This_DD1 is_VBZ a_AT1 Book_NN1 They_PPHS2 say_VV0 your_APPGE greatest_JJT strength_NN1 is_VBZ also_RR your_APPGE greatest_JJT weakness_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 think_VV0 this_DD1 is_VBZ true_JJ ._. 
For_IF me_PPIO1 ,_, it_PPH1 would_VM definitely_RR be_VBI my_APPGE megaphone_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 all_DB started_VVD when_RRQ I_PPIS1 got_VVD the_AT megaphone_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ a_AT1 gift_NN1 from_II my_APPGE friend_NN1 Doug_NP1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 remember_VV0 the_AT moment_NN1 clearly_RR ._. 
Doug_NP1 and_CC I_PPIS1 were_VBDR standing_VVG in_II his_APPGE garage_NN1 looking_VVG for_IF his_APPGE turtle_NN1 ,_, when_CS I_PPIS1 noticed_VVD the_AT megaphone_NN1 just_RR sitting_VVG there_RL quietly_RR ._. 
I_PPIS1 asked_VVD Doug_NP1 if_CS I_PPIS1 could_VM have_VHI it_PPH1 ._. 
He_PPHS1 said_VVD ,_, "_" Sure_JJ ._. "_" 
Then_RT he_PPHS1 picked_VVD it_PPH1 up_RP and_CC handed_VVD it_PPH1 to_II me_PPIO1 ._. 
That_DD1 moment_NN1 would_VM change_VVI my_APPGE life_NN1 forever_RT ._. 
I_PPIS1 took_VVD to_II the_AT megaphone_NN1 right_NN1 away_RL ._. 
Right_RR after_II Doug_NP1 handed_VVD it_PPH1 to_II me_PPIO1 ,_, the_AT first_MD word_NN1 I_PPIS1 said_VVD through_II it_PPH1 was_VBDZ "_" Thank_VV0 "_" and_CC then_RT right_RR after_CS that_DD1 "_" You_PPY ,_, "_" but_CCB I_PPIS1 really_RR let_VV0 it_PPH1 ring_VVI out_RP --_NN1 like_II "_" Youuuuuuu_NP1 !_! "_" 
Doug_NP1 did_VDD n't_XX seem_VVI that_CST thrilled_VVD with_IW me_PPIO1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 think_VV0 that_DD1 's_VBZ a_AT1 common_JJ sort_NN1 of_IO reaction_NN1 when_CS someone_PN1 gives_VVZ something_PN1 away_RL and_CC then_RT realizes_VVZ how_RRQ great_JJ the_AT thing_NN1 they_PPHS2 just_RR gave_VVD away_RL was_VBDZ ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ right_JJ after_CS I_PPIS1 tried_VVD out_RP the_AT siren_NN1 function_NN1 that_CST Doug_NP1 really_RR started_VVD to_TO seem_VVI irritated_VVN about_II his_APPGE decision_NN1 to_TO give_VVI away_RL that_DD1 great_JJ megaphone_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX want_VVI to_TO make_VVI the_AT situation_NN1 any_DD worse_JJR ,_, so_CS I_PPIS1 just_RR said_VVD "_" Hello_UH ?_? "_" through_II the_AT megaphone_NN1 and_CC made_VVD a_AT1 face_NN1 that_CST said_VVD "_" this_DD1 thing_NN1 is_VBZ n't_XX really_RR that_RG great_JJ ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 think_VV0 that_CST helped_VVD ,_, because_CS Doug_NP1 stopped_VVD shaking_VVG his_APPGE head_NN1 and_CC cursing_VVG at_II me_PPIO1 ._. 
At_RR21 first_RR22 ,_, everything_PN1 with_IW the_AT megaphone_NN1 was_VBDZ great_JJ ._. 
