<time>29_00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:51,875</time>
<s>大家好我是嘻嘻</s>
<time>30_00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,125</time>
<s>今天坐在我身边的这两位</s>
<time>31_00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:54,583</time>
<s>是我的大学室友</s>
<time>32_00:00:54,583 --> 00:00:55,625</time>
<s>11年之前的夏天</s>
<time>33_00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,500</time>
<s>我们三个人走出同一间宿舍</s>
<time>34_00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,542</time>
<s>开始了自己的人生</s>
<time>35_00:00:58,542 --> 00:00:59,583</time>
<s>我们去了不同的城市</s>
<time>36_00:00:59,583 --> 00:01:01,042</time>
<s>做了完全不一样的人生选择</s>
<time>37_00:01:01,042 --> 00:01:02,292</time>
<s>（今天聊聊）这些人生选择</s>
<time>38_00:01:02,292 --> 00:01:03,333</time>
<s>会怎样的影响一个人</s>
<time>39_00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:06,875</time>
<s>姓名</s>
<time>40_00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:07,708</time>
<s>嘻嘻</s>
<time>41_00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:08,542</time>
<s>佳佳</s>
<time>42_00:01:08,542 --> 00:01:09,167</time>
<s>世中</s>
<time>43_00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:09,792</time>
<s>年龄</s>
<time>44_00:01:09,792 --> 00:01:10,625</time>
<s>三十二</s>
<time>45_00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:12,083</time>
<s>三十三三十三</s>
<time>46_00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:12,708</time>
<s>大学</s>
<time>47_00:01:12,708 --> 00:01:15,625</time>
<s>北京大学</s>
<time>48_00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:16,250</time>
<s>专业</s>
<time>49_00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,750</time>
<s>文科实验班转新闻方向</s>
<time>50_00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:20,417</time>
<s>理科实验班转</s>
<time>51_00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,917</time>
<s>政治哲学经济方向</s>
<time>52_00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,792</time>
<s>法学院转中文系</s>
<time>53_00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:26,042</time>
<s>宿舍房号</s>
<time>54_00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:26,875</time>
<s>250</s>
<time>55_00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:27,708</time>
<s>哈哈哈哈哈</s>
<time>56_00:01:27,917 --> 00:01:29,167</time>
<s>现在的行业</s>
<time>57_00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:30,208</time>
<s>内容和营销</s>
<time>58_00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:32,708</time>
<s>法律服务行业销售</s>
<time>59_00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:33,958</time>
<s>法律服务行业</s>
<time>60_00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:34,583</time>
<s>岗位</s>
<time>61_00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:35,417</time>
<s>内容策划</s>
<time>62_00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:36,042</time>
<s>销售主管</s>
<time>63_00:01:36,042 --> 00:01:37,292</time>
<s>知识产权律师</s>
<time>64_00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,333</time>
<s>婚育狀况</s>
<time>65_00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:41,667</time>
<s>已婚已育</s>
<time>66_00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,750</time>
<s>30岁时银行卡上有多少钱</s>
<time>67_00:01:43,958 --> 00:01:46,250</time>
<s>7位数7位数7位数</s>
<time>68_00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:08,958</time>
<s>7.没有轻易换行业</s>
<time>69_00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:33,958</time>
<s>7.加入国内创业国队开拓海外市场</s>
<time>70_00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:58,333</time>
<s>…-時土公T心</s>
<time>71_00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:02,292</time>
<s>8去于土公T心</s>
<time>72_00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:05,625</time>
<s>嘻嘻是一个</s>
<time>73_00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:07,708</time>
<s>非常敢拼的人</s>
<time>74_00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:10,417</time>
<s>嗯追名逐利以说吗</s>
<time>75_00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:12,917</time>
<s>可以但是她的逻辑是非常自洽的</s>
<time>76_00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:15,208</time>
<s>世中是 溫婉如王</s>
<time>77_00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:18,333</time>
<s>她从来不会有特別那种的事情发生</s>
<time>78_00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:21,458</time>
<s>但是内是就是腳柔且强大的</s>
<time>79_00:03:21,458 --> 00:03:23,542</time>
<s>嘻嘻在我所有认识的人里面</s>
<time>80_00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,625</time>
<s>是最价值自洽的那个</s>
<time>81_00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:28,542</time>
<s>并且有能力去完成这种自洽</s>
<time>82_00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,458</time>
<s>佳佳是我认识的人里面最有思想的</s>
<time>83_00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:33,958</time>
<s>保有自己的清醒和理性的</s>
<time>84_00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:36,667</time>
<s>态度去去面对审视生活对对</s>
