Why_RRQ Is_VBZ My_APPGE Mother_NN1 Getting_VVG a_AT1 Tattoo_NN1 ?_? :_: 
And_CC Other_JJ Questions_NN2 I_PPIS1 Wish_VV0 I_PPIS1 Never_RR Had_VHD to_TO Ask_VV0 Recently_RR my_APPGE younger_JJR sister_NN1 Heather_NP1 decided_VVD to_TO paint_VVI her_APPGE fireplace_NN1 white_NN1 ._. 
This_DD1 would_VM be_VBI minor_JJ news_NN1 in_II most_DAT families_NN2 ,_, but_CCB not_XX in_II ours_PPGE ._. 
All_DB day_NNT1 the_AT phone_NN1 calls_NN2 flew_VVD back_RP and_CC forth_RR ._. 
My_APPGE mother_NN1 suggested_VVD cream_NN1 instead_RR ,_, which_DDQ she_PPHS1 said_VVD was_VBDZ softer_JJR ._. 
My_APPGE retiree_NN1 father_NN1 phoned_VVN from_II the_AT golf_NN1 course_NN1 to_TO warn_VVI that_DD1 painting_NN1 the_AT fireplace_NN1 would_VM decrease_VVI the_AT property_NN1 value_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 debated_VVD the_AT pitfalls_NN2 of_IO the_AT "_" wrong_JJ "_" shade_NN1 of_IO white_JJ ._. 
My_APPGE other_JJ sister_NN1 ,_, Dinah_NP1 ,_, requested_VVN a_AT1 photo_NN1 of_IO the_AT fireplace_NN1 before_II weighing_VVG in_RP ._. 
My_APPGE family_NN1 does_VDZ everything_PN1 by_II committee_NN1 ,_, so_CS21 that_CS22 the_AT most_RGT trivial_JJ dilemma_NN1 is_VBZ debated_VVN with_IW the_AT zeal_NN1 of_IO Talmudic_JJ scholars_NN2 ._. 
(_( As_CSA Dinah_NP1 puts_VVZ it_PPH1 ,_, "_" No_PN121 one_PN122 in_II our_APPGE family_NN1 ever_RR says_VVZ ,_, 'I_UH do_VD0 n't_XX know_VVI ,_, '_GE even_CS21 when_CS22 they_PPHS2 know_VV0 absolutely_RR nothing_PN1 about_II the_AT subject_NN1 ._. "_" )_) 
We_PPIS2 all_DB live_VV0 within_II an_AT1 hour_NNT1 's_GE drive_NN1 of_IO one_PPX121 another_PPX122 --_JJ I_PPIS1 'm_VBM in_II Brooklyn_NP1 ,_, Dinah_NP1 and_CC my_APPGE folks_NN2 live_VV0 in_II our_APPGE home_NN1 state_NN1 of_IO New_NP1 Jersey_NP1 ,_, and_CC Heather_NP1 is_VBZ in_II a_AT1 small_JJ town_NN1 in_II upstate_JJ New_NP1 York_NP1 --_NN1 but_CCB we_PPIS2 can_VM never_RR seem_VVI to_TO save_VVI these_DD2 conversations_NN2 for_IF get-togethers_VVZ ._. 
They_PPHS2 require_VV0 an_AT1 immediate_JJ blizzard_NN1 of_IO phone_NN1 calls_NN2 ,_, so_CS we_PPIS2 all_DB signed_VVD up_RP for_IF a_AT1 "_" friends_NN2 and_CC family_NN1 "_" plan_NN1 to_TO do_VDI it_PPH1 on_II the_AT cheap_JJ ._. 
Dinah_UH ,_, a_AT1 mild-mannered_JJ editor_NN1 and_CC mother_NN1 of_IO two_MC ,_, is_VBZ the_AT most_RGT agreeable_JJ of_IO our_APPGE group_NN1 ,_, and_CC thus_RR most_RGT apt_JJ to_TO get_VVI flattened_VVN by_II the_AT familial_JJ steamroller_NN1 ._. 
When_CS she_PPHS1 wanted_VVD to_TO redecorate_VVI her_APPGE TV_NN1 room_NN1 last_MD year_NNT1 ,_, she_PPHS1 made_VVD the_AT tactical_JJ blunder_NN1 of_IO enthusiastically_RR sharing_VVG the_AT plan_NN1 with_IW Heather_NP1 and_CC my_APPGE mother_NN1 ._. 
