<time>1_00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:02,200</time>
<s>hello大家好我是糖果果</s>
<time>2_00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,800</time>
<s>大家好我是小工陈同学</s>
<time>3_00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,600</time>
<s>转眼就到了我们4周年的结婚纪念日了</s>
<time>4_00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,000</time>
<s>就像博士生每年要向</s>
<time>5_00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,800</time>
<s>学术委员会汇报自己过去1年的进展一样</s>
<time>6_00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:11,600</time>
<s>这么严格吗</s>
<time>7_00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,600</time>
<s>哈哈同样呢</s>
<time>8_00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,600</time>
<s>我跟学长呢</s>
<time>9_00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,000</time>
<s>也跟大家汇报一下我们</s>
<time>10_00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,400</time>
<s>过去一年的感情生活</s>
<time>11_00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,200</time>
<s>我们根据大家在动态区的提问呢</s>
<time>12_00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,400</time>
<s>准备了如下的话题</s>
<time>13_00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,800</time>
<s>销做販家 0.?</s><s>_11.17，</s>
<time>14_00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,800</time>
<s>首先我跟学长因为读研读博呢</s>
<time>15_00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,800</time>
<s>从18年开始</s>
<time>16_00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,000</time>
<s>就陆陆续续谈了5年的异地恋</s>
<time>17_00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,200</time>
<s>粉丝从高三追到了三高</s>
<time>18_00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,400</time>
<s>结婚四年了异地了五年</s>
<time>19_00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,000</time>
<s>平时呢都只能做小工</s>
<time>20_00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,400</time>
<s>只有暑期呢能够转为这个暑期工</s>
<time>21_00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,600</time>
<s>这个心里很苦</s>
<time>22_00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,200</time>
<s>那大家能够接受异地恋吗</s>
<time>23_00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,200</time>
<s>可以把你们的想法打在公屏上</s>
<time>24_00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,200</time>
<s>我觉得谈异地恋呢</s>
<time>25_00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,200</time>
<s>最大的痛苦就是</s>
<time>26_00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,000</time>
<s>你没办法参与进对方的生活</s>
<time>27_00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,000</time>
<s>而对方又没办法参与进你的生活</s>
<time>28_00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000</time>
<s>谈了5年的异地恋</s>
<time>29_00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,400</time>
<s>我觉得在异地恋里面</s>
<time>30_00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,600</time>
<s>其实男女生需要的点不太一样</s>
<time>31_00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,400</time>
<s>女生更需要的可能是安全感</s>
<time>32_00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,200</time>
<s>男生可能更需要的是理解</s>
<time>33_00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,400</time>
<s>首先我站在女生的角度跟大家谈一下</s>
<time>34_00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,800</time>
<s>就男生怎么样给女生安全感</s>
<time>35_00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,600</time>
<s>我觉得学长呢</s>
<time>36_00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,000</time>
<s>有一个他自己都没有意识到的行为</s>
<time>37_00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,200</time>
<s>但是却给了我很大的安全感</s>
<time>38_00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,600</time>
<s>就是学长这种爆裂的分享欲</s>
<time>39_00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,200</time>
<s>就从他在b站三年发了2,000多条的动态</s>
<time>40_00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,600</time>
<s>基本上平均每天都有一到两条动态</s>
<time>41_00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,400</time>
<s>可以看出他是有非常强烈的分享欲</s>
<time>42_00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,200</time>
<s>BB空间意外拯救了我的爱情</s>
<time>43_00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,400</time>
<s>虽然远隔几千里</s>
<time>44_00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,600</time>
<s>因为距离我没办法参与进他的生活</s>
<time>45_00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,000</time>
<s>但通过看他的空间</s>
<time>46_00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,200</time>
<s>我感觉我跟他没有太强的距离感</s>
<time>47_00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,800</time>
<s>估计粉丝也没有什么距离感</s>
<time>48_00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,800</time>
<s>那家人们记得这个一键三连</s>
<time>49_00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,600</time>
<s>而且学长是那种就是分享的时候</s>
<time>50_00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,000</time>
<s>无论是他做的什么糗事啊</s>
<time>51_00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,200</time>
<s>或者伤心的事情</s>
<time>52_00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,200</time>
<s>就偷偷流眼泪的</s>
<time>53_00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,000</time>
