HOW_RRQ I_PPIS1 BECAME_VVD A_AT1 FAMOUS_JJ NOVELIST_NN1 In_II strewn_VVN banners_NN2 that_CST lay_VVD like_II streamers_NN2 from_II a_AT1 longago_NN1 parade_NN1 the_AT sun_NN1 's_VBZ fading_VVG seraphim_NN2 rays_NN2 gleamed_VVD onto_II the_AT hood_NN1 of_IO the_AT old_JJ Ford_NP1 and_CC ribboned_JJ the_AT steel_NN1 with_IW the_AT meek_JJ orange_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 June_NP1 tomato_NN1 straining_VVG at_II the_AT vine_NN1 ._. 
From_II the_AT back_NN1 seat_NN1 ,_, door_NN1 open_VV0 ,_, her_APPGE nimble_JJ fingers_NN2 moved_VVN along_II the_AT guitar_NN1 like_II a_AT1 weaver_55 's_VBZ on_II a_AT1 loom_NN1 ._. 
Stitching_VVG a_AT1 song_NN1 ._. 
The_AT cloth_NN1 she_PPHS1 made_VVD was_VBDZ a_AT1 cry_NN1 of_IO aching_JJ American_JJ chords_NN2 ,_, dreamlike_JJ warbles_NN2 built_VVN to_TO travel_VVI miles_NNU2 of_IO lonesome_JJ road_NN1 ._. 
They_PPHS2 faded_VVD into_II the_AT twilight_NN1 ,_, and_CC Silas_NP1 leaned_VVD back_RP on_II the_AT asphalt_NN1 ,_, as_CS21 if_CS22 to_TO watch_VVI them_PPHO2 drift_VV0 into_II the_AT Arkansas_NP1 mist_NN1 ._. 
Away_II21 from_II22 them_PPHO2 ,_, across_II the_AT field_NN1 of_IO low-cut_JJ durum_NN1 wheat_NN1 ,_, they_PPHS2 saw_VVD Evangeline_NP1 's_GE frame_NN1 ,_, outlined_VVD pale_JJ in_II shadow_NN1 against_II the_AT highway_NN1 sky_NN1 ,_, as_CSA it_PPH1 trembled_VVD ._. 
That_DD1 's_VBZ the_AT way_NN1 it_PPH1 is_VBZ with_IW a_AT1 song_NN1 ,_, is_VBZ n't_XX it_PPH1 ?_? she_PPHS1 said_VVD ._. 
The_AT way_NN1 it_PPH1 quivers_VVZ in_II your_APPGE heart_NN1 ._. 
Quivers_NN2 like_II the_AT wing_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 little_JJ bird_NN1 ._. 
In_II a_AT1 story_NN1 too_RR ._. 
He_PPHS1 spoke_VVD it_PPH1 softly_RR in_II a_AT1 voice_NN1 that_CST let_VV0 her_PPHO1 hear_VVI how_RRQ close_VV0 they_PPHS2 were_VBDR ._. 
That_DD1 's_VBZ the_AT way_NN1 it_PPH1 is_VBZ with_IW a_AT1 story_NN1 ._. 
Turns_VVZ your_APPGE heart_NN1 into_II a_AT1 bird._NNU -from_II The_AT Tornado_NN1 Ashes_NN2 Club_NN1 ,_, by_II Pete_NP1 Tarslaw_NP1 (_( me_PPIO1 )_) You_PPY have_VH0 to_TO understand_VVI how_RGQ bad_JJ things_NN2 were_VBDR for_IF me_PPIO1 back_RP then_RT ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM leave_VVI my_APPGE radio_NN1 alarm_NN1 set_VVN to_II full_JJ volume_NN1 at_II the_AT far_JJ end_NN1 of_IO the_AT AM_RA dial_VV0 ,_, so_RR every_AT1 morning_NNT1 at_II seven-thirty_MC I_PPIS1 'd_VM wake_VVI up_RP to_II staticmixed_JJ with_IW a_AT1 rabid_JJ minister_NN1 screeching_VVG in_II Haitian_JJ Creole_JJ ,_, because_CS for_IF sheer_JJ bracing_JJ power_NN1 that_CST sound_NN1 can_VM not_XX be_VBI bested_VVN ._. 