After_CS weeks_NNT2 of_IO research_NN1 ,_, she_PPHS1 told_VVD them_PPHO2 ,_, she_PPHS1 had_VHD picked_VVN out_RP two_MC brown_JJ couches_NN2 ,_, a_AT1 dark_JJ brown_JJ rug_NN1 ,_, and_CC ,_, instead_II21 of_II22 a_AT1 coffee_NN1 table_NN1 ,_, two_MC large_JJ tan_JJ ottomans_NN2 ._. 
A_AT1 short_JJ ,_, deadly_JJ silence_NN1 ensued_VVD ._. 
"_" Huh_UH ,_, "_" said_VVD my_APPGE mother_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 former_DA Southern_JJ beauty_NN1 queen_NN1 not_XX known_VVN for_IF holding_VVG back_RP ._. 
This_DD1 is_VBZ code_NN1 for_CS I_PPIS1 hate_VV0 that_DD1 idea_NN1 ._. 
"_" It_PPH1 'll_VM look_VVI like_II a_AT1 padded_JJ cell_NN1 ,_, "_" said_VVD Heather_NP1 ,_, the_AT youngest_JJT sibling_NN1 and_CC an_AT1 elementary_JJ school_NN1 teacher_NN1 ._. 
When_CS I_PPIS1 got_VVD my_APPGE first_MD job_NN1 in_II New_NP1 York_NP1 City_NN1 ,_, at_II Rolling_JJ Stone_NN1 magazine_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 teenage_JJ Heather_NP1 used_VVD to_TO covertly_RR run_VVI my_APPGE life_NN1 ,_, advising_VVG me_PPIO1 on_II my_APPGE career_NN1 and_CC dating_VVG travails_NN2 ,_, despite_II having_VHG scant_JJ experience_NN1 in_II either_DD1 realm_NN1 ._. 
Dinah_UH ,_, in_II mid-shrivel_NN1 ,_, valiantly_RR moved_VVN on_II21 to_II22 plan_NN1 B._NP1 "_" Okay_RR ,_, instead_II21 of_II22 the_AT ottomans_NN2 ,_, how_RRQ about_RG two_MC little_JJ coffee_NN1 tables_NN2 that_CST I_PPIS1 can_VM move_VVI around_RP ?_? 
That_DD1 would_VM look_VVI kind_NN1 of_IO cool_JJ ._. 
Right_RR ?_? "_" 
For_IF Dinah_NP1 ,_, this_DD1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 radical_JJ proposal_NN1 ._. 
"_" When_RRQ are_VBR you_PPY going_VVGK to_TO move_VVI them_PPHO2 around_RP ?_? "_" wondered_VVD my_APPGE mother_NN1 ._. 
"_" The_AT only_JJ time_NNT1 they_PPHS2 're_VBR going_VVGK to_TO move_VVI ,_, "_" Heather_NP1 said_VVD ,_, "_" is_VBZ when_RRQ your_APPGE kids_NN2 run_VVN into_II them_PPHO2 and_CC knock_VV0 them_PPHO2 over_RP ._. "_" 
By_II the_AT end_NN1 of_IO their_APPGE little_JJ chat_NN1 ,_, Dinah_NP1 had_VHD been_VBN persuaded_VVN to_TO get_VVI two_MC cream-colored_JJ couches_NN2 ,_, a_AT1 cream_NN1 rug_NN1 with_IW red_JJ accents_NN2 ,_, and_CC a_AT1 conventional_JJ coffee_NN1 table_NN1 with_IW clean_JJ ,_, modern_JJ lines_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 saw_VVD the_AT results_NN2 a_AT1 few_DA2 weeks_NNT2 later_RRR ,_, and_CC while_CS the_AT room_NN1 looked_VVD great_JJ ,_, it_PPH1 was_VBDZ leagues_NN2 away_II21 from_II22 her_APPGE original_JJ idea_NN1 ._. 
"_" Why_RRQ did_VDD you_PPY feel_VVI compelled_VVN to_TO tell_VVI them_PPHO2 you_PPY were_VBDR redecorating_VVG ?_? "_" 
I_PPIS1 asked_VVD ._. 
