<time>1_00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:01,400</time>
<s>Hello我是kitty</s>
<time>2_00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:02,400</time>
<s>我是林聪明</s>
<time>3_00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,400</time>
<s>这里是我跟林聪明新发起的一个栏目</s>
<time>4_00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,000</time>
<s>今天我们的话题是</s>
<time>7_00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,800</time>
<s>我们家对待小孩的感觉</s>
<time>8_00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,200</time>
<s>对哥哥是</s>
<time>9_00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,600</time>
<s>很严厉的那一种爱</s>
<time>10_00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,800</time>
<s>对我是</s>
<time>11_00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,400</time>
<s>宠爱</s>
<time>12_00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,000</time>
<s>我第一次来月经的时候</s>
<time>13_00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000</time>
<s>就真的是</s>
<time>14_00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,000</time>
<s>我爸爸妈妈</s>
<time>15_00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,400</time>
<s>我爸爸妈妈哥 苛</s>
<time>16_00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,800</time>
<s>他们三个人都超级紧张</s>
<time>17_00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,000</time>
<s>我妈妈就指挥我爸爸说</s>
<time>18_00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,200</time>
<s>你现在去超市</s>
<time>19_00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,600</time>
<s>给你女儿买卫生巾</s>
<time>20_00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:36,800</time>
<s>她就留在家教育我说</s>
<time>21_00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,800</time>
<s>这是一个正常的生理现象</s>
<time>22_00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,400</time>
<s>然后去安抚我的情绪</s>
<time>23_00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,600</time>
<s>转头跟我哥哥说</s>
<time>24_00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,200</time>
<s>就接下来一个礼拜到10天</s>
<time>25_00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:45,200</time>
<s>所有的碗你都要洗</s>
<time>26_00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,600</time>
<s>因为我们家的家务</s>
<time>27_00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,400</time>
<s>先指挥哥哥安排好家务是吗</s>
<time>28_00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,000</time>
<s>因为我们是轮流做家务</s>
<time>29_00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,600</time>
<s>我们要轮流洗碗这样子</s>
<time>30_00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,200</time>
<s>然后我妈妈就说</s>
<time>31_00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,200</time>
<s>妹妹生理期是不能碰冷水的</s>
<time>32_00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,400</time>
<s>我爸爸非常的</s>
<time>33_00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,200</time>
<s>他去超市扫那些货架</s>
<time>34_00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,000</time>
<s>他提了两大抽</s>
<time>35_00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,000</time>
<s>各种牌子的卫生巾</s>
<time>36_00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,200</time>
<s>我还在里面发现了</s>
<time>37_00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,400</time>
<s>两大袋纸尿裤（?</s><s>）</s>
<time>38_00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,200</time>
<s>就是那种纸尿裤</s>
<time>39_00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,600</time>
<s>就非常的隆重</s>
<time>40_00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,400</time>
<s>这是我的生理期</s>
<time>41_00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,600</time>
<s>像过生日一样=</s>
<time>42_00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,800</time>
<s>有一种字面意思上的</s>
<time>43_00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,000</time>
<s>我们现在就是</s>
<time>44_00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,600</time>
<s>呵护妹妹</s>
<time>45_00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,000</time>
<s>的这种感觉</s>
<time>46_00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,200</time>
<s>然后我小时候</s>
<time>47_00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,800</time>
<s>可能一天要跟他们讲</s>
<time>48_00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:20,800</time>
<s>三四次</s>
<time>49_00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,600</time>
<s>我爱你</s>
<time>50_00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,200</time>
<s>睡觉之前我可能会跑过去</s>
<time>51_00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,600</time>
<s>我爸爸那边跟他说</s>
<time>52_00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,000</time>
<s>爸爸我爱你</s>
<time>53_00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,000</time>
<s>我现在回到家</s>
<time>54_00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,000</time>
<s>我第一件事情就是过去</s>
<time>55_00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,000</time>
<s>就是去亲一下我爸爸妈妈的脸颊</s>
<time>56_00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,600</time>
<s>就到现在都还会这样子</s>
<time>57_00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,800</time>
<s>其实我也是四口之家</s>
<time>58_00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,400</time>
<s>我有个弟弟</s>
<time>59_00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,000</time>