When_CS the_AT alarm_NN1 went_VVD off_RP I_PPIS1 'd_VM have_VHI no_AT choice_NN1 but_CS to_TO eject_VVI myself_PPX1 from_II my_APPGE bed_NN1 ,_, panting_VVG ,_, infuriated_VVD ,_, flailing_VVG everywhere_RL ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM have_VHI to_TO pee_VVI really_RR bad_JJ ._. 
There_EX 'd_VM be_VBI either_RR one_MC1 or_CC two_MC beer_NN1 bottles_NN2 filled_VVN with_IW urine_NN1 next_II21 to_II22 my_APPGE bed_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 used_VMK to_TO drink_VVI five_MC or_CC six_MC beers_NN2 before_II going_VVG to_TO sleep_VVI ,_, but_CCB I_PPIS1 'm_VBM much_RR too_RG lazy_JJ to_TO get_VVI up_RP in_II the_AT night_NNT1 to_TO go_VVI to_II the_AT bathroom_NN1 ._. 
My_APPGE roommate_NN1 Hobart_NP1 ,_, who_PNQS was_VBDZ a_AT1 med_JJ student_NN1 ,_, only_RR once_RR brought_VVN up_RP the_AT public_JJ health_NN1 implications_NN2 of_IO this_DD1 arrangement_NN1 ._. 
My_APPGE feeling_NN1 was_VBDZ ,_, if_CS he_PPHS1 wanted_VVD to_TO do_VDI something_PN1 about_II it_PPH1 ,_, terrific_JJ ._. 
Sometimes_RT I_PPIS1 'd_VM wake_VVI up_RP wearing_VVG my_APPGE jeans_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 wore_VVD jeans_NN2 daily_RR because_CS jeans_NN2 can_VM double_VVI as_II a_AT1 napkin_NN1 ,_, and_CC sometimes_RT I_PPIS1 fell_VVD asleep_JJ without_IW bothering_VVG to_TO take_VVI them_PPHO2 off_RP ._. 
So_RR ,_, often_RR when_CS I_PPIS1 woke_VVD up_RP I_PPIS1 'd_VM be_VBI covered_VVN in_II a_AT1 film_NN1 of_IO sick_JJ feverish_JJ sweat_NN1 ._. 
This_DD1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 blessing_NN1 in_II a_AT1 way_NN1 ,_, because_CS it_PPH1 forced_VVD me_PPIO1 to_TO take_VVI a_AT1 daily_JJ shower_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ otherwise_RR I_PPIS1 might_VM 've_VHI done_VDN without_IW ._. 
Walking_VVG into_II the_AT kitchen_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 'd_VM shove_VVI my_APPGE hand_NN1 into_II a_AT1 crumpled_JJ bag_NN1 of_IO kettle-cooked_JJ sour_JJ cream_NN1 and_CC chives_VVZ potato_NN1 chips_NN2 ._. 
Two_MC fistfuls_NN2 made_VVD breakfast_NN1 ._. 
This_DD1 seemed_VVD only_RR a_AT1 few_DA2 steps_NN2 removed_VVN from_II a_AT1 healthy_JJ plate_NN1 of_IO hash_NN1 browns_NN2 like_II a_AT1 farmer_NN1 eats_VVZ ._. 
Next_MD I_PPIS1 'd_VM open_VVI a_AT1 20_MC oz_NNU ._. 
Mountain_NN1 Dew_NN1 ._. 
Coffee-making_NN1 is_VBZ a_AT1 process_NN1 for_IF which_DDQ I_PPIS1 'd_VHD had_VHN no_AT patience_NN1 ever_RR since_CS one_MC1 time_NNT1 when_RRQ we_PPIS2 ran_VVD out_II21 of_II22 filters_NN2 and_CC I_PPIS1 thought_VVD I_PPIS1 could_VM use_VVI an_AT1 old_JJ shirt_NN1 ._. 
