Finding Perfect
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN she left me the embryos? I'm supposed to get the cat." Pia O'Brian paused long enough to put her hand on her chest. The shock of hearing the details of Crystal's will had been enough to stop the strongest of hearts, and Pia's was still bruised from the loss of her friend.
She was relieved to find her heart still beating, although the speed at which her heart was pumping was disconcerting.
"It's the cat," she repeated, speaking as clearly as possible so the well-dressed attorney sitting across from her would understand. "His name is Jake. I'm not really a pet person, but we've made peace with each other. I think he likes me. It's hard to tell -- he keeps to himself. I guess most cats do."
Pia thought about offering to bring in the cat so the lawyer could see for herself, but she wasn't sure that would help.
"Crystal would never leave me her babies," Pia added with a whisper. Mostly because it was true. Pia had never had a maternal or nurturing thought in her life. Taking care of the cat had been a big step for her.
"Ms. O'Brian," the attorney said with a brief smile, "Crystal was very clear in her will. She and I spoke several times as her illness progressed. She wanted you to have her embryos. Only you."
"But I &hellip; " Pia swallowed.
Embryos. Somewhere in a lab-like facility were frozen test tubes or other containers and inside of them were the potential babies her friend had so longed for.
"I know this is a shock," the lawyer, a forty-something elegant woman in a tailored suit, said. "Crystal debated telling you what she'd done. Apparently she decided against letting you know in advance."
"Probably because she knew I'd try to talk her out of it," Pia muttered.
"For now, you don't have to do anything. The storage fees are paid for the next three years. There's some paperwork to be filled out, but we can take care of it later."
Pia nodded. "Thank you," she said and rose. A quick glance at her watch told her she was going to have to hurry or she would be late for her ten-thirty appointment back at her office.
"Crystal picked you for a reason," the attorney said as Pia walked toward the door.
Pia gave the older woman a tight smile and headed for the stairs. Seconds later, she was outside, breathing deeply, wondering when the world was going to stop spinning.
This was not happening, she told herself as she started walking. It couldn't be. What had Crystal been thinking? There were dozens of other women she could have left the embryos to. Hundreds, probably. Women who were good with kids, who knew how to bake and comfort and test for a fever with the back of their hands.
Pia couldn't even keep a houseplant alive. She was a lousy hugger. Her last boyfriend had complained she always let go first. Probably because being held too long made her feel trapped. Not exactly a sterling quality for a potential parent.
Her stomach felt more than a little queasy. What had Crystal been thinking and why? Why her? That's what she couldn't get over. The fact that her friend had made such a crazy decision. And without ever mentioning it.
Fool's Gold was the kind of town where everyone knew everyone else and secrets were hard to keep. Apparently Crystal had managed to break with convention and keep some huge information to herself.
Pia reached her office building. The first floor of the structure held several retail businesses -- a card store, a gift shop with the most amazing fudge and Morgan's Books. Her office was upstairs.
She went through the plain wooden door off the side street and climbed to the second story. She could see a tall man standing by her locked office door.
"Hi," she called. "Sorry I'm late."
The man turned.
There was a window behind him, so she couldn't see his face, but she knew her schedule for the morning and the name of the man who was her next appointment. Raoul Moreno was tall, with huge shoulders. Despite the unusually cool September day, he hadn't bothered with a coat. Instead he wore a V-neck sweater over dark jeans.
She did her best. Fortunately, Dr. Galloway returned quickly and stood by the monitor as Jenny moved the wand.
"There they are," the doctor said, pointing at the screen. "We have three implantations." The older woman smiled. "Good for you, Pia. They're all in place."
Pia stared at the screen, trying to see what they were pointing at. It all looked blurry to her, but she didn't care. It was enough to know that for now, everything was going the way it was supposed to.
Although, honestly, the thought of triplets was enough to send anyone over the edge. Two months ago, she'd had a cat who didn't like her. Now she was carrying triplets.
Dr. Galloway wiped off her stomach. "Go ahead and get dressed, Pia. We'll meet in my office and discuss what happens next."
Pia nodded.
Raoul helped her to sit up, then waited as she got to her feet.
"I'm right here," he told her.
She nodded because speaking seemed impossible.
After dressing, she went out into the hall. Raoul was waiting. He took her hand in his and led the way to the doctor's office.
She went in first, trying to smile at Dr. Galloway.
"You've begun the journey," the other woman told her. "I'm so proud of you, Pia. Not many people would do what you're doing."
Probably because they were sane, she thought as she took a seat. Raoul settled next to her.
"What's next?" he asked.