<time>85_00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,125</time>
<s>我的现在的人格建设</s>
<time>86_00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:39,792</time>
<s>其实是从大学建设过来的</s>
<time>87_00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:42,708</time>
<s>我现在的人格建设模板起点是佳佳</s>
<time>88_00:03:42,708 --> 00:03:44,583</time>
<s>你在我身上看到了一些闪光点</s>
<time>89_00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,042</time>
<s>然后你把那些闪光点</s>
<time>90_00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:47,500</time>
<s>就是想嫁接到自己的身上</s>
<time>91_00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,958</time>
<s>无限放大对对</s>
<time>92_00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:52,708</time>
<s>世中是一个我所见到的</s>
<time>93_00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,417</time>
<s>高学历人群里面最善良的那种人</s>
<time>94_00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:57,708</time>
<s>这种非常善良的精英</s>
<time>95_00:03:57,708 --> 00:04:00,208</time>
<s>其实就是这个社会可以依靠的</s>
<time>96_00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:01,458</time>
<s>最稳定的那批人</s>
<time>97_00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,417</time>
<s>毕业的就是前一天晚上</s>
<time>98_00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:07,083</time>
<s>我们三个人一起在</s>
<time>99_00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:07,917</time>
<s>西门鸡翅</s>
<time>100_00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,417</time>
<s>坐在那个街边小小凳子上面</s>
<time>101_00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,667</time>
<s>拿着鸡超在那啃</s>
<time>102_00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,333</time>
<s>当时的感觉是好像明天</s>
<time>103_00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:13,958</time>
<s>还会这样</s>
<time>104_00:04:13,958 --> 00:04:16,458</time>
<s>#段有明显的 感觉好像要散</s>
<time>105_00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:18,750</time>
<s>回想起来大学里面最宝贵的是</s>
<time>106_00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:19,792</time>
<s>竟然还有</s>
<time>107_00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:20,625</time>
<s>这么多人</s>
<time>108_00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:21,667</time>
<s>可以跟我计论</s>
<time>109_00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,958</time>
<s>一些我现在无法和別人时论的事情</s>
<time>110_00:04:23,958 --> 00:04:27,083</time>
<s>不管是学科类的、学术类的、书本类的</s>
<time>111_00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,958</time>
<s>彼此可以对话的这种能力</s>
<time>112_00:04:28,958 --> 00:04:30,625</time>
<s>因为大学对我来说眞的很重要</s>
<time>113_00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:32,083</time>
<s>就是成为一个成年人的开始</s>
<time>114_00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,958</time>
<s>因为我大学之前的人生只有一个目标</s>
<time>115_00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:34,792</time>
<s>是考大学</s>
<time>116_00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:36,458</time>
<s>所以我第一次走入宿舍</s>
<time>117_00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:38,125</time>
<s>去洗衣房洗衣服</s>
<time>118_00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,583</time>
<s>间到那个肥宫的味道</s>
<time>119_00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,208</time>
<s>那个味道</s>
<time>120_00:04:40,208 --> 00:04:42,083</time>
<s>都是我这一辈子觉得非常幸福的味道</s>
<time>121_00:04:42,292 --> 00:04:43,750</time>
<s>现在我可能接近于一个比较</s>
<time>122_00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,792</time>
<s>稳定的狀态</s>
<time>123_00:04:44,792 --> 00:04:45,417</time>
<s>但我知道</s>
<time>124_00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,917</time>
<s>这一切的起点其实来自干大学且</s>
<time>125_00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:50,208</time>
<s>大学的宿舍生活其实就是</s>
<time>126_00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,292</time>
<s>塑造你价值观很重要的一部分</s>
<time>127_00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,167</time>
<s>你身边的几个女性伙伴（室友）</s>
<time>128_00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:57,292</time>
<s>是你成为一个成年人路上很重要的一部分</s>
<time>129_00:04:57,292 --> 00:04:58,958</time>
<s>到目前为止250这个数字</s>
<time>130_00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:01,042</time>
<s>我一听到这个数字我都会很开心</s>
<time>131_00:05:01,042 --> 00:05:03,333</time>
<s>当时有一个谁的父亲还说了一句</s>
<time>132_00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:04,792</time>
<s>说你们四个人在这就是</s>
<time>133_00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:05,625</time>
<s>干金【4个250是1000）</s>
<time>134_00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:06,667</time>
<s>我们宿舍是有四个人</s>
<time>135_00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:07,292</time>
<s>但另外一个人</s>
<time>136_00:05:07,292 --> 00:05:09,375</time>
<s>因为她也非业之 后就一直在美国</s>
<time>137_00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:10,208</time>
<s>希望她下次回国的时候</s>
<time>138_00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:11,458</time>