You_PPY ca_VM n't_XX use_VVI an_AT1 old_JJ shirt_NN1 ._. 
Bad_JJ results_NN2 for_IF floor_NN1 ,_, coffee_NN1 ,_, shirt_NN1 ,_, and_CC the_AT jeans_NN2 I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ wearing_VVG at_II the_AT time_NNT1 ._. 
This_DD1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 good_JJ system_NN1 anyway_RR because_CS it_PPH1 involved_VVD no_AT dishes_NN2 ._. 
In_II the_AT novel_JJ Cockroaches_NN2 Convene_VV0 ,_, there_EX 's_VBZ that_DD1 great_JJ scene_NN1 where_CS Proudfoot_NP1 puts_VVZ his_APPGE dirty_JJ dishes_NN2 in_II the_AT back_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 pickup_NN1 truck_NN1 and_CC drives_VVZ through_II a_AT1 car_NN1 wash_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT I_PPIS1 wished_VVD I_PPIS1 had_VHD a_AT1 pickup_NN1 truck_NN1 so_CS I_PPIS1 could_VM do_VDI that_DD1 ._. 
The_AT Mountain_NN1 Dew_NN1 acquired_VVD an_AT1 extra_JJ kick_NN1 because_CS I_PPIS1 'd_VM multitask_VVI by_II drinking_VVG it_PPH1 in_II the_AT shower_NN1 ._. 
Traces_NN2 of_IO soap_NN1 and_CC Herbal_JJ Essences_NN2 would_VM get_VVI into_II the_AT bottle_NN1 ._. 
This_DD1 is_VBZ called_VVN "_" bonus_NN1 spice_NN1 ._. "_" 
After_II dressing_VVG I_PPIS1 'd_VM get_VVI in_II my_APPGE Camry_NP1 ,_, with_IW which_DDQ I_PPIS1 had_VHD an_AT1 abusive_JJ and_CC codependent_JJ relationship_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM pull_VVI out_II21 of_II22 the_AT driveway_NN1 ,_, bashing_VVG up_RP the_AT fender_NN1 a_RR21 little_RR22 on_II the_AT wooden_JJ beams_NN2 that_CST held_VVD up_RP the_AT garage_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 deserved_VVD that_DD1 ._. 
But_CCB the_AT car_NN1 knew_VVD I_PPIS1 really_RR loved_VVD it_PPH1 ._. 
In_II the_AT car_NN1 I_PPIS1 'd_VM listen_VVI to_II Donnie_NP1 Vebber_NP1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 's_VBZ this_DD1 borderline_NN1 fascist_JJ talk_NN1 radio_NN1 host_NN1 who_PNQS advocates_NN2 ,_, among_II other_JJ things_NN2 ,_, rounding_VVG up_RP illegal_JJ immigrants_NN2 and_CC then_RT deporting_VVG them_PPHO2 to_II Iran_NP1 and_CC we_PPIS2 'll_VM see_VVI how_RRQ the_AT Islamopigs_NN2 like_II it_PPH1 when_CS they_PPHS2 're_VBR selling_VVG their_APPGE burritos_NN2 and_CC pushing_VVG their_APPGE twelve_MC kids_NN2 in_II shopping_NN1 carts_NN2 around_II the_AT streets_NN2 of_IO Tehran_NP1 ._. 
Another_DD1 plan_NN1 of_IO his_PPGE is_VBZ a_AT1 nuclear_JJ first_MD strike_NN1 against_II China_NP1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX agree_VVI with_IW this_DD1 ,_, I_PPIS1 should_VM point_VVI out_RP ._. 
I_PPIS1 listened_VVD to_II Donnie_NP1 Vebber_NP1 in_II the_AT hopes_NN2 that_CST he_PPHS1 'd_VM rouse_VVI some_DD scintilla_NN1 of_IO emotion_NN1 or_CC outrage_NN1 in_II me_PPIO1 ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 numbed_VVD to_II it_PPH1 fast_RR ._. 
