Last_MD week_NNT1 ,_, I_PPIS1 downloaded_VVD a_AT1 program_NN1 that_CST would_VM protect_VVI me_PPIO1 from_II myself_PPX1 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ called_VVN Freedom_NN1 ._. 
Yes_UH ,_, Freedom_NN1 ._. 
Like_II the_AT word_NN1 Mel_NP1 Gibson_NP1 's_GE William_NP1 Wallace_NP1 shouts_VVZ just_RR as_CSA he_PPHS1 's_VBZ being_VBG disemboweled_VVN by_II a_AT1 British_JJ executioner_NN1 in_II "_" Braveheart_NP1 ._. "_" 
Freedom_NN1 ,_, like_II the_AT thing_NN1 that_CST people_NN around_II the_AT world_NN1 yearn_VV0 for_IF ,_, fight_VV0 for_IF ,_, die_VV0 for_IF ._. 
Freedom_NN1 riders_NN2 ,_, freedom_NN1 of_IO assembly_NN1 ,_, freedom_NN1 of_IO the_AT press_NN1 ,_, freedom_NN1 of_IO speech_NN1 ,_, freedom_NN1 of_IO expression_NN1 ._. 
Freedom_NN1 like_II "_" chimes_NN2 of_IO ._. "_" 
That_DD1 's_VBZ just_RR like_II what_DDQ I_PPIS1 downloaded_VVD ,_, except_CS in_II my_APPGE case_NN1 ,_, the_AT Freedom_NN1 I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ seeking_VVG was_VBDZ meant_VVN not_XX to_TO liberate_VVI me_PPIO1 from_II the_AT oppressive_JJ bonds_NN2 of_IO an_AT1 unjust_JJ regime_NN1 ._. 
No_UH ,_, my_APPGE Freedom_NN1 was_VBDZ designed_VVN to_TO bind_VVI and_CC restrict_VVI me_PPIO1 ,_, to_TO prevent_VVI me_PPIO1 from_II e-mailing_NN1 ,_, surfing_VVG ,_, browsing_VVG and_CC playing_VVG online_JJ games_NN2 ._. 
Ah_UH ..._... sweet_JJ ,_, sweet_JJ Freedom_NN1 ._. 
Look_VV0 ,_, I_PPIS1 am_VBM not_XX proud_JJ ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 bet_VV0 I_PPIS1 am_VBM not_XX alone_JJ in_II my_APPGE near_JJ frantic_JJ desire_NN1 to_TO be_VBI released_VVN --_NN1 for_IF very_RG brief_JJ periods_NN2 ,_, always_RR with_IW an_AT1 escape_NN1 hatch_NN1 --_NN1 from_II the_AT tyranny_NN1 of_IO my_APPGE own_DA wandering_JJ attention_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 may_VM not_XX have_VHI known_VVN it_PPH1 ,_, but_II21 for_II22 some_DD time_NNT1 ,_, I_PPIS1 have_VH0 wanted_VVN something_PN1 forceful_JJ ,_, computerized_JJ and_CC beyond_II the_AT realms_NN2 of_IO my_APPGE own_DA self-determination_NN1 to_TO come_VVI and_CC muffle_VVI the_AT beeping_NN1 ,_, buzzing_VVG ,_, ringing_VVG ,_, flashing_VVG distractions_NN2 of_IO our_APPGE technological_JJ age_NN1 so_CS I_PPIS1 can_VM get_VVI some_DD goddamn_JJ work_NN1 done_VDN ._. 
Enter_VV0 Freedom_NN1 ,_, an_AT1 application_NN1 created_VVN by_II University_NN1 of_IO North_NP1 Carolina-Chapel_NP1 Hill_NP1 Ph.D_NNA ._. 
candidate_NN1 Fred_NP1 Stutzman_NP1 ,_, who_PNQS made_VVD it_PPH1 available_JJ to_II the_AT public_NN1 for_IF free_JJ --_NN1 though_CS he_PPHS1 asks_VVZ for_IF donations_NN2 --_NN1 a_RR21 little_RR22 over_II a_AT1 year_NNT1 ago_RA ._. 