<s>所有的事情</s>
<time>54_00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,000</time>
<s>他都会毫无保留的愿意去分享</s>
<time>55_00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,800</time>
<s>对家人要真实吗</s>
<time>56_00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,800</time>
<s>这种真实的愿意分享的感觉</s>
<time>57_00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,400</time>
<s>就给了我很强的安全感</s>
<time>58_00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:43,400</time>
<s>我知道我的粉丝里面</s>
<time>59_00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,400</time>
<s>可能不是所有的人都像学长</s>
<time>60_00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,600</time>
<s>有这么强烈的分享欲</s>
<time>61_00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,600</time>
<s>在这里奉劝我的广大男粉们</s>
<time>62_00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,400</time>
<s>就不要觉得说我讲给她听</s>
<time>63_00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,600</time>
<s>她一定听不懂</s>
<time>64_00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,800</time>
<s>或者我讲给她听她也不能帮助我</s>
<time>65_00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,800</time>
<s>所以我就不讲</s>
<time>66_00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,000</time>
<s>其实很多问题就是你讲着讲着以后</s>
<time>67_00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,200</time>
<s>好像这个大脑放空以后思路打开</s>
<time>68_00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,000</time>
<s>有的时候</s>
<time>69_00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,600</time>
<s>对方也许没有给你解决问题的答案</s>
<time>70_00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,600</time>
<s>但你自己在跟对方交流的过程中</s>
<time>71_00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,400</time>
<s>就会想到这个问题的答案</s>
<time>72_00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,400</time>
<s>双脚离地了</s>
<time>73_00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,200</time>
<s>智商又重新占领高地了</s>
<time>74_00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,000</time>
<s>哈哈哈对对对</s>
<time>75_00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,200</time>
<s>那异地恋中的女生呢需要安全感</s>
<time>76_00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,800</time>
<s>我觉得男生更多的是需要一种理解</s>
<time>77_00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,200</time>
<s>但其实让一个女生呢</s>
<time>78_00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:17,800</time>
<s>感同身受</s>
<time>79_00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,200</time>
<s>去理解男生面临的一些现实问题呢</s>
<time>80_00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,600</time>
<s>其实也是很困难的</s>
<time>81_00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,200</time>
<s>学姐有一点比较好的是呢</s>
<time>82_00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,200</time>
<s>有些事情她虽然不完全理解</s>
<time>83_00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,200</time>
<s>但是当我做了某个决定之后呢</s>
<time>84_00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,400</time>
<s>她会全力支持我去做这个事情</s>
<time>85_00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,000</time>
<s>这就是我觉得很多男生</s>
<time>86_00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,400</time>
<s>所有希望的那种理解</s>
<time>87_00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,000</time>
<s>虽然呢她当时是全力支持我考研</s>
<time>88_00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,000</time>
<s>但是我觉得她（现在）也不会知道</s>
<time>89_00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,400</time>
<s>我这个专业的全称</s>
<time>90_00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,800</time>
<s>不就是数据科学吗</s>
<time>91_00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:39,400</time>
<s>不对</s>
<time>92_00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,400</time>
<s>是数据科学与信息技术</s>
<time>93_00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,400</time>
<s>那你念的出来我的专业名字吗</s>
<time>94_00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,800</time>
<s>汉语言文学</s>
<time>95_00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,800</time>
<s>是语言学及应用语言学</s>
<time>96_00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,600</time>
<s>其实互相都不太了解</s>
<time>97_00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,800</time>
<s>隔行如隔山</s>
<time>98_00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,000</time>
<s>当时考研的时候呢</s>
<time>99_00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000</time>
<s>其实所有的人都比较怀疑我的决定的</s>
<time>100_00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,200</time>
<s>但是学姐呢因为相信我这个人</s>
<time>101_00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,000</time>
<s>所以呢就支持了我的这个决定</s>
<time>102_00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,400</time>
<s>这个呢就是我比较感动的理解</s>
<time>103_00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,400</time>
<s>就原来呢我是相信这个人</s>
<time>104_00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,200</time>
<s>我就相信他做的所有的决定</s>
<time>105_00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,000</time>
<s>嗯但在跟学长的相处过程中</s>
<time>106_00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,200</time>