Then_RT and_CC now_RT I_PPIS1 thought_VVD about_II politics_NN1 with_IW the_AT indifference_NN1 a_AT1 grizzled_JJ city_NN1 coroner_NN1 has_VHZ toward_II the_AT body_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 murdered_JJ prostitute_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM drive_VVI south_ND1 out_II21 of_II22 Boston_NP1 down_II I-93_FO ,_, past_II those_DD2 oil_NN1 tanks_NN2 by_II the_AT harbor_NN1 ,_, until_CS I_PPIS1 got_VVD to_II the_AT place_NN1 where_RRQ all_DB the_AT clams_NN2 and_CC mussels_NN2 were_VBDR dying_VVG of_IO unknown_JJ bacterial_JJ wasting_JJ disease_NN1 ._. 
The_AT tidal_JJ marshes_NN2 gave_VVD off_RP a_AT1 car-permeating_JJ stink_NN1 ._. 
Then_RT I_PPIS1 'd_VM follow_VVI Old_NP1 Town_NN1 Road_NNL1 past_II St._NP1 Agnes_NP1 High_JJ ,_, where_CS I_PPIS1 'd_VM wait_VVI in_II31 front_II32 of_II33 the_AT rectory_NN1 and_CC watch_VV0 the_AT half-Asian_JJ girl_NN1 with_IW the_AT monstrous_JJ rack_NN1 and_CC her_APPGE friend_NN1 Sad-Eyes_NN2 as_CSA they_PPHS2 pulled_VVD cigarettes_NN2 out_II21 of_II22 improbable_JJ folds_NN2 in_II their_APPGE uniforms_NN2 ._. 
They_PPHS2 'd_VM smoke_VVI and_CC I_PPIS1 'd_VM switch_VVI the_AT radio_NN1 to_II classic_JJ rock_NN1 ,_, except_CS in_II November_NPM1 through_II January_NPM1 when_RRQ the_AT classic_JJ rock_NN1 station_NN1 turned_VVD to_II all-Christmas_JJ songs_NN2 ._. 
On_II Tuesdays_NPD2 the_AT girls_NN2 had_VHD chapel_NN1 or_CC something_PN1 so_RR I_PPIS1 'd_VM just_RR go_VVI straight_RR to_TO work_VVI ._. 
The_AT Alexander_NP1 Hamilton_NP1 Building_NN1 had_VHD little_RR in_II31 common_II32 with_II33 its_APPGE namesake_NN1 ,_, unless_CS he_PPHS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 brick_NN1 man_NN1 who_PNQS squatted_VVD next_II21 to_II22 a_AT1 bog_NN1 ._. 
Hamilton_NP1 was_VBDZ at_II one_MC1 end_NN1 of_IO Founders_NN2 Office_NN1 Park_NN1 ,_, where_CS in_II buildings_NN2 named_VVN after_II Washington_NP1 and_CC Jefferson_NP1 people_NN managed_VVD mail-order_NN1 sporting_NN1 goods_NN2 businesses_NN2 ,_, investigated_VVD insurance_NN1 fraud_NN1 ,_, planned_VVD trips_NN2 to_II Maui_NP1 and_RR31 so_RR32 forth_RR33 ._. 
In_II the_AT lobby_NN1 of_IO the_AT Hamilton_NP1 Building_NN1 there_EX was_VBDZ a_AT1 koi_NN2 pond_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 loved_VVD the_AT koi_NN2 pond_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ jealous_JJ of_IO those_DD2 fish_NN ._. 
Fat_NN1 ,_, lumpy_JJ ,_, blissful_JJ ._. 
Their_APPGE time_NNT1 was_VBDZ theirs_PPGE ,_, to_TO do_VDI as_CSA they_PPHS2 wished_VVD :_: open_VV0 and_CC close_VV0 their_APPGE mouths_NN2 ,_, float_VV0 ,_, suck_VV0 the_AT algae_NN2 off_II rocks_NN2 ._. 
Perhaps_RR I_PPIS1 would_VM have_VHI used_VVN my_APPGE freedom_NN1 differently_RR ._. 