<s>可能弟弟出生之后</s>
<time>60_00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,800</time>
<s>你就会有一个比较对象</s>
<time>61_00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,200</time>
<s>爱分多一点给你分少一点给你</s>
<time>62_00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,000</time>
<s>你是有明显的感觉的</s>
<time>63_00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,800</time>
<s>有一次我跟我弟弟打架</s>
<time>64_00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,000</time>
<s>然后我妈就把我拉开</s>
<time>65_00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,000</time>
<s>打了我一顿之后</s>
<time>66_00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000</time>
<s>她哭了</s>
<time>67_00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,800</time>
<s>她就坐在地上</s>
<time>68_00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,600</time>
<s>跟我说</s>
<time>69_00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,800</time>
<s>你要对你弟弟好一点</s>
<time>70_00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:05,200</time>
<s>不然</s>
<time>71_00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,400</time>
<s>家里的财产跟你没有</s>
<time>72_00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,400</time>
<s>半毛钱关系</s>
<time>73_00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,400</time>
<s>她对一个13岁的女孩</s>
<time>74_00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,400</time>
<s>讲这种事情</s>
<time>75_00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,400</time>
<s>她甚至用到</s>
<time>76_00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,400</time>
<s>用到利益</s>
<time>77_00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,600</time>
<s>在威胁我要去爱</s>
<time>78_00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,600</time>
<s>我的弟弟</s>
<time>79_00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,000</time>
<s>我觉得我爸爸妈妈是</s>
<time>80_00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,200</time>
<s>很懒得去</s>
<time>81_00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,000</time>
<s>给爱的人</s>
<time>82_00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000</time>
<s>我小时候非常喜欢吃虾</s>
<time>83_00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,400</time>
<s>我从初中到现在</s>
<time>84_00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,000</time>
<s>她只给我买虾</s>
<time>85_00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,400</time>
<s>我现在回到家</s>
<time>86_00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,400</time>
<s>她都会炒一盘虾</s>
<time>87_00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,600</time>
<s>她完全不去好奇9</s>
<time>88_00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,000</time>
<s>我长大过程里</s>
<time>89_00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000</time>
<s>又喜欢上了什么样新的东西</s>
<time>90_00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,000</time>
<s>而且她会以此为证据说</s>
<time>91_00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,600</time>
<s>你看我炒虾给你吃的</s>
<time>92_00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,600</time>
<s>我是爱你了</s>
<time>93_00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,800</time>
<s>我觉得他们平常</s>
<time>94_00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:51,400</time>
<s>养育你</s>
<time>95_00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,400</time>
<s>给你饭吃接送你上学</s>
<time>96_00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,200</time>
<s>然后给你钱去读书</s>
<time>97_00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,000</time>
<s>这些也珍贵的就养育之恩</s>
<time>98_00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,000</time>
<s>我小时候给我的感觉</s>
<time>99_00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000</time>
<s>所有父母都是像我父母一样</s>
<time>100_00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,400</time>
<s>对待目己的小朋友的</s>
<time>101_00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,400</time>
<s>大概是二三年级的时候</s>
<time>102_00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,400</time>
<s>我就跟我的朋友们一起出去玩</s>
<time>103_00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,000</time>
<s>然后就在场的其他小朋友都开始说</s>
<time>104_00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,200</time>
<s>很恨自己家里面的兄弟姐妹</s>
<time>105_00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,600</time>
<s>那个时候我很震惊</s>
<time>106_00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,400</time>
<s>我是那种</s>
<time>107_00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,600</time>
<s>因为我觉得你爸爸妈妈是</s>
<time>108_00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,000</time>
<s>很好的爸爸妈妈</s>
<time>109_00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,400</time>
<s>我爸爸妈妈相当于是我的一个</s>
<time>110_00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,600</time>
<s>参考的样本-</s>
<time>111_00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,600</time>
<s>他们对待自己的朋友也是</s>
<time>112_00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,800</time>
<s>喜欢付出的那种类型</s>
<time>113_00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,600</time>
<s>就是我待人接物的逻辑其实很简单</s>
<time>114_00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,000</time>
<s>就是我认识一个人</s>
<time>115_00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,600</time>
<s>然后我会先预设</s>
<time>116_00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,800</time>
