Raw_JJ Edges_NN2 :_: A_AT1 Memoir_NN1 I_PPIS1 'd_VM thank_VVI him_PPHO1 for_IF his_APPGE love_NN1 of_IO Kris_NP1 Kristofferson_NP1 songs_NN2 --_NN1 "_" The_AT Preacher_NN1 "_" and_CC "_" Bobbie_NP1 McGee_NP1 "_" --_NN1 and_CC the_AT way_NN1 he_PPHS1 'd_VM walk_VVI around_II the_AT house_NN1 in_II his_APPGE underwear_NN1 singing_VVG "_" Freedom_NN1 's_VBZ just_RR another_DD1 word_NN1 for_IF nothing_PN1 left_VVD to_TO lose_VVI ;_; "_" for_IF the_AT way_NN1 he_PPHS1 played_VVD the_AT washboard_NN1 with_IW such_DA gusto_NN1 in_II the_AT family_NN1 band_NN1 ;_; for_IF the_AT times_NNT2 we_PPIS2 laughed_VVD ourselves_PPX2 silly_JJ with_IW the_AT bad_JJ country_NN1 music_NN1 lyrics_NN2 we_PPIS2 made_VVD up_RP in_II bed_NN1 while_CS everyone_PN1 else_RR slept_VVD ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM thank_VVI him_PPHO1 for_IF our_APPGE sons_NN2 --_NN1 those_DD2 amazing_JJ configurations_NN2 of_IO his_APPGE nose_NN1 ,_, my_APPGE hips_NN2 ,_, his_APPGE hair_NN1 ,_, my_APPGE ears_NN2 ,_, as_II31 well_II32 as_II33 the_AT extras_NN2 from_II the_AT ancestors_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM tell_VVI him_PPHO1 how_RRQ Brad_NP1 called_VVD me_PPIO1 one_MC1 night_NNT1 to_TO thank_VVI me_PPIO1 for_IF hanging_VVG in_II there_RL ,_, for_IF keeping_VVG the_AT family_NN1 together_RL until_CS he_PPHS1 finished_VVD high_JJ school_NN1 ,_, and_CC how_RRQ it_PPH1 meant_VVD everything_PN1 to_II him_PPHO1 ._. 
And_CC I_PPIS1 'd_VM thank_VVI him_PPHO1 for_IF challenging_VVG my_APPGE mind_NN1 and_CC helping_VVG to_TO shape_VVI it_PPH1 into_II a_AT1 much_RR more_RGR interesting_JJ entity_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 may_VM never_RR have_VHI been_VBN a_AT1 writer_NN1 had_VHD I_PPIS1 not_XX needed_VVN to_TO go_VVI to_II the_AT page_NN1 to_TO figure_VVI out_RP the_AT contradictions_NN2 ._. 
David_NP1 ,_, my_APPGE husband_NN1 ._. 
My_APPGE lover_NN1 ,_, except_CS he_PPHS1 's_VBZ not_XX mine_PPGE ._. 
No_PN121 one_PN122 belongs_VVZ to_II anyone_PN1 ,_, do_VD0 they_PPHS2 ?_? 
But_CCB why_RRQ do_VD0 I_PPIS1 want_VVI something_PN1 that_CST at_RR21 least_RR22 feels_VVZ as_CS21 though_CS22 it_PPH1 might_VM be_VBI mine_PPGE ?_? 
