The_AT Comatose_JJ Adventures_NN2 Of_IO Lenny_NP1 Rose_NP1 Rule_NN1 number_NN1 one_MC1 :_: A_AT1 TV_NN1 sitcom_NN1 producer_NN1 must_VM never_RR call_VVI their_APPGE star_NN1 a_AT1 fat_JJ bitch_NN1 ,_, Lenny_NP1 told_VVD himself_PPX1 ._. 
Never_RR ._. 
Not_XX even_RR behind_II her_PPHO1 back_RP ._. 
Not_XX even_CS21 if_CS22 you_PPY could_VM take_VVI her_PPHO1 to_II court_NN1 and_CC put_VVD her_APPGE monstrous_JJ ass_NN1 on_II the_AT witness_NN1 stand_NN1 where_CS you_PPY would_VM prove_VVI beyond_II a_AT1 shadow_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 doubt_NN1 that_CST she_PPHS1 possesses_VVZ every_AT1 known_JJ characteristic_NN1 of_IO that_DD1 less_DAR than_CSN complimentary_JJ term_NN1 of_IO endearment_NN1 ._. 
Term_NN1 of_IO endearment_NN1 ?_? 
That_DD1 's_VBZ how_RRQ Lenny_NP1 tried_VVD to_TO explain_VVI it_PPH1 to_II the_AT rotund_JJ thespian_NN1 when_CS she_PPHS1 confronted_VVD him_PPHO1 with_IW indisputable_JJ evidence_NN1 that_CST he_PPHS1 had_VHD ,_, indeed_RR ,_, referred_VVN to_II her_PPHO1 as_II the_AT aforementioned_JJ corpulent_JJ canine_NN1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 'm_VBM from_II New_NP1 Jersey_NP1 ,_, "_" he_PPHS1 explained_VVD ._. 
"_" We_PPIS2 're_VBR vulgar_JJ people_NN ._. 
'Jerk_VV0 off_RP ,_, '_GE 'stupid_JJ prick_NN1 ,_, '_GE 'fat_NN1 bitch'_NN1 ..._... in_II Jersey_NP1 ,_, those_DD2 are_VBR like_JJ nicknames_NN2 ._. "_" 
"_" How_RRQ am_VBM I_PPIS1 supposed_JJ to_TO feel_VVI when_RRQ I_PPIS1 hear_VV0 that_CST you_PPY 're_VBR saying_VVG these_DD2 things_NN2 about_II me_PPIO1 ,_, Lenny_NP1 ?_? "_" she_PPHS1 asked_VVD as_CSA she_PPHS1 stuffed_VVD yet_RR another_DD1 bite_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 Chalupa_NP1 Grande_FW into_II her_PPHO1 still_RR full_JJ mouth_NN1 ._. 
"_" Like_VV0 I_PPIS1 'm_VBM a_AT1 close_JJ friend_NN1 ._. 
Like_VV0 I_PPIS1 care_VV0 enough_RR about_II you_PPY to_TO call_VVI you_PPY that_DD1 and_CC you_PPY know_VV0 that_CST I_PPIS1 mean_VV0 it_PPH1 in_II the_AT nicest_JJT possible_JJ way_NN1 ._. "_" 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ the_AT best_RRT shot_VVN Lenny_NP1 could_VM take_VVI and_CC he_PPHS1 ,_, amazingly_RR ,_, took_VVD it_PPH1 with_IW a_AT1 straight_JJ face_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 did_VDD n't_XX work_VVI ._. 
The_AT next_MD day_NNT1 Lenny_NP1 was_VBDZ fired_VVN ._. 
The_AT studio_NN1 would_VM not_XX have_VHI their_APPGE producers_NN2 ,_, no_RGQV31 matter_RGQV32 how_RGQV33 talented_JJ ,_, calling_VVG their_APPGE stars_NN2 unflattering_JJ names_NN2 --_JJ fat_NN1 or_CC skinny_JJ ,_, above_II the_AT waist_NN1 or_CC below_RL ._. 