<s>这个人会对我好</s>
<time>117_00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,800</time>
<s>我会下意识地就先做一些</s>
<time>118_00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,800</time>
<s>让对方觉得开心的事情</s>
<time>119_00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,600</time>
<s>因为我也很相信你会</s>
<time>120_00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:41,800</time>
<s>同样的对我好</s>
<time>121_00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000</time>
<s>我觉得缺爱对于现在的我</s>
<time>122_00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,000</time>
<s>有产生还蛮大的影响</s>
<time>123_00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:53,400</time>
<s>我会一个人把所有的事情干完</s>
<time>124_00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,800</time>
<s>可能从我妈妈跟我讲说</s>
<time>125_00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000</time>
<s>刚刚的那句话之后</s>
<time>126_00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,800</time>
<s>我脑袋里就种下了一个种子</s>
<time>127_00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,600</time>
<s>kitty你以后是不会有人帮你的</s>
<time>128_00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,600</time>
<s>我心里是一直有这句话的</s>
<time>129_00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,000</time>
<s>还有我觉得</s>
<time>130_00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,200</time>
<s>缺爱会让我对</s>
<time>131_00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,000</time>
<s>小小的爱</s>
<time>132_00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,400</time>
<s>就是我非常</s>
<time>133_00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,200</time>
<s>或者是非常容易</s>
<time>134_00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,800</time>
<s>在一段不好的关系里困住很久</s>
<time>135_00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,600</time>
<s>因为我总是会想着</s>
<time>136_00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,800</time>
<s>对方对我好的那一点点地方</s>
<time>137_00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,600</time>
<s>看他都给你一颗糖吃了</s>
<time>138_00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,800</time>
<s>你为什么</s>
<time>139_00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,400</time>
<s>要在乎他用叉你三四次</s>
<time>140_00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,400</time>
<s>我的爸爸妈妈是对我</s>
<time>141_00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,000</time>
<s>非常严格的人</s>
<time>142_00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,000</time>
<s>就是我会想起一些很恐怖的眼神</s>
<time>143_00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,200</time>
<s>我特别记得我当时中考考不好</s>
<time>144_00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,000</time>
<s>我会做噩梦</s>
<time>145_00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,600</time>
<s>梦见我s掉</s>
<time>146_00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,200</time>
<s>在梦里我s掉是一件非常高兴的事情</s>
<time>147_00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,600</time>
<s>因为第二天我就不用醒来</s>
<time>148_00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,200</time>
<s>不用面对我爸爸妈妈</s>
<time>149_00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,000</time>
<s>那种</s>
<time>150_00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,400</time>
<s>不说话</s>
<time>151_00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,000</time>
<s>唉声叹气</s>
<time>152_00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,000</time>
<s>我听到叹气声我就</s>
<time>153_00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,600</time>
<s>开始发抖你知道吗</s>
<time>154_00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,800</time>
<s>我已经忘记这些事情很久了</s>
<time>155_00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,000</time>
<s>因为自从我20岁</s>
<time>156_00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,200</time>
<s>独立自立自己挣钱</s>
<time>157_00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,600</time>
<s>不再靠家里之后</s>
<time>158_00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,000</time>
<s>我妈妈反而变成了</s>
<time>159_00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,400</time>
<s>从那种凶狠的人</s>
<time>160_00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,800</time>
<s>变成了一个</s>
<time>161_00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,000</time>
<s>软软的</s>
<time>162_00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000</time>
<s>小朋友</s>
<time>163_00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,800</time>
<s>她反而是变成了一个</s>
<time>164_00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,600</time>
<s>需要我去爱她的人</s>
<time>165_00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,600</time>
<s>这在我前18年的人生中</s>
<time>166_00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,000</time>
<s>是从来没有看见过的一面</s>
<time>167_00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,400</time>
<s>你觉得这有就稍微弥补一下</s>
<time>168_00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,000</time>
<s>你之前没有过的</s>
<time>169_00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,600</time>
<s>我觉得是弥补不了的</s>
<time>170_00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,200</time>
<s>因为他已经迟到</s>
<time>171_00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,600</time>
<s>他们不是一个相同的伤口</s>
<time>172_00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,600</time>