All_DB I_PPIS1 wanted_VVD was_VBDZ a_AT1 kept_JJ promise_NN1 ,_, something_PN1 to_TO help_VVI me_PPIO1 feel_NN1 safe_NN1 in_II this_DD1 crazy_JJ world_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 tried_VVD to_TO understand_VVI his_APPGE need_NN1 for_IF other_JJ women_NN2 ,_, that_DD1 indescribable_JJ frenzy_NN1 of_IO testosterone_NN1 men_NN2 have_VH0 and_CC the_AT pressing_JJ need_NN1 to_TO break_VVI free_JJ from_II what_DDQ must_VM seem_VVI ,_, at_II times_NNT2 ,_, like_II a_AT1 mountain_NN1 of_IO repression_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 made_VVD an_AT1 effort_NN1 to_TO understand_VVI his_APPGE intellectual_NN1 and_CC real_JJ fascination_NN1 with_IW loving_VVG more_DAR than_CSN one_MC1 woman_NN1 and_CC being_VBG responsible_JJ for_IF that_DD1 love_NN1 ,_, even_RR considering_II the_AT possibility_NN1 that_CST this_DD1 could_VM be_VBI the_AT higher_JJR order_NN1 of_IO things_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 tried_VVD hard_RR not_XX to_TO dismiss_VVI his_APPGE intricate_JJ and_CC powerful_JJ mind_NN1 that_CST hoped_VVD against_II hope_NN1 it_PPH1 could_VM transcend_VVI the_AT ordinary_JJ ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 just_RR wanted_VVD that_CST one_MC1 promise_NN1 kept_VVD ,_, the_AT one_PN1 about_II being_VBG faithful_JJ ._. 
I_PPIS1 wish_VV0 I_PPIS1 could_VM have_VHI been_VBN enough_RR for_IF him_PPHO1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 wish_VV0 ._. 
I_PPIS1 wish_VV0 ._. 
And_CC yet_RR ,_, maybe_RR he_PPHS1 never_RR really_RR felt_VVD safe_JJ with_IW me_PPIO1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ madly_RR in_II love_NN1 with_IW him_PPHO1 and_CC thought_VVD him_PPHO1 the_AT supremo_NN1 apple_NN1 of_IO the_AT crop_NN1 ._. 
But_CCB ,_, then_RT there_EX were_VBDR bad-apple_JJ days_NNT2 ,_, those_DD2 rotten-to-the-core_JJ days_NNT2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD my_APPGE mood_NN1 swings_VVZ :_: my_APPGE ups_NN2 when_RRQ the_AT world_NN1 was_VBDZ brighter_JJR than_CSN the_AT golden_JJ haze_NN1 on_II the_AT meadow_NN1 ,_, my_APPGE downs_NN2 when_RRQ I_PPIS1 knew_VVD I_PPIS1 'd_VM never_RR measure_VVI up_RP no_RGQV31 matter_RGQV32 how_RGQV33 hard_RR I_PPIS1 tried_VVD ._. 
Sometimes_RT I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 powder_NN1 keg_NN1 ,_, so_RG restless_JJ ,_, so_RG full_JJ of_IO yearning_VVG to_TO be_VBI someone_PN1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 must_VM have_VHI felt_VVN it_PPH1 impossible_JJ to_TO satisfy_VVI me_PPIO1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 did_VDD tell_VVI me_PPIO1 he_PPHS1 loved_VVD me_PPIO1 ._. 
What_DDQ else_RR mattered_VVN if_CS he_PPHS1 loved_VVD me_PPIO1 ?_? he_PPHS1 said_VVD ._. 
Maybe_RR my_APPGE disappointment_NN1 oozed_VVD up_RP out_II21 of_II22 my_APPGE feeling_NN1 of_IO never_RR being_VBG enough_RR for_IF anyone_PN1 ,_, even_RR myself_PPX1 ._. 
Or_CC from_II my_APPGE belief_NN1 that_CST men_NN2 would_VM wander_VVI to_II other_JJ pursuits_NN2 if_CS I_PPIS1 were_VBDR n't_XX spectacular_JJ in_II every_AT1 way_NN1 ._. 
The_AT Scheherazade_NP1 syndrome_NN1 ._. 
Wait_VV0 a_AT1 minute_NNT1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'm_VBM getting_VVG a_AT1 flash_NN1 about_II those_DD2 one-frame_JJ pictures_NN2 that_CST finger_VV0 my_APPGE mind_NN1 :_: a_AT1 dead_JJ son_NN1 ,_, an_AT1 emotionally_RR absent_JJ father_NN1 ,_, an_AT1 unfaithful_JJ husband_NN1 ..._... 
