NN2 that_CST they_PPHS2 can_VM talk_VVI to_II their_APPGE child_NN1 about_II their_APPGE own_DA feelings_NN2 without_IW necessarily_RR going_VVG into_II exhaustive_JJ details_NN2 ,_, but_CCB rather_RR conveying_VVG in_II a_AT1 straightforward_JJ manner_NN1 that_CST the_AT parent_NN1 is_VBZ feeling_VVG sad_JJ or_CC even_RR angry_JJ about_II what_DDQ happened_VVD to_II the_AT child_NN1 ._. 
Parents_NN2 also_RR may_VM be_VBI guided_VVN to_TO remind_VVI their_APPGE child_NN1 that_DD1 being_VBG sad_JJ or_CC angry_JJ does_VDZ not_XX mean_VVI they_PPHS2 are_VBR "_" losing_VVG it_PPH1 "_" or_CC that_CST they_PPHS2 will_VM be_VBI unable_JK to_TO provide_VVI care_NN1 to_II their_APPGE child_NN1 ._. 
We_PPIS2 advise_VV0 parents_NN2 that_CST talking_VVG to_II children_NN2 about_II emotions_NN2 as_II31 opposed_II32 to_II33 "_" something_PN1 in_II one_PN1 's_GE eye_NN1 "_" conveys_VVZ at_RR21 least_RR22 three_MC important_JJ messages_NN2 :_: (_( 1_MC1 )_) it_PPH1 is_VBZ okay_JJ for_IF a_AT1 parent_NN1 to_TO express_VVI an_AT1 emotion_NN1 ,_, such_II21 as_II22 sadness_NN1 in_II31 front_II32 of_II33 a_AT1 child_NN1 ,_, (_( 2_MC )_) it_PPH1 is_VBZ okay_JJ to_TO have_VHI feelings_NN2 of_IO sadness_NN1 or_CC anger_NN1 and_CC having_VHG these_DD2 feelings_NN2 is_VBZ not_XX the_AT same_DA as_CSA losing_VVG control_NN1 ,_, and_CC (_( 3_MC )_) it_PPH1 is_VBZ okay_JJ to_TO discuss_VVI these_DD2 feelings_NN2 with_IW another_DD1 person_NN1 ._. 
Why_RRQ the_AT child_NN1 delayed_VVN in_II telling_VVG Parents_NN2 often_RR wonder_VV0 (_( as_CSA do_VD0 clinicians_NN2 )_) why_RRQ children_NN2 delay_VV0 in_II telling_VVG about_II the_AT sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 ,_, and_CC parents_NN2 can_VM be_VBI upset_VVN ,_, disappointed_JJ ,_, and_CC even_RR hurt_VVN if_CS the_AT child_NN1 told_VVD a_AT1 nonparental_JJ figure_NN1 first_MD about_II the_AT abuse_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT ,_, children_NN2 sense_NN1 or_CC even_RR know_VV0 that_CST it_PPH1 might_VM be_VBI better_JJR not_XX to_TO tell_VVI a_AT1 parent_NN1 first_MD ._. 
When_CS a_AT1 6-year-old_JJ girl_NN1 with_IW gonorrhea_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ she_PPHS1 acquired_VVD from_II being_VBG sexually_RR abused_VVN by_II her_APPGE 16-year-old_JJ foster_JJ brother_NN1 ,_, was_VBDZ asked_VVN why_RRQ she_PPHS1 had_VHD not_XX told_VVN her_APPGE mother_NN1 ,_, the_AT girl_NN1 explained_VVD that_CST her_APPGE mother_NN1 would_VM have_VHI been_VBN "_" too_RG upset_JJ ._. "_" 
When_CS the_AT clinicians_NN2 then_RT explained_VVN to_II the_AT mother_NN1 how_RRQ the_AT girl_NN1 had_VHD been_VBN infected_VVN ,_, the_AT mother_NN1 fainted_VVD in_II the_AT office_NN1 ;_; clearly_RR ,_, the_AT 6-year-old_NN1 knew_VVD about_II the_AT risks_NN2 of_IO telling_VVG ._. 
Clinicians_NN2 have_VH0 learned_VVN to_TO understand_VVI why_RRQ a_AT1 child_NN1 might_VM not_XX say_VVI anything_PN1 about_II the_AT sexual_JJ abuse_NN1 for_IF weeks_NNT2 or_CC months_NNT2 or_CC longer_RRR ,_, but_CCB parents_NN2 need_VV0 help_NN1 reconciling_VVG the_AT delay_NN1 with_IW the_AT view_NN1 that_CST "_" she_PPHS1 tells_VVZ her_APPGE mother_NN1 everything_PN1 "_" or_CC "_" I_PPIS1 've_VH0 taught_VVN her_PPHO1 about_II good_JJ and_CC bad_JJ touches_NN2 ._. "_" 
Sometimes_RT ,_, explaining_VVG to_II parents_NN2 about_II how_RRQ the_AT alleged_JJ perpetrator_NN1 prevented_VVD a_AT1 child_NN1 from_II telling_VVG can_VM help_VVI parents_NN2 understand_VVI about_II their_APPGE child_NN1 's_GE dilemma_NN1 and_CC why_RRQ the_AT delay_NN1 occurred_VVD ._. 
Sometimes_RT ,_, it_PPH1 helps_VVZ to_TO remind_VVI parents_NN2 that_CST at_RR21 least_RR22 now_RT (_( even_CS21 if_CS22 after_II a_AT1 delay_NN1 of_IO several_DA2 months_NNT2 )_) ,_, the_AT child_NN1 has_VHZ told_VVN so_RR the_AT abuse_NN1 has_VHZ stopped_VVN ._. 