But_CCB the_AT koi_NN2 were_VBDR living_VVG much_RR the_AT way_NN1 I_PPIS1 wished_VVD to_TO ._. 
Exiting_VVG the_AT elevator_NN1 on_II the_AT third_MD floor_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 would_VM pass_VVI Lisa_NP1 at_II her_APPGE desk_NN1 ._. 
She_PPHS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 mountainous_JJ black_JJ woman_NN1 who_PNQS served_VVD as_CSA receptionist_NN1 for_IF a_AT1 team_NN1 of_IO small-claims_NN2 lawyers_NN2 ._. 
At_RR21 first_RR22 I_PPIS1 thought_VVD she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 cheery_JJ ,_, lovely_JJ presence_NN1 ._. 
On_II31 account_II32 of_II33 my_APPGE undernourished_JJ physique_NN1 ,_, she_PPHS1 frequently_RR offered_VVN to_TO take_VVI me_PPIO1 home_RL and_CC "_" put_VV0 some_DD meat_NN1 on_II those_DD2 bones_NN2 ._. "_" 
This_DD1 seemed_VVD cute_JJ and_CC charming_JJ ,_, and_CC I_PPIS1 'd_VM grin_VVI and_CC say_VVI "_" any_DD time_NNT1 !_! "_" 
But_CCB then_RT she_PPHS1 started_VVD adding_VVG that_CST when_CS she_PPHS1 got_VVD me_PPIO1 home_RL she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ also_RR going_VVGK to_TO give_VVI me_PPIO1 a_AT1 bath_NN1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 'll_VM scrub_VVI you_PPY good_JJ ._. 
Scrub_VV0 that_DD1 dirt_NN1 out_II21 of_II22 your_APPGE hair_NN1 ._. "_" 
There_EX were_VBDR more_RGR and_CC more_DAR details_NN2 about_II the_AT bath_NN1 each_DD1 time-which_DDQ parts_NN2 of_IO me_PPIO1 she_PPHS1 was_VBDZ going_VVGK to_TO wash_VVI ,_, and_CC how_RRQ ,_, and_CC with_IW what_DDQ kind_NN1 of_IO soap_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 took_VVD to_II scurrying_VVG past_RL while_CS pretending_VVG to_TO read_VVI the_AT newspaper_NN1 ._. 
Thinking_VVG back_RP on_II it_PPH1 now_RT ,_, this_DD1 is_VBZ about_II the_AT only_JJ affectionate_JJ human_JJ contact_NN1 I_PPIS1 had_VHD around_II this_DD1 time_NNT1 ,_, and_CC I_PPIS1 guess_VV0 I_PPIS1 really_RR appreciated_VVD it_PPH1 ._. 
On_II this_DD1 particular_JJ day_NNT1 ,_, Lisa_NP1 was_VBDZ on_II the_AT phone_NN1 ,_, but_CCB she_PPHS1 stared_VVD at_II me_PPIO1 and_CC made_VVD a_AT1 vigorous_JJ scrubbing_JJ motion_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 hurried_VVD along_RP ,_, eyes_NN2 on_II the_AT rug_NN1 ._. 
This_DD1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 Friday_NPD1 ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ n't_XX going_VVGK to_TO be_VBI too_RG bad_JJ ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ carrying_VVG Hobart_NP1 's_GE copy_NN1 of_IO last_MD Sunday_NPD1 's_GE New_NP1 York_NP1 Times_NNT2 ,_, and_CC there_EX 'd_VM be_VBI ample_JJ time_NNT1 for_IF going_VVG on_II the_AT Internet_NN1 ,_, looking_VVG at_II pictures_NN2 of_IO pandas_NN2 ,_, YouTubes_NN2 of_IO Danish_JJ girls_NN2 singing_VVG karaoke_NN1 ,_, cats_NN2 on_II record_NN1 players_NN2 ,_, kids_NN2 in_II Indiana_NP1 launching_VVG themselves_PPX2 from_II homemade_JJ catapults_NN2 ._. 
