<time>433_00:13:25,006 --> 00:13:25,366</time>
<s>但是你看不出来</s>
<time>434_00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,166</time>
<s>就我高兴也是这样</s>
<time>435_00:13:27,526 --> 00:13:28,246</time>
<s>这还冤呢</s>
<time>436_00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,406</time>
<s>牢牢控制一滴眼泪流到这儿</s>
<time>437_00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:31,846</time>
<s>这演员做不到的</s>
<time>438_00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:35,446</time>
<s>这我是那个请教了专业演员</s>
<time>439_00:13:35,806 --> 00:13:36,886</time>
<s>急么表现</s>
<time>440_00:13:37,966 --> 00:13:38,686</time>
<s>他就说让那个</s>
<time>441_00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:39,406</time>
<s>说你就找一个</s>
<time>442_00:13:39,766 --> 00:13:41,566</time>
<s>让你特别放松的一个摄像师</s>
<time>443_00:13:41,926 --> 00:13:42,286</time>
<s>让他等着你</s>
<time>444_00:13:42,646 --> 00:13:44,086</time>
<s>就大家都离你远远等着你</s>
<time>445_00:13:44,446 --> 00:13:45,526</time>
<s>然后你就放个音乐</s>
<time>446_00:13:45,886 --> 00:13:46,246</time>
<s>你就想你的事</s>
<time>447_00:13:46,606 --> 00:13:46,966</time>
<s>你就别着急</s>
<time>448_00:13:48,046 --> 00:13:48,766</time>
<s>你让他捕捉你</s>
<time>449_00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:50,926</time>
<s>然后当时就放那个歌</s>
<time>450_00:13:51,286 --> 00:13:52,006</time>
<s>我就想我自己的事</s>
<time>451_00:13:53,086 --> 00:13:54,166</time>
<s>就是她刚才说那个提醒我了</s>
<time>452_00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:56,686</time>
<s>就是说有时候你在一个场合中</s>
<time>453_00:13:57,046 --> 00:13:57,406</time>
<s>他是有压力的</s>
<time>454_00:13:57,766 --> 00:13:59,206</time>
<s>他有很多人都在</s>
<time>455_00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:00,646</time>
<s>别人都在哭了</s>
<time>456_00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:01,726</time>
<s>你好像很冷漠</s>
<time>457_00:14:02,086 --> 00:14:02,806</time>
<s>其实不是你冷漠</s>
<time>458_00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:04,246</time>
<s>你心里跟他们是一样的</s>
<time>459_00:14:04,606 --> 00:14:05,326</time>
<s>但是你没法表现</s>
<time>460_00:14:05,686 --> 00:14:06,046</time>
<s>特着急</s>
<time>461_00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:08,206</time>
<s>你一着急就更完了</s>
<time>462_00:14:08,566 --> 00:14:09,286</time>
<s>就更没有了</s>
<time>463_00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:10,726</time>
<s>就没了</s>
<time>464_00:14:11,086 --> 00:14:12,526</time>
<s>所以我们年轻的时候</s>
<time>465_00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:13,966</time>
<s>因为这个教育在这儿</s>
<time>466_00:14:14,326 --> 00:14:16,486</time>
<s>所以我就不记得</s>
<time>467_00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,286</time>
<s>我什么时候就是痛哭过</s>
<time>468_00:14:18,646 --> 00:14:19,006</time>
<s>就没有过</s>
<time>469_00:14:21,166 --> 00:14:23,326</time>
<s>你看我爹去世对我是重创</s>
<time>470_00:14:23,686 --> 00:14:25,126</time>
<s>因为我跟我爹感情很好</s>
<time>471_00:14:25,486 --> 00:14:26,566</time>
<s>他走的又早</s>
<time>472_00:14:26,926 --> 00:14:28,006</time>
<s>他走的时候我四十多岁</s>
<time>473_00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:29,446</time>
<s>他走了以后呢</s>
<time>474_00:14:29,806 --> 00:14:30,886</time>
<s>就我都没有哭</s>
<time>475_00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,326</time>
<s>我什么时候哭的呢</s>
<time>476_00:14:32,686 --> 00:14:35,926</time>
<s>是我去取他的骨灰盒</s>
<time>477_00:14:37,366 --> 00:14:38,446</time>
<s>这个有点太</s>
<time>478_00:14:38,806 --> 00:14:39,526</time>
<s>就是过不去</s>
<time>479_00:14:39,886 --> 00:14:41,326</time>
<s>就是你去取骨灰盒</s>
<time>480_00:14:41,686 --> 00:14:42,766</time>
<s>那些所有的工作人员</s>
<time>481_00:14:43,126 --> 00:14:44,206</time>
<s>都是按着程序走的</s>
<time>482_00:14:44,566 --> 00:14:45,646</time>
<s>拿一什么把东西一摆</s>
<time>483_00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:46,366</time>
<s>搁到柜台上</s>