It_PPH1 came_VVD in_RP really_RR handy_JJ in_II the_AT obvious_JJ situations_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 would_VM be_VBI meeting_VVG a_AT1 friend_NN1 somewhere_RL and_CC I_PPIS1 'd_VM use_VVI it_PPH1 to_TO call_VVI out_RP to_II him_PPHO1 so_CS21 that_CS22 he_PPHS1 could_VM find_VVI me_PPIO1 in_II a_AT1 crowd_NN1 ,_, or_CC I_PPIS1 'd_VM use_VVI the_AT megaphone_NN1 to_TO get_VVI someone_PN1 to_TO move_VVI out_II21 of_II22 my_APPGE way_NN1 on_II the_AT sidewalk_NN1 or_CC in_II line_NN1 at_II the_AT pharmacy_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 've_VH0 always_RR hated_VVN boring_JJ street_NN1 performers_NN2 ._. 
Thanks_NN2 to_II the_AT megaphone_NN1 I_PPIS1 finally_RR had_VHD a_AT1 real_JJ outlet_NN1 to_TO express_VVI that_DD1 ._. 
And_CC you_PPY know_VV0 ,_, I_PPIS1 never_RR really_RR knew_VVD what_DDQ "_" thinking_VVG out_RP loud_RR "_" meant_VVN until_CS I_PPIS1 did_VDD it_PPH1 through_II the_AT megaphone_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 made_VVD my_APPGE thinking_NN1 way_NN1 more_RRR "_" out_RP loud_RR "_" and_CC more_RRR "_" out_RP landish_JJ "_" too_RR ._. 
Like_II a_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO people_NN ,_, I_PPIS1 've_VH0 always_RR enjoyed_VVN commenting_VVG on_II strangers_NN2 '_GE outfits_NN2 ._. 
Unlike_II a_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO people_NN ,_, I_PPIS1 now_RT had_VHD a_AT1 new_JJ megaphone_NN1 to_TO do_VDI it_PPH1 with_IW ._. 
And_CC ,_, let_VV0 me_PPIO1 tell_VVI you_PPY ,_, commenting_VVG on_II people_NN 's_GE hilarious_JJ clothing_NN1 choices_NN2 through_II a_AT1 megaphone_NN1 makes_VVZ it_PPH1 so_RG much_DA1 better_JJR ._. 
With_IW the_AT megaphone_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 also_RR started_VVD to_TO get_VVI noticed_VVN a_RR21 lot_RR22 more_RRR by_II women_NN2 ,_, especially_RR whenever_RRQV I_PPIS1 tried_VVD to_TO guess_VVI their_APPGE name_NN1 or_CC bra_NN1 size_NN1 as_CSA they_PPHS2 walked_VVD by_RP ._. 
One_MC1 thing_NN1 you_PPY learn_VV0 pretty_RG quickly_RR with_IW a_AT1 megaphone_NN1 is_VBZ that_CST it_PPH1 's_VBZ hard_RR not_XX to_TO say_VVI "_" Step_NN1 right_NN1 up_RP !_! "_" through_II it_PPH1 ._. 
For_IF me_PPIO1 that_CST proved_VVD to_TO be_VBI most_RGT problematic_JJ at_II carnivals_NN2 and_CC soup_NN1 kitchens_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 discovered_VVD that_CST if_CS there_EX 's_VBZ one_MC1 thing_NN1 carnies_NN2 and_CC soupies_NN2 have_VH0 in_RR21 common_RR22 it_PPH1 's_VBZ that_CST they_PPHS2 do_VD0 not_XX like_VVI to_TO "_" step_VVI right_RR up_RP "_" and_CC then_RT find_VV0 that_CST there_EX 's_VBZ nothing_PN1 there_RL besides_II a_AT1 guy_NN1 with_IW a_AT1 megaphone_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 used_VMK to_TO eat_VVI meat_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 ate_VVD fruits_NN2 and_CC vegetables_NN2 too_RR ,_, and_CC a_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO other_JJ things_NN2 people_NN handed_VVN to_II me_PPIO1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 guess_VV0 you_PPY could_VM say_VVI I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ an_AT1 "_" Omnivore_NN1 ._. "_" 
Like_II a_AT1 lot_NN1 of_IO people_NN ,_, I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX know_VVI any_DD better_JJR ._. 