(_( Remember_VV0 ,_, this_DD1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 few_DA2 years_NNT2 ago-the_AT Internet_NN1 was_VBDZ much_RR less_RGR sophisticated_JJ ._. )_) 
My_APPGE only_JJ assignment_NN1 was_VBDZ Mr._NNB Hoshi_NP1 Tanaka_NP1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD to_TO write_VVI him_PPHO1 a_AT1 business_NN1 school_NN1 essay_NN1 ._. 
The_AT company_NN1 I_PPIS1 worked_VVD for_IF was_VBDZ called_VVN EssayAides_NN2 ._. 
On_II its_APPGE sleek_JJ brochures_NN2 ,_, EssayAides_NP1 stated_VVD their_APPGE goal_NN1 of_IO "_" connecting_JJ minds_NN2 and_CC expanding_JJ educational_JJ opportunities_NN2 around_II the_AT globe_NN1 ._. 
Our_APPGE 200+_FO associates_NN2 ,_, trained_VVN at_II the_AT finest_JJT American_JJ colleges_NN2 and_CC universities_NN2 ,_, provide_VV0 the_AT highest_JJT level_NN1 of_IO admissions_NN2 consulting_VVG ._. "_" 
What_DDQ that_DD1 meant_VVD "_" on_II the_AT ground_NN1 ,_, "_" as_CSA Jon_NP1 Sturges_NP2 was_VBDZ fond_JJ of_IO saying_VVG ,_, was_VBDZ that_CST a_AT1 wealthy_JJ kid_NN1 would_VM send_VVI us_PPIO2 some_DD gibberish_JJ words_NN2 ._. 
We_PPIS2 'd_VM turn_VVI those_DD2 into_II a_AT1 polished_JJ application_NN1 essay_NN1 for_IF college_NN1 or_CC grad_NN1 school_NN1 ._. 
This_DD1 raises_VVZ ethical_JJ issues_NN2 ,_, if_CS you_PPY care_VV0 to_TO bother_VVI yourself_PPX1 with_IW them_PPHO2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VHD worked_VVN at_II the_AT company_NN1 for_IF three_MC years_NNT2 ._. 
It_PPH1 's_VBZ not_XX my_APPGE fault_NN1 the_AT world_NN1 is_VBZ a_AT1 nexus_NN1 of_IO corrupt_JJ arrangements_NN2 through_II which_DDQ the_AT privileged_JJ channel_NN1 power_NN1 and_CC resources_NN2 in_II complex_NN1 ,_, self-serving_JJ loops_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 needed_VVD to_TO pay_VVI for_IF Mountain_NN1 Dew_NN1 ._. 
Many_DA2 of_IO the_AT clients_NN2 were_VBDR rich_JJ American_JJ kids_NN2 ._. 
They_PPHS2 'd_VM be_VBI applying_VVG to_II Middlebury_NP1 or_CC Pomona_NP1 or_CC wherever_RRQV ,_, and_CC they_PPHS2 'd_VM send_VVI you_PPY something_PN1 about_II how_RRQ Anchorman_NP1 or_CC the_AT golf_NN1 team_NN1 had_VHD changed_VVN their_APPGE lives_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'd_VM polish_VVI it_PPH1 up_RP ,_, change_VV0 Will_NP1 Ferrell_NP1 to_II Toni_NP1 Morrison_NP1 ,_, and_CC golf_NN1 to_II learning_VVG woodworking_NN1 from_II a_AT1 Darfur_NN1 refugee_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX not_XX feel_VVI bad_JJ about_II this_DD1 ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 took_VVD pride_NN1 in_II my_APPGE work_NN1 ._. 
Sometimes_RT we_PPIS2 'd_VM get_VVI some_DD work_NN1 from_II a_AT1 current_JJ college_NN1 student_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 got_VVD one_PN1 unspeakably_RR dumb_JJ sophomore_NN1 at_II Trinity_NP1 an_AT1 A-_ZZ1 in_II "_" Post-Modern_JJ Novel_NN1 "_" with_IW a_AT1 series_NN of_IO essays_NN2 of_IO which_DDQ he_PPHS1 should_VM be_VBI quite_RG proud_JJ ,_, if_CS he_PPHS1 ever_RR reads_VVZ them_PPHO2 ._. 