<s>我发现这个判断经常会失误</s>
<time>107_00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,000</time>
<s>所以我们现在家庭做决策呢</s>
<time>108_00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,400</time>
<s>就是如果学长提出一个想做的事情</s>
<time>109_00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,800</time>
<s>那我也不是完完全全</s>
<time>110_00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,000</time>
<s>每一件事情都支持啊</s>
<time>111_00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,200</time>
<s>还得做个PPT是吧</s>
<time>112_00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,200</time>
<s>汇报一下</s>
<time>113_00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,000</time>
<s>加深一下理解</s>
<time>114_00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,400</time>
<s>哈哈为什么要做这件事情</s>
<time>115_00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,800</time>
<s>然后我们再去做决定</s>
<time>116_00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,200</time>
<s>理解啊这个看似简单</s>
<time>117_00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,000</time>
<s>那其实这个换位思考还挺难的</s>
<time>118_00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,400</time>
<s>毕竟这个男女生呢这个思维不同啊</s>
<time>119_00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,600</time>
<s>成长环境不同啊</s>
<time>120_00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,400</time>
<s>还包括身体结构也不同啊</s>
<time>121_00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,600</time>
<s>什么身体结构你怎么这么流氓</s>
<time>122_00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,000</time>
<s>正经一点我们这是上电视的节目</s>
<time>123_00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,800</time>
<s>我们总是想找一个女生呢</s>
<time>124_00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,800</time>
<s>就是跟自己各方面都很匹配</s>
<time>125_00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,600</time>
<s>比如说学姐</s>
<time>126_00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,200</time>
<s>之前都是一直比较是正经的人</s>
<time>127_00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,400</time>
<s>但是呢我们男生之间</s>
<time>128_00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,200</time>
<s>说话有时候就比较随便嘛</s>
<time>129_00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,200</time>
<s>刚谈恋爱的时候呢</s>
<time>130_00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,600</time>
<s>如果我说一点不正经的话呢</s>
<time>131_00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,000</time>
<s>她都会觉得非常生气</s>
<time>132_00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,200</time>
<s>更不要说开什么白天做小工啊</s>
<time>133_00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,200</time>
<s>晚上做老公啊</s>
<time>134_00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,200</time>
<s>暑假暑期工啊</s>
<time>135_00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,600</time>
<s>有时小时工啊之类的这种段子</s>
<time>136_00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,600</time>
<s>但是她现在呢</s>
<time>137_00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,600</time>
<s>可以基本上说是半个老司机了</s>
<time>138_00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,800</time>
<s>什么破路都可以开车</s>
<time>139_00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,200</time>
<s>什么梗都可以接两局</s>
<time>140_00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,000</time>
<s>有一次呢</s>
<time>141_00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,400</time>
<s>粉丝在动态里问我说学长</s>
<time>142_00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,400</time>
<s>夜深了你想学姐了会怎么办</s>
<time>143_00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,000</time>
<s>然后我说ysl</s>
<time>144_00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,400</time>
<s>我当时说那就送她</s>
<time>145_00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,600</time>
<s>口红对不对啊</s>
<time>146_00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,800</time>
<s>当时学姐就说什么硬实力</s>
<time>147_00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,800</time>
<s>我当时都会在震惊什么硬实力</s>
<time>148_00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,200</time>
<s>不是这个是粉丝说的</s>
<time>149_00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,000</time>
<s>我当时只是引用粉丝的话</s>
<time>150_00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,200</time>
<s>你给我留点面子</s>
<time>151_00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,400</time>
<s>规范引用规范引用</s>
<time>152_00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,000</time>
<s>规范引用留点面子留点面子</s>
<time>153_00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,800</time>
<s>好了好了赶紧刹车快点快点</s>
<time>154_00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,200</time>
<s>理解呢就说到这里</s>
<time>155_00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,400</time>
<s>即使有的时候理解做的非常到位啊</s>
<time>156_00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,800</time>
<s>还是会有这个夫妻之间的这个争吵</s>
<time>157_00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,600</time>
<s>摩擦</s>
<time>158_00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,400</time>
<s>首先呢</s>