Then_RT I_PPIS1 read_VV0 a_AT1 couple_NN1 of_IO books_NN2 ._. 
One_MC1 of_IO them_PPHO2 was_VBDZ called_VVN How_RRQ Chickens_NN2 Are_VBR Raped_VVN Before_CS You_PPY Eat_VV0 Them_PPHO2 ._. 
Another_DD1 was_VBDZ called_VVN Hotdogs_NN2 and_CC Fingertips_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 also_RR read_VV0 The_AT Cow_NN1 Feces_VVZ Dilemma_NN1 as_II31 well_II32 as_II33 Barf_NP1 ,_, STDs_NN2 ,_, and_CC Veal_NN1 ._. 
These_DD2 books_NN2 ,_, and_CC my_APPGE girlfriend_NN1 who_PNQS made_VVD me_PPIO1 read_VVD them_PPHO2 ,_, really_RR motivated_VVN me_PPIO1 to_TO become_VVI a_AT1 "_" Vegetarian_NN1 ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 started_VVD out_RP as_II a_AT1 "_" Regular_JJ Vegetarian_NN1 "_" (_( someone_PN1 who_PNQS does_VDZ not_XX eat_VVI meat_NN1 )_) ,_, and_CC then_RT I_PPIS1 became_VVD what_DDQ is_VBZ called_VVN a_AT1 "_" Constipated_JJ Vegetarian_NN1 "_" (_( someone_PN1 who_PNQS eats_VVZ too_RG many_DA2 bananas_NN2 )_) ._. 
After_II that_DD1 ,_, I_PPIS1 became_VVD what_DDQ they_PPHS2 call_VV0 a_AT1 "_" Strict_JJ Vegetarian_NN1 ._. "_" 
That_DD1 's_VBZ someone_PN1 who_PNQS eats_VVZ only_JJ fruits_NN2 and_CC vegetables_NN2 that_CST have_VH0 been_VBN disciplined_VVN in_II some_DD way_NN1 --_NN1 like_II ,_, for_REX21 example_REX22 ,_, corn_NN1 that_CST was_VBDZ grown_VVN in_II a_AT1 perfect_JJ row_NN1 ,_, or_CC grapes_NN2 that_CST were_VBDR stomped_VVN by_II someone_PN1 in_II uniform_NN1 ._. 
After_II being_VBG strict_JJ vegetarians_NN2 for_IF a_AT1 while_NNT1 ,_, my_APPGE girlfriend_NN1 and_CC I_PPIS1 became_VVD "_" Militant_JJ Vegetarians_NN2 "_" (_( vegetarians_NN2 who_PNQS not_XX only_RR eat_VV0 fruits_NN2 and_CC vegetables_NN2 but_CCB also_RR fight_VV0 with_IW them_PPHO2 )_) ._. 
That_DD1 lasted_VVD until_CS we_PPIS2 both_DB2 got_VVD pretty_RG severe_JJ rashes_NN2 from_II accidentally_RR eating_VVG some_DD poison_NN1 ivy_NN1 ._. 
That_DD1 led_VVD to_II our_APPGE eventual_JJ breakout_NN1 /_FO breakup_NN1 /_FO make-up_NN1 /_FO cookout_VV0 /_FO make-out_NN1 /_FO break-fast_NN1 ,_, and_CC then_RT final_JJ breakup_NN1 ._. 
After_II that_DD1 ,_, I_PPIS1 switched_VVD to_II a_AT1 fish-only_JJ diet_NN1 ,_, becoming_VVG a_AT1 "_" Pescatarian_JJ ._. "_" 
I_PPIS1 decided_VVD to_TO try_VVI it_PPH1 because_CS I_PPIS1 wanted_VVD a_AT1 change_NN1 ,_, and_CC also_RR ,_, I_PPIS1 happened_VVD to_TO be_VBI stranded_VVN on_II an_AT1 island_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ relieved_VVN when_CS they_PPHS2 rescued_VVD me_PPIO1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ also_RR pretty_RG embarrassed_JJ ,_, because_CS the_AT island_NN1 turned_VVD out_RP to_TO be_VBI a_AT1 peninsula_NN1 (_( I_PPIS1 have_VH0 an_AT1 especially_RR bad_JJ sense_NN1 of_IO direction_NN1 )_) ._. 