<s>我觉得是没有药可以治伤口的</s>
<time>173_00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,800</time>
<s>我觉得当我离开我的家庭</s>
<time>174_00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000</time>
<s>我读大学了</s>
<time>175_00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,200</time>
<s>我拥有了自己喜欢做的事情</s>
<time>176_00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,800</time>
<s>其实那些缺爱的影响在我身上</s>
<time>177_00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,200</time>
<s>没有留下太沉重的痕迹</s>
<time>178_00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,400</time>
<s>我已经是一个比较健康的状态</s>
<time>179_00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,800</time>
<s>一方面是我非常擅长逃避</s>
<time>180_00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,600</time>
<s>我非常擅长忘记</s>
<time>181_00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,800</time>
<s>就我比较擅长安慰自己</s>
<time>182_00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,400</time>
<s>我其实是有爱的代餐的</s>
<time>183_00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,800</time>
<s>我会想象</s>
<time>184_00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,000</time>
<s>因为那个时候看很多小说跟偶像剧</s>
<time>185_00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,400</time>
<s>就是我一个人坐公车上学</s>
<time>186_00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,800</time>
<s>我就开始想象我的身边有个男生</s>
<time>187_00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,400</time>
<s>有的时候甚至想象两个</s>
<time>188_00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,400</time>
<s>想象我身边有个男生</s>
<time>189_00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,200</time>
<s>会问我说今天心情怎么样</s>
<time>190_00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,400</time>
<s>然后我嘴里还自言自语</s>
<time>191_00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,000</time>
<s>就在跟我脑海里的男人对话</s>
<time>192_00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,400</time>
<s>当我没有爱的时候</s>
<time>193_00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,400</time>
<s>我就假装有个人在爱我</s>
<time>194_00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,200</time>
<s>但其实那个人是我想象出来</s>
<time>195_00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,400</time>
<s>在爱自己的一个方式</s>
<time>196_00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,800</time>
<s>我在想这是不是我的一种庆幸</s>
<time>197_00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,800</time>
<s>因为我从来没有过爱</s>
<time>198_00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,200</time>
<s>不乞求爱</s>
<time>199_00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,000</time>
<s>然后我又非常擅长付出爱</s>
<time>200_00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,400</time>
<s>所以我才侥幸地</s>
<time>201_00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,000</time>
<s>变成一个比较健康的人</s>
<time>202_00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:49,800</time>
<s>你不是侥幸</s>
<time>203_00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,000</time>
<s>我觉得你</s>
<time>204_00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:51,800</time>
<s>变成现在这个样子</s>
<time>205_00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,600</time>
<s>你之前经历的每一个过程</s>
<time>206_00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,600</time>
<s>都是你自己非常努力</s>
<time>207_00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,800</time>
<s>这是你自己得来的</s>
<time>208_00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,400</time>
<s>然后对自己的朋友也很好</s>
<time>209_00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,200</time>
<s>非常擅长照顾自己</s>
<time>210_00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,600</time>
<s>所以我觉得你真的做得很好</s>
<time>211_00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000</time>
<s>我觉得我是那种跟你不一样</s>
<time>212_00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,000</time>
<s>我爱自己的能力是很弱的那一种</s>
<time>213_00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,600</time>
<s>我大三的时候失恋</s>
<time>214_00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,800</time>
<s>然后我妈妈非常的心痛</s>
<time>215_00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,800</time>
<s>我先给你发个红包就这样子</s>
<time>216_00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,800</time>
<s>然后给我发红包</s>
<time>217_00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,200</time>
<s>我妈妈就说我真的很心痛</s>
<time>218_00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,000</time>
<s>我现在恨不得是我离婚了</s>
<time>219_00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000</time>
<s>好想飞到你身边</s>
<time>220_00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,600</time>
<s>陪在我的孩子旁边一起哭</s>
<time>221_00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,200</time>
<s>就是这样子</s>
<time>222_00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,000</time>
<s>我爸爸跟我哥哥听到这件事情</s>
<time>223_00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000</time>
<s>他们就开心到就当天晚上</s>
<time>224_00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,400</time>
<s>开了一瓶酒来庆祝</s>
<time>225_00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:29,800</time>
<s>因为他们觉得</s>
<time>226_00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,800</time>
<s>那个人对我很糟糕</s>
<time>227_00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,400</time>
