<time>450_00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,292</time>
<s>甚至我和异性的关系</s>
<time>451_00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:29,792</time>
<s>就有些是界干友情和爱情之间的</s>
<time>452_00:14:29,792 --> 00:14:31,458</time>
<s>你可能同时对不同的异性</s>
<time>453_00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:32,500</time>
<s>抱有这种感觉</s>
<time>454_00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:34,375</time>
<s>但未必代表你就是一个坏人</s>
<time>455_00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:37,083</time>
<s>所以我对人和人的这种关系的定义</s>
<time>456_00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:39,375</time>
<s>本来就是非常的多元的</s>
<time>457_00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:41,458</time>
<s>然后至干如果选择了</s>
<time>458_00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:42,500</time>
<s>生活中的伴侣的话</s>
<time>459_00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,792</time>
<s>我一直把他当成一个战友的角色</s>
<time>460_00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:46,458</time>
<s>就是不管对方怎么样</s>
<time>461_00:14:46,458 --> 00:14:49,167</time>
<s>嗯我们是那种一个人可以过得很好</s>
<time>462_00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:51,042</time>
<s>但多一个人你就是我的战友</s>
<time>463_00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:52,292</time>
<s>我们在这条</s>
<time>464_00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,792</time>
<s>无聊又可能曲折的人生路上</s>
<time>465_00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:55,625</time>
<s>一起走下去</s>
<time>466_00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:56,667</time>
<s>这不是我对爱的定义</s>
<time>467_00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,542</time>
<s>这是我对人生伴侣的一个定义吧</s>
<time>468_00:14:58,542 --> 00:15:00,625</time>
<s>所以他现在恢复了 吗</s>
<time>469_00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,292</time>
<s>就是在慢慢的变好</s>
<time>470_00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,750</time>
<s>在在我的爱之下</s>
<time>471_00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:04,792</time>
<s>那你在这个过程中</s>
<time>472_00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:07,500</time>
<s>股有一点的考虑过离开吗嗯</s>
<time>473_00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:09,167</time>
<s>我我有在网上看一些</s>
<time>474_00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:10,833</time>
<s>就是作为抑郁症者的伴侣</s>
<time>475_00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,292</time>
<s>他们会怎么处理这个事情</s>
<time>476_00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:15,000</time>
<s>但沒有一个人是说要离开的</s>
<time>477_00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:15,833</time>
<s>然后那个时候</s>
<time>478_00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,708</time>
<s>我我去想我们结婚的誓词吗</s>
<time>479_00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,000</time>
<s>就是要和你一起去冒险去探索</s>
<time>480_00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,292</time>
<s>去做你生命上的支撑</s>
<time>481_00:15:22,292 --> 00:15:23,542</time>
<s>首先我觉得这个人值得</s>
<time>482_00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,208</time>
<s>其次是我对我发过的誓言眞的抱有</s>
<time>483_00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,458</time>
<s>很认眞的态度</s>
<time>484_00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,917</time>
<s>完了我要我要哭了</s>
<time>485_00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,583</time>
<s>可以哭可以哭是吗</s>
<time>486_00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:32,292</time>
<s>你沒有跟我们分享时这个埃</s>
<time>487_00:15:32,292 --> 00:15:33,542</time>
<s>自己独自承担了他</s>
<time>488_00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:35,625</time>
<s>我经常是那种遇到一些挫折</s>
<time>489_00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:36,458</time>
<s>我会把它熬熬熬</s>
<time>490_00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:38,333</time>
<s>然后熬出一锅粥把它喝进去</s>
<time>491_00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,417</time>
<s>然 后面我再去和別人分享的时候</s>
<time>492_00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,708</time>
<s>其实是已经处在一个走出来的狀态了</s>
<time>493_00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:43,542</time>
<s>因为我觉得</s>
<time>494_00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:45,833</time>
<s>人能够解决题的时常只有自己</s>
<time>495_00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:48,750</time>
<s>最.帮你做决定的时常也只有你自己</s>
<time>496_00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,833</time>
<s>然后那个时候可能即使你分享给朋友</s>
<time>497_00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:52,917</time>
<s>是可以得到一些安慰</s>
<time>498_00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:55,417</time>
<s>但这种刷藉对我来说意义不大</s>