She_PPHS1 shrugged_VVD ._. 
"_" Because_CS I_PPIS1 really_RR wanted_VVN to_TO know_VVI what_DDQ they_PPHS2 thought_VVD ._. 
Sometimes_RT it_PPH1 's_VBZ nice_JJ to_TO be_VBI told_VVN what_DDQ 's_VBZ best_JJT for_IF you_PPY by_II people_NN who_PNQS are_VBR absolutely_RR sure_JJ of_IO their_APPGE opinions_NN2 ._. "_" 
"_" But_CCB some_DD of_IO those_DD2 opinions_NN2 are_VBR half-baked_JJ !_! 
They_PPHS2 just_RR use_VV0 an_AT1 emphatic_JJ tone_NN1 of_IO voice_NN1 so_CS you_PPY think_VV0 they_PPHS2 possess_VV0 some_DD secret_JJ knowledge_NN1 ._. 
Hell_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 use_VV0 the_AT same_DA trick_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT as_CSA I_PPIS1 'm_VBM holding_VVG forth_RR ,_, I_PPIS1 'm_VBM thinking_VVG ,_, What_DDQ the_AT hell_NN1 am_VBM I_PPIS1 even_RR saying_VVG ?_? "_" 
Unfortunately_RR ,_, Dinah_NP1 does_VDZ not_XX have_VHI the_AT lawyerly_JJ power_NN1 of_IO persuasion_NN1 that_CST the_AT other_JJ females_NN2 of_IO the_AT family_NN1 specialize_VV0 in_RP ._. 
The_AT longest_RRT I_PPIS1 've_VH0 ever_RR witnessed_VVN her_PPHO1 hold_VV0 out_RP was_VBDZ twenty_MC minutes_NNT2 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 never_RR win_VV0 in_II family_NN1 committee_NN1 meetings_NN2 ,_, "_" she_PPHS1 told_VVD me_PPIO1 glumly_RR ._. 
"_" Remember_VV0 my_APPGE wedding_NN1 ?_? 
I_PPIS1 kind_RR21 of_RR22 remember_VV0 thinking_VVG I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX know_VVI if_CS I_PPIS1 want_VV0 this_DD1 a_RR21 lot_RR22 ._. 
How_RRQ about_II the_AT bridesmaids_NN2 '_GE dresses_NN2 ?_? 
You_PPY guys_NN2 wanted_VVD red_JJ velvet_NN1 with_IW black_JJ trim_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 thought_VVD you_PPY looked_VVD like_II waitresses_NN2 at_II Steak_NN1 and_CC Ale_NN1 ._. 
And_CC Dad_NN1 insisted_VVD I_PPIS1 get_VV0 my_APPGE hair_NN1 done_VDN at_II the_AT Penney_NP1 's_GE beauty_NN1 salon_NN1 ,_, and_CC I_PPIS1 hated_VVD it_PPH1 ._. "_" 
My_APPGE father_NN1 used_VMK to_TO manage_VVI the_AT JC_NP1 Penney_NP1 in_II Wayne_NP1 ,_, New_NP1 Jersey_NP1 ._. 
"_" It_PPH1 was_VBDZ poofy_JJ and_CC I_PPIS1 had_VHD ringlets_NN2 alongside_II each_DD1 ear_NN1 ._. "_" 
She_PPHS1 sighed_VVD ._. 
"_" Ringlets_NN2 !_! 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 end_VV0 up_RP conceding_VVG ._. 
I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX know_VVI why_RRQ ._. 
I_PPIS1 get_VV0 on_II the_AT phone_NN1 with_IW everyone_PN1 ,_, and_CC when_CS I_PPIS1 hang_VV0 up_RP ,_, I_PPIS1 think_VV0 ,_, Whatever_DDQV ._. 
There_EX are_VBR a_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO whatevers_NN2 ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD to_TO halt_VVI the_AT gloomfest_JJT ._. 
"_" It_PPH1 's_VBZ only_RR my_APPGE wedding_NN1 ,_, "_" I_PPIS1 imitated_VVD in_II a_AT1 morose_JJ voice_NN1 ,_, ever_RR the_AT domineering_JJ eldest_JJT sister_NN1 ._. 