I_PPIS1 've_VH0 cut_VVN those_DD2 wispy_JJ pieces_NN2 of_IO film_NN1 from_II the_AT reel_NN1 ,_, framed_VVD them_PPHO2 ,_, and_CC hung_VVD them_PPHO2 on_II my_APPGE wall_NN1 ._. 
Even_CS21 though_CS22 I_PPIS1 've_VH0 got_VVN tons_NNU2 of_IO footage_NN1 to_TO choose_VVI from_II ,_, I_PPIS1 've_VH0 got_VVN this_DD1 uncanny_JJ attraction_NN1 to_II the_AT sad_JJ shots_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'm_VBM a_AT1 bull-dog_NN1 editor_NN1 with_IW an_AT1 eye_NN1 for_IF despair_NN1 ._. 
Toss_VV0 in_II the_AT guilt_NN1 ,_, and_CC I_PPIS1 've_VH0 got_VVN pictures_NN2 to_TO prove_VVI how_RGQ short_JJ life_NN1 has_VHZ fallen_VVN --_NN1 how_RRQ bad_JJ I_PPIS1 am_VBM ,_, how_RRQ insufficient_JJ David_NP1 is_VBZ ,_, how_RRQ disappointing_JJ we_PPIS2 all_DB are_VBR ._. 
In_II the_AT end_NN1 ,_, maybe_RR the_AT stories_NN2 I_PPIS1 've_VH0 been_VBN telling_VVG myself_PPX1 are_VBR only_JJ stories_NN2 built_VVN around_II these_DD2 tearful_JJ ,_, sad_JJ ,_, disappointing_JJ freeze-frames_NN2 ._. 
That_CST I_PPIS1 've_VH0 been_VBN wishing_VVG to_TO tell_VVI "_" the_AT whole_JJ truth_NN1 and_CC nothing_PN1 but_II the_AT truth_NN1 "_" could_VM be_VBI the_AT biggest_JJT lie_NN1 of_IO all_DB ._. 
In_II reality_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 've_VH0 been_VBN enamored_VVN with_IW my_APPGE sadness_NN1 and_CC my_APPGE grief_NN1 ,_, with_IW my_APPGE expulsion_NN1 from_II the_AT Garden_NN1 ,_, and_CC some_DD of_IO my_APPGE friends_NN2 have_VH0 tried_VVN to_TO comfort_VVI me_PPIO1 by_II saying_VVG that_CST David_NP1 is_VBZ ultimately_RR selfish_JJ ._. 
But_CCB maybe_RR there_EX 's_VBZ a_AT1 fact_NN1 out_RP there_RL ,_, floating_VVG around_RP on_II the_AT universal_JJ currents_NN2 ,_, that_CST some_DD humans_NN2 are_VBR ,_, by_II nature_NN1 ,_, polyamorous_JJ ._. 
Maybe_RR this_DD1 is_VBZ the_AT truth_NN1 of_IO who_PNQS he_PPHS1 is_VBZ ,_, and_CC he_PPHS1 does_VDZ n't_XX need_VVI to_TO be_VBI judged_VVN as_CSA selfish_JJ ._. 
The_AT question_NN1 of_IO how_RRQ he_PPHS1 deals_VVZ with_IW his_APPGE nature_NN1 is_VBZ the_AT crux_NN1 of_IO the_AT matter_NN1 ._. 
Maybe_RR I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX have_VHI any_DD idea_NN1 who_PNQS David_NP1 really_RR is_VBZ ,_, though_CS I_PPIS1 do_VD0 know_VVI the_AT stories_NN2 I_PPIS1 tell_VV0 about_II him_PPHO1 ._. 
Maybe_RR we_PPIS2 both_DB2 wrote_VVD our_APPGE stories_NN2 around_II our_APPGE disappointments_NN2 and_CC losses_NN2 ,_, which_DDQ became_VVD hard_JJ wiring_NN1 ._. 