Soon_RR Jon_NP1 Sturges_NP2 ,_, the_AT entrepreneur_NN1 behind_II all_DB this_DD1 ,_, knew_VVD I_PPIS1 had_VHD a_AT1 gift_NN1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 promoted_VVD me_PPIO1 to_II Senior_JJ Associate_NN1 ._. 
Here_RL I_PPIS1 learned_VVD that_CST the_AT real_JJ money_NN1 was_VBDZ coming_VVG in_RP from_II Asia_NP1 ,_, where_CS aspiring_JJ applicants_NN2 would_VM pay_VVI more_DAR and_CC never_RR raise_VVI the_AT tiresome_JJ questions_NN2 about_II "_" accuracy_NN1 ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 wrote_VVD the_AT toughest_JJT essays_NN2 myself_PPX1 and_CC farmed_VVD out_RP the_AT rest_NN1 of_IO the_AT work_NN1 to_II part-timers_NN2 among_II the_AT starving_JJ and_CC overeducated_VVD ._. 
EssayAides_NN2 had_VHD only_RR one_MC1 other_JJ full-time_JJ employee_NN1 ._. 
As_CSA I_PPIS1 sat_VVD down_RP at_II my_APPGE computer_NN1 ,_, she_PPHS1 stood_VVD in_II my_APPGE doorway_NN1 ._. 
"_" Hey_UH ._. "_" 
Alice_NP1 could_VM n't_XX have_VHI weighed_VVN more_DAR than_CSN ninety_MC pounds_NN2 ._. 
Her_APPGE voice_NN1 should_VM have_VHI sounded_VVN squeaky_JJ like_II a_AT1 cartoon_NN1 mouse_NN1 ._. 
Instead_RR it_PPH1 was_VBDZ disturbingly_RR deep_JJ ._. 
She_PPHS1 stood_VVD there_RL for_IF a_AT1 really_RR long_JJ time_NNT1 ._. 
"_" What_DDQ 're_VBR you_PPY doing_VDG ?_? "_" 
"_" A_AT1 Japanese_JJ guy_NN1 applying_VVG to_II Wharton_NP1 ._. 
You_PPY ?_? "_" 
"_" Just_RR going_VVG over_RP some_DD things_NN2 I_PPIS1 farmed_VVD out_RP ._. 
A_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO my_APPGE team_NN1 's_VHZ been_VBN making_VVG them_PPHO2 too_RG smart_JJ ._. 
I_PPIS1 had_VHD an_AT1 essay_NN1 for_IF Colorado_NP1 College_NN1 that_CST I_PPIS1 sent_VVD to_II one_MC1 of_IO those_DD2 Palo_NP1 Alto_NP1 guys_NN2 ,_, and_CC he_PPHS1 put_VVD in_II two_MC quotes_NN2 from_II Walter_NP1 Benjamin_NP1 ._. "_" 
"_" Yikes_NN2 ._. 
Got_VVN ta_TO cut_VVI that_DD1 out_RP ._. "_" 
Jon_NP1 was_VBDZ always_RR warning_VVG us_PPIO2 not_XX to_TO make_VVI the_AT essays_NN2 too_RG smart_JJ or_CC colleges_NN2 would_VM catch_VVI on_RP ._. 
Alice_NP1 unfolded_VVD her_APPGE arms_NN2 and_CC held_VVD out_RP a_AT1 hardcover_NN1 book_NN1 ._. 
On_II the_AT cover_NN1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 pen-and-ink_JJ drawing_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 flock_NN1 of_IO birds_NN2 in_II flight_NN1 ._. 
Kindness_NN1 to_II Birds_NP1 by_II Preston_NP1 Brooks_NP1 ._. 
"_" I_PPIS1 've_VH0 been_VBN reading_VVG this_DD1 ._. "_" 
"_" Oh_UH ._. 