In_II an_AT1 e-mail_NN1 ,_, Stutzman_NP1 writes_VVZ that_CST he_PPHS1 came_VVD up_RP with_IW the_AT idea_NN1 after_II talking_VVG with_IW lots_PN of_IO people_NN trying_VVG to_TO find_VVI places_NN2 to_TO work_VVI without_IW Wi-Fi_NP1 ;_; he_PPHS1 does_VDZ n't_XX know_VVI how_RGQ many_DA2 people_NN have_VH0 downloaded_VVN it_PPH1 ,_, but_CCB estimates_VVZ the_AT number_NN1 at_II about_RG 10,000_MC ._. 
He_PPHS1 has_VHZ received_VVN 50_MC donations_NN2 ,_, all_DB of_IO which_DDQ he_PPHS1 's_VBZ used_VVN to_TO pay_VVI for_IF software_NN1 ._. 
Freedom_NN1 will_VM disable_VVI the_AT networking_NN1 ,_, only_RR on_II a_AT1 Mac_NN1 computer_NN1 ,_, for_IF periods_NN2 of_IO anywhere_RL from_II one_MC1 minute_NNT1 to_II eight_MC hours_NNT2 ._. 
No_AT Web_NN1 sites_NN2 ,_, no_AT e-mail_NN1 ,_, no_AT instant_JJ messaging_NN1 ,_, no_AT online_JJ shopping_NN1 ,_, no_AT Facebook_NN1 ,_, no_AT Twitter_NN1 ,_, no_AT Jezebel_NP1 ,_, no_AT iTunes_NN2 store_VV0 ,_, no_AT streaming_JJ anything_PN1 ._. 
Once_CS it_PPH1 is_VBZ turned_VVN on_RP ,_, as_CSA it_PPH1 hilariously_RR claims_VVZ ,_, "_" Freedom_NN1 enforces_VVZ freedom_NN1 "_" ;_; you_PPY can_VM not_XX turn_VVI it_PPH1 off_RP without_IW rebooting_VVG your_APPGE computer_NN1 ._. 
In_II these_DD2 ever-connected_JJ times_NNT2 ,_, the_AT idea_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 little_JJ self-imposed_JJ Freedom_NN1 sounds_VVZ like_II bird-chirping_NN1 ,_, brook-babbling_JJ peace_NN1 ._. 
And_CC I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX even_RR have_VHI the_AT availability_NN1 -_- fever_NN1 as_RG bad_JJ as_CSA some_DD ._. 
I_PPIS1 do_VD0 not_XX use_VVI Twitter_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 have_VH0 only_RR recently_RR joined_VVN Facebook_NP1 ,_, to_II which_DDQ I_PPIS1 have_VH0 not_XX yet_RR formed_VVN the_AT addiction_NN1 promised_VVD me_PPIO1 by_II so_RG many_DA2 of_IO my_APPGE peers_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 do_VD0 not_XX own_VVI an_AT1 iPod_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 am_VBM not_XX one_MC1 of_IO those_DD2 people_NN who_PNQS thumbs_VVZ away_RL at_II a_AT1 BlackBerry_NN1 during_II meals_NN2 (_( those_DD2 people_NN should_VM not_XX be_VBI allowed_VVN to_TO dine_VVI in_RR21 public_RR22 )_) ._. 
I_PPIS1 do_VD0 not_XX even_RR own_VVI a_AT1 BlackBerry_NN1 ,_, or_CC an_AT1 iPhone_NN1 ;_; my_APPGE phone_NN1 is_VBZ so_RG old_JJ that_CST it_PPH1 does_VDZ not_XX take_VVI or_CC receive_VVI photographs_NN2 and_CC can_VM only_RR hold_VVI up_RG21 to_RG22 50_MC text_NN1 messages_NN2 at_II a_AT1 time_NNT1 --_NN1 and_CC also_RR ,_, the_AT "_" 7_MC "_" button_NN1 does_VDZ n't_XX work_VVI ._. 