Maybe_RR we_PPIS2 've_VH0 been_VBN fixated_VVN with_IW the_AT holes_NN2 ,_, but_CCB we_PPIS2 're_VBR all_DB full_JJ of_IO holes_NN2 ._. 
Why_RRQ be_VBI obsessed_JJ with_IW only_RR the_AT holes_NN2 ?_? 
The_AT gaps_NN2 ?_? 
The_AT insufficiencies_NN2 ?_? 
Why_RRQ not_XX be_VBI happy_JJ for_IF the_AT cloth_NN1 that_CST 's_VBZ whole_JJ ,_, for_IF the_AT part_NN1 that_CST keeps_VVZ things_NN2 together_RL ?_? 
The_AT truth_NN1 is_VBZ ,_, there_EX is_VBZ such_DA a_AT1 thing_NN1 as_CSA love_NN1 ._. 
None_PN of_IO us_PPIO2 may_VM know_VVI how_RRQ to_TO show_VVI it_PPH1 well_RR or_CC embrace_VV0 it_PPH1 completely_RR ,_, but_CCB there_EX 's_VBZ enough_DD of_IO it_PPH1 to_TO give_VVI shape_NN1 to_II our_APPGE lives_NN2 and_CC support_VVI us_PPIO2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 know_VV0 that_CST I_PPIS1 love_VV0 ,_, even_CS21 if_CS22 I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX love_VVI as_RG well_RR as_CSA I_PPIS1 might_VM if_CS I_PPIS1 were_VBDR grander_JJR ._. 
Or_CC maybe_RR even_RR simpler_JJR ._. 
This_DD1 never_RR changes_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 may_VM be_VBI a_AT1 matter_NN1 of_IO the_AT way_NN1 I_PPIS1 give_VV0 my_APPGE heart_NN1 ,_, the_AT way_NN1 I_PPIS1 open_VV0 up_RP a_AT1 space_NN1 for_IF someone_PN1 and_CC that_DD1 space_NN1 is_VBZ taken_VVN after_II that_DD1 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ like_II the_AT men_NN2 I_PPIS1 've_VH0 loved_VVN are_VBR still_RR inside_RL of_IO me_PPIO1 ,_, as_CS21 if_CS22 once_RR I_PPIS1 've_VH0 made_VVN love_NN1 ,_, the_AT semen_NN1 becomes_VVZ a_AT1 permanent_JJ web_NN1 stretched_VVN from_II rib_NN1 to_II rib_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ like_II the_AT women_NN2 who_PNQS 've_VH0 been_VBN close_JJ and_CC who_PNQS 've_VH0 helped_VVN me_PPIO1 carry_VVI my_APPGE burdens_NN2 as_CSA I_PPIS1 've_VH0 helped_VVN them_PPHO2 carry_VVI theirs_PPGE are_VBR like_JJ stones_NN2 in_II the_AT river_NN1 ,_, always_RR there_RL even_CS21 if_CS22 the_AT river_NN1 moves_VVZ on_RP ._. 
This_DD1 business_NN1 of_IO love_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX really_RR temporary_JJ ,_, even_CS21 if_CS22 it_PPH1 seems_VVZ the_AT most_RGT temporary_JJ and_CC fleeting_JJ thing_NN1 of_IO all_DB ._. 
It_PPH1 has_VHZ always_RR been_VBN there_RL ._. 
It_PPH1 lives_VVZ ._. 
One_MC1 thing_NN1 I_PPIS1 would_VM say_VVI to_II David_NP1 ._. 
Dear_JJ David_NP1 :_: You_PPY need_VV0 to_TO be_VBI commended_VVN for_IF the_AT way_NN1 you_PPY 've_VH0 stepped_VVN up_II21 to_II22 the_AT bat_NN1 for_IF me_PPIO1 and_CC the_AT boys_NN2 and_CC for_IF the_AT way_NN1 you_PPY 've_VH0 always_RR been_VBN there_RL and_CC are_VBR still_RR there_RL loving_VVG us_PPIO2 even_CS21 if_CS22 your_APPGE timing_NN1 seemed_VVD off_RP ._. 