"Many things," Dr. Galloway said, pulling out papers and brochures. "A multiple birth brings much joy but also a few challenges. We know early and can make the preparations. Pia, you need to focus on good food and good sleep. You're healthy and I don't foresee any problems, but we will take a few precautions."
She passed over the papers. "I want to see you in a month. I'll be monitoring you more closely than if you were carrying only one baby. Between now and then, do the reading I've highlighted. You can call the office with any questions. Everything will be fine."
Pia thought about pointing out there was no way the doctor could actually know that, but why state the obvious? She and Raoul said their goodbyes and somehow made it to the parking lot. She knew, because suddenly they were standing by his sleek, red car. She stared at him across the low roof and saw he looked as stunned as she felt.
"So it's not just me," she said. "That makes me feel better."
"I was faking it," he admitted, then swore. "Triplets. Did you see them on the screen?"
"No, but I wasn't looking too hard. I'm already weirded out by the whole thing."
"They're real," he said slowly. "The babies were just an idea before, but they're going to be born. You're having triplets."
She nodded, wishing people would stop saying that. She didn't need the pressure. Then she looked more closely at him. There was something odd in his eyes. A tightness.
He was going to tell her he couldn't do it, she thought sadly. That this was more than he'd signed on for. Not that she blamed him. She was living in stunned disbelief, as well. But for her, there was no going back. The babies were in her body, doing their thing.
Even though a part of her wanted to beg him not to abandon her, she knew that wasn't fair. He'd already been more than generous. The right thing, the honorable thing, was to release him. Sort of a "Go with God" moment.
"It's okay," she told him. "I understand. I'm going into a place that makes me uncomfortable. I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling. You've been great and I thank you for everything. Please don't feel obligated to do anything more."
He frowned. "What are you talking about?"
He tried really hard not to be scared all the time. He told himself he was bigger now. He didn't need anyone. He was strong. Except when he thought like that, his chest hurt and his throat got tight and then he started crying.
He knew what would happen next. He would be sent to a foster home where he wouldn't know the rules and the other kids would stare at him. He would try to do everything right, but he wouldn't and then he'd get yelled at and maybe hit. And he would be alone.
From downstairs, he heard voices. Adults talking. For the first couple of days he'd waited for Raoul to come. To say he'd made a mistake, that he'd changed his mind. That he wanted Peter with him forever.
He'd thought &hellip; he'd hoped &hellip; He shook his head. He'd been wrong. No one was coming for him. Not ever.
"Peter?"
He heard Mrs. Goodwin call his name.
"Peter, would you please come downstairs?"
Peter stood and wiped his face so no one would know he'd been crying. He moved to the landing, his head down, his shoulders hunched.
He took one step, then another. When he glanced up, he saw Raoul and Pia standing in the living room, watching him.
Without meaning to, he came to a stop and stared at them. They both looked kind of funny. Not mad, exactly but &hellip; Scared, he thought at last. Only adults didn't get scared, did they?
Raoul walked to the bottom of the stairs and looked up at him.
"I'm sorry," Raoul said. "For making you come here. I messed up."
Peter shrugged. "Whatever." He knew people were supposed to apologize, but he didn't know why. Saying you were sorry didn't change anything.
"No. Not whatever," Raoul said, his gaze intent. "All I could think about was getting you away from the Folios. But there was a next step. You didn't just need to be away from them, you needed to find your way to a real home."
He cleared his throat. "Pia and I are getting married. We wanted to know if you'd like to come live with us." Raoul paused. "No, that's not right. We want to adopt you, Peter. If you'll have us as your family."
Peter's whole body felt hot and cold at the same time. The words were like magic, making everything okay again. Okay for the first time in forever. Tears filled his eyes, then he was coming down the stairs so fast, he was practically flying. He launched himself at Raoul.
Raoul caught him and held him so tight it was hard to breathe, but that was okay. Peter was crying, then Pia was there, hugging them both. She was saying something about babies and puppies and his own room.
Peter didn't understand it all and he knew it didn't matter. All he cared about was that he'd finally found a place to belong. A family with people who loved him. Raoul's strong arms held him. Pia kissed his cheek and smoothed away his tears.
For the first time since the car accident, he looked up at the ceiling and knew his parents really were watching him from heaven.
"You can stop being sad now," he whispered. "I'm going to be okay."
I stopped wanting to float away from my life, because in the end my life was all I had. I'd walk the Fairmont campus and look up to the sky and I wouldn't see myself drifting off like some lost balloon. Instead I saw the size of the world and found comfort in its hugeness. I'd think back to the times when I felt like everything was closing in on me, those times when I thought I was stuck, and I realized that I was wrong. There is always hope. The world is vast and meant for wandering. There is always somewhere else to go.