And_CC yet_RR ..._... even_RR as_II a_AT1 comparative_JJ Luddite_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 find_VV0 myself_PPX1 bewitched_VVD ,_, bewildered_JJ and_CC deeply_RR bothered_VVN by_II the_AT number_NN1 of_IO minutes_NNT2 ,_, hours_NNT2 ,_, days_NNT2 I_PPIS1 spend_VV0 circling_VVG the_AT online_JJ drain_NN1 ._. 
As_CSA anyone_PN1 who_PNQS spends_VVZ most_DAT working_JJ days_NNT2 staring_VVG at_II a_AT1 computer_NN1 screen_NN1 knows_VVZ ,_, there_EX is_VBZ no_AT such_DA thing_NN1 as_CSA sitting_VVG idle_JJ anymore_RR ._. 
Those_DD2 little_JJ desk_NN1 toys_NN2 they_PPHS2 used_VMK to_TO sell_VVI --_NN1 the_AT plastic_NN1 bird_NN1 who_PNQS teeters_VVZ and_CC totters_VVZ until_CS its_APPGE beak_NN1 finally_RR dunks_VVZ into_II the_AT water_NN1 glass_NN1 --_NN1 are_VBR relics_NN2 at_II this_DD1 point_NN1 ._. 
Like_II the_AT notion_NN1 of_IO being_VBG unreachable_JJ at_II certain_JJ hours_NNT2 of_IO the_AT day_NNT1 or_CC night_NNT1 ,_, they_PPHS2 are_VBR laughable_JJ reminders_NN2 of_IO a_AT1 world_NN1 long_RR gone_VVN ._. 
Who_PNQS would_VM have_VHI the_AT patience_NN1 to_TO wait_VVI for_IF the_AT beak_NN1 to_TO hit_VVI water_NN1 ?_? 
We_PPIS2 'd_VM all_DB be_VBI hitting_VVG "_" reload_NN1 ._. "_" 
Instead_II21 of_II22 watching_VVG plastic_NN1 balances_NN2 ,_, we_PPIS2 stare_VV0 idly_RR into_II a_AT1 scrim_NN1 of_IO ever-updating_JJ images_NN2 ,_, words_NN2 ,_, videos_NN2 ,_, letter_NN1 threads_NN2 ,_, some_DD that_CST calm_VV0 us_PPIO2 ,_, some_DD that_CST raise_VV0 our_APPGE blood_NN1 pressure_NN1 ,_, until_CS finally_RR the_AT day_NNT1 is_VBZ over_RP ,_, and_CC we_PPIS2 go_VV0 home_RL ,_, log_VV0 on_RP ,_, and_CC do_VD0 it_PPH1 again_RT ._. 
Or_CC at_RR21 least_RR22 I_PPIS1 do_VD0 ._. 
For_IF me_PPIO1 ,_, it_PPH1 's_VBZ the_AT hundreds_NNO2 of_IO e-mails_NN2 a_AT1 day_NNT1 ._. 
And_CC my_APPGE professional_JJ listserv_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ I_PPIS1 try_VV0 to_TO compartmentalize_VVI ,_, but_CCB which_DDQ sometimes_RT lures_VVZ me_PPIO1 into_II heated_JJ arguments_NN2 ._. 
And_CC the_AT newspapers_NN2 ._. 
And_CC the_AT blogs_NN2 ,_, only_RR a_AT1 couple_NN1 of_IO them_PPHO2 ,_, really_RR --_JJ but_CCB they_PPHS2 update_VV0 so_RG often_RR !_! 
And_CC the_AT notices_NN2 about_II low_JJ ,_, low_JJ fares_NN2 that_CST lead_VV0 me_PPIO1 on_II brief_JJ fantasy_NN1 vacations_NN2 via_II Tripadvisor.com_NP1 and_CC a_AT1 host_NN1 of_IO hotel_NN1 sites_NN2 ._. 
And_CC the_AT word_NN1 games_NN2 ._. 
The_AT true_JJ evil_NN1 of_IO Facebook_NP1 ,_, for_IF me_PPIO1 ,_, comes_VVZ not_XX from_II the_AT friending_NN1 or_CC virtual_JJ gifts_NN2 or_CC status_NN1 updates_NN2 ,_, but_CCB from_II Word_NN1 Twist_NP1 ,_, and_CC Scramble_NN1 ,_, and_CC Pathwords_NP2 ._. 