You_PPY were_VBDR telling_VVG me_PPIO1 the_AT truth_NN1 when_CS you_PPY said_VVD you_PPY 'd_VM always_RR love_VVI me_PPIO1 ._. 
You_PPY 've_VH0 been_VBN amazingly_RR loyal_JJ ,_, all_DB said_VVD and_CC done_VDN ._. 
As_CSA I_PPIS1 look_VV0 back_RP with_IW more_DAR maturity_NN1 than_CSN I_PPIS1 once_RR had_VHD ,_, I_PPIS1 can_VM finally_RR allow_VVI myself_PPX1 to_TO feel_VVI that_CST yes_UH ,_, you_PPY are_VBR speaking_VVG the_AT truth_NN1 when_CS you_PPY say_VV0 you_PPY love_VV0 me_PPIO1 ._. 
And_CC ,_, whatever_DDQV love_NN1 is_VBZ and_CC however_RR imperfectly_RR most_DAT of_IO us_PPIO2 manifest_VV0 it_PPH1 ,_, you_PPY should_VM know_VVI I_PPIS1 love_VV0 you_PPY and_CC our_APPGE sons_NN2 ._. 
That_DD1 ,_, my_APPGE dear_NN1 ,_, is_VBZ the_AT truth_NN1 ._. 
December_NPM1 of_IO 2002_MC ,_, I_PPIS1 moved_VVD back_RP to_II Salt_NP1 Lake_NP1 City_NN1 ,_, bought_VVD the_AT perfect_JJ cottage_NN1 near_RL Parleys_VVZ Way_NN1 ,_, and_CC the_AT summer_NNT1 in_II the_AT Denver_NP1 attic_NN1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 thing_NN1 of_IO the_AT past_NN1 ._. 
Knowing_VVG I_PPIS1 needed_VVD to_TO get_VVI back_RP into_II the_AT swim_NN1 of_IO life_NN1 again_RT and_CC knowing_VVG I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX want_VVI to_TO wait_VVI around_RP for_IF David_NP1 to_TO have_VHI a_AT1 falling-out_NN1 with_IW his_APPGE girlfriend_NN1 or_CC watch_VV0 hungrily_RR from_II the_AT outside_JJ ,_, I_PPIS1 returned_VVD to_II the_AT place_NN1 that_CST felt_VVD like_II home_NN1 ._. 
Reluctantly_RR leaving_VVG Brad_NP1 and_CC Jeremy_NP1 ,_, my_APPGE two_MC bachelor_NN1 sons_NN2 ,_, and_CC Chris_NP1 and_CC Stacia_NP1 ,_, who_PNQS were_VBDR now_RT parents_NN2 to_II Miss_NNB Sophia_NP1 Rose_NP1 ,_, I_PPIS1 turned_VVD to_II a_AT1 large_JJ network_NN1 of_IO friends_NN2 eager_JJ to_TO welcome_VVI me_PPIO1 back_RP ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ ready_JJ to_TO start_VVI over_RP ._. 
One_MC1 week_NNT1 after_II the_AT moving_JJ van_NN1 drove_VVD away_RL ,_, I_PPIS1 sent_VVD out_RP invitations_NN2 to_II a_AT1 tea_NN1 party_NN1 with_IW old_JJ friends_NN2 ,_, complete_JJ with_IW a_AT1 request_NN1 to_TO wear_VVI hats_NN2 ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ still_RR new_JJ in_II town_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VHD been_VBN gone_VVN a_AT1 long_JJ time_NNT1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 managed_VVD very_RG well_RR until_CS one_MC1 Sunday_NPD1 morning_NNT1 in_II October_NPM1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD no_AT plans_NN2 for_IF the_AT day_NNT1 ._. 
The_AT hours_NNT2 stretched_VVD out_RP in_II31 front_II32 of_II33 me_PPIO1 ._. 
Books_NN2 to_TO read_VVI ._. 
Newspapers_NN2 ._. 