<s>我们四个人可以坐下来（聊天）</s>
<time>139_00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:16,458</time>
<s>只能免君子之交淡如水啊</s>
<time>140_00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:20,417</time>
<s>眞的很一会主动的联絲对方</s>
<time>141_00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:22,917</time>
<s>因为确实生活开始沒有了交集</s>
<time>142_00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:25,208</time>
<s>我们会彼此告知非常重要的人生决定吧</s>
<time>143_00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,083</time>
<s>有的是非常惊就令人惊讶的</s>
<time>144_00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:29,583</time>
<s>但我们在沒有任何交集的情况F</s>
<time>145_00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:31,042</time>
<s>其实马上能接受</s>
<time>146_00:05:31,042 --> 00:05:32,917</time>
<s>对马上能进入到对方的语境</s>
<time>147_00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:33,750</time>
<s>是这个东西</s>
<time>148_00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,375</time>
<s>支撑着我</s>
<time>149_00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,458</time>
<s>就这些年一直在做非常惊悚的决定</s>
<time>150_00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:38,542</time>
<s>你知道就是世界上有几个人她其实会</s>
<time>151_00:05:38,542 --> 00:05:40,417</time>
<s>你第一秒就懂你为什么会做这个决定</s>
<time>152_00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:41,667</time>
<s>所以你不用特別害怕</s>
<time>153_00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:44,792</time>
<s>这十年大家的联务是沒有那么高频的</s>
<time>154_00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:46,875</time>
<s>重要的人生的节点上面</s>
<time>155_00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:48,750</time>
<s>我们会彼此有一个信息的同步</s>
<time>156_00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,417</time>
<s>我有了男朋友或者要结婚的时候</s>
<time>157_00:05:50,625 --> 00:05:52,500</time>
<s>我就需要帶着他跟嘻嘻见面</s>
<time>158_00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,125</time>
<s>或者佳佳</s>
<time>159_00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:55,208</time>
<s>把男朋友带回国的时候也要跟我们见</s>
<time>160_00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:56,250</time>
<s>我们对这种</s>
<time>161_00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:58,750</time>
<s>来自彼此的肯定是有需求的</s>
<time>162_00:05:58,750 --> 00:05:59,583</time>
<s>我会在</s>
<time>163_00:05:59,583 --> 00:06:01,667</time>
<s>做一个事情的时候会去想如果是你们</s>
<time>164_00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,125</time>
<s>你们会是怎么样做的</s>
<time>165_00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:04,167</time>
<s>你们会不会恐惧</s>
<time>166_00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:06,875</time>
<s>如我觉得你也是就不会</s>
<time>167_00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,583</time>
<s>很care什么的那我也会更有勇气一些</s>
<time>168_00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:10,833</time>
<s>我觉得大学的朋友对我来说</s>
<time>169_00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:11,875</time>
<s>跟大学教育是一样的</s>
<time>170_00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:13,125</time>
<s>大学教育我觉得他的本质是</s>
<time>171_00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:13,958</time>
<s>我学到了一些</s>
<time>172_00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:15,833</time>
<s>我一辈子都无法直接用上</s>
<time>173_00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,500</time>
<s>但会影响我一辈子的东西</s>
<time>174_00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:19,375</time>
<s>大学朋友对我来兌就是呢</s>
<time>175_00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:20,625</time>
<s>我这辈子可能再无法</s>
<time>176_00:06:20,625 --> 00:06:22,708</time>
<s>就是在日常交往中非常密切</s>
<time>177_00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:24,167</time>
<s>但他会影响我一辈子的人</s>
<time>178_00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:25,625</time>
<s>多近的距离他沒有那么重要</s>
<time>179_00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:26,458</time>
<s>重要的是</s>
<time>180_00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:28,750</time>
<s>我们在非常重要的价值观成型的时候</s>
<time>181_00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:29,583</time>
<s>是站在一起的</s>
<time>182_00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:31,875</time>
<s>大家非常理解你是如何成为你的</s>
<time>183_00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,042</time>
<s>他给我带来了一个自信的源头</s>
<time>184_00:06:36,042 --> 00:06:37,083</time>
<s>当你生活中遇到一些</s>
<time>185_00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,125</time>
<s>困难的事情的时候</s>
<time>186_00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:39,792</time>
<s>你会说嗯北大我都考得上</s>
<time>187_00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:41,042</time>
<s>这个我大概也搞得定</s>
<time>188_00:06:41,042 --> 00:06:42,292</time>
<s>或者说当你觉得</s>
<time>189_00:06:42,292 --> 00:06:43,750</time>
<s>你不如这个人的时候</s>
<time>190_00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:45,625</time>
<s>你会觉得说我可以的</s>
