Introduction
The Story That Started It All here are times in our lives when what may appear to have been a terrible decision turns out to be a great learning experience and "blessing in disguise." Early in my career I spent three months as director of research at a small consulting firm. Although I didn't realize it at the time, this brief experience would profoundly shape my understanding of employee motivation and engagement and provide the insight that led me to create the RESPECT Model. I share some of that experience with you now in the hope that it will highlight for you the critical role respect plays in keeping employees engaged. The Last Guy Sat There As anyone might be, I was excited and also a bit nervous for my first day of work. I arrived forty-five minutes early and found the door locked. I waited forty-five minutes before being let in by Sherry, the company's receptionist. She asked if I had a meeting with someone. I had apparently not made much of an impression when introduced as the new director of research.
I prayed for the phone not to ring. Mary called first. We chatted for a minute, and then she asked me to transfer her to TJ's voice mail. Of course, I had no idea how to do that and hung up on her. Nor was I of any help to a client who called to schedule an assessment for one of his employees. "Yes," I told him, "I am new." I then did the only reasonable thing and took the phone off the hook. As I sat there, I had to consider the very real possibility that I had made a very bad decision. Six years in graduate school at Yale and here I was answering phones. I had walked away from a tenure-track position at one of the best schools in the country and was now sharpening pencils. I felt a wave of nausea rush over me and considered simply walking out and leaving a note. Of course, I would be sure to push my magnetic circle to the "Out" column.
The time from 1:00 to 5:00 passed more slowly than any previous four hours of my life. As I sat at my desk, I thought of the Seinfeld episode where George had gotten a job but had been given nothing to do and spent the day sharpening pencils and throwing them like darts into the fiberboard ceiling. I seriously doubted anyone would notice. I glanced over at the dying plants and realized that this was not an environment in which plants or people could thrive. At 5:00, I pushed my circle to "Out" and went home. I slept little that night as my thoughts raced between "What have I done?" and "Surely things will get better once I meet with John."
The instrument had been purchased several years earlier from a psychologist who assured Mary and John that it was valid and reliable, although he did not provide any documentation. I took the test, read the computer-generated report, and sensed immediately that it was a bad instrument. With the raw data of several thousand completed reports, it did not take me long to confirm my suspicion. The instrument failed even the most basic tests of reliability and validity. In fact, some of the scales and the manner in which they were scored made no sense at all. Had I still been teaching statistics and survey development, this would have served as an ideal example of what not to do. The report, which was generated and used to make decisions about people's careers, had all of the validity of a fortune cookie.
I explained my findings to Mary and John as straightforwardly as possible and let them know that they needed to immediately stop using the instrument. Put simply, they were committing fraud. John and Mary listened without comment and then asked me to step outside the door. After a few minutes Mary called me back in and said, "I think that pulling the instrument would confuse our clients." I was speechless. Mary asked if I could revise it -- she liked this idea because they could then market it as a new and improved version. I told her that it might be possible to create a similar-looking instrument but that the majority of existing items would have to be thrown out. I also told her that the development and validation process would take several months.
I spent the next six weeks creating, testing, editing, and retesting items. After a dozen different versions I met with John and Mary to let them know that we were ready to begin the pilot study. As part of the research plan, four hundred employees from their largest client were to be surveyed. Mary praised me for a job well done and told me that plans had changed: there would be no pilot study. She had confidence in me and the new instrument. The marketing person was already working on a press release announcing the "New and Improved" version as immediately available. Speechless, I walked out.
Supportive Feedback
Giving supportive feedback arms employees with information to help focus, shape, and direct the behavior. Whether positive or negative/corrective in nature, all feedback should be delivered in a supportive manner. Supervisors must clearly communicate that their feedback comes from a place of caring about the employee being successful -- not only for the sake of the individual but also for the sake of the team and larger organization. Keeping in mind that a supervisor's primary responsibility is to increase the human capital of his or her organization, providing ongoing supportive feedback is one of the most powerful tools in the managerial toolbox. Beyond increasing the skills of their team members, supervisors demon-state respect, commitment, and caring for their subordinates when they offer ongoing constructive, encouraging, thoughtful, and sincere feedback every day.
What if I Don't Recognize?