Still_RR ,_, by_II then_RT I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ happy_JJ to_TO give_VVI up_RP fish_NN for_IF a_AT1 while_NNT1 ._. 
Next_MD I_PPIS1 decided_VVD to_TO become_VVI a_AT1 "_" Vegan_NN1 "_" (_( no_AT animals_NN2 or_CC animal_NN1 products_NN2 )_) ._. 
After_CS that_CST I_PPIS1 became_VVD a_AT1 "_" Las_NP1 Vegan_NP1 "_" (_( the_AT same_DA thing_NN1 as_CSA vegan_NN1 but_CCB living_VVG in_II Las_NP1 Vegas_NP1 )_) ._. 
There_RL I_PPIS1 found_VVD a_AT1 whole_JJ community_NN1 of_IO like-minded_JJ souls_NN2 ._. 
I_PPIS1 often_RR found_VVD these_DD2 people_NN in_II small_JJ grocery_NN1 stores_NN2 that_CST smelled_VVD kind_NN1 of_IO weird_JJ and_CC were_VBDR run_VVN by_II people_NN who_PNQS smelled_VVD kind_RR21 of_RR22 weirder_JJR ._. 
We_PPIS2 would_VM talk_VVI about_II politics_NN1 and_CC religion_NN1 and_CC how_RRQ to_TO keep_VVI bugs_NN2 out_II21 of_II22 your_APPGE hair_NN1 ._. 
Everybody_PN1 was_VBDZ open-minded_JJ ,_, which_DDQ was_VBDZ nice_JJ ,_, and_CC many_DA2 of_IO them_PPHO2 wore_VVD shoes_NN2 that_CST were_VBDR open-toed_JJ ._. 
And_CC that_DD1 was_VBDZ nasty_JJ ._. 
After_II that_DD1 ,_, I_PPIS1 became_VVD what_DDQ some_DD call_VV0 a_AT1 "_" Hyper_JJ Vegan_NN1 "_" (_( no_AT animal_NN1 products_NN2 or_CC things_NN2 that_CST even_RR look_VV0 like_II animals_NN2 --_NN1 including_II animal_NN1 crackers_NN2 ,_, gummy_JJ worms_NN2 ,_, those_DD2 Easter_NNT1 peeps_NN2 ,_, asparagus_NN1 that_CST resembles_VVZ a_AT1 snake_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 snake_NN1 that_CST resembles_VVZ asparagus_NN1 ,_, etc_RA ._. )_) ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ hard_JJ ,_, but_CCB I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ really_RR committed_VVN to_II it_PPH1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 spent_VVD my_APPGE time_NNT1 reading_VVG books_NN2 like_II Being_VBG Hyper_JJ Vegan_NN1 :_: It_PPH1 's_VBZ Hard_RR But_CCB Be_VBI Really_RR Committed_VVN to_II It_PPH1 and_CC Four_MC Things_NN2 You_PPY Can_VM Eat_VV0 Besides_II Dirt_NN1 !_! 
These_DD2 books_NN2 ,_, and_CC my_APPGE new_JJ girlfriend_NN1 who_PNQS made_VVD me_PPIO1 read_VVD them_PPHO2 ,_, really_RR kept_VVD me_PPIO1 on_II track_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ hyper_JJ vegan_NN1 for_IF almost_RR a_AT1 year_NNT1 ._. 
Then_RT one_MC1 afternoon_NNT1 I_PPIS1 sort_RR21 of_RR22 freaked_VVN out_RP and_CC ended_VVN up_RP eating_VVG an_AT1 entire_JJ cow_NN1 ._. 