<time>499_00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:57,500</time>
<s>我当时也会拷问就像你说的</s>
<time>500_00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,792</time>
<s>埃是不是就一走了之会更简单一点</s>
<time>501_00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,083</time>
<s>我为什么要遭遭这个罪</s>
<time>502_00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:03,542</time>
<s>其实扩大话来讲一点</s>
<time>503_00:16:03,542 --> 00:16:05,833</time>
<s>遇到不合适的伴侣那为什么不走呢</s>
<time>504_00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:06,875</time>
<s>但是嗯</s>
<time>505_00:16:07,708 --> 00:16:10,000</time>
<s>我我在我的伴侣身上看到了</s>
<time>506_00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,708</time>
<s>是不可 替代的价值吧 就是灵魂伴侣</s>
<time>507_00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:14,792</time>
<s>我觉得价值观是一个排序题</s>
<time>508_00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,458</time>
<s>本质是什么对你是最重要的</s>
<time>509_00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,333</time>
<s>对然后其次是什么</s>
<time>510_00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,208</time>
<s>但不代表排在后面的不重要</s>
<time>511_00:16:20,208 --> 00:16:22,917</time>
<s>只是说你沒有那么幸我可以获得一切</s>
<time>512_00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:25,833</time>
<s>你必须要让自己在心里面排序</s>
<time>513_00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:27,917</time>
<s>那么这个人他虽然有抑郁症</s>
<time>514_00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:31,042</time>
<s>但是他可能（灵魂伴侣）排的很高对</s>
<time>515_00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:33,542</time>
<s>所以我不能说ok这个人</s>
<time>516_00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,583</time>
<s>tick three boxes</s>
<time>517_00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:36,667</time>
<s>然后就可以然后后面那个人两个</s>
<time>518_00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,125</time>
<s>所以就不能这样的</s>
<time>519_00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,792</time>
<s>我是这样的生活是很奢侈的</s>
<time>520_00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:42,292</time>
<s>这样的击择也不会时时刻刻出现噁</s>
<time>521_00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,583</time>
<s>我觉得在就是长大的过程中</s>
<time>522_00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:47,083</time>
<s>呃我自己感受到的一个课题就是</s>
<time>523_00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,750</time>
<s>我们在遇到问题的时候</s>
<time>524_00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:51,458</time>
<s>我们更多的用就是解决这个问题</s>
<time>525_00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:53,542</time>
<s>而不是換一下这样的方式去</s>
<time>526_00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:55,208</time>
<s>去面对这个问题</s>
<time>527_00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:56,042</time>
<s>我觉得年轻的时候</s>
<time>528_00:16:56,042 --> 00:16:57,292</time>
<s>眞的是你什么都可以換</s>
<time>529_00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,792</time>
<s>你就是男朋友不好就換一个男朋友</s>
<time>530_00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:01,667</time>
<s>就是专业不好不喜欢你换一个专业</s>
<time>531_00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:04,792</time>
<s>回到你刚刚说的那个</s>
<time>532_00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:06,250</time>
<s>有谁一开始想做乌龟呢</s>
<time>533_00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,958</time>
<s>嗯就不存在一开始就想做乌龟的人</s>
<time>534_00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,625</time>
<s>都是放弃过</s>
<time>535_00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,292</time>
<s>然后回过头来看才知道哦</s>
<time>536_00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,167</time>
<s>原来沿着一条路慢慢的走</s>
<time>537_00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,417</time>
<s>这就是最好的方法</s>
<time>538_00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:17,083</time>
<s>股关系因为我们的人生还很长</s>
<time>539_00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,167</time>
<s>接下来50年沿这条路走</s>
<time>540_00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,833</time>
<s>我念能走到对吧</s>
<time>541_00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:23,333</time>
<s>而且其实这条路就是你走就得了</s>
<time>542_00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,167</time>
<s>你不必在意</s>
<time>543_00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,875</time>
<s>就是看你走的人是一个什么态度</s>
<time>544_00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:27,500</time>
<s>对是的</s>
<time>545_00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,000</time>
<s>我们其实每个人不过活八九十岁</s>
<time>546_00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,875</time>
<s>这条路如果我觉得我走一遍值了</s>
<time>547_00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:33,125</time>