<time>159_00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,600</time>
<s>我觉得对于男生的一个原则就是说</s>
<time>160_00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,000</time>
<s>不让这个情绪过夜</s>
<time>161_00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,400</time>
<s>有任何这种不开心呢</s>
<time>162_00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,600</time>
<s>或者有矛盾的点的</s>
<time>163_00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,800</time>
<s>我们俩呢都争取在第一时间讲清楚</s>
<time>164_00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,000</time>
<s>就算讲不清楚呢也两个人大吵一架</s>
<time>165_00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,800</time>
<s>因为吵架有的时候也是一种</s>
<time>166_00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,400</time>
<s>激烈地沟通</s>
<time>167_00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,200</time>
<s>可以让双方的知道知道对方在想什么</s>
<time>168_00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,800</time>
<s>不至于呢在那里生闷气</s>
<time>169_00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,400</time>
<s>越想越不对</s>
<time>170_00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,000</time>
<s>然后最后导致一个更坏的结果</s>
<time>171_00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,000</time>
<s>然后关于吵架呢</s>
<time>172_00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,600</time>
<s>我跟大家分享一个杨绛和钱钟书的故事</s>
<time>173_00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,600</time>
<s>就是这个故事是我之前读到</s>
<time>174_00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,200</time>
<s>然后启发我</s>
<time>175_00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,400</time>
<s>然后我跟学长讲了</s>
<time>176_00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,800</time>
<s>他也深受启发的故事</s>
<time>177_00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,200</time>
<s>这故事大概是这样子的</s>
<time>178_00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,400</time>
<s>就是他们俩有一次</s>
<time>179_00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,600</time>
<s>从国外坐船回中国的时候</s>
<time>180_00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,400</time>
<s>然后在船上发生了一次争吵</s>
<time>181_00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,600</time>
<s>原因其实很小</s>
<time>182_00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,200</time>
<s>就是就一个法语单词的读音</s>
<time>183_00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,400</time>
<s>两个人的观点不一样</s>
<time>184_00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,000</time>
<s>杨绎呢</s>
<time>185_00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,600</time>
<s>就嘲笑钱钟书的江苏无锡方言口音</s>
<time>186_00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,200</time>
<s>最后就上升到有点人身攻击</s>
<time>187_00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,800</time>
<s>然后刚好这个船上有个法国人</s>
<time>188_00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,600</time>
<s>杨绎就叫这个法国人来判断</s>
<time>189_00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,000</time>
<s>他们俩谁的发音更正确</s>
<time>190_00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,000</time>
<s>最后的结果就是杨蜂的发音更标准</s>
<time>191_00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,200</time>
<s>杨绎吵架吵赢了嘛</s>
<time>192_00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,000</time>
<s>后来在回忆录里面就写她说</s>
<time>193_00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,400</time>
<s>我虽然赢了却觉得无趣</s>
<time>194_00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,000</time>
<s>很不开心</s>
<time>195_00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000</time>
<s>因为他看到钱钟书耷拉着脑袋嘛</s>
<time>196_00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:29,600</time>
<s>然后我就发现</s>
<time>197_00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,800</time>
<s>我跟学长之间也是这样子</s>
<time>198_00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,200</time>
<s>我们俩发生争吵的时候</s>
<time>199_00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,400</time>
<s>其实吵赢的那一方并没有很开心</s>
<time>200_00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,200</time>
<s>我跟学长之前也是非常较真的</s>
<time>201_00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,200</time>
<s>就像学长有一次和他的朋友</s>
<time>202_00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,200</time>
<s>做那个学术海报的poster</s>
<time>203_00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,200</time>
<s>就什么instant和real-time两个词</s>
<time>204_00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,200</time>
<s>就instant和real-time</s>
<time>205_00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,000</time>
<s>讨论了半个多小时都没有结果</s>
<time>206_00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,400</time>
<s>就这种精神在学术上认真是可以的</s>
<time>207_00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,800</time>
<s>但如果代到感情中来呢</s>
<time>208_00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,000</time>
<s>比如说大家都知道的</s>
<time>209_00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,800</time>
<s>我跟学长说我昨天晚上哭到了11点</s>
<time>210_00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:54,800</time>
<s>然后粉丝回答</s>