From_II what_DDQ I_PPIS1 can_VM remember_VVI ,_, I_PPIS1 did_VDD n't_XX cook_VVI or_CC even_RR kill_VVI the_AT cow_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 just_RR tackled_VVD it_PPH1 and_CC ate_VVD it_PPH1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 'm_VBM not_XX proud_JJ of_IO that_DD1 ,_, but_CCB I_PPIS1 feel_VV0 I_PPIS1 should_VM mention_VVI it_PPH1 here_RL in_II the_AT interest_NN1 of_IO full_JJ disclosure_NN1 ._. 
After_CS the_AT trial_NN1 ,_, a_AT1 battery_NN1 of_IO shots_NN2 ,_, and_CC several_DA2 rounds_NN2 of_IO antibiotics_NN2 ,_, I_PPIS1 decided_VVD to_TO turn_VVI over_RP a_AT1 new_JJ leaf_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 became_VVD "_" Raw_JJ "_" (_( someone_PN1 who_PNQS only_RR eats_VVZ raw_JJ food_NN1 )_) ._. 
I_PPIS1 added_VVD sushi_NN2 to_II this_DD1 a_AT1 few_DA2 weeks_NNT2 later_RRR ,_, becoming_VVG "_" Raw_JJ Plus_NN1 Sushi_NN1 ,_, "_" which_DDQ some_DD say_VV0 is_VBZ redundant_JJ because_CS sushi_NN2 is_VBZ raw_JJ ._. 
Whatever_DDQV ._. 
Shortly_RR thereafter_RT ,_, I_PPIS1 decided_VVD to_TO remove_VVI the_AT sushi_NN2 from_II my_APPGE diet_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ made_VVD me_PPIO1 raw_JJ again_RT ._. 
Then_RT I_PPIS1 decided_VVD to_TO eat_VVI only_RR raw_JJ foods_NN2 that_CST had_VHD the_AT letters_NN2 from_II the_AT word_NN1 "_" vegan_NN1 "_" in_II their_APPGE name_NN1 (_( like_II "_" agave_NN1 "_" )_) ._. 
I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ ,_, at_II that_DD1 point_NN1 ,_, what_DDQ they_PPHS2 call_VV0 a_AT1 "_" Literal_JJ Vegan_NN1 "_" (_( a_AT1 vegan_NN1 whose_DDQGE diet_NN1 is_VBZ based_VVN on_II wordplay_NN1 )_) ._. 
In_II an_AT1 effort_NN1 to_TO get_VVI healthy_JJ ,_, I_PPIS1 did_VDD a_AT1 cleanse_VV0 ,_, a_AT1 fast_JJ ,_, a_AT1 master_NN1 cleanse_VV0 ,_, a_AT1 mistress_NN1 cleanse_VV0 ,_, a_AT1 master_NN1 fast_RR ,_, a_AT1 faster_JJR master_NN1 fast_RR ,_, and_CC then_RT a_AT1 purge_NN1 ._. 
I_PPIS1 stopped_VVD shaving_VVG my_APPGE legs_NN2 ,_, because_CS someone_PN1 pointed_VVD out_RP that_CST it_PPH1 was_VBDZ strange_JJ that_CST I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ shaving_VVG them_PPHO2 in_II the_AT first_MD place_NN1 ._. 
Then_RT I_PPIS1 stopped_VVD hunting_NN1 ,_, mostly_RR because_CS it_PPH1 seemed_VVD wasteful_JJ to_TO just_RR kill_VVI the_AT animals_NN2 and_CC leave_VV0 them_PPHO2 there_RL ,_, considering_VVG my_APPGE diet_NN1 and_CC everything_PN1 ._. 
After_CS completely_RR cleansing_VVG my_APPGE system_NN1 ,_, I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ ready_JJ to_TO get_VVI serious_JJ about_II my_APPGE diet_NN1 ._. 