What_DDQ better_JJR way_NN1 to_II while_NNT1 away_RL the_AT minutes_NNT2 (_( hours_NNT2 )_) while_CS working_VVG on_II a_AT1 story_NN1 than_CSN by_II rearranging_VVG letters_NN2 to_TO form_VVI words_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ practically_RR edifying_VVG !_! 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ surely_RR staving_VVG off_II dementia_NN1 !_! 
Firing_VVG up_RP my_APPGE neurons_NN2 in_II preparation_NN1 for_IF composition_NN1 !_! 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ weird_JJ that_CST even_RR as_CSA I_PPIS1 'm_VBM falling_VVG asleep_JJ ,_, the_AT letters_NN2 keep_VV0 falling_VVG ,_, forming_VVG and_CC reforming_VVG in_II31 front_II32 of_II33 my_APPGE eyes_NN2 like_II Tetris_NP1 in_II college_NN1 !_! 
"_" Jagged_JJ "_" !_! 
"_" Debauched_NP1 "_" !_! 
"_" Mandible_NN1 "_" !_! 
I_PPIS1 needed_VVD to_TO stop_VVI ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM like_VVI a_AT1 world_NN1 in_II which_DDQ I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX check_VVI my_APPGE e-mail_NN1 for_IF the_AT last_MD two_MC hours_NNT2 of_IO the_AT evening_NNT1 ,_, or_CC on_II the_AT weekends_NNT2 ._. 
On_II vacations_NN2 ,_, I_PPIS1 'm_VBM very_RG good_JJ at_II slapping_VVG up_RP a_AT1 "_" Nobody_PN1 's_VBZ Home_RL "_" automatic_JJ message_NN1 and_CC disconnecting_VVG ._. 
But_CCB in_II daily_JJ life_NN1 ,_, it_PPH1 's_VBZ not_XX so_RG easy_JJ ._. 
Professional_JJ communications_NN2 (_( and_CC expectations_NN2 )_) now_RT roll_VV0 in_RP on_II a_AT1 24-hour_JJ cycle_NN1 ,_, and_CC as_CS31 long_CS32 as_CS33 I_PPIS1 'm_VBM at_II my_APPGE computer_NN1 ,_, maybe_RR I_PPIS1 should_VM just_RR glance_VVI at_II Eater.com_NP1 and_CC see_VVI if_CSW there_EX 's_VBZ anything_PN1 interesting_JJ ..._... 
I_PPIS1 needed_VVD restriction_NN1 ,_, and_CC not_XX the_AT kind_NN1 my_APPGE boyfriend_NN1 offered_VVN when_CS he_PPHS1 suggested_VVD helpfully_RR that_CST he_PPHS1 take_VV0 the_AT modem_NN1 away_RL ._. 
I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX need_VVI a_AT1 minder_NN1 to_II ground_NN1 me_PPIO1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 needed_VVD to_II ground_NN1 myself_PPX1 ._. 
That_DD1 's_VBZ when_RRQ I_PPIS1 stumbled_VVD across_II Freedom_NN1 ,_, somewhere_RL I_PPIS1 ca_VM n't_XX quite_RR remember_VVI ,_, but_CCB quite_RG possibly_RR in_II the_AT bloggy_JJ public_JJ musings_NN2 of_IO other_JJ writers_NN2 ,_, like_II the_AT New_NP1 York_NP1 Observer_NN1 's_GE Doree_NP1 Shafrir_NP1 ,_, who_PNQS recently_RR Twittered_JJ to_II book_NN1 blogger_NN1 Maud_NP1 Newton_NP1 ,_, "_" 45_MC minutes_NNT2 of_IO Freedom=844_FO words_NN2 written_VVN ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ a_AT1 miracle_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 tell_VV0 you_PPY !_! "_" to_II which_DDQ Newton_NP1 responded_VVD ,_, "_" Mazeltov_NP1 !_! 