A_AT1 walk_NN1 ._. 
A_AT1 few_DA2 telephone_NN1 calls_VVZ to_II my_APPGE sons_NN2 ._. 
My_APPGE little_JJ house_NN1 felt_VVD too_RG quiet_JJ ,_, however_RR ,_, as_CSA I_PPIS1 sat_VVD in_II my_APPGE rocking_JJ chair_NN1 reading_NN1 headlines_NN2 ,_, opinions_NN2 ,_, and_CC feature_NN1 articles_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ the_AT Sabbath_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 felt_VVD that_CST old_JJ urge_NN1 to_TO get_VVI my_APPGE Sunday-best_JJT clothes_NN2 out_II21 of_II22 the_AT back_NN1 of_IO my_APPGE closet_NN1 ,_, put_VV0 them_PPHO2 on_RP ,_, and_CC walk_VV0 over_RP to_II the_AT chapel_NN1 :_: the_AT ward_NN1 ._. 
Why_RRQ should_VM n't_XX I_PPIS1 partake_VVI of_IO my_APPGE Mormon_JJ community_NN1 again_RT even_CS21 if_CS22 I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ n't_XX a_AT1 true_JJ believe_VV0 ?_? 
I_PPIS1 missed_VVD those_DD2 days_NNT2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 liked_VVD the_AT sense_NN1 of_IO belonging_VVG somewhere_RL ._. 
Maybe_RR I_PPIS1 should_VM go_VVI see_VV0 the_AT bishop_NN1 and_CC submit_VVI to_II baptismal_JJ waters_NN2 again_RT ,_, a_AT1 second_MD baptism_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 cleansing_NN1 ._. 
Some_DD of_IO the_AT early_JJ Mormons_NN2 were_VBDR rebaptized_VVN when_CS their_APPGE souls_NN2 needed_VVD a_AT1 good_JJ scrub_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VHD made_VVN big_JJ mistakes_NN2 ,_, I_PPIS1 knew_VVD ,_, but_CCB maybe_RR I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ no_AT more_RRR a_AT1 sinner_NN1 than_CSN anyone_PN1 else_RR ,_, all_DB said_VVD and_CC done_VDN ._. 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD a_AT1 kind_NN1 heart_NN1 most_DAT of_IO the_AT time_NNT1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 tried_VVD to_TO live_VVI the_AT Golden_JJ Rule_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 told_VVD the_AT truth_NN1 as_RG best_RRT I_PPIS1 could_VM ,_, so_RR why_RRQ make_VVI such_DA a_AT1 big_JJ deal_NN1 out_II21 of_II22 this_DD1 ?_? 
"_" No_AT man_NN1 is_VBZ good_JJ save_II God_NP1 ,_, "_" the_AT Good_JJ Book_NN1 said_VVD ._. 
The_AT clock_NN1 ticked_VVD ._. 
The_AT turning_NN1 pages_NN2 of_IO newspaper_NN1 seemed_VVD ludicrously_RR loud_JJ ._. 
There_EX were_VBDR those_DD2 other_JJ Sunday_NPD1 mornings_NNT2 ._. 
Southern_JJ Nevada_NP1 when_CS I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 young_JJ girl_NN1 rushing_VVG to_TO iron_VVI my_APPGE dress_NN1 ,_, curl_VV0 my_APPGE hair_NN1 ,_, polish_VV0 my_APPGE shoes_NN2 ,_, all_DB the_AT while_NNT1 listening_VVG to_II the_AT radio_NN1 --_NN1 the_AT Mormon_JJ Tabernacle_NN1 Choir_NN1 and_CC the_AT Spoken_JJ Word_NN1 from_II the_AT Crossroads_NN1 of_IO the_AT West_ND1 ._. 
Mother_NN1 brushing_VVG my_APPGE shiny_JJ black_JJ hair_NN1 she_PPHS1 'd_VHD curled_VVN with_IW rags_NN2 and_CC checking_VVG her_APPGE three_MC daughters_NN2 '_GE buttons_NN2 and_CC her_APPGE son_NN1 's_GE necktie_NN1 ._. 