<time>191_00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:47,083</time>
<s>因为我做过很难的事情</s>
<time>192_00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:48,958</time>
<s>第二个的话我觉得是他是我的</s>
<time>193_00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,000</time>
<s>很多价值观</s>
<time>194_00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,250</time>
<s>就是要進模式的起点</s>
<time>195_00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:53,333</time>
<s>对于理性常台的这种底层的东西</s>
<time>196_00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:54,583</time>
<s>对他建构起来了</s>
<time>197_00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:55,417</time>
<s>也是我未来</s>
<time>198_00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:57,917</time>
<s>就是十年看世界的眼光的来处</s>
<time>199_00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,958</time>
<s>我特別同意世中</s>
<time>200_00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:01,042</time>
<s>后面的这个就是带来看世界的（视角）</s>
<time>201_00:07:01,042 --> 00:07:02,500</time>
<s>我感觉北大给我的是</s>
<time>202_00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:05,000</time>
<s>像看这个世界的不同的lens</s>
<time>203_00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,042</time>
<s>那个透镜一样</s>
<time>204_00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:08,125</time>
<s>这个世界可以用经济学家的视角看</s>
<time>205_00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:11,042</time>
<s>也可以用哲学的视角看</s>
<time>206_00:07:11,042 --> 00:07:13,125</time>
<s>这个时候你会发现大家观点的不同</s>
<time>207_00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:14,167</time>
<s>他的源头</s>
<time>208_00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,250</time>
<s>可能只是因为视角的不同</s>
<time>209_00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:17,500</time>
<s>和哲学基点的不同</s>
<time>210_00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:19,792</time>
<s>我们学院一开始是段有专业的</s>
<time>211_00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:21,667</time>
<s>大家可以选自己感兴趣的课</s>
<time>212_00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,750</time>
<s>但是最后都要固定一个方向</s>
<time>213_00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:26,250</time>
<s>那大家都是要为这个选择负责的</s>
<time>214_00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:27,292</time>
<s>我们开始意识到</s>
<time>215_00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:28,333</time>
<s>做一个成年人</s>
<time>216_00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:30,417</time>
<s>要为自己的这个选择负责</s>
<time>217_00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,458</time>
<s>他很可能直接</s>
<time>218_00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:33,542</time>
<s>或间接的影响了你未来的走向</s>
<time>219_00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:34,375</time>
<s>我觉得在北大</s>
<time>220_00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:36,875</time>
<s>看到的这些老师上过的这些课</s>
<time>221_00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:38,958</time>
<s>他不是一个马上能立竿见影的东西</s>
<time>222_00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:42,500</time>
<s>但他好像会变成你人生里的一块磁铁</s>
<time>223_00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,125</time>
<s>因为我们的人生</s>
<time>224_00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:44,167</time>
<s>都是在一个平靜大海上</s>
<time>225_00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,417</time>
<s>股有坐标的一艘船</s>
<time>226_00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:46,875</time>
<s>但因为在北大的这个东西</s>
<time>227_00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:48,333</time>
<s>我好像建立了一块磁铁</s>
<time>228_00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,417</time>
<s>这块磁铁是在遙远的临岸线上</s>
<time>229_00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:52,500</time>
<s>让你的船能慢慢地往那个方向去开</s>
<time>230_00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:55,208</time>
<s>当时我感觉到的好是非常非常践的</s>
<time>231_00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,042</time>
<s>写在简历上对</s>
<time>232_00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,292</time>
<s>我也去去找工作</s>
<time>233_00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:58,750</time>
<s>包括现在我还享受这种好处</s>
<time>234_00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,000</time>
<s>是我去见客戸的时候</s>
<time>235_00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,833</time>
<s>我们是校友</s>
<time>236_00:08:00,833 --> 00:08:02,292</time>
<s>这些好处是稍纵即逝的</s>
<time>237_00:08:02,292 --> 00:08:02,917</time>
<s>我反而是觉得</s>
<time>238_00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,417</time>
<s>就是那块磁铁对我来说是很重要的</s>
<time>239_00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:09,375</time>
<s>我变得太看得起我自己</s>
<time>240_00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:12,292</time>
<s>这种高估一个是自己会对自己很苛刻</s>
<time>241_00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,125</time>
<s>另外一个是</s>
<time>242_00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,167</time>