<s>我有一个缺陷的地方</s>
<time>228_00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,400</time>
<s>就是我会没有办法接受</s>
<time>229_00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,200</time>
<s>别人不喜欢我这件事情</s>
<time>230_00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,000</time>
<s>我会觉得</s>
<time>231_00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,200</time>
<s>为什么会这样子</s>
<time>232_00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,600</time>
<s>为什么你会不爱我</s>
<time>233_00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,600</time>
<s>然后我就会一直钻牛角尖</s>
<time>234_00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,200</time>
<s>然后有一天我哥哥就跟我讲说</s>
<time>235_00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,600</time>
<s>我们这样保护你</s>
<time>236_00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,600</time>
<s>这样爱你</s>
<time>237_00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,400</time>
<s>不是为了让你长大之后</s>
<time>238_00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,000</time>
<s>去外面去被人家伤害的</s>
<time>239_00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:53,400</time>
<s>就是你</s>
<time>240_00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,400</time>
<s>你觉得你这样子对得起我们吗</s>
<time>241_00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,200</time>
<s>我大三的时候</s>
<time>242_00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,600</time>
<s>那个暑假</s>
<time>243_00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,800</time>
<s>我爸爸妈妈就给我安排了第一场相亲</s>
<time>244_00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,200</time>
<s>因为我大学是在武汉念书</s>
<time>245_00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,600</time>
<s>离家里非常的远</s>
<time>246_00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,000</time>
<s>他们就会觉得这四年是</s>
<time>247_00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,600</time>
<s>他们没有办法陪在我身边</s>
<time>248_00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,400</time>
<s>他们要找个人爱你</s>
<time>249_00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,400</time>
<s>所以他们就觉得</s>
<time>250_00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,800</time>
<s>我如果一毕业</s>
<time>251_00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,800</time>
<s>可能就大四毕业之后</s>
<time>252_00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,400</time>
<s>他们就觉得需要有一个人立刻去接手</s>
<time>253_00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,200</time>
<s>我身上跟我父母之间是有一条脐带的</s>
<time>254_00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,400</time>
<s>直到他们觉得我可以找到下一个</s>
<time>255_00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,400</time>
<s>可以接手照顾</s>
<time>256_00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,000</time>
<s>我这个责任的人出现</s>
<time>257_00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,800</time>
<s>然后那条脐带就会从他们身上断掉</s>
<time>258_00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:27,800</time>
<s>接到那个人身上</s>
<time>259_00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,000</time>
<s>我爱我</s>
<time>260_00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,800</time>
<s>我没有，我爱我这个选项</s>
<time>261_00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,600</time>
<s>在父母心里面只有</s>
<time>262_00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,200</time>
<s>我被父母爱</s>
<time>263_00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,200</time>
<s>我被我的兄弟姐妹爱着</s>
<time>264_00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,200</time>
<s>被我的朋友爱人爱着</s>
<time>265_00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,200</time>
<s>我是没有一个主动的选项的</s>
<time>266_00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:40,800</time>
<s>父母就觉得</s>
<time>267_00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,600</time>
<s>你没有在一个被保护</s>
<time>268_00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,600</time>
<s>被扶持被辅助的状态下</s>
<time>269_00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,000</time>
<s>你怎么可以活得很好呢</s>
<time>270_00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,200</time>
<s>所以我要验证我自己是坚硬的</s>
<time>271_00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,000</time>
<s>我首先要先向我自己验证</s>
<time>272_00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,800</time>
<s>我大学的时候</s>
<time>273_00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,200</time>
<s>我做了非常多</s>
<time>274_00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,800</time>
<s>很疯狂的事情</s>
<time>275_00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,600</time>
<s>包括我现在到工作也是</s>
<time>276_00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,800</time>
<s>我有时候会想要去故意让自己去吃苦</s>
<time>277_00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,400</time>
<s>去受一点伤</s>
<time>278_00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,600</time>
<s>来作为自我验证</s>
<time>279_00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,200</time>
<s>我要去验证自己</s>
<time>280_00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,600</time>
<s>是一个</s>
<time>281_00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:07,600</time>
<s>懂得爱自己的人</s>
<time>282_00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,800</time>
<s>这件事情可能我做起来</s>