"_" It_PPH1 's_VBZ only_RR a_AT1 once-in-a-lifetime_JJ event_NN1 ._. "_" 
Why_RRQ could_VM n't_XX I_PPIS1 resist_VVI needling_VVG her_PPHO1 ?_? 
Did_VDD I_PPIS1 always_RR have_VHI to_TO revert_VVI to_II being_VBG a_AT1 teen_NN1 ?_? 
"_" I_PPIS1 know_VV0 what_DDQ you_PPY 're_VBR trying_VVG to_TO do_VDI ,_, "_" she_PPHS1 broke_VVD in_RP ._. 
"_" You_PPY 're_VBR using_VVG an_AT1 Eeyore_NN1 voice_NN1 !_! 
I_PPIS1 am_VBM not_XX Eeyore_VV0 !_! "_" 
I_PPIS1 informed_VVD her_PPHO1 that_CST she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ indeed_RR Eeyore_VV0 ,_, and_CC she_PPHS1 did_VDD n't_XX argue_VVI with_IW me_PPIO1 ._. 
Proving_VVG my_APPGE point_NN1 nicely_RR ._. 
I_PPIS1 told_VVD her_PPHO1 the_AT trick_NN1 to_II averting_VVG the_AT typhoon_NN1 of_IO family_NN1 opinion_NN1 was_VBDZ to_TO hold_VVI off_RP making_VVG an_AT1 announcement_NN1 until_CS a_AT1 deed_NN1 was_VBDZ already_RR done_VDN ._. 
When_CS Heather_NP1 found_VVD out_RP she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ pregnant_JJ with_IW her_APPGE second_MD son_NN1 ,_, she_PPHS1 sent_VVD us_PPIO2 all_DB an_AT1 email_NN1 saying_VVG ,_, We_PPIS2 will_VM tell_VVI you_PPY the_AT baby_NN1 's_GE name_NN1 after_CS he_PPHS1 is_VBZ born_VVN ._. 
In_II the_AT meantime_NNT1 ,_, we_PPIS2 are_VBR not_XX accepting_VVG any_DD suggestions_NN2 ._. 
She_PPHS1 was_VBDZ still_RR exhausted_VVN from_II the_AT debate_NN1 around_II her_APPGE first_MD child_NN1 ,_, when_CS names_NN2 would_VM be_VBI glibly_RR rejected_VVN for_IF the_AT barest_JJT of_IO reasons_NN2 ._. 
We_PPIS2 all_DB felt_VVD free_JJ to_TO condemn_VVI any_DD name_NN1 that_CST reminded_VVD us_PPIO2 of_IO a_AT1 classmate_NN1 from_II the_AT fourth_MD grade_NN1 who_PNQS smelled_VVD like_II fried_JJ eggs_NN2 ,_, or_CC a_AT1 co-worker_NN1 who_PNQS always_RR had_VHN crumbs_NN2 lodged_VVN in_II his_APPGE goatee_NN1 and_CC wore_VVN stretched-out_JJ Shaker-knit_JJ sweaters_NN2 ,_, or_CC someone_PN1 's_GE cousin_NN1 who_PNQS was_VBDZ in_II the_AT East_ND1 Jersey_NP1 State_NN1 Prison_NN1 for_IF aggravated_JJ assault_NN1 ._. 
Every_AT1 name_NN1 suggestion_NN1 Heather_NP1 made_VVD was_VBDZ answered_VVN with_IW my_APPGE mother_NN1 's_VBZ Huh_UH ,_, a_AT1 sound_NN1 Heather_NP1 grew_VVD to_TO dread_VVI ._. 
After_CS a_AT1 dozen_NNO group_NN1 disputes_NN2 ,_, Heather_NP1 and_CC her_APPGE husband_NN1 ,_, Rob_NP1 ,_, warily_RR settled_VVN on_II Travis_NP1 ,_, which_DDQ they_PPHS2 secretly_RR suspected_VVN no_PN121 one_PN122 liked_VVD ._. 