<s>变得非常的傲慢</s>
<time>243_00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:16,042</time>
<s>年轻的时候改有付出大大的代价</s>
<time>244_00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:17,292</time>
<s>却得到了世俗意义上的</s>
<time>245_00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:18,333</time>
<s>成功的人的通病</s>
<time>246_00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:20,000</time>
<s>像找刚才说的我和自己的平庸</s>
<time>247_00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,500</time>
<s>在可能大一的下学期就达到了和解</s>
<time>248_00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,167</time>
<s>因为我见到很多优秀的人</s>
<time>249_00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,833</time>
<s>但是其他人对我的预期比如说</s>
<time>250_00:08:25,833 --> 00:08:26,875</time>
<s>我的父母</s>
<time>251_00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:27,708</time>
<s>我的亲人</s>
<time>252_00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,750</time>
<s>他们对我的预期</s>
<time>253_00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:31,042</time>
<s>依然是和北大就是匹配的</s>
<time>254_00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:32,500</time>
<s>那我就要不停的</s>
<time>255_00:08:32,917 --> 00:08:34,583</time>
<s>试图降低別人对我的预期</s>
<time>256_00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,250</time>
<s>让他们不要那么高看我</s>
<time>257_00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,542</time>
<s>北大人的人生最要面临的其实就是</s>
<time>258_00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:39,792</time>
<s>如果我我的人生到现在</s>
<time>259_00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:41,458</time>
<s>我只剩下北大这一件事情可说</s>
<time>260_00:08:41,458 --> 00:08:43,125</time>
<s>就是人生最大的失败</s>
<time>261_00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:45,625</time>
<s>成功的那一下可能你会觉得很快乐</s>
<time>262_00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,917</time>
<s>但他也一定会是一个陷阱啊</s>
<time>263_00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:48,542</time>
<s>当你</s>
<time>264_00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:50,417</time>
<s>在非常年轻的时候得到了很多的东西</s>
<time>265_00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:51,042</time>
<s>的时候</s>
<time>266_00:08:51,042 --> 00:08:53,125</time>
<s>那就意味着你以后的人生可能很可能</s>
<time>267_00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:53,958</time>
<s>只能往下走</s>
<time>268_00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:57,708</time>
<s>我沒有特別</s>
<time>269_00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,000</time>
<s>主动的去向別人表达我对他的爱意</s>
<time>270_00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,667</time>
<s>这是其实我的一个人生遗憾</s>
<time>271_00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:02,917</time>
<s>一定要谈恋爱</s>
<time>272_00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:03,750</time>
<s>中国的教育</s>
<time>273_00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,042</time>
<s>还是把大部分的时间都花在了</s>
<time>274_00:09:06,042 --> 00:09:08,333</time>
<s>就是教育你如何学数学上面</s>
<time>275_00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:09,792</time>
<s>可是人生后面</s>
<time>276_00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:12,292</time>
<s>你用到数学的场合比你</s>
<time>277_00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,000</time>
<s>相亲的场合可能要少很多很多</s>
<time>278_00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,042</time>
<s>但是我们却沒有</s>
<time>279_00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:18,542</time>
<s>建立一个自己的择偶标准和体系</s>
<time>280_00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:20,000</time>
<s>我们的择偶标准都是这种</s>
<time>281_00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,125</time>
<s>不成型的泛滥的影视剧来散播给你的</s>
<time>282_00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,417</time>
<s>而我觉得一定要通过自己的</s>
<time>283_00:09:25,417 --> 00:09:27,083</time>
<s>恋爱经历来判断</s>
<time>284_00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,333</time>
<s>我经常会和我的妹妹们</s>
<time>285_00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:30,000</time>
<s>她们就是年轻一些的说</s>
<time>286_00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:31,458</time>
<s>最好可以开始早恋</s>
<time>287_00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:32,500</time>
<s>所以你家里对你的要求是</s>
<time>288_00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,333</time>
<s>大学都不能谈恋爱</s>
<time>289_00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:34,583</time>
<s>这是我自己对我自己要求</s>
<time>290_00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:35,625</time>
<s>这就很荒岁了</s>
<time>291_00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:36,875</time>
<s>我对自己有非常多</s>
<time>292_00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:39,375</time>
<s>很苛刻而沒有什么原道理的要求</s>
<time>293_00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,250</time>
<s>就比如说不能有婚前***</s>
<time>294_00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:42,708</time>