Earlier_RRR I_PPIS1 had_VHD 3_MC blissful_JJ Internet-free_JJ hours_NNT2 ._. "_" 
Or_CC perhaps_RR from_II the_AT Chronicle_NN1 of_IO Higher_JJR Education_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ began_VVD its_APPGE Feb._NPM1 2_MC piece_NN1 on_II Freedom_NN1 with_IW the_AT dry_JJ observation_NN1 that_CST ,_, "_" In_BCL21 order_BCL22 to_TO be_VBI free_JJ ,_, the_AT philosopher_NN1 Jean-Jacques_NP1 Rousseau_NP1 claimed_VVD ,_, humans_NN2 must_VM sometimes_RT surrender_VVI a_AT1 measure_NN1 of_IO freedom_NN1 ._. "_" 
Indeed_RR ._. 
And_CC perhaps_RR there_EX is_VBZ something_PN1 poetically_RR appealing_VVG about_II having_VHG the_AT thing_NN1 to_II which_DDQ we_PPIS2 surrender_VV0 spring_NN1 from_II the_AT same_DA structure_NN1 that_CST inhibits_VVZ the_AT freedom_NN1 to_TO begin_VVI with_IW :_: I_PPIS1 have_VH0 downloaded_VVN the_AT program_NN1 so_CS21 that_CS22 I_PPIS1 may_VM be_VBI liberated_VVN from_II all_DB the_AT other_JJ programs_NN2 I_PPIS1 have_VH0 downloaded_VVN ._. 
The_AT first_MD time_NNT1 I_PPIS1 turned_VVD on_II Freedom_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 'll_VM confess_VVI that_CST I_PPIS1 only_RR put_VVN in_RP for_IF five_MC minutes_NNT2 ._. 
Best_JJT to_TO start_VVI slow_JJ ,_, I_PPIS1 figured_VVD ,_, ease_VV0 into_II the_AT experience_NN1 ._. 
There_EX was_VBDZ something_PN1 about_II the_AT process_NN1 of_IO submission_NN1 that_CST was_VBDZ like_II going_VVG under_II anesthetic_JJ ._. 
My_APPGE five_MC minutes_NNT2 began_VVD just_RR as_CSA the_AT ding_FU of_IO a_AT1 new_JJ message_NN1 entering_VVG my_APPGE in_II box_NN1 sounded_VVD ._. 
I_PPIS1 could_VM read_VVI the_AT headline_NN1 of_IO the_AT message_NN1 but_CCB not_XX the_AT contents_NN2 ,_, and_CC it_PPH1 said_VVD ,_, "_" Your_APPGE IM_NN1 is_VBZ freaking_VVG out_RP on_II my_APPGE computer_NN1 ._. "_" 
"_" Huh_UH ,_, "_" I_PPIS1 thought_VVD dreamily_RR ,_, as_CSA the_AT connected_JJ world_NN1 dissolved_VVD ,_, "_" I_PPIS1 wonder_VV0 if_CSW it_PPH1 's_VBZ freaking_VVG out_RP because_II21 of_II22 the_AT Freedom_NN1 ._. "_" 
It_PPH1 did_VDD n't_XX matter_VVI ._. 
I_PPIS1 could_VM n't_XX investigate_VVI until_CS either_RR my_APPGE five_MC minutes_NNT2 were_VBDR up_RP or_CC I_PPIS1 turned_VVD off_RP my_APPGE computer_NN1 and_CC rebooted_VVD ,_, which_DDQ probably_RR would_VM have_VHI taken_VVN almost_RR as_RG much_DA1 time_NNT1 ._. 
Next_MD came_VVD a_AT1 little_JJ phantom_JJ limb_NN1 period_NN1 ,_, in_II which_DDQ I_PPIS1 indulged_VVD the_AT urge_NN1 to_TO click_VVI on_II everything_PN1 I_PPIS1 had_VHD open_RR ,_, just_RR to_TO make_VVI sure_JJ it_PPH1 really_RR was_VBDZ disabled_JJ ._. 