(_( "_" Not_XX true_JJ ,_, "_" said_VVD my_APPGE mother_NN1 ,_, reached_VVN at_II home_NN1 in_II New_NP1 Jersey_NP1 ._. )_) 
Why_RRQ do_VD0 we_PPIS2 all_DB allow_VVI this_DD1 boundary-free_JJ judgment_NN1 ?_? 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ become_VVN a_AT1 compulsion_NN1 ,_, one_PN1 that_CST has_VHZ grown_VVN worse_RRR with_IW time_NNT1 so_CS21 that_CS22 we_PPIS2 now_RT offer_VV0 our_APPGE views_NN2 without_IW any_DD solicitation_NN1 whatsoever_DDQV ._. 
Who_PNQS needs_VVZ an_AT1 invitation_NN1 ?_? 
When_CS my_APPGE father_NN1 paid_VVD a_AT1 visit_NN1 to_II Dinah_NP1 's_GE house_NN1 not_XX long_RR ago_RA ,_, he_PPHS1 silently_RR assessed_VVN the_AT surroundings_NN2 ,_, his_APPGE arms_NN2 folded_VVN across_II his_APPGE chest_NN1 ._. 
Having_VHG recently_RR ended_VVN his_APPGE thirty-five_MC years_NNT2 of_IO devoted_JJ service_NN1 to_II Penney_NP1 's_GE ,_, he_PPHS1 had_VHD turned_VVN his_APPGE attentions_NN2 toward_II preparing_VVG his_APPGE loved_JJ ones_NN2 for_IF anything_PN1 that_CST could_VM possibly_RR go_VVI awry_RL ,_, from_II financial_JJ disaster_NN1 to_II termite_NN1 infestation_NN1 to_II scams_NN2 (_( "_" Girls_NN2 ,_, listen_VV0 carefully_RR :_: If_CS someone_PN1 squirts_VVZ ketchup_NN1 or_CC mustard_NN1 on_II you_PPY ,_, you_PPY 're_VBR being_VBG taken_VVN for_IF a_AT1 ride_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 saw_VVD it_PPH1 on_II 20/20_MF "_" )_) ._. 
Dinah_NP1 braced_VVD herself_PPX1 as_CSA my_APPGE father_NN1 finally_RR cleared_VVD his_APPGE throat_NN1 ._. 
"_" You_PPY know_VV0 ,_, "_" he_PPHS1 began_VVD ,_, sounding_VVG regretful_JJ but_CCB firm_JJ ,_, "_" you_PPY really_RR need_VV0 to_TO get_VVI these_DD2 floors_NN2 redone_VV0 ._. "_" 
Dinah_NP1 followed_VVD him_PPHO1 as_CSA he_PPHS1 walked_VVD outside_RL and_CC grimly_RR inspected_VVD the_AT grounds_NN2 ._. 
He_PPHS1 pointed_VVD to_II the_AT side_NN1 of_IO the_AT house_NN1 ._. 
"_" Why_RRQ have_VH0 n't_XX you_PPY power-washed_JJ this_DD1 area_NN1 here_RL ?_? "_" 
"_" Because_CS nobody_PN1 looks_VVZ at_II the_AT side_NN1 of_IO the_AT house_NN1 ._. 
Including_II me_PPIO1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 've_VH0 told_VVN you_PPY ten_MC times_NNT2 that_CST I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX care_VVI ._. "_" 
My_APPGE father_NN1 was_VBDZ n't_XX listening_VVG ,_, because_CS he_PPHS1 had_VHD moved_VVN on_II21 to_II22 the_AT deck_NN1 's_GE support_NN1 system_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ he_PPHS1 deemed_VVD "_" insubstantial_JJ ,_, "_" and_CC then_RT to_II a_AT1 concrete_JJ patch_NN1 near_II the_AT garage_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ was_VBDZ "_" crumbling_VVG ._. "_" 
Before_II long_RR he_PPHS1 had_VHD given_VVN the_AT place_NN1 a_AT1 thorough_JJ evaluation_NN1 and_CC made_VVD it_PPH1 clear_JJ that_CST it_PPH1 was_VBDZ n't_XX up_RP to_TO code_VVI ._. 
His_APPGE code_NN1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 did_VDD everything_PN1 but_CCB write_VV0 up_RP a_AT1 citation_NN1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 just_RR invited_VVD him_PPHO1 over_RP to_TO have_VHI lunch_NN1 ,_, "_" Dinah_NP1 lamented_VVD on_II the_AT phone_NN1 to_II me_PPIO1 that_DD1 night_NNT1 ._. 