<time>211_00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,400</time>
<s>为什么哭到整点就停下来呢</s>
<time>212_00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,000</time>
<s>所以现在我们遇到很小的事情</s>
<time>213_00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000</time>
<s>都不会去争论谁输谁赢了</s>
<time>214_00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,000</time>
<s>下一个话题呢</s>
<time>215_00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,800</time>
<s>就是我们每一期都会谈到的</s>
<time>216_00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,000</time>
<s>两性生活</s>
<time>217_00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000</time>
<s>我觉得婚姻中呢</s>
<time>218_00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,600</time>
<s>两性生活是完全不可避免的一个话题</s>
<time>219_00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,000</time>
<s>我有时候也会看这方面的</s>
<time>220_00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,200</time>
<s>就是专家的一些</s>
<time>221_00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,000</time>
<s>你那个专家是正经的吗？</s>
<time>222_00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000</time>
<s>是正经的专家</s>
<time>223_00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,800</time>
<s>关于这方面的一些研究</s>
<time>224_00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,600</time>
<s>就我之前看到一个两性专家说</s>
<time>225_00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,400</time>
<s>夫妻之间要保持这方面的和谐</s>
<time>226_00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,400</time>
<s>很重要的一个关键词叫做新鲜感</s>
<time>227_00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,000</time>
<s>那因为我们学长呢经常异地</s>
<time>228_00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:25,800</time>
<s>所以我们</s>
<time>229_00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,200</time>
<s>时常会有这种小别胜新婚的这种</s>
<time>230_00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,000</time>
<s>新鲜感吧</s>
<time>231_00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000</time>
<s>夜夜做新郎</s>
<time>232_00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,400</time>
<s>这方面陈博也是非常专业的</s>
<time>233_00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,600</time>
<s>他已经按耐不住了</s>
<time>234_00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,200</time>
<s>毕竟百度网盘里面那两个T的学习资料</s>
<time>235_00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,000</time>
<s>已经温习了很多遍了</s>
<time>236_00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,800</time>
<s>那我就浅谈一下自己的理解</s>
<time>237_00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,000</time>
<s>厚积薄发</s>
<time>238_00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,800</time>
<s>还是回顾一下去年我们谈到的点</s>
<time>239_00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,600</time>
<s>就学姐呢</s>
<time>240_00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,200</time>
<s>给女生的建议是说大家要更加的自信</s>
<time>241_00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,600</time>
<s>对那我给男生的建议呢</s>
<time>242_00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,400</time>
<s>就说大家不要这个强买强卖</s>
<time>243_00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,400</time>
<s>凡事呢这个有商有量的来</s>
<time>244_00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,400</time>
<s>今年呢我们想提到一个主题词呢</s>
<time>245_00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,600</time>
<s>就是这个沟通</s>
<time>246_00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,400</time>
<s>我们觉得呢现在包括两性问题啊</s>
<time>247_00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,800</time>
<s>其实还是很多同学和家长当中的</s>
<time>248_00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,000</time>
<s>这个隐私话题</s>
<time>249_00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,000</time>
<s>大家还是这个羞于提及的</s>
<time>250_00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,200</time>
<s>就比较不好意思</s>
<time>251_00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,000</time>
<s>但是这个东西啊就像考试一样</s>
<time>252_00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000</time>
<s>你越紧张你就越发挥不好</s>
<time>253_00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,200</time>
<s>你越发挥不好呢你考试就越紧张</s>
<time>254_00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,600</time>
<s>如果呢你当做这个小组作业一样啊</s>
<time>255_00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,800</time>
<s>大家这个有商有量的来互相讨论</s>
<time>256_00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,800</time>
<s>取长补短</s>
<time>257_00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,800</time>
<s>你在说什么</s>
<time>258_00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,000</time>
<s>反而发挥的时候呢</s>
<time>259_00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,200</time>
<s>能够更加的这个轻松</s>
<time>260_00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,800</time>
<s>更能enjoy你在里面</s>
<time>261_00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,200</time>
<s>这是可以说的吗</s>
<time>262_00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,600</time>
<s>对家人要讲真心话</s>
<time>263_00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,200</time>
<s>那你今年也给一些建议吧</s>