Even_CS21 if_CS22 the_AT studio_NN1 executives_NN2 agreed_VVD completely_RR with_IW Lenny_NP1 's_GE assessment_NN1 ._. 
They_PPHS2 just_RR could_VM n't_XX have_VHI it_PPH1 ._. 
Lenny_NP1 reviewed_VVD rule_NN1 number_NN1 one_MC1 and_CC his_APPGE fantasized_JJ ,_, brilliant_JJ cross-examination_NN1 of_IO the_AT plus-sized_JJ actress_NN1 before_II the_AT sympathetic_JJ imaginary_JJ judge_NN1 and_CC jury_NN1 for_IF the_AT umpteenth_MD time_NNT1 as_II the_AT hot_JJ October_NPM1 afternoon_NNT1 forced_VVD him_PPHO1 into_II a_AT1 narcoleptic_JJ doze_NN1 ._. 
Try_VV0 though_CS he_PPHS1 might_VM ,_, it_PPH1 was_VBDZ impossible_JJ to_TO keep_VVI his_APPGE head_NN1 from_II repeatedly_RR bobbing_VVG to_II his_APPGE chest_NN1 ._. 
His_APPGE mind_NN1 was_VBDZ in_II a_AT1 nap-numbed_JJ haze_NN1 ,_, his_APPGE body_NN1 slouched_VVD and_CC twisted_VVN in_II a_AT1 metal_NN1 folding_NN1 chair_NN1 so_RG torturously_RR uncomfortable_JJ it_PPH1 was_VBDZ surely_RR designed_VVN by_II the_AT Marquis_NN1 de_NP1 Sade_NP1 ._. 
"_" Leonard_NP1 Rose_NP1 ,_, "_" Marilyn_NP1 Gruber_NP1 of_IO the_AT State_NN1 Unemployment_NN1 Department_NN1 called_VVN out_RP in_II a_AT1 late_JJ afternoon_NNT1 drone_NN1 ._. 
She_PPHS1 read_VVD the_AT name_NN1 off_II his_APPGE application_NN1 for_IF unemployment_NN1 benefits_NN2 then_RT scanned_VVD the_AT room_NN1 in_II a_AT1 seemingly_RR half-hearted_JJ attempt_NN1 to_TO connect_VVI it_PPH1 to_II a_AT1 face_NN1 ._. 
The_AT flat_JJ florescent_JJ lighting_NN1 and_CC pea_NN1 green_JJ walls_NN2 made_VVD everyone_PN1 in_II the_AT large_JJ waiting_NN1 room_NN1 ,_, including_II Gruber_NP1 ,_, look_NN1 washed_VVD out_RP and_CC even_RR more_RGR unsuccessful_JJ than_CSN they_PPHS2 already_RR felt_VVN ._. 
"_" Leonard_NP1 Rose_NP1 ,_, "_" Gruber_NP1 called_VVD out_RP ,_, now_RT with_IW a_AT1 touch_NN1 of_IO impatience_NN1 ._. 
Fortunately_RR ,_, Lenny_NP1 's_GE subconscious_NN1 heard_VVD enough_DD of_IO Marilyn_NP1 Gruber_NP1 's_GE call_NN1 to_TO bring_VVI him_PPHO1 to_II ._. 
He_PPHS1 checked_VVD his_APPGE shirt_NN1 for_IF any_DD signs_NN2 of_IO snooze-related_JJ drool_NN1 ,_, got_VVN to_II his_APPGE feet_NN2 ,_, and_CC walked_VVN over_RP to_II her_PPHO1 while_CS trying_VVG his_APPGE best_JJT to_TO dust_VVI away_RL the_AT mental_JJ cobwebs_NN2 ._. 
"_" Leonard_NP1 Rose_NP1 ?_? "_" 
Gruber_NP1 asked_VVD as_CSA he_PPHS1 approached_VVD her_PPHO1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 think_VV0 so_RR ,_, "_" Lenny_NP1 replied_VVD ,_, attempting_VVG to_TO evoke_VVI a_AT1 smile_NN1 from_II Gruber_NP1 ._. 