That_DD1 's_VBZ when_RRQ I_PPIS1 went_VVD from_II "_" Raw_JJ Vegan_NN1 "_" to_II "_" Raw_JJ Forager_NN1 "_" (_( when_CS you_PPY only_RR eat_VV0 things_NN2 that_CST are_VBR raw_JJ that_CST you_PPY find_VV0 in_II the_AT woods_NN2 ,_, like_II a_AT1 leaf_NN1 or_CC &hellip;_... another_DD1 kind_NN1 of_IO leaf_NN1 )_) ._. 
Finally_RR ,_, last_MD month_NNT1 I_PPIS1 decided_VVD to_TO go_VVI from_II "_" Raw_JJ Forager_NN1 "_" to_II "_" Passive_JJ Forager_NN1 ._. "_" 
Passive_JJ forager_NN1 is_VBZ when_RRQ you_PPY lie_VV0 down_RP on_II the_AT forest_NN1 floor_NN1 on_II your_APPGE back_NN1 and_CC then_RT you_PPY open_VV0 your_APPGE mouth_NN1 and_CC eat_VV0 only_RR the_AT things_NN2 that_CST fall_VV0 into_II it_PPH1 ._. 
You_PPY 're_VBR supposed_JJ to_TO only_RR eat_VVI the_AT things_NN2 that_CST fall_VV0 in_II that_DD1 are_VBR also_RR not_XX alive_JJ ._. 
However_RR ,_, you_PPY can_VM eat_VVI a_AT1 living_JJ thing_NN1 if_CS it_PPH1 is_VBZ attacking_VVG your_APPGE mouth_NN1 ,_, which_DDQ happens_VVZ from_RR41 time_RR42 to_RR43 time_RR44 ._. 
And_CC that_DD1 works_VVZ out_RP pretty_RG well_RR if_CS you_PPY need_VV0 to_TO get_VVI some_DD protein_NN1 or_CC defend_VV0 your_APPGE face_NN1 ._. 
Anyway_RR ,_, today_RT I_PPIS1 am_VBM feeling_VVG pretty_RG good_JJ ,_, definitely_RR much_RR better_RRR than_CSN I_PPIS1 look_VV0 ._. 
I_PPIS1 guess_VV0 you_PPY could_VM say_VVI my_APPGE diet_NN1 has_VHZ been_VBN a_AT1 personal_JJ journey_NN1 of_IO sorts_NN2 ._. 
It_PPH1 has_VHZ n't_XX been_VBN easy_JJ ,_, but_CCB it_PPH1 sure_RR feels_VVZ great_JJ to_TO eat_VVI healthy_JJ ._. 
Something_PN1 truly_RR terrible_JJ happened_VVD today_RT ._. 
As_CSA I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ bagging_VVG some_DD grapes_NN2 for_IF one_MC1 of_IO my_APPGE neighborhood_NN1 regulars_NN2 ,_, I_PPIS1 heard_VVD a_AT1 screeching_NN1 sound_VVI ._. 
When_CS I_PPIS1 turned_VVD around_RP to_TO see_VVI what_DDQ it_PPH1 was_VBDZ ,_, a_AT1 car_NN1 came_VVD speeding_VVG down_II the_AT street_NN1 ._. 
It_PPH1 was_VBDZ being_VBG chased_VVN by_II a_AT1 police_NN2 car_NN1 ._. 
Before_CS I_PPIS1 knew_VVD what_DDQ happened_VVD ,_, both_DB2 of_IO the_AT cars_NN2 drove_VVD directly_RR into_II my_APPGE fruit_NN stand_VV0 ._. 
The_AT stand_NN1 was_VBDZ completely_RR destroyed_VVN ._. 
There_EX was_VBDZ fruit_NN everywhere_RL ._. 
I_PPIS1 am_VBM still_RR in_II shock_NN1 about_II what_DDQ happened_VVD ._. 
The_AT Word_NN1 Awards_VVZ The_AT annual_JJ Word_NN1 Awards_NN2 were_VBDR held_VVN last_MD night_NNT1 at_II Vernacular_JJ Pavilion_NN1 ._. 
Here_RL are_VBR some_DD of_IO the_AT ceremony_NN1 's_GE highlights_NN2 ._. 