<time>264_00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,200</time>
<s>我说的委婉一点哈</s>
<time>265_00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,200</time>
<s>这是要注重考前复习和课后预习</s>
<time>266_00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,200</time>
<s>说得太委婉了</s>
<time>267_00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,000</time>
<s>其实呢就是说</s>
<time>268_00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,000</time>
<s>要注意这个事前和事后的这个</s>
<time>269_00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,800</time>
<s>情绪价值</s>
<time>270_00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,800</time>
<s>俗话说呢就是这个做戏做全套</s>
<time>271_00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,600</time>
<s>不能太偷懒不能太无情</s>
<time>272_00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,000</time>
<s>只能只顾自己享受</s>
<time>273_00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,200</time>
<s>两性生活之外呢</s>
<time>274_00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,400</time>
<s>大家也可以一起探讨一些什么</s>
<time>275_00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,400</time>
<s>学术问题啊</s>
<time>276_00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,000</time>
<s>美好未来以及生人规划</s>
<time>277_00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,000</time>
<s>人生规划人生规划</s>
<time>278_00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,200</time>
<s>畅想一下美好未来</s>
<time>279_00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,600</time>
<s>来提升这个用户体验</s>
<time>280_00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,200</time>
<s>是吧</s>
<time>281_00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,400</time>
<s>所以我们今年这个主题词</s>
<time>282_00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,200</time>
<s>就是这个沟通</s>
<time>283_00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,200</time>
<s>这个话题要收住</s>
<time>284_00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,200</time>
<s>不然我们这个有点风险</s>
<time>285_00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,800</time>
<s>下一个话题是育儿</s>
<time>286_00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,400</time>
<s>那我跟学长和很多人比较特殊的一点</s>
<time>287_00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,200</time>
<s>就是说我们就一边读书一边养娃</s>
<time>288_00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,000</time>
<s>两个老六呢生了一个小时</s>
<time>289_00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,400</time>
<s>其实我身边的朋友啊对我们比较好奇</s>
<time>290_00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,000</time>
<s>就说我们当父母之后呢</s>
<time>291_00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,400</time>
<s>你这个心态上会有什么样的变化</s>
<time>292_00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,000</time>
<s>我个人感觉呢</s>
<time>293_00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,400</time>
<s>就是一句古话叫父母爱之深</s>
<time>294_00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,400</time>
<s>会为其谋之深远</s>
<time>295_00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,600</time>
<s>我个人感觉呢就是做了父母之后啊</s>
<time>296_00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:16,600</time>
<s>我们的责任感呢</s>
<time>297_00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,600</time>
<s>会驱使我们去做很多原来</s>
<time>298_00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,000</time>
<s>没有想象过的一些事情</s>
<time>299_00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,200</time>
<s>比如选择城市来安家定居啊</s>
<time>300_00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,400</time>
<s>为孩子去跑户口和幼儿园啊</s>
<time>301_00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,000</time>
<s>以及对他进行一些早教啊</s>
<time>302_00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,400</time>
<s>在付出的同时呢</s>
<time>303_00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,000</time>
<s>也收获了同龄人一些意想不到的烦恼</s>
<time>304_00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,200</time>
<s>不是幸福吗</s>
<time>305_00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,800</time>
<s>另外呢有很多同学常说呢养娃很累</s>
<time>306_00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,400</time>
<s>不生娃啥事没有</s>
<time>307_00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,800</time>
<s>类似的话呢还有像什么不谈恋爱啊</s>
<time>308_00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,200</time>
<s>啥事没有的之类的</s>
<time>309_00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:39,600</time>
<s>但是呢</s>
<time>310_00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,200</time>
<s>我看到的一个定律呢叫烦恼守恒定律</s>
<time>311_00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,400</time>
<s>讲的是你的人生呢</s>
<time>312_00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,800</time>
<s>无论你是选择哪一条支线任务</s>
<time>313_00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,400</time>
<s>有女朋友</s>
<time>314_00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,000</time>
<s>生娃</s>
<time>315_00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:48,400</time>
<s>不生娃</s>
<time>316_00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:48,800</time>