<time>283_00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,600</time>
<s>要比其他人要更加吃力</s>
<time>284_00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,200</time>
<s>父母会主动屏蔽掉</s>
<time>285_00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,000</time>
<s>我是有独自生活能力的这一个事实</s>
<time>286_00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,400</time>
<s>如果要责怪的话</s>
<time>287_00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,800</time>
<s>肯定也是我没有足够有能力</s>
<time>288_00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,800</time>
<s>跟我父母没有关系</s>
<time>289_00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,600</time>
<s>我觉得他们做得已经很好了</s>
<time>290_00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,800</time>
<s>天呐我觉得好神奇</s>
<time>291_00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:23,400</time>
<s>原来</s>
<time>292_00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,600</time>
<s>有爱的人</s>
<time>293_00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,000</time>
<s>跟没有爱的人</s>
<time>294_00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,000</time>
<s>都是面前都是有一道题的</s>
<time>295_00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,400</time>
<s>你反而要去论证没有爱也可以</s>
<time>296_00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,000</time>
<s>我反而去论证我爱自己也可以</s>
<time>297_00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,800</time>
<s>我觉得我最挫败的一个地方</s>
<time>298_00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,000</time>
<s>就是我没有办法让我的爸爸妈妈</s>
<time>299_00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:39,800</time>
<s>像爱着我一样</s>
<time>300_00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:40,800</time>
<s>爱着他们自己</s>
<time>301_00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,600</time>
<s>我很想让他们可以关注自己</s>
<time>302_00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,600</time>
<s>然后回到自己的生活里面</s>
<time>303_00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,800</time>
<s>我想要</s>
<time>304_00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,600</time>
<s>培育父母的感觉</s>
<time>305_00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,200</time>
<s>那个时候我妈妈想要去练瑜伽</s>
<time>306_00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,400</time>
<s>我就很开心</s>
<time>307_00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,400</time>
<s>我说我给s给你报班什么的</s>
<time>308_00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,800</time>
<s>我甚至想让我爸爸去</s>
<time>309_00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,800</time>
<s>参加那种摄影班</s>
<time>310_00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,200</time>
<s>或者是书法班的那种</s>
<time>311_00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,000</time>
<s>我在付出爱的过程里面</s>
<time>312_00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,200</time>
<s>去得到我自己的</s>
<time>313_00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,800</time>
<s>个人价值</s>
<time>314_00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,400</time>
<s>我会有这样的一种感觉</s>
<time>315_00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,000</time>
<s>付出爱</s>
<time>316_00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,800</time>
<s>也是有不同情况的</s>
<time>317_00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,400</time>
<s>刚开始的时候</s>
<time>318_00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,000</time>
<s>我觉得我付出爱</s>
<time>319_00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,600</time>
<s>为了交换</s>
<time>320_00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,400</time>
<s>然后我也慢慢地进化到了一种</s>
<time>321_00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,400</time>
<s>当我去爱别人的时候</s>
<time>322_00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,800</time>
<s>我也完全不care</s>
<time>323_00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,600</time>
<s>是多少</s>
<time>324_00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,200</time>
<s>大小是怎么样子</s>
<time>325_00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,000</time>
<s>重不重</s>
<time>326_00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,200</time>
<s>这件事情是</s>
<time>327_00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,200</time>
<s>我从你身上学习到的</s>
<time>328_00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,600</time>
<s>你可以找一个更好的学习对象</s>
<time>329_00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,200</time>
<s>有一次是我脚崴到了就走不了路</s>
<time>330_00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,200</time>
<s>然后那个时候林聪明</s>
<time>331_00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,000</time>
<s>就跟她的另一半</s>
<time>332_00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,400</time>
<s>就在我家陪着我陪到两三点</s>
<time>333_00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,800</time>
<s>又开着车去医院</s>
<time>334_00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,000</time>
<s>把那个病看了</s>
<time>335_00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,000</time>
<s>如果是我一个人</s>
<time>336_00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,200</time>
<s>悄悄地把脚崴了</s>
<time>337_00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,600</time>
<s>我就会悄悄地也不去医院</s>
<time>338_00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,800</time>
<s>就在家躺着</s>