The_AT word_NN1 allege_VV0 was_VBDZ honored_VVN for_IF being_VBG the_AT all-time_JJ most_RGT overused_JJ word_NN1 in_II television_NN1 news_NN1 ._. 
The_AT winner_NN1 allegedly_RR beat_VV0 the_AT second-place_JJ word_NN1 ,_, suspect_VV0 ,_, by_II a_AT1 wide_JJ margin_NN1 ._. 
Allege_VV0 denied_JJ allegations_NN2 that_CST it_PPH1 won_VVD only_RR because_CS reporters_NN2 are_VBR allegedly_RR too_RG stupid_JJ to_TO think_VVI of_IO other_JJ words_NN2 to_TO use_VVI ._. 
Allege_VV0 thanked_VVN all_DB the_AT reporters_NN2 for_IF their_APPGE "_" insane_JJ repetition_NN1 "_" of_IO it_PPH1 ,_, and_CC confirmed_VVD allegations_NN2 that_CST it_PPH1 will_VM continue_VVI to_TO be_VBI overused_VVN by_II people_NN who_PNQS work_VV0 in_II the_AT news_NN1 media_NN ,_, many_DA2 of_IO whom_PNQO allegedly_RR do_VD0 n't_XX even_RR know_VVI what_DDQ allege_VV0 means_NN ._. 
Whom_PNQO received_VVD a_AT1 Lifetime_NNT1 Achievement_NN1 Award_NN1 for_IF its_APPGE special_JJ service_NN1 to_II pompous_JJ assholes_NN2 ._. 
Whom_PNQO extended_VVD a_AT1 special_JJ thanks_NN2 to_II people_NN who_PNQS "_" correct_VV0 others_NN2 who_PNQS mistakenly_RR use_VV0 'who_NN1 ,_, '_GE "_" saying_NN1 ,_, "_" I_PPIS1 dedicate_VV0 this_DD1 award_NN1 to_II them_PPHO2 ,_, without_IW whom_PNQO this_DD1 would_VM have_VHI not_XX been_VBN possible_JJ ._. "_" 
Sesquipedalian_NP1 shared_VVD the_AT award_NN1 for_IF Most_DAT Autological_JJ Word_NN1 with_IW autological_JJ ._. 
The_AT winners_NN2 beat_VV0 out_RP fellow_JJ nominees_NN2 ,_, letters_NN2 and_CC nominee_NN1 for_IF the_AT prize_NN1 ._. 
Winner_NN1 was_VBDZ ,_, once_RR21 again_RR22 ,_, barred_VVN from_II competition_NN1 for_IF being_VBG too_RG presumptuous_JJ ._. 
Presumptuous_JJ was_VBDZ not_XX available_JJ for_IF comment_NN1 but_CCB managed_VVD to_TO irritate_VVI people_NN nonetheless_RR ._. 
The_AT Ensemble_NN1 Award_NN1 for_IF the_AT Least_RGT Frequently_RR Used_JJ Combination_NN1 of_IO Words_NN2 went_VVD to_II I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ wrong_JJ ,_, which_DDQ was_VBDZ presented_VVN by_II last_MD year_NNT1 's_GE winner_NN1 I_PPIS1 have_VH0 a_AT1 drinking_NN1 problem_NN1 ._. 
The_AT word_NN1 word_NN1 was_VBDZ honored_VVN for_IF officially_RR regaining_VVG its_APPGE intended_JJ meaning_NN1 after_II spending_VVG more_DAR than_CSN two_MC decades_NNT2 in_II hip-hop_NN1 where_CS it_PPH1 has_VHZ meant_VVN "_" yes_UH ,_, that_DD1 's_VBZ correct_JJ ._. "_" 
Word_NN1 began_VVD its_APPGE embarrassing_JJ stint_NN1 there_RL in_II the_AT late_JJ twentieth_MD century_NNT1 when_RRQ young_JJ rappers_NN2 paired_VVD it_PPH1 with_IW up_II (_( e.g._REX ,_, "_" Are_VBR you_PPY going_VVGK to_TO come_VVI correct_JJ ?_? "_" 
"_" Word_VV0 up_RP ._. "_" )_) 
and_CC soon_RR thereafter_RT started_VVD to_TO appear_VVI without_RR up_RP ._. 