<s>其实</s>
<time>317_00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,800</time>
<s>你人生会遇到的一个总体的烦恼呢</s>
<time>318_00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:51,800</time>
<s>是不会减少的</s>
<time>319_00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,200</time>
<s>只是以不同的形式来让你感受罢了</s>
<time>320_00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,400</time>
<s>那么本着这个</s>
<time>321_00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,400</time>
<s>鸡蛋从内部打破就是生命的这种原则呢</s>
<time>322_00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,200</time>
<s>我的人生态度呢</s>
<time>323_00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,400</time>
<s>一直都是去主动选择和掌握</s>
<time>324_00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,600</time>
<s>所以呢当我选择了这个有家庭</s>
<time>325_00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,200</time>
<s>和有孩子的这条路之后呢</s>
<time>326_00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,200</time>
<s>我对于其中的这个</s>
<time>327_00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,600</time>
<s>痛苦和挑战的感受呢</s>
<time>328_00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,600</time>
<s>反而少了一些</s>
<time>329_00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,600</time>
<s>对于这种收获和幸福的感受呢</s>
<time>330_00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,800</time>
<s>反而更多了一些</s>
<time>331_00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:12,800</time>
<s>其实对我而言呢</s>
<time>332_00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,800</time>
<s>我觉得我不像学长那么积极</s>
<time>333_00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:15,800</time>
<s>但是我有一个特点</s>
<time>334_00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,200</time>
<s>就是我这种抗压能力和</s>
<time>335_00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,400</time>
<s>扛困难的能力很强</s>
<time>336_00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,200</time>
<s>就有娃以后</s>
<time>337_00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,800</time>
<s>生活中有很多什么这种困难啊</s>
<time>338_00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,600</time>
<s>鸡零狗碎</s>
<time>339_00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,600</time>
<s>但它还在我的忍受范围之内</s>
<time>340_00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,400</time>
<s>而我最近悟出来的一个道理呢</s>
<time>341_00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,000</time>
<s>就是说作是做不完的</s>
<time>342_00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,800</time>
<s>带孩子也是永远无止境的</s>
<time>343_00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,800</time>
<s>少看一些这种太精致的生活</s>
<time>344_00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,600</time>
<s>不要给自己制造那么多的焦虑</s>
<time>345_00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,000</time>
<s>在育儿方面呢尤其是（顺其自然）</s>
<time>346_00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:35,600</time>
<s>就尤其这样的</s>
<time>347_00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,200</time>
<s>我和学长就比较顺其自然</s>
<time>348_00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,200</time>
<s>然后很多事情就会慢慢豁然开朗</s>
<time>349_00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,200</time>
<s>那最后一个就是问的比较多的呢</s>
<time>350_00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,800</time>
<s>是怎么看待小镇做题家</s>
<time>351_00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,800</time>
<s>我想我和学姐呢</s>
<time>352_00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,800</time>
<s>就是这个小镇做题家这个代表了</s>
<time>353_00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,200</time>
<s>我讲一个就是我自己和我发小的故事吧</s>
<time>354_00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,000</time>
<s>我有两个发小</s>
<time>355_00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:49,800</time>
<s>然后我们3个人呢</s>
<time>356_00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,400</time>
<s>在高考之后呢就分别说我们的目标</s>
<time>357_00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,800</time>
<s>就我说我要考清华</s>
<time>358_00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,200</time>
<s>另一个呢就说他要去学法律</s>
<time>359_00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,800</time>
<s>然后另一个呢说他要去学建筑</s>
<time>360_00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,400</time>
<s>我们就从家乡到大城市去上大学了</s>
<time>361_00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,200</time>
<s>但是其实呢</s>
<time>362_00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,000</time>
<s>大家出去之后</s>
<time>363_00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,200</time>
<s>都面临到不同的困难和挫折</s>
<time>364_00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,600</time>
<s>想学法律的那个同学呢</s>
<time>365_00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,200</time>
<s>他在大学4年呢是在公安大学度过的</s>
<time>366_00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,400</time>
<s>也并没有学到法律</s>
<time>367_00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,600</time>
<s>但是他的研究生呢</s>
<time>368_00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:11,600</time>
<s>通过自己的努力</s>