<s>就像一首歌一样</s>
<time>548_00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:35,833</time>
<s>股有人会在意音乐的最后那两个音节</s>
<time>549_00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,917</time>
<s>整首音乐就是一个享受的过程</s>
<time>550_00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:39,167</time>
<s>人生就像这首歌一样</s>
<time>551_00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,417</time>
<s>然后我听到的乐曲</s>
<time>552_00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,083</time>
<s>和別人听到的看到的不一样</s>
<time>553_00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,750</time>
<s>都沒有关系噁</s>
<time>554_00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,167</time>
<s>我觉得我的巅峰时刻是考上北大的那一刻</s>
<time>555_00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:53,333</time>
<s>你再想想再想想哈哈哈这很失败吗</s>
<time>556_00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,375</time>
<s>对干每个北大人来说</s>
<time>557_00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:57,083</time>
<s>他确实一直以来最大的一个</s>
<time>558_00:17:57,083 --> 00:17:57,917</time>
<s>对自我的要求就是</s>
<time>559_00:17:57,917 --> 00:18:00,417</time>
<s>你不能让北大成为你的人生最高点</s>
<time>560_00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:01,250</time>
<s>一定要更好</s>
<time>561_00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:02,708</time>
<s>一定要超越他</s>
<time>562_00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:03,958</time>
<s>我们当时军训的时候</s>
<time>563_00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,000</time>
<s>有一个口令</s>
<time>564_00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,750</time>
<s>今天我为母校骄傲明天母校为我自豪</s>
<time>565_00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,833</time>
<s>在毕业之后的非常多年以来</s>
<time>566_00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:13,333</time>
<s>我的特別大的感受就是吧</s>
<time>567_00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:16,042</time>
<s>我们眞的太难让母校为我们自豪了</s>
<time>568_00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:18,125</time>
<s>因为百年沧桑北大</s>
<time>569_00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,625</time>
<s>他什么都已经都见过所以说</s>
<time>570_00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:22,917</time>
<s>承认这一点或者说嗯</s>
<time>571_00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:24,167</time>
<s>接受就是嗯</s>
<time>572_00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:25,625</time>
<s>可能我们要</s>
<time>573_00:18:26,042 --> 00:18:27,292</time>
<s>一生都就沐浴在</s>
<time>574_00:18:27,292 --> 00:18:29,583</time>
<s>北大的光辉和荫蔽之下</s>
<time>575_00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:31,875</time>
<s>又时时就是回想着</s>
<time>576_00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:34,167</time>
<s>一些当时大学时种在我们心里的火种</s>
<time>577_00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:36,458</time>
<s>成为我们未来的这个精神滋养</s>
<time>578_00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:39,167</time>
<s>接受这一点本身是我的一个课题</s>
<time>579_00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:41,458</time>
<s>这样说其实我觉得反而是一种勇敢</s>
<time>580_00:18:41,458 --> 00:18:44,792</time>
<s>嗯 是的 我承队这一点说出来就是勇敢 对</s>
<time>581_00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:46,667</time>
<s>考大学之前我的整个人生我很不喜欢</s>
<time>582_00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,125</time>
<s>我人生里面只有一个目标</s>
<time>583_00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:49,167</time>
<s>考上大学之后呢</s>
<time>584_00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:51,042</time>
<s>我踏上了一条建设自我的路</s>
<time>585_00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,500</time>
<s>7 来北京的火车</s>
<time>586_00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,375</time>
<s>我看到北京的高楼大夏</s>
<time>587_00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,250</time>
<s>看到阳光晒到上面反光</s>
<time>588_00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:57,708</time>
<s>然 后再反到我的眼睛里</s>
<time>589_00:18:57,708 --> 00:18:58,542</time>
<s>我坐在出租车里</s>
<time>590_00:18:58,542 --> 00:19:00,625</time>
<s>我觉得我的人生要打开了</s>
<time>591_00:19:01,042 --> 00:19:02,083</time>
<s>15年过去了</s>
<time>592_00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,333</time>
<s>我人生并股有打开</s>
<time>593_00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:05,625</time>
<s>哈哈哈我是一个非常普通的人</s>
<time>594_00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:07,292</time>
<s>我沒有建设任何事业</s>
<time>595_00:19:07,292 --> 00:19:09,167</time>
<s>我也沒有小法让母校为我自豪</s>
<time>596_00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:10,208</time>
<s>那我只能对自己说</s>
<time>597_00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,292</time>