Our_APPGE family_NN1 opinionfests_NN2 are_VBR the_AT most_RGT heated_JJ right_NN1 before_II Thanksgiving_NN1 and_CC Christmas_NNT1 ,_, when_CS the_AT holiday_NN1 menus_NN2 are_VBR negotiated_VVN ._. 
The_AT calls_NN2 begin_VV0 in_II late_JJ October_NPM1 and_CC build_VV0 to_II a_AT1 crescendo_NN1 by_II mid-November_NPM1 ._. 
Our_APPGE menu_NN1 follows_VVZ the_AT same_DA template_NN1 every_AT1 year_NNT1 ,_, but_CCB there_EX is_VBZ just_RR enough_DD variation_NN1 --_NN1 a_AT1 new_JJ recipe_NN1 proposal_NN1 here_RL ,_, a_AT1 side-order_JJ addition_NN1 there_RL --_JJ that_CST we_PPIS2 all_DB feel_VV0 we_PPIS2 must_VM frantically_RR get_VVI our_APPGE bids_NN2 in_RP ,_, hollering_VVG as_CS21 if_CS22 we_PPIS2 're_VBR on_II the_AT stock_NN1 market_NN1 floor_NN1 ._. 
As_CSA Heather_NP1 put_VVD it_PPH1 with_IW her_APPGE usual_JJ calm_NN1 ,_, "_" If_CS somebody_PN1 made_VVD menu_NN1 choices_NN2 without_IW a_AT1 group_NN1 consultation_NN1 ,_, it_PPH1 would_VM be_VBI devastating_JJ ._. "_" 
Three_MC years_NNT2 ago_RA ,_, when_CS it_PPH1 became_VVD clear_JJ that_CST the_AT Magna_NN121 Carta_NN122 was_VBDZ drafted_VVN with_IW less_DAR effort_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 announced_VVD a_AT1 streamlined_JJ new_JJ system_NN1 :_: We_PPIS2 three_MC siblings_NN2 would_VM hash_VVI out_RP the_AT details_NN2 in_II a_AT1 conference_NN1 call_NN1 and_CC report_VV0 them_PPHO2 to_II the_AT folks_NN2 ._. 
All_DB cautiously_RR agreed_VVN ._. 
This_DD1 year_NNT1 's_GE call_NN1 clocked_VVD in_RP at_II two_MC hours_NNT2 and_CC twenty_MC minutes_NNT2 ._. 
It_PPH1 would_VM have_VHI gone_VVN longer_JJR but_CCB Heather_NP1 's_GE portable_JJ phone_NN1 began_VVD to_TO die_VVI ._. 
"_" Why_RRQ are_VBR we_PPIS2 doing_VDG this_DD1 ?_? "_" 
Dinah_NP1 complained_VVD ._. 
"_" Thanksgiving_NN1 is_VBZ always_RR the_AT same_DA damn_JJ thing_NN1 ._. "_" 
"_" Do_VD0 you_PPY want_VVI Heather_NP1 and_CC me_PPIO1 to_TO do_VDI this_DD1 then_RT ?_? "_" 
I_PPIS1 asked_VVD crisply_RR ._. 
Order_NN1 had_VHD to_TO be_VBI maintained_VVN ._. 
Then_RT Dinah_NP1 threw_VVD a_AT1 bomb_NN1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 made_VVD an_AT1 executive_NN1 decision_NN1 without_IW telling_VVG anybody_PN1 ,_, "_" she_PPHS1 began_VVD ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 bought_VVD the_AT gravy_NN1 ._. "_" 
Silence_NN1 from_II Heather_NP1 and_CC me_PPIO1 ._. 
"_" Why_RRQ did_VDD you_PPY not_XX clear_VVI it_PPH1 ?_? "_" 
Heather_NP1 said_VVD finally_RR ._. 
"_" Because_CS the_AT gravy_NN1 is_VBZ fancier_JJR than_CSN what_DDQ we_PPIS2 normally_RR buy_VV0 ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ from_II Whole_JJ Foods_NN2 rather_II21 than_II22 the_AT crap_NN1 that_CST Dad_NN1 buys_VVZ from_II ShopRite_NN1 ._. "_" 
Tempted_VVN by_II the_AT word_NN1 fancier_NN1 ,_, we_PPIS2 assented_VVD and_CC moved_VVD on_RP to_II stuffing_NN1 ._. 