<time>369_00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,600</time>
<s>去到了这个北师大学的法律</s>
<time>370_00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,800</time>
<s>然后现在在北京呢也买房安家了</s>
<time>371_00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,200</time>
<s>另一个想学建筑的同学呢</s>
<time>372_00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,400</time>
<s>其实他并也没有学到建筑</s>
<time>373_00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,600</time>
<s>他学的是城市规划</s>
<time>374_00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,800</time>
<s>但是呢他大学毕业之后呢</s>
<time>375_00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,200</time>
<s>通过在外企的实习</s>
<time>376_00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,000</time>
<s>然后来又跳槽</s>
<time>377_00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,800</time>
<s>去了华南这边最大的一个设计院</s>
<time>378_00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,600</time>
<s>也在这个广州买房安家</s>
<time>379_00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,600</time>
<s>那我自己的故事呢</s>
<time>380_00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,800</time>
<s>大家也知道就是我通过二战考研啊</s>
<time>381_00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,600</time>
<s>又这个硕转博博</s>
<time>382_00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,800</time>
<s>才拿到一个在清华学习的机会</s>
<time>383_00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,600</time>
<s>所以回过头来看呢</s>
<time>384_00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,400</time>
<s>我们就是这个小镇做题家的典范</s>
<time>385_00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,800</time>
<s>我们这个出生普通</s>
<time>386_00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:38,800</time>
<s>没有资源没有背景</s>
<time>387_00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,200</time>
<s>有的呢只是一颗想要实现自己目标</s>
<time>388_00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:41,800</time>
<s>理想的心</s>
<time>389_00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:42,800</time>
<s>来到这个城市</s>
<time>390_00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,600</time>
<s>一路上呢也遭受到各种的挫折</s>
<time>391_00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,000</time>
<s>但是始终呢没有放弃过我们的理想</s>
<time>392_00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,800</time>
<s>所以呢我有次在日记本写下说</s>
<time>393_00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,200</time>
<s>感觉我们一无所有</s>
<time>394_00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,200</time>
<s>但是我们的却应有尽有</s>
<time>395_00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,200</time>
<s>我始终相信啊</s>
<time>396_00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,000</time>
<s>我们这样的人呢</s>
<time>397_00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000</time>
<s>是这个社会的这个重要的组成部分</s>
<time>398_00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,800</time>
<s>人的成长啊</s>
<time>399_00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,400</time>
<s>其实是逐渐与自己这个和解的过程</s>
<time>400_00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,400</time>
<s>最近呢我也越来越能够接受</s>
<time>401_00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,800</time>
<s>小镇做题家这样的标签</s>
<time>402_00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,000</time>
<s>也越来越去适应这个标签呢</s>
<time>403_00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,400</time>
<s>带给我们这群人的特点</s>
<time>404_00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,000</time>
<s>踏实</s>
<time>405_00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,800</time>
<s>有野心</s>
<time>406_00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,600</time>
<s>不怕挫折</s>
<time>407_00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,000</time>
<s>我们要更加的这个自信</s>
<time>408_00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,000</time>
<s>然后把这个特点呢</s>
<time>409_00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,400</time>
<s>变成我们的这个优点</s>
<time>410_00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,800</time>
<s>就像这个学姐的名字一样</s>
<time>411_00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,800</time>
<s>要相信这个未来一定会发光的</s>
<time>412_00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,400</time>
<s>太励志了</s>
<time>413_00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,800</time>
<s>我都感动都快哭了</s>
<time>414_00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,000</time>
<s>我的感受呢就是无论什么出身</s>
<time>415_00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,800</time>
<s>什么时候</s>
<time>416_00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,600</time>
<s>就是什么背景</s>
<time>417_00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,000</time>
<s>我们都要把自己的个人发展</s>
<time>418_00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:23,800</time>
<s>放在第一位</s>
<time>419_00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,800</time>
<s>比如学长呢他就非常支持我</s>
<time>420_00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,400</time>
<s>虽然都是成家有孩子</s>
<time>421_00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,200</time>
<s>以后还依旧支持我继续深造</s>