<s>就是我记得印象特別深</s>
<time>295_00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:43,750</time>
<s>嘻嘻在那个</s>
<time>296_00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,792</time>
<s>宿舍里跟我聊到这个事情</s>
<time>297_00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,083</time>
<s>她震惊干我就是大清（的价值观）</s>
<time>298_00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:49,792</time>
<s>哈哈哈哈</s>
<time>299_00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,667</time>
<s>然后我也震惊干她的震惊</s>
<time>300_00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:54,375</time>
<s>因为我以为这是大家的共识是吗</s>
<time>301_00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:56,250</time>
<s>我们要学习的是如何安全</s>
<time>302_00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:57,708</time>
<s>而不是如何避免</s>
<time>303_00:09:57,708 --> 00:09:58,542</time>
<s>对对嗯</s>
<time>304_00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:00,625</time>
<s>就是我把那个门关的特別靠里</s>
<time>305_00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:03,333</time>
<s>就是你你打源头上切掉了很多问题</s>
<time>306_00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,208</time>
<s>嗯但这些问题可能是你生活中</s>
<time>307_00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:07,292</time>
<s>未来还是需要去面对和解决的</s>
<time>308_00:10:07,292 --> 00:10:08,750</time>
<s>你把它掐的太早了</s>
<time>309_00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,833</time>
<s>以后你就其实是回避了嗯</s>
<time>310_00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:12,083</time>
<s>我大学后悔的事情就是</s>
<time>311_00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,125</time>
<s>我花太多时间写论文</s>
<time>312_00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,583</time>
<s>然后考试背书</s>
<time>313_00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,458</time>
<s>这些不叫做学问就学不到</s>
<time>314_00:10:17,292 --> 00:10:18,333</time>
<s>我觉得我大学就做得</s>
<time>315_00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:19,583</time>
<s>所有东西都是为了一个高的绩点</s>
<time>316_00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:20,833</time>
<s>就一直在制造垃圾</s>
<time>317_00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:21,875</time>
<s>我的大学学习方法</s>
<time>318_00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:23,125</time>
<s>跟我高中并股有任何区別</s>
<time>319_00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:24,792</time>
<s>我在一个那么好的地方</s>
<time>320_00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,292</time>
<s>但是我沒有培养任自己任何时关的学术素养</s>
<time>321_00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:29,167</time>
<s>我当时也非常看重绩点</s>
<time>322_00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,875</time>
<s>我知道你是是在法学院上念个第一</s>
<time>323_00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:33,958</time>
<s>含不爽的又去中文系含了个第一</s>
<time>324_00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:36,250</time>
<s>哈哈沒有第一但是确实挺高</s>
<time>325_00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,125</time>
<s>不要care你的绩点 ok 但是也別桂科</s>
<time>326_00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,417</time>
<s>我第二个【日临】我就是为了我的简历好看</s>
<time>327_00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:41,667</time>
<s>我去做了很多实习</s>
<time>328_00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:42,917</time>
<s>社图什么都是垃圾</s>
<time>329_00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:44,792</time>
<s>那些实习我非常不喜欢</s>
<time>330_00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:46,250</time>
<s>那些社困也完全沒有价值</s>
<time>331_00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:47,500</time>
<s>如果现在我可以重来</s>
<time>332_00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,750</time>
<s>我只加入一个社困</s>
<time>333_00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,208</time>
<s>这是跳舞社国</s>
<time>334_00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:51,250</time>
<s>但是你你不觉得就是</s>
<time>335_00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,333</time>
<s>其实就像刚才佳佳稅的这个选择</s>
<time>336_00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,583</time>
<s>你必须要看到很多东西</s>
<time>337_00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:56,458</time>
<s>然后你才知道哪个是更重要的</s>
<time>338_00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:57,917</time>
<s>起码你知道看上去很fancy的东西</s>
<time>339_00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,375</time>
<s>其实一无是处啊对</s>
<time>340_00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:00,417</time>
<s>你知道这个东西是垃圾</s>
<time>341_00:11:00,417 --> 00:11:01,458</time>
<s>也是一种价值的</s>
<time>342_00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:03,958</time>
<s>对年轻就是用来分辨垃圾的对</s>
<time>343_00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:05,000</time>
<s>爱情也是</s>
<time>344_00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,250</time>
<s>渣男对有垃圾</s>
<time>345_00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:11,458</time>