How_RRQ is_VBZ it_PPH1 ?_? "_" 
"_" Breathtaking_JJ ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 knew_VVD this_DD1 Preston_NP1 Brooks_NP1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 was_VBDZ sort_RR21 of_RR22 the_AT Mannheim_NP1 Steamroller_NP1 or_CC the_AT Velveeta_NP1 cheese_NN1 of_IO novelists_NN2 ._. 
But_CCB I_PPIS1 just_RR nodded_VVD ,_, because_CS I_PPIS1 liked_VVD Alice_NP1 ._. 
There_EX was_VBDZ a_RR21 lot_RR22 weird_JJ about_II her_PPHO1 ._. 
Her_APPGE grandmother_NN1 had_VHD died_VVN two_MC years_NNT2 ago_RA and_CC left_VVN Alice_NP1 all_DB her_APPGE clothes_NN2 ,_, mothbally_RR '70s_MC2 sweaters_NN2 with_IW big_JJ poofy_JJ necks_NN2 ._. 
That_DD1 was_VBDZ all_DB Alice_NP1 wore_VVD ,_, as_CSA some_DD kind_NN1 of_IO tribute_NN1 ._. 
But_CCB back_RP then_RT I_PPIS1 wore_VVD napkin_NN1 pants_NN2 and_CC ratty_JJ running_JJ sneakers_NN2 and_CC my_APPGE hair_NN1 had_VHD mysterious_JJ crusts_NN2 ,_, so_RR as_CS31 far_CS32 as_CS33 that_DD1 goes_VVZ Alice_NP1 was_VBDZ friggin'_JJ Donna_NP1 Karan_NP1 ._. 
Alice_NP1 graduated_VVD from_II some_DD woman_NN1 's_GE college_NN1 in_II Nova_NP1 Scotia_NP1 or_CC something_PN1 ,_, and_CC how_RRQ Jon_NP1 Sturges_NP2 found_VVD her_PPHO1 I_PPIS1 do_VD0 n't_XX know_VVI ._. 
That_CST the_AT two_MC of_IO us_PPIO2 came_VVD into_II the_AT office_NN1 at_RR21 all_RR22 was_VBDZ ,_, macro-economically_RR ,_, pointless_JJ ,_, because_CS no_PN121 one_PN122 called_VVN or_CC came_VVD in_RP ._. 
Jon_NP1 Sturges_NP2 just_RR liked_VVD having_VHG some_DD humans_NN2 in_II an_AT1 office_NN1 so_CS his_APPGE company_NN1 felt_VVD like_II a_AT1 legitimate_JJ enterprise_NN1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 paid_VVD us_PPIO2 more_DAR to_TO sit_VVI there_RL for_IF an_AT1 approximation_NN1 of_IO regular_JJ business_NN1 hours_NNT2 ._. 
My_APPGE office_NN1 was_VBDZ barren_JJ except_II21 for_II22 a_AT1 framed_JJ poster_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 Roman_JJ aqueduct_NN1 ._. 
Jon_NP1 Sturges_NP2 based_VVD his_APPGE business_NN1 philosophy_NN1 on_II this_DD1 book_NN1 called_VVN Caesar_NP1 ,_, CEO_NN1 :_: Business_NN1 Secrets_NN2 of_IO the_AT Ancient_JJ Romans_NN2 ._. 
He_PPHS1 constantly_RR made_VVD analogies_NN2 to_II ancient_JJ Rome_NP1 ,_, in_II the_AT flawed_JJ belief_NN1 that_CST knowing_VVG about_II one_MC1 smart-guy_JJ thing_NN1 made_VVD him_PPHO1 not_XX an_AT1 idiot_NN1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 referred_VVD to_II our_APPGE rival_JJ company_NN1 ,_, Academic_JJ Edge_NN1 ,_, as_CSA "_" Carthage_NP1 ._. "_" 
They_PPHS2 did_VDD seem_VVI to_TO threaten_VVI our_APPGE empire_NN1 ;_; we_PPIS2 'd_VHD been_VBN getting_VVG fewer_DAR and_CC fewer_DAR Hoshi_JJ Tanakas_NN2 this_DD1 season_NNT1 ._. 