One_MC1 of_IO us_PPIO2 always_RR had_VHN a_AT1 two-and-a-half-minute_JJ talk_NN1 to_TO give_VVI ,_, it_PPH1 seemed_VVD ,_, which_DDQ we_PPIS2 usually_RR prepared_VVN at_II the_AT last_MD minute_NNT1 and_CC a_AT1 half_NN1 ._. 
And_CC yes_UH ,_, there_EX was_VBDZ that_DD1 morning_NNT1 when_RRQ I_PPIS1 barged_VVD into_II the_AT foyer_NN1 of_IO the_AT church_NN1 ,_, my_APPGE exuberance_NN1 from_II the_AT sunshine_NN1 and_CC the_AT out-of-doors_NN2 dispersing_VVG the_AT flock_NN1 of_IO women_NN2 talking_VVG together_RL before_II the_AT meeting_NN1 ._. 
Too_RG much_DA1 me_PPIO1 full_JJ of_IO wind_NN1 ,_, sun_NN1 ,_, and_CC sky_NN1 ._. 
Mother_NN1 pulling_VVG me_PPIO1 to_II her_APPGE side_NN1 ,_, squeezing_VVG my_APPGE arm_NN1 with_IW her_APPGE strong_JJ hand_NN1 ,_, telling_VVG me_PPIO1 to_TO settle_VVI down_RP ,_, we_PPIS2 were_VBDR in_II church_NN1 after_II all_DB ._. 
And_CC those_DD2 other_JJ Sunday_NPD1 mornings_NNT2 ._. 
In_II Salt_NP1 Lake_NP1 City_NN1 when_CS I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 mother_NN1 ._. 
Juggling_VVG three_MC small_JJ boys_NN2 and_CC their_APPGE scuffed_JJ shoes_NN2 ,_, their_APPGE unruly_JJ hair_NN1 ,_, their_APPGE neckties_NN2 that_CST David_NP1 knotted_VVD for_IF them_PPHO2 ._. 
Rushing_VVG off_RP in_II the_AT family_NN1 car_NN1 ._. 
Unloading_VVG ._. 
Unpacking_VVG ._. 
Hauling_VVG piano_NN1 music_NN1 ,_, visual_JJ aids_NN2 for_IF my_APPGE Cultural_JJ Refinement_NN1 lessons_NN2 ,_, and_CC books_NN2 for_IF David_NP1 's_GE Marriage_NN1 Enrichment_NN1 class_NN1 ._. 
Telling_VVG our_APPGE sons_NN2 to_TO be_VBI gentlemen_NN2 ._. 
To_TO behave_VVI ._. 
Maybe_RR what_DDQ I_PPIS1 missed_VVD was_VBDZ showtime_NNT1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 loved_VVD a_AT1 good_JJ performance_NN1 ._. 
A_AT1 great_JJ speaker_NN1 ._. 
A_AT1 great_JJ song_NN1 ._. 
An_AT1 inspired_JJ choir_NN1 ._. 
And_CC I_PPIS1 loved_VVD to_TO give_VVI a_AT1 show_NN1 --_NN1 singing_VVG ,_, dancing_VVG ,_, playing_VVG the_AT piano_NN1 ,_, zipping_VVG around_RP like_II an_AT1 important_JJ bee_NN1 ,_, buzzing_VVG among_II the_AT saints_NN2 and_CC sinners_NN2 ,_, no_AT distinction_NN1 necessary_JJ in_II my_APPGE mind_NN1 ._. 
But_CCB ,_, truth_NN1 be_VBI known_VVN ,_, I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ never_RR quite_RG calm_JJ and_CC collected_VVD enough_RR to_TO fit_VVI well_RR ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ too_RG chaotic_JJ ,_, at_II times_NNT2 inappropriate_JJ and_CC subtly_RR rebellious_JJ --_NN1 a_AT1 Janis_NP1 Joplin_NP1 kind_NN1 of_IO desire_NN1 knocking_VVG against_II the_AT inside_NN1 of_IO my_APPGE skin_NN1 ,_, Let_VV0 me_PPIO1 out_RP ._. 