If_CS he_PPHS1 could_VM make_VVI her_APPGE smile_NN1 ,_, or_CC even_RR better_RRR ,_, laugh_VV0 ,_, she_PPHS1 'd_VM be_VBI on_II his_APPGE side_NN1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 'm_VBM Ms._NNB Gruber_NP1 ._. 
Follow_VV0 me_PPIO1 ,_, please_RR ,_, "_" she_PPHS1 said_VVD without_IW so_RR31 much_RR32 as_RR33 a_AT1 twitch_NN1 of_IO her_APPGE lip_NN1 ,_, let_II21 alone_II22 a_AT1 smile_NN1 ._. 
She_PPHS1 led_VVD Lenny_NP1 down_II a_AT1 row_NN1 of_IO modular_JJ ,_, metal_NN1 ,_, industrial_JJ workspaces_NN2 ,_, each_DD1 with_IW its_APPGE own_DA bureaucrat_NN1 in_II the_AT midst_NN1 of_IO an_AT1 interview_NN1 with_IW an_AT1 out-of-work_JJ citizen_NN1 ._. 
Lenny_NP1 followed_VVD Gruber_NP1 into_II her_APPGE cubbyhole_NN1 of_IO an_AT1 office_NN1 where_CS she_PPHS1 directed_VVD him_PPHO1 to_II the_AT chair_NN1 across_RL from_II her_APPGE desk_NN1 ._. 
She_PPHS1 then_RT gingerly_RR settled_VVD into_II her_APPGE chair_NN1 ,_, the_AT one_PN1 with_IW the_AT taxi-driver-style_JJ wooden_JJ bead_NN1 back_NN1 support_NN1 ._. 
Without_IW the_AT mail-order_NN1 miracle_NN1 ,_, her_APPGE day_NNT1 would_VM be_VBI spent_VVN in_II severe_JJ back_NN1 pain_NN1 ._. 
Gruber_NP1 took_VVD a_AT1 microcassette_NN1 recorder_NN1 from_II her_APPGE desk_NN1 drawer_NN1 ._. 
"_" Do_VD0 you_PPY mind_VVI if_CS I_PPIS1 tape_VV0 our_APPGE interview_NN1 ?_? 
It_PPH1 helps_VVZ me_PPIO1 when_RRQ I_PPIS1 write_VV0 up_RP the_AT report_NN1 of_IO our_APPGE session_NNT1 ._. "_" 
"_" Whatever_DDQV is_VBZ easiest_JJT for_IF you_PPY ,_, "_" Lenny_NP1 said_VVD ._. 
What_DDQ he_PPHS1 meant_VVD was_VBDZ ,_, whatever_DDQV will_VM get_VVI me_PPIO1 money_NN1 the_AT fastest_JJT ._. 
As_CSA Gruber_NP1 silently_RR reviewed_VVD his_APPGE unemployment_NN1 application_NN1 ,_, Lenny_NP1 perused_VVD the_AT cubicle_NN1 ,_, taking_VVG in_II Gruber_NP1 's_GE attempt_NN1 to_TO personalize_VVI the_AT olive-drab_JJ metallic_JJ surroundings_NN2 ._. 
The_AT partition_NN1 behind_II her_PPHO1 sported_VVD a_AT1 yellowing_JJ Cathy_NP1 cartoon_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ too_RG far_RR away_RL for_IF Lenny_NP1 to_TO read_VVI ._. 
It_PPH1 did_VDD n't_XX matter_VVI ._. 
He_PPHS1 never_RR laughed_VVD at_II Cathy_NP1 anyway_RR ._. 
Next_II21 to_II22 the_AT cartoon_NN1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 framed_JJ Bachelor_NN1 of_IO Arts_NN2 degree_NN1 from_II Stanford_NP1 ._. 
Lenny_NP1 wondered_VVD what_DDQ a_AT1 Stanford_NP1 grad_NN1 was_VBDZ doing_VDG working_JJ in_II a_AT1 dump_NN1 like_II this_DD1 ._. 