<s>念完研究生回来然后做实习生的工作</s>
<time>346_00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:13,125</time>
<s>一个月拿着4,000的工资</s>
<time>347_00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:14,583</time>
<s>住在出租屋</s>
<time>348_00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:15,625</time>
<s>跟前男友分手了</s>
<time>349_00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:16,667</time>
<s>我想去求复合</s>
<time>350_00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:17,917</time>
<s>发现他已经结婚了</s>
<time>351_00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:19,375</time>
<s>有一天下地铁</s>
<time>352_00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,833</time>
<s>走回家的路上</s>
<time>353_00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,500</time>
<s>碰到了一个持刀的**犯</s>
<time>354_00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:25,417</time>
<s>好不容易就是跟他周旋然后摆脫了他</s>
<time>355_00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:28,125</time>
<s>光着脚冲进出租屋的那一刻</s>
<time>356_00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:32,083</time>
<s>就是我都不知道该找谁嗯的时候</s>
<time>357_00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:33,750</time>
<s>这是我的人生的绝望之谷吧</s>
<time>358_00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:34,792</time>
<s>博士期间呢</s>
<time>359_00:11:34,792 --> 00:11:36,667</time>
<s>我的学术做的不是很顺利</s>
<time>360_00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,708</time>
<s>然后我的课题呢</s>
<time>361_00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,167</time>
<s>其他的做学术的人</s>
<time>362_00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:40,833</time>
<s>就是先发了博士论文</s>
<time>363_00:11:41,042 --> 00:11:42,292</time>
<s>这样导致呢我就</s>
<time>364_00:11:42,292 --> 00:11:45,208</time>
<s>比较长时间做的课题就要改了对</s>
<time>365_00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:47,292</time>
<s>你当时本来是想走学术道路的对</s>
<time>366_00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:49,167</time>
<s>所以就因为这个事放弃了</s>
<time>367_00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,208</time>
<s>其实在大学的时候</s>
<time>368_00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:52,083</time>
<s>学术道路还是比较笃定的</s>
<time>369_00:11:52,083 --> 00:11:54,375</time>
<s>會经一度被人羡慕就羡慕就是在干你</s>
<time>370_00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:56,042</time>
<s>你对未来想的好像很明白</s>
<time>371_00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,708</time>
<s>坚持了多年之后呢</s>
<time>372_00:11:57,708 --> 00:11:59,792</time>
<s>嗯他变得那么明白了的时候</s>
<time>373_00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:01,250</time>
<s>其实比较痛苦的对</s>
<time>374_00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:04,167</time>
<s>所以用了一个上较啟烈的方式就是</s>
<time>375_00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,000</time>
<s>就停止了</s>
<time>376_00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,500</time>
<s>这个对相相当干是一种自救</s>
<time>377_00:12:07,917 --> 00:12:10,625</time>
<s>从一个比较低落仰郁的狀态中</s>
<time>378_00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:12,917</time>
<s>把自己给先用一种方法捞出来</s>
<time>379_00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:15,208</time>
<s>现在成熟了以后再去回想</s>
<time>380_00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,292</time>
<s>其实有非常多的反思</s>
<time>381_00:12:17,292 --> 00:12:19,167</time>
<s>如果我再读一次博士会不会读下来</s>
<time>382_00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:20,208</time>
<s>我想我会的</s>
<time>383_00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:22,292</time>
<s>就是读博士并沒有那么需要才华</s>
<time>384_00:12:22,292 --> 00:12:23,958</time>
<s>我当时对这个点很苛刻</s>
<time>385_00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:26,042</time>
<s>就觉得说我是不是有这个才非</s>
<time>386_00:12:26,042 --> 00:12:27,083</time>
<s>去读博士</s>
<time>387_00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:28,333</time>
<s>留名青史</s>
<time>388_00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:29,792</time>
<s>当时的理解非常狭隘嗯</s>
<time>389_00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,250</time>
<s>读博士其实是一个</s>
<time>390_00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,333</time>
<s>日久去坚持的一件事情</s>
<time>391_00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:35,208</time>
<s>它实际上是你选择这条道路</s>
<time>392_00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:36,042</time>
<s>你就往下走</s>
<time>393_00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:38,125</time>
<s>就是最朴索的龟免赛跑的故事</s>
<time>394_00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,583</time>
<s>然后你最后发现其实</s>
<time>395_00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,667</time>
<s>能做到那只乌龟就已经很不容易了</s>
<time>396_00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:42,292</time>
<s>是的是的</s>
<time>397_00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:43,958</time>
<s>我一直觉得说才非是一个超膀</s>
<time>398_00:12:43,958 --> 00:12:45,208</time>
<s>你必须插上一个翅膀</s>