I_PPIS1 ca_VM n't_XX be_VBI quiet_JJ ,_, quiet_JJ ,_, quiet_JJ ._. 
I_PPIS1 want_VV0 to_TO sing_VVI ,_, sing_VV0 ,_, sing_VV0 ,_, and_CC kick_VV0 my_APPGE legs_NN2 high_RR ,_, and_CC roar_VV0 if_CS I_PPIS1 must_VM ._. 
I_PPIS1 wo_VM n't_XX be_VBI quiet_JJ ,_, quiet_JJ ,_, quiet_JJ ._. 
I_PPIS1 'm_VBM a_AT1 force_NN1 with_IW which_DDQ to_TO be_VBI reckoned_VVN ._. 
But_CCB ,_, truth_NN1 be_VBI told_VVN ,_, outside_II21 of_II22 church_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ also_RR shy_JJ ,_, shy_JJ ,_, shy_JJ ._. 
Very_JJ ._. 
The_AT ward_NN1 was_VBDZ my_APPGE refuge_NN1 ,_, the_AT place_NN1 to_II which_DDQ I_PPIS1 returned_VVD when_RRQ I_PPIS1 got_VVD knocked_VVN around_RP by_II the_AT vagaries_NN2 of_IO being_VBG a_AT1 teenager_NN1 ._. 
The_AT people_NN in_II my_APPGE ward_NN1 had_VHD loved_VVN me_PPIO1 ,_, taught_VVD me_PPIO1 ,_, told_VVD me_PPIO1 I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ amazing_JJ with_IW no_AT hesitation_NN1 ,_, and_CC propped_VVD me_PPIO1 up_RP in_II all_DB kinds_NN2 of_IO weather_NN1 ._. 
The_AT sun_NN1 was_VBDZ trying_VVG to_TO get_VVI inside_II my_APPGE cottage_NN1 windows_NN2 ,_, but_CCB the_AT pine_NN1 tree_NN1 in_II front_NN1 kept_VVD the_AT house_NN1 in_II its_APPGE shadow_NN1 ,_, especially_RR in_II the_AT mornings_NNT2 ._. 
Sundays_NPD2 ._. 
The_AT first_MD Sunday_NPD1 of_IO every_AT1 month_NNT1 ._. 
Testimony_NN1 meeting_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 remembered_VVD standing_NN1 ,_, my_APPGE emotions_NN2 intensifying_VVG while_CS I_PPIS1 waited_VVD for_IF the_AT microphone_NN1 to_TO be_VBI passed_VVN to_II me_PPIO1 so_RR I_PPIS1 could_VM bear_VVI witness_NN1 to_II the_AT Gospel_NN1 's_GE truth_NN1 ._. 
Because_CS testimony_NN1 giving_VVG had_VHD its_APPGE unwritten_JJ ,_, unacknowledged_JJ ,_, standardized_JJ form_NN1 and_CC because_CS I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX feel_VVI safe_JJ with_IW my_APPGE ingenuity_NN1 that_CST sometimes_RT jumped_VVD out_RP and_CC embarrassed_VVD me_PPIO1 ,_, I_PPIS1 borrowed_VVD phrases_NN2 I_PPIS1 'd_VHD heard_VVN from_II others_NN2 ,_, things_NN2 like_II "_" My_APPGE brothers_NN2 and_CC sisters_NN2 ..._... 
I_PPIS1 stand_VV0 here_RL before_CS you_PPY today_RT to_TO bear_VVI witness_NN1 to_II the_AT truthfulness_NN1 of_IO the_AT Gospel_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 know_VV0 this_DD1 Church_NN1 is_VBZ true_JJ ._. 
I_PPIS1 know_VV0 Joseph_NP1 Smith_NP1 is_VBZ a_AT1 prophet_NN1 of_IO God_NP1 ._. "_" 