Then_RT ,_, of_RR21 course_RR22 ,_, in_II the_AT brief_JJ poke_NN1 around_II my_APPGE in_II box_NN1 and_CC browser_NN1 came_VVD the_AT curiosity_NN1 provoked_VVN by_II the_AT moment_NN1 of_IO stopped_JJ time_NNT1 ,_, in_II which_DDQ I_PPIS1 briefly_RR became_VVD an_AT1 anthropologist_NN1 of_IO myself_PPX1 :_: Who_PNQS was_VBDZ I_MC1 ,_, and_CC what_DDQ had_VHD I_PPIS1 been_VBN thinking_VVG of_IO ,_, just_RR 38_MC seconds_NNT2 earlier_RRR ?_? 
There_RL ,_, frozen_VVN in_II amber_NN1 on_II my_APPGE screen_NN1 ,_, was_VBDZ the_AT clip_NN1 of_IO Amanda_NP1 Terkel_NP1 being_VBG hounded_VVN by_II Bill_NP1 O'Reilly_NP1 ;_; Ben_NP1 Schott_NP1 's_GE new_JJ Sniglet-y_NN1 blog_NN1 on_II the_AT New_NP1 York_NP1 Times_NNT2 ;_; a_AT1 Web_NN1 site_NN1 about_II how_RRQ to_TO cure_VVI sinus_NN1 headaches_VVZ at_II home_NN1 ;_; the_AT Feministing_JJ item_NN1 about_II Gloria_NP1 Steinem_NP1 's_GE birthday_NN1 ;_; an_AT1 online_JJ shopping_NN1 cart_NN1 filled_VVN with_IW three_MC on-sale_JJ items_NN2 from_II Anthropologie_NP1 (_( $79.95_NNU )_) that_CST I_PPIS1 suspected_VVD I_PPIS1 would_VM never_RR buy_VVI ;_; the_AT real_JJ estate_NN1 listing_NN1 for_IF a_AT1 1,500-square-foot_FO house_NN1 in_II my_APPGE neighborhood_NN1 (_( $1.125_NNU million_NNO )_) that_CST I_PPIS1 knew_VVD I_PPIS1 would_VM never_RR buy_VVI ;_; there_EX was_VBDZ the_AT phone_NN1 number_NN1 I_PPIS1 needed_VVD to_TO call_VVI to_TO continue_VVI the_AT investigation_NN1 of_IO whoever_PNQV started_VVD using_VVG my_APPGE bank_NN1 card_NN1 to_TO buy_VVI gas_NN1 in_II western_JJ Massachusetts_NP1 last_MD week_NNT1 ;_; and_CC ,_, of_RR21 course_RR22 ,_, my_APPGE precious_JJ Pathwords_NP2 game_NN1 (_( current_JJ high_JJ score_NN1 ,_, 1,330_MC )_) ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ like_II a_AT1 narcissism_NN1 Rorschach_NP1 :_: I_PPIS1 am_VBM feminist_JJ ,_, headachey_NN1 ,_, acquisitive_JJ ,_, fantasy-driven_NN1 ,_, and_CC completely_RR word-game_NN1 bedeviled_VVD ._. 
Bong_VV0 !_! 
Just_RR like_II that_DD1 ,_, it_PPH1 was_VBDZ over_RP ._. 
A_AT1 little_JJ window_NN1 appeared_VVD informing_VVG me_PPIO1 that_CST I_PPIS1 had_VHD had_VHN my_APPGE five_MC minutes_NNT2 of_IO Freedom_NN1 ,_, and_CC asking_VVG if_CS I_PPIS1 'd_VM like_VVI to_TO donate_VVI to_II Fred_NP1 Stutzman_NP1 ._. 
No_AT work_NN1 completed_VVD ._. 
All_DB I_PPIS1 'd_VHD done_VDN was_VBDZ stare_NN1 at_II my_APPGE Internet_NN1 navel_NN1 for_IF five_MC minutes_NNT2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM need_VVI to_TO take_VVI a_AT1 breath_NN1 and_CC dive_VVI in_RP for_IF more_DAR ._. 
And_CC that_DD1 's_VBZ when_RRQ I_PPIS1 wrote_VVD this_DD1 sentence_NN1 ._. 
And_CC this_DD1 one_PN1 ._. 