<time>399_00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:46,667</time>
<s>才能飞到那个山上去</s>
<time>400_00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:47,708</time>
<s>上了 那个巅峰 他不是这样</s>
<time>401_00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:49,375</time>
<s>他其实一步一步走上去的</s>
<time>402_00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:50,625</time>
<s>你低头走就好</s>
<time>403_00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,917</time>
<s>第二个就是要tough</s>
<time>404_00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:55,417</time>
<s>这是我比较嫉妒嘻嘻的一个点</s>
<time>405_00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:56,250</time>
<s>就是她很tough</s>
<time>406_00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:57,292</time>
<s>要糙一点嗯</s>
<time>407_00:12:57,292 --> 00:12:58,750</time>
<s>伤春悲秋就是</s>
<time>408_00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,208</time>
<s>确实会容易让</s>
<time>409_00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:02,500</time>
<s>人在面对事情的时候相对无力</s>
<time>410_00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,000</time>
<s>这个也是放弃博士这件事情给我的精神滋养</s>
<time>411_00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:07,708</time>
<s>在反复的咀嚼和回想这个事情的时候</s>
<time>412_00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:08,750</time>
<s>给我的成长</s>
<time>413_00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:10,208</time>
<s>你的绝望之谷呢</s>
<time>414_00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,500</time>
<s>我改想好怎么说</s>
<time>415_00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:16,667</time>
<s>就是我的另一半经历了可能两年的</s>
<time>416_00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:19,167</time>
<s>是接近于抑郁症的一个狀本</s>
<time>417_00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,833</time>
<s>然 .那个时候我发现</s>
<time>418_00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:22,708</time>
<s>要学会和他如何相处</s>
<time>419_00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:25,417</time>
<s>就是让他从这个困境中走出来</s>
<time>420_00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:27,083</time>
<s>以及让我重新理解</s>
<time>421_00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,542</time>
<s>就是爱一个人的定义吧</s>
<time>422_00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,208</time>
<s>因为他的原因我沒有告诉任何人</s>
<time>423_00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:32,917</time>
<s>所以就是是我独自一个人在承受</s>
<time>424_00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:34,375</time>
<s>这样的一个过程</s>
<time>425_00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:36,667</time>
<s>你要面对一个无时无刻不在悲伤的人</s>
<time>426_00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:37,917</time>
<s>你应该如何去做</s>
<time>427_00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,792</time>
<s>当你就下班回家已经很累的时候</s>
<time>428_00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,875</time>
<s>你要怎样面对他的这种悲伤</s>
<time>429_00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:44,167</time>
<s>首先就是要维持自己一个</s>
<time>430_00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,625</time>
<s>呃正常的狀态</s>
<time>431_00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:46,667</time>
<s>因为我还要工作</s>
<time>432_00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:49,375</time>
<s>还要就是持续的perform 要赚钱</s>
<time>433_00:13:49,375 --> 00:13:51,042</time>
<s>然后还有一个就是学会</s>
<time>434_00:13:51,042 --> 00:13:53,542</time>
<s>怎样站在另外一个人的角度去爱他</s>
<time>435_00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,625</time>
<s>当他和你完全不一样的时候</s>
<time>436_00:13:55,625 --> 00:13:58,125</time>
<s>依然能够站在他的角度去看这个世界</s>
<time>437_00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:00,833</time>
<s>所以经过这件事你对爱的定义（变化了吗）</s>
<time>438_00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:03,125</time>
<s>我以前大学的时候可能有跟你计论过</s>
<time>439_00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:05,000</time>
<s>我觉得人类对干亲情</s>
<time>440_00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,875</time>
<s>爱情和友情的划分是</s>
<time>441_00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:08,958</time>
<s>非常为了方便而为之的</s>
<time>442_00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:10,208</time>
<s>因为在我的眼里</s>
<time>443_00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:12,292</time>
<s>我和每一个人的关系都独一无二</s>
<time>444_00:14:12,292 --> 00:14:14,792</time>
<s>这可能是后来交朋友越来越精简</s>
<time>445_00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:16,458</time>
<s>是因为我可能沒有能力维持</s>
<time>446_00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:19,792</time>
<s>1500份独一无二的 感情</s>
<time>447_00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,292</time>
<s>就我和你的友情和我和你的友情</s>
<time>448_00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:23,125</time>
<s>又完全不一样</s>
<time>449_00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:25,625</time>
<s>我会细心地体味她们其中的差別</s>