<s>我的自我建立得无比的强大</s>
<time>598_00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:13,333</time>
<s>这无比的强大</s>
<time>599_00:19:13,958 --> 00:19:14,792</time>
<s>放在人类当中</s>
<time>600_00:19:14,792 --> 00:19:16,875</time>
<s>他只是非常普通的一颗自我</s>
<time>601_00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:19,375</time>
<s>可是跟15年前刚下火车的那个自我</s>
<time>602_00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,875</time>
<s>相比我好喜欢现在的这个自我</s>
<time>603_00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,542</time>
<s>她很知道自己要干什么</s>
<time>604_00:19:23,542 --> 00:19:25,208</time>
<s>她也相信自己所相信的</s>
<time>605_00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:27,083</time>
<s>知道什么是对的什么是错的</s>
<time>606_00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,958</time>
<s>我希望我的人生巅峰慢点来</s>
<time>607_00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:31,042</time>
<s>他可能发生在我70岁80岁</s>
<time>608_00:19:31,042 --> 00:19:33,750</time>
<s>我是一个就是精力充沛的老太太也许</s>
<time>609_00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,833</time>
<s>可能我的人生巅峰就是我死前的那一秒呢</s>
<time>610_00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:37,292</time>
<s>死后就是生理上</s>
<time>611_00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:38,750</time>
<s>大脑还是有活跃度的</s>
<time>612_00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,583</time>
<s>在死前</s>
<time>613_00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:41,667</time>
<s>我可能在脑子里会播放我这一生</s>
<time>614_00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:44,583</time>
<s>我会觉得我再想到我2007年</s>
<time>615_00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,458</time>
<s>下了北京的那个火车</s>
<time>616_00:19:46,458 --> 00:19:46,875</time>
<s>到现在</s>
<time>617_00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:49,375</time>
<s>我会觉得我的这趟自我建设之旅就是</s>
<time>618_00:19:49,375 --> 00:19:50,417</time>
<s>我非常喜欢</s>
<time>619_00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:51,875</time>
<s>如果有机会的话</s>
<time>620_00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:52,917</time>
<s>我可以再来一趟</s>
<time>621_00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,000</time>
<s>我我经常会想我生理</s>
<time>622_00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,667</time>
<s>死亡之后我脑子里在想什么</s>
<time>623_00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:59,792</time>
<s>噁我觉得那个那个时刻其实才是最终</s>
<time>624_00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,042</time>
<s>你如何看待你的一生</s>
<time>625_00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:03,542</time>
<s>不因虛度年华而临恨</s>
<time>626_00:20:03,542 --> 00:20:05,417</time>
<s>不因碌碌无为而羞耻对</s>
<time>627_00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:06,458</time>
<s>前阵子我做了一个梦</s>
<time>628_00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,125</time>
<s>然后那个梦上我要死了</s>
<time>629_00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,792</time>
<s>然后当时我躺在那个床上</s>
<time>630_00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:13,125</time>
<s>我脑子里就闪闪过三个字就说就行吧</s>
<time>631_00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:14,167</time>
<s>就还行吧</s>
<time>632_00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:15,625</time>
<s>然后我当时就非常坦然的</s>
<time>633_00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:16,667</time>
<s>接受了自己的死亡</s>
<time>634_00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:19,583</time>
<s>就我的人生截止到目前这一天为止</s>
<time>635_00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,875</time>
<s>我已经打造了一个我满意的自我</s>
<time>636_00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:23,542</time>
<s>看到了一些我喜欢的风景</s>
<time>637_00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:25,000</time>
<s>我觉得对自己没什么遗憾</s>
<time>638_00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,875</time>
<s>对对对我就对自己现在蛮好的</s>
<time>639_00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:27,708</time>
<s>將来如果有机会</s>
<time>640_00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:28,958</time>
<s>我就把它弄的更好一点</s>
<time>641_00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:31,042</time>
<s>虽然我是绝对不想再来走一遭的</s>
<time>642_00:20:31,042 --> 00:20:33,125</time>
<s>我觉得人生没有什么好可走的</s>
<time>643_00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:35,208</time>
<s>但是既然我来了我就好好的走</s>
<time>644_00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:36,458</time>
<s>我是比较同意</s>
<time>645_00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:38,958</time>
<s>就是佛家说的就是万物皆苦</s>
<time>646_00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:41,042</time>
<s>我的巅峰时刻就是我梦里说还行吧</s>
<time>647_00:20:41,042 --> 00:20:42,292</time>
<s>的时刻哈哈哈</s>