All_DB of_IO the_AT sentences_NN2 so_RG far_RR ,_, actually_RR ._. 
Except_II21 for_II22 the_AT few_DA2 minutes_NNT2 during_II which_DDQ I_PPIS1 did_VDD call_VVI the_AT bank_NN1 to_TO check_VVI on_II getting_VVG my_APPGE money_NN1 back_RP from_II that_DD1 guy_NN1 who_PNQS was_VBDZ using_VVG my_APPGE credit_NN1 card_NN1 for_IF gas_NN1 ._. 
But_CCB that_DD1 was_VBDZ actually_RR kind_RR21 of_RR22 important_JJ ,_, too_RR ._. 
The_AT kind_NN1 of_IO thing_NN1 that_CST might_VM have_VHI been_VBN put_VVN off_RP for_IF another_DD1 hour_NNT1 ,_, or_CC another_DD1 day_NNT1 ,_, if_CS I_PPIS1 had_VHD Webs_NN2 to_TO surf_VVI ,_, words_NN2 to_TO unscramble_VVI ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VHZ been_VBN about_RG a_AT1 week_NNT1 with_IW Freedom_NN1 ,_, and_CC I_PPIS1 like_VV0 it_PPH1 ,_, I_PPIS1 really_RR do_VD0 ,_, even_CS21 if_CS22 I_PPIS1 'm_VBM a_RR21 bit_RR22 ashamed_JJ that_CST I_PPIS1 need_VV0 it_PPH1 ._. 
I_MC1 still_JJ use_NN1 it_PPH1 mostly_RR for_IF about_RG 15-_JJ or_CC 30-minute_JJ periods_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 have_VH0 gotten_VVN an_AT1 immense_JJ amount_NN1 of_IO work_NN1 done_VDN ,_, and_CC it_PPH1 has_VHZ demonstrated_VVN ,_, again_RT and_CC again_RT ,_, in_II ways_NN2 that_CST I_PPIS1 've_VH0 known_VVN intellectually_RR but_CCB not_XX viscerally_RR ,_, how_RRQ Web-dependent_JJ I_PPIS1 have_VH0 become_VVN ._. 
And_CC I_PPIS1 'm_VBM not_XX referring_VVG to_II connectivity_NN1 simply_RR as_II a_AT1 time-waster_NN1 or_CC procrastination_NN1 tool_NN1 ,_, but_CCB as_II a_AT1 work_NN1 resource_NN1 ._. 
Where_CS once_RR I_PPIS1 would_VM have_VHI reached_VVN for_IF dictionaries_NN2 or_CC thesauri_NN2 ,_, or_CC written_JJ notes_NN2 and_CC references_NN2 ,_, I_PPIS1 have_VH0 found_VVN exactly_RR how_RGQ hungry_JJ --_NN1 and_CC temporarily_RR starved_JJ --_NN1 I_PPIS1 've_VH0 become_VVN for_IF all_DB the_AT instant_JJ information_NN1 I_PPIS1 'm_VBM so_RG used_JJ to_II having_VHG at_II my_APPGE fingertips_NN2 ._. 
Yes_UH ,_, the_AT whole_JJ thing_NN1 makes_VVZ me_PPIO1 feel_NN1 infantile_JJ and_CC weak_JJ ._. 
Like_II a_AT1 tween_NN1 whose_DDQGE parents_NN2 have_VH0 put_VVN some_DD kind_NN1 of_IO monitoring_VVG software_NN1 on_II my_APPGE computer_NN1 ;_; except_CS in_II this_DD1 case_NN1 I_PPIS1 am_VBM both_RR tween_JJ and_CC parent_NN1 ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 'm_VBM not_XX alone_JJ ._. 
In_II other_JJ corners_NN2 of_IO the_AT Internet_NN1 universe_NN1 ,_, people_NN are_VBR turning_VVG to_II programs_NN2 like_II RescueTime_NNT1 and_CC MeeTimer_NP1 to_TO monitor_VVI ,_, track_NN1 and_CC limit_VVI the_AT time_NNT1 they_PPHS2 spend_VV0 on_II Twitter_NN1 ,_, and_CC something_PN1 called_VVD LeechBlock_NP1 to_TO prevent_VVI themselves_PPX2 from_II even_RR going_VVG to_II certain_JJ sites_NN2 for_IF certain_JJ times_NNT2 of_IO the_AT day_NNT1 ._. 