Not_XX that_CST he_PPHS1 should_VM talk_VVI ._. 
At_RR21 least_RR22 she_PPHS1 had_VHD a_AT1 job_NN1 ._. 
Lenny_NP1 squinted_VVD ,_, trying_VVG to_TO make_VVI out_RP the_AT year_NNT1 that_CST Gruber_NP1 had_VHD graduated_VVN ._. 
Nineteen_MC seventy-something_PN1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 had_VHD reached_VVN the_AT age_NN1 where_CS he_PPHS1 needed_VVD either_RR reading_VVG glasses_NN2 or_CC computer_NN1 glasses_NN2 or_CC seeing_VVG glasses_NN2 or_CC some_DD kind_NN1 of_IO help_NN1 to_TO bring_VVI the_AT world_NN1 into_II focus_NN1 ._. 
And_CC even_RR then_RT ,_, things_NN2 were_VBDR never_RR quite_RG clear_JJ ._. 
He_PPHS1 guessed_VVD that_CST she_PPHS1 must_VM have_VHI been_VBN about_II his_APPGE age_NN1 ,_, forty-nine_MC ._. 
Her_APPGE frizzy_JJ ,_, shoulder_NN1 length_NN1 hair_NN1 was_VBDZ salt-and-pepper_JJ gray_JJ ._. 
She_PPHS1 was_VBDZ about_RG thirty_MC pounds_NN2 overweight_JJ for_IF her_APPGE five-foot-five_MC frame_NN1 ,_, the_AT weight_NN1 mercifully_RR ,_, evenly_RR distributed_VVN between_II her_APPGE full_JJ bosom_NN1 and_CC ample_JJ butt_NN1 ,_, keeping_VVG her_PPHO1 in_II proportion_NN1 ._. 
Her_APPGE round_JJ ,_, open_JJ face_NN1 was_VBDZ n't_XX overly_RR wrinkled_JJ but_CCB she_PPHS1 obviously_RR had_VHD n't_XX had_VHN the_AT Hollywood_NP1 facelift_NN1 ._. 
Most_DAT of_IO the_AT women_NN2 Lenny_NP1 worked_VVD with_IW ,_, those_DD2 who_PNQS had_VHD reached_VVN their_APPGE forties_MC2 ,_, had_VHD partaken_VVN of_IO at_RR21 least_RR22 one_MC1 facelift_NN1 ,_, maybe_RR two_MC ._. 
Gruber_NP1 was_VBDZ n't_XX a_AT1 bad-looking_JJ woman_NN1 ._. 
She_PPHS1 just_RR could_VM n't_XX afford_VVI to_TO keep_VVI up_RP with_IW the_AT facial_JJ Joneses_NN2 who_PNQS drank_VVD from_II Southern_JJ California_NP1 's_GE fountain_NN1 of_IO eternal_JJ youth_NN1 ._. 
Lenny_NP1 noticed_VVD that_CST she_PPHS1 still_RR had_VHN a_AT1 sparkle_NN1 in_II her_APPGE dark_JJ brown_JJ eyes_NN2 and_CC thought_VVD ,_, had_VHD they_PPHS2 met_VVN thirty_MC years_NNT2 sooner_RRR ,_, she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ sort_RR21 of_RR22 his_APPGE type_NN1 ._. 
Lenny_NP1 had_VHD the_AT good_JJ fortune_NN1 of_IO looking_VVG younger_JJR than_CSN his_APPGE actual_JJ age_NN1 through_II no_AT great_JJ effort_NN1 on_II his_APPGE part_NN1 ._. 
Yes_UH ,_, he_PPHS1 worked_VVD out_RP and_CC was_VBDZ fairly_RR careful_JJ about_II his_APPGE diet_NN1 ,_, keeping_VVG his_APPGE five-foot-ten-inch_JJ frame_NN1 at_II a_AT1 reasonably_RR fit_VV0 one_MC1 hundred_NNO sixty-five_MC pounds_NN2 ._. 