There_EX were_VBDR eight_MC adults_NN2 at_II our_APPGE Thanksgiving_NN1 table_NN1 ,_, but_CCB no_PN121 one_PN122 could_VM agree_VVI on_II flavors_NN2 ,_, so_CS we_PPIS2 had_VHD three_MC varieties_NN2 :_: traditional_JJ bread_NN1 ,_, corn-bread_NN1 ,_, and_CC a_AT1 wild_JJ card_NN1 ._. 
"_" Patrick_NP1 wants_VVZ to_TO make_VVI wild-mushroom_JJ and_CC chestnut_NN1 ,_, "_" Dinah_NP1 ventured_VVD ._. 
I_PPIS1 snorted_VVD ._. 
Dinah_NP1 's_GE meat-loving_JJ husband_NN1 would_VM never_RR make_VVI anything_PN1 vegetarian_JJ ._. 
"_" Please_RR ,_, "_" I_PPIS1 said_VVD ._. 
"_" Last_MD year_NNT1 he_PPHS1 made_VVD triple-sausage_JJ stuffing_NN1 with_IW sausage_NN1 sauce_NN1 ,_, made_VVN from_II a_AT1 whole_JJ barnyard_NN1 of_IO different_JJ animals_NN2 ._. 
There_EX were_VBDR maybe_RR two_MC shreds_NN2 of_IO bread_NN1 in_II the_AT whole_JJ thing_NN1 ._. "_" 
"_" It_PPH1 was_VBDZ not_XX an_AT1 entire_JJ meat_NN1 stuffing_NN1 ,_, "_" said_VVD Dinah_NP1 indignantly_RR ._. 
"_" It_PPH1 was_VBDZ n't_XX a_AT1 turducken_NN1 ._. "_" 
After_II ten_MC minutes_NNT2 we_PPIS2 were_VBDR still_RR deadlocked_VVN ._. 
"_" Maybe_RR we_PPIS2 should_VM bring_VVI a_AT1 custom_NN1 stuffing_NN1 blend_NN1 for_IF each_DD1 person_NN1 ,_, "_" said_VVD Heather_NP1 in_II exasperation_NN1 ._. 
Finally_RR we_PPIS2 agreed_VVD on_II mushroom_NN1 with_IW a_AT1 light_JJ dose_NN1 of_IO spicy_JJ turkey_NN1 sausage_NN1 ._. 
Next_MD we_PPIS2 tackled_VVD the_AT one_MC1 lonely_JJ green_JJ vegetable_NN1 we_PPIS2 would_VM feature_VVI ._. 
I_PPIS1 proposed_VVD a_AT1 new_JJ recipe_NN1 of_IO raw_JJ shaved_VVD Brussels_NP1 sprouts_NN2 with_IW a_AT1 vinaigrette_NN1 and_CC Manchego_NP1 cheese_NN1 I_PPIS1 had_VHD seen_VVN in_II a_AT1 magazine_NN1 ._. 
The_AT girls_NN2 enthusiastically_RR agreed_VVN ,_, murmuring_VVG that_CST something_PN1 fresh_JJ and_CC healthy_JJ would_VM offset_VVI the_AT heaviness_NN1 of_IO everything_PN1 else_RR ._. 
Then_RT doubt_VV0 set_VV0 in_RP ._. 
"_" It_PPH1 does_VDZ n't_XX seem_VVI like_CS there_EX 's_VBZ much_DA1 cheese_NN1 ,_, "_" Heather_NP1 pointed_VVD out_RP ._. 
"_" No_AT buttered-crumb_JJ topping_NN1 ?_? 
Maybe_RR we_PPIS2 should_VM have_VHI creamed_VVN spinach_NN1 instead_RR ._. "_" 
"_" With_IW lots_PN of_IO cream_NN1 and_CC cheese_NN1 ,_, "_" added_VVD Dinah_NP1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 want_VV0 that_DD1 spinach_NN1 to_TO barely_RR be_VBI green_JJ ._. 
More_RRR like_II a_AT1 spinach_NN1 smoothie_NN1 ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 sighed_VVD ._. 
Done_VDN ._. 