Has_VHZ it_PPH1 come_VV0 to_II this_DD1 ?_? 
To_II a_AT1 point_NN1 at_II which_DDQ the_AT Internet_NN1 is_VBZ so_RG damn_JJ convenient_JJ that_CST instead_II21 of_II22 dialing_VVG up_RP and_CC searching_VVG for_IF Wi-Fi_NP1 and_CC complaining_VVG about_II slow_JJ connectivity_NN1 I_PPIS1 'm_VBM actually_RR able_JK to_TO not_XX only_RR take_VVI it_PPH1 for_IF granted_VVN but_CCB also_RR see_VV0 it_PPH1 as_CSA my_APPGE jailer_NN1 ?_? 
Or_CC my_APPGE dealer_NN1 ?_? 
Must_VM I_PPIS1 give_VVI myself_PPX1 over_RP to_II some_DD computerized_JJ policeman_NN1 or_CC censor_VV0 rather_CS21 than_CS22 simply_RR revel_VVI in_II the_AT abundance_NN1 of_IO online_JJ resources_NN2 in_II my_APPGE life_NN1 and_CC then_RT turn_VV0 them_PPHO2 off_RP when_CS work_NN1 --_NN1 or_CC life_NN1 --_NN1 calls_VVZ ?_? 
As_II the_AT first_MD commenter_NN1 on_II the_AT Chronicle_NN1 of_IO Higher_JJR Education_NN1 story_NN1 about_II Freedom_NN1 noted_VVD ,_, "_" Let_VM21 's_VM22 take_VVI a_AT1 word_NN1 and_CC use_VVI it_PPH1 to_TO describe_VVI ..._... the_AT opposite_NN1 of_IO what_DDQ it_PPH1 means_VVZ ,_, thus_RR eventually_RR eliminating_VVG the_AT opposite_JJ from_II the_AT lexicon_NN1 ._. "_" 
Then_RT again_RT ,_, as_CSA the_AT final_JJ commenter_NN1 on_II the_AT story_NN1 noted_VVN with_IW Gollum-like_JJ intensity_NN1 ,_, "_" ineed_VV0 IT_NN1 ._. "_" 
Apparently_RR ,_, so_RR do_VD0 I._NP1 No_RGQV31 matter_RGQV32 how_RGQV33 many_DA2 top_JJ hits_NN2 he_PPHS1 had_VHD or_CC B_ZZ1 movies_NN2 Colonel_NNB Parker_NP1 stuck_VVD him_PPHO1 in_RP ,_, Elvis_NP1 remained_VVD loved_VVN as_II the_AT "_" sharecropper_NN1 's_GE son_NN1 in_II the_AT big_JJ house_NN1 ,_, "_" that_DD1 truck_NN1 driver_NN1 who_PNQS made_VVD it_PPH1 big_JJ ._. 
When_CS he_PPHS1 arrived_VVD to_II stardom_NN1 he_PPHS1 brought_VVD his_APPGE friends_NN2 ,_, and_CC he_PPHS1 did_VDD not_XX donate_VVI his_APPGE wealth_NN1 away_RL to_II elusive_JJ foundations_NN2 but_CCB showered_VVD it_PPH1 freely_RR upon_II friends_NN2 and_CC strangers_NN2 alike_RR ,_, bestowing_VVG Cadillacs_NN2 and_CC expensive_JJ jewelry_NN1 on_II those_DD2 who_PNQS happened_VVD to_TO be_VBI within_II eye-sight_NN1 ,_, while_CS building_VVG a_AT1 gaudy_JJ personal_JJ empire_NN1 and_CC playground_NN1 that_CST flew_VVD in_II the_AT face_NN1 of_IO every_AT1 kind_NN1 of_IO taste_NN1 --_NN1 except_CS21 that_CS22 of_IO the_AT people_NN ._. 