<time>339_00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,400</time>
<s>其实我还有点蛮好奇说</s>
<time>340_00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:53,800</time>
<s>到底</s>
<time>341_00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,200</time>
<s>有个人来爱你的时候</s>
<time>342_00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,800</time>
<s>你的反应应该是什么样子的</s>
<time>343_00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,400</time>
<s>可以写一下日记那种程度</s>
<time>344_00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,800</time>
<s>今天他对我很好</s>
<time>345_00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:01,600</time>
<s>然后你就突然想</s>
<time>346_00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,200</time>
<s>我也想要为他做某一件事情</s>
<time>347_00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,600</time>
<s>我跟别人一样有了我会有多久呢</s>
<time>348_00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,200</time>
<s>它什么时候会消失</s>
<time>349_00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,200</time>
<s>它会一直有吗</s>
<time>350_00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,600</time>
<s>但其实这些问题都不应该存在的</s>
<time>351_00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,200</time>
<s>你可能可以直接判断</s>
<time>352_00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,400</time>
<s>这就是现阶段的我</s>
<time>353_00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,800</time>
<s>我还是会害怕收到爱</s>
<time>354_00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,400</time>
<s>我觉得我们今天聊这个话题</s>
<time>355_00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,600</time>
<s>也完全不希望大家提到</s>
<time>356_00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,800</time>
<s>自己什么原生家庭</s>
<time>357_00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,600</time>
<s>对自己造成的各种影响</s>
<time>358_00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,400</time>
<s>因为</s>
<time>359_00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,600</time>
<s>我们每个人长大的意义</s>
<time>360_00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,600</time>
<s>是我们可以</s>
<time>361_00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,200</time>
<s>真正的独立之后</s>
<time>362_00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,400</time>
<s>做任何事情</s>
<time>363_00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,000</time>
<s>是出自于真心</s>
<time>364_00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,400</time>
<s>而不是讨好</s>
<time>365_00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,600</time>
<s>是出自于爱</s>
<time>366_00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,600</time>
<s>而不是恐惧</s>
<time>367_00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,200</time>
<s>长大之后可能每个人都需要</s>
<time>368_00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,600</time>
<s>忘记伤害</s>
<time>369_00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,600</time>
<s>可能你就是要去建立自己</s>
<time>370_00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,800</time>
<s>你要去怎么对待别人</s>
<time>371_00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,000</time>
<s>然后别人怎么对待你</s>
<time>372_00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,800</time>
<s>是好或者是不好的标准</s>
<time>373_00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,400</time>
<s>但是我觉得大家可以</s>
<time>374_00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,200</time>
<s>更放松的一点就是</s>
<time>375_00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,800</time>
<s>哪怕你现在是很紧绷</s>
<time>376_00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,200</time>
<s>甚至是对爱感到恐惧的这种状态</s>
<time>377_00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,800</time>
<s>不要责备自己</s>
<time>378_00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,600</time>
<s>我觉得我们没有一个人</s>
<time>379_00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,600</time>
<s>可以非常自信地说</s>
<time>380_00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,800</time>
<s>我是一个健全的人</s>
<time>381_00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,200</time>
<s>我不相信这一点的</s>
<time>382_00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,800</time>
<s>既然每个人都是有尚未健全</s>
<time>383_00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,800</time>
<s>或者是需要被修复的地方</s>
<time>384_00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:18,800</time>
<s>那也不要紧</s>
<time>385_00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,800</time>
<s>我们可以给自己时间</s>
<time>386_00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,800</time>
<s>也不用要求自己拿100分</s>
<time>387_00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,200</time>
<s>就像我们的栏目名字</s>
<time>388_00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,000</time>
<s>我们就叫</s>
<time>389_00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,800</time>
<s>我们今天就先聊到这里</s>
<time>390_00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,600</time>
<s>如果你有其他想要</s>
<time>391_00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,800</time>
<s>听到我们聊天的话题</s>
<time>392_00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,600</time>
<s>也欢迎你在评论区留言告诉我们</s>
<time>393_00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,200</time>
<s>我是林聪明我是kitty</s>
<time>394_00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,000</time>
<s>拜拜下次见</s>