Twenty_MC more_DAR minutes_NNT2 were_VBDR devoted_JJ to_II potatoes_NN2 (_( mashed_JJ and_CC sweet_JJ )_) ,_, rolls_NN2 (_( fresh-made_NN1 and_CC canned_JJ crescent_NN1 rolls_NN2 ,_, which_DDQ my_APPGE father_NN1 always_RR bought_VVN as_II a_AT1 backup_NN1 and_CC then_RT somehow_RR they_PPHS2 ,_, too_RR ,_, would_VM make_VVI it_PPH1 to_II the_AT table_NN1 ,_, so_CS21 that_CS22 each_DD1 person_NN1 ended_VVD up_RP with_IW a_AT1 pile_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 half-dozen_NNO rolls_NN2 )_) ._. 
We_PPIS2 voted_VVD on_II our_APPGE usual_JJ three_MC pies_NN2 --_JJ chocolate_NN1 ,_, pecan_NN1 ,_, and_CC pumpkin_NN1 ._. 
Then_RT Dinah_NP1 pointed_VVD out_RP that_CST my_APPGE normally_RR recalcitrant_JJ husband_NN1 once_RR agitated_VVN for_IF apple_NN1 pie_NN1 ._. 
"_" How_RRQ come_VVN he_PPHS1 never_RR gets_VVZ what_DDQ he_PPHS1 wants_VVZ ?_? "_" she_PPHS1 said_VVD ._. 
"_" We_PPIS2 have_VH0 three_MC ._. 
Who_PNQS cares_VVZ if_CS there_EX 's_VBZ another_DD1 ?_? "_" 
"_" It_PPH1 's_VBZ a_RR21 little_RR22 obscene_JJ ,_, "_" said_VVD Heather_NP1 ._. 
"_" Four_MC desserts_NN2 for_IF eight_MC people_NN ?_? 
That_DD1 's_VBZ half_DB a_AT1 pie_NN1 for_IF each_DD1 of_IO us_PPIO2 ._. "_" 
"_" I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX get_VVI it_PPH1 ,_, "_" Dinah_NP1 countered_VVD ._. 
"_" If_CS you_PPY wanted_VVD to_TO make_VVI an_AT1 apple_NN1 pie_NN1 for_IF Tom_NP1 ,_, I_PPIS1 would_VM n't_XX care_VVI ._. 
Who_PNQS cares_VVZ ?_? "_" 
"_" Because_CS it_PPH1 's_VBZ not_XX the_AT way_NN1 we_PPIS2 do_VD0 it_PPH1 ,_, "_" Heather_NP1 returned_VVD calmly_RR ._. 
"_" Our_APPGE Thanksgiving_NN1 would_VM be_VBI ruined_VVN if_CS there_EX were_VBDR fruit_NN pies_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ not_XX appropriate_JJ ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ not_XX ..._... "_" 
She_PPHS1 searched_VVD for_IF the_AT right_JJ word_NN1 ._. 
"_" ..._... autumnal_JJ ._. "_" 
"_" Apples_NN2 are_VBR n't_XX autumnal_JJ ?_? "_" 
The_AT proceeding_NN1 started_VVD out_RP deceptively_RR easily_RR when_CS we_PPIS2 reached_VVD a_AT1 speedy_JJ consensus_NN1 on_II the_AT wedding_NN1 's_GE location_NN1 :_: Sanibel_NP1 Island_NNL1 ,_, Florida_NP1 ,_, a_AT1 sentimental_JJ vacation_NN1 spot_NN1 for_IF both_DB2 of_IO our_APPGE families_NN2 and_CC the_AT site_NN1 of_IO Tom_NP1 's_GE recent_JJ proposal_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD been_VBN going_VVG there_RL for_IF twenty-five_MC years_NNT2 ,_, and_CC it_PPH1 remained_VVD the_AT most_RGT delightfully_RR corny_JJ ,_, wholesome_JJ place_NN1 ,_, with_IW restaurant_NN1 names_NN2 like_II the_AT Hungry_JJ Heron_NN and_CC the_AT Lazy_JJ Flamingo_NN1 and_CC retro_JJ stores_NN2 with_IW titles_NN2 such_II21 as_II22 She_PPHS1 Sells_VVZ Sea_NN1 Shells_NN2 and_CC Three_MC Crafty_JJ Ladies_NN2 ._. 