Up_RP ,_, meanwhile_RR ,_, had_VHD been_VBN recruited_VVN with_IW in_II by_II the_AT very_RG same_DA community_NN1 ,_, who_PNQS used_VVD it_PPH1 to_TO say_VVI things_NN2 like_VV0 "_" I_PPIS1 was_VBDZ all_DB up_RP in_II there_RL "_" for_IF reasons_NN2 that_CST are_VBR still_RR unclear_JJ ._. 
The_AT Award_NN1 for_IF the_AT Word_NN1 Used_VVD Most_RGT Frequently_RR When_CS It_PPH1 Is_VBZ Not_XX Actually_RR Justified_VVN went_VVD to_II awesome_JJ ,_, which_DDQ narrowly_RR beat_VVD out_RP genius_NN1 ._. 
Many_DA2 were_VBDR surprised_JJ that_CST literally_RR was_VBDZ not_XX nominated_VVN ,_, literally_RR ._. 
The_AT Parlance_NN1 Memorial_NN1 Award_NN1 ,_, given_VVN to_II the_AT word_NN1 that_CST is_VBZ most_RGT frequently_RR whispered_VVN ,_, went_VVD to_II cancer_NN1 again_RT this_DD1 year_NNT1 ,_, continuing_VVG its_APPGE remarkable_JJ streak_NN1 ._. 
Your_APPGE and_CC you_PPY 're_VBR performed_VVN a_AT1 short_JJ comedy_NN1 routine_NN1 about_II just_RR how_RGQ stupid_JJ people_NN on_II social_JJ networking_NN1 sites_NN2 are_VBR ._. 
Yore_VV0 ,_, who_PNQS is_VBZ famously_RR reclusive_JJ ,_, delighted_VVD the_AT assembled_JJ crowd_NN1 with_IW a_AT1 surprise_NN1 cameo_NN1 during_II the_AT routine_NN1 ._. 
The_AT night_NNT1 's_GE best-dressed_JJT word_NN1 was_VBDZ slanted_VVN ,_, who_PNQS fittingly_RR arrived_VVN on_II the_AT red_JJ carpet_NN1 in_II italics_NN2 ._. 
Albeit_CS won_VVN the_AT Award_NN1 for_IF the_AT Word_NN1 Least_RGT Likely_JJ to_TO Appear_VV0 in_II a_AT1 Tattoo_NN1 ._. 
The_AT Award_NN1 for_IF Best_JJT Comedy_NN1 Word_NN1 went_VVD to_II cahoots_NN2 ,_, beating_VVG out_RP crowd_NN1 favorite_NN1 fart_NN1 and_CC longtime_JJ champion_NN1 titmouse_NN1 ._. 
The_AT ceremony_NN1 was_VBDZ briefly_RR interrupted_VVN by_II a_AT1 loud_JJ group_NN1 of_IO nucular_JJ protesters_NN2 ,_, who_PNQS demanded_VVD that_DD1 nucular_NN1 be_VBI recognized_VVN as_II a_AT1 word_NN1 ._. 
Spotted_VVN among_II the_AT protesters_NN2 were_VBDR idiot_NN1 and_CC supposebly_RR (_( who_PNQS ,_, like_II nucular_JJ ,_, is_VBZ not_XX a_AT1 word_NN1 but_CCB is_VBZ nonetheless_RR uttered_VVN every_AT1 day_NNT1 by_II many_DA2 ,_, many_DA2 people_NN in_II America_NP1 )_) ._. 
Finally_RR ,_, the_AT coveted_JJ Onomatopoeia_NN1 Prize_NN1 went_VVD to_II shphlaah_NN1 for_IF the_AT sound_NN1 of_IO a_AT1 fat_JJ man_NN1 accidentally_RR sitting_VVG on_II a_AT1 calzone_NN1 ._. 