Nearly everyone knows that reinforcing behavior through praise makes it more likely to occur again. Whether you're praising an employee, child, or pet, it works. What most people don't understand is that failing to reinforce behavior actually makes it less likely to happen in the future. For example, imagine asking an employee to stay late to help with a project. He does so and you don't bother saying thanks. The next time that you ask him to stay late, he will be less likely to do so because he feels unappreciated.
The same principle applies to correcting problem behaviors. Imagine that you have an employee who is chronically five minutes late to work. You decide to speak with her to discuss the impact that being late has on team members, to explain that it doesn't fit with the company's culture and values, and to clearly set the expectation that she will be on time. The next few days the employee is on time and you say nothing. In the absence of praise for being on time, the employee will be at much greater risk for slipping back into her old habit of being late. When do most supervisors say something? Yep, the next time she is late! Here's what you need to know: you will never get the behavior you want by focusing on the behavior you don't want. For example, you don't get team members to take initiative by focusing on their lack of initiative. Focusing on problematic behaviors is called nagging and, while annoying, it is ineffective. To fundamentally change behavior, you must use positive reinforcement and focus on the behavior that you do want, not the behavior that you don't want. Later in this chapter I'll describe in detail about how to do just that.
Employees come to us in a state of readiness to engage, and it is the behavior and decisions of managers and organizational leaders that can result in even the best employees becoming disengaged over time. Although the rate of disengagement can be rapid, as in my own experience that I shared earlier, the descent is typically more gradual and results from managers who fail to acknowledge their employees' contributions over time. Such employees feel taken for granted and disrespected. Have you ever worked for a boss who rarely, if ever, recognized your hard work? The following example about Peter exemplifies the cost of failing to acknowledge your employees.
Implementing the RESPECT Model
While introducing Vince Lombardi prior to his receiving Fordham University's Insignias Medal, Red Blaik said of his friend, "He believes strongly that respect is the essential ingredient that cements successful human relations." Great leaders like Lombardi have always understood that respect is a two-way street and that people follow leaders whom they respect and by whom they feel respected. If you look at any list of great leaders, you will find that most come from the fields of religion, politics, the military, and sports; very few come from business. This relative dearth exists, I believe, because most business leaders fail to appreciate the importance of creating loyal followers. The most educated, hardworking, experienced, and brilliant leaders will fail if they do not engage the hearts and minds of their employees with RESPECT. You can only accomplish so much as one person; if your goal is individual glory, focus on individual sports.
Although it is difficult to teach empathy, there are specific concrete strategies that will increase your employees' experience of being treated with consideration. This list is not all-inclusive, and you should work to create and develop your own repertoire of ways to be more considerate. As a starting point, I encourage you to think about times when a supervisor treated you or another team member with consideration. You might even ask your employees directly how you could be more considerate.
1. Know your employees. The more you know about a person, the more opportunity you will have to be considerate. Therefore, you want to begin storing up information about your employees. If asking questions and learning about your employees is not natural to you, approach it with the attitude of being curious about the people who work for you. For example, ask yourself, "I wonder what this person enjoys doing outside of work?" The most effective way to store the information you gather is by using a program such as Microsoft Outlook, which allows you to create specific data fields and set calendar reminders. If Outlook is not an option, you can also use Excel, Word, or various online tools such as Google documents. You can even go old school and use oversized index cards.
Regardless of the collection method used, begin by recording the employee's birthday and start date with the organization. Next, record any information that you know about his or her family members, such as names and ages of children. Write down what you know about his or her hobbies and interests. This is the most basic information that you should obtain on every employee. Other data that you may collect over time includes where the employee grew up, the employee's wedding anniversary, volunteer work, and special causes, as well as favorite authors/books, music, television shows, and movies and activities in which their children participate. Don't go out and interrogate your employees to get all of this information at once. The idea is simply to get to know your employees better over time through casual conversation.
2. Meeting practices. Meetings often present a great opportunity to demonstrate more consideration to your employees as well as increase efficiency. The following recommendations apply to both individual and group meetings. Make it a policy that all communication devices be shut off or set to vibrate mode. Individuals with a pending emergency that may require their attention should notify the group at the beginning of the meeting. All meetings begin and end on time -- or, better yet, early.
At your next group meeting, ask your staff if they have suggestions on how to shorten or eliminate meetings or limit who must attend. Emphasize that their time -- not your time -- is important and you don't want it wasted unnecessarily.