<time>484_00:14:47,806 --> 00:14:49,966</time>
<s>然后你一抱着这骨灰盒</s>
<time>485_00:14:50,326 --> 00:14:52,486</time>
<s>马上就不行了</s>
<time>486_00:14:52,846 --> 00:14:53,926</time>
<s>就这种哀伤呢</s>
<time>487_00:14:54,286 --> 00:14:55,726</time>
<s>我想人一生中不会有几次</s>
<time>488_00:14:56,086 --> 00:14:58,606</time>
<s>那是从内心的彻底的哀伤</s>
<time>489_00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,486</time>
<s>就是我跟我爹是阴阳两隔</s>
<time>490_00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:03,286</time>
<s>就隔在这儿了</s>
<time>491_00:15:03,646 --> 00:15:05,446</time>
<s>这是我现在能够回忆起来的</s>
<time>492_00:15:05,806 --> 00:15:07,966</time>
<s>这个事已经有二十年了</s>
<time>493_00:15:08,326 --> 00:15:09,766</time>
<s>您说这个我就想起</s>
<time>494_00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,646</time>
<s>我有一种是滞后的眼泪</s>
<time>495_00:15:13,006 --> 00:15:14,086</time>
<s>这个很有意思</s>
<time>496_00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:15,886</time>
<s>我看过一个这个科学家</s>
<time>497_00:15:16,246 --> 00:15:17,686</time>
<s>他写的一个自传</s>
<time>498_00:15:18,046 --> 00:15:18,406</time>
<s>他非常有意思</s>
<time>499_00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:19,846</time>
<s>他就说跟他一辈子</s>
<time>500_00:15:20,206 --> 00:15:22,726</time>
<s>白头到老的这个妻子过世了</s>
<time>501_00:15:23,086 --> 00:15:24,886</time>
<s>然后呢他那个自传里</s>
<time>502_00:15:25,246 --> 00:15:25,966</time>
<s>那自传那个结尾</s>
<time>503_00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,046</time>
<s>都看得我感动</s>
<time>504_00:15:27,406 --> 00:15:29,926</time>
<s>他就说他说我太太就是死了</s>
<time>505_00:15:30,286 --> 00:15:31,726</time>
<s>他说我跟人就是说</s>
<time>506_00:15:32,086 --> 00:15:32,806</time>
<s>非常理智地</s>
<time>507_00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,246</time>
<s>他说甚至都很冷漠</s>
<time>508_00:15:34,606 --> 00:15:35,686</time>
<s>这个该办什么丧事</s>
<time>509_00:15:36,046 --> 00:15:36,766</time>
<s>办什么丧事</s>
<time>510_00:15:37,126 --> 00:15:38,206</time>
<s>完了收拾好她的遗物</s>
<time>511_00:15:38,566 --> 00:15:39,286</time>
<s>重新打扫房间</s>
<time>512_00:15:39,646 --> 00:15:40,726</time>
<s>我开始我的生活</s>
<time>513_00:15:41,086 --> 00:15:42,166</time>
<s>他说我自己都觉得奇怪</s>
<time>514_00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,686</time>
<s>说是不是因为我是从事科学工作的</s>
<time>515_00:15:45,046 --> 00:15:45,766</time>
<s>说我怎么这么样的</s>
<time>516_00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:47,566</time>
<s>对一辈子的一个老伴</s>
<time>517_00:15:47,926 --> 00:15:49,366</time>
<s>无感简直是</s>
<time>518_00:15:49,726 --> 00:15:51,166</time>
<s>那个书的结尾就写道</s>
<time>519_00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:54,766</time>
<s>他说但是半年之后</s>
<time>520_00:15:55,126 --> 00:15:57,286</time>
<s>有一次我在灯下独坐</s>
<time>521_00:15:57,646 --> 00:15:59,086</time>
<s>从一滴眼泪流下来</s>
<time>522_00:15:59,446 --> 00:16:00,886</time>
<s>到一发不可收拾</s>
<time>523_00:16:01,246 --> 00:16:03,046</time>
<s>他才知道就当人呐</s>
<time>524_00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:07,006</time>
<s>受到绝大的这种失去痛失的时候</s>
<time>525_00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:08,446</time>
<s>甚至有可能你当时</s>
<time>526_00:16:08,806 --> 00:16:11,326</time>
<s>心理学上讲有一种行为叫包扎</s>
<time>527_00:16:11,686 --> 00:16:13,126</time>
<s>当年汶川地震</s>
<time>528_00:16:13,486 --> 00:16:15,286</time>
<s>他们做心理辅导的那个医生就讲</s>
<time>529_00:16:15,646 --> 00:16:17,446</time>
<s>说你看有些人全家都死了</s>
<time>530_00:16:17,806 --> 00:16:19,606</time>
<s>这个人在街上失神</s>
<time>531_00:16:19,966 --> 00:16:21,046</time>
<s>而且跟人说起来</s>
<time>532_00:16:21,406 --> 00:16:22,486</time>
<s>就跟说别人的事一样</s>
<time>533_00:16:22,846 --> 00:16:24,646</time>
<s>他说实际上你不要以为他没受伤</s>
<time>534_00:16:25,006 --> 00:16:26,086</time>
<s>人的心理有个本能</s>
<time>535_00:16:26,446 --> 00:16:27,166</time>
<s>就是受到伤害太大</s>
<time>536_00:16:27,526 --> 00:16:28,606</time>
<s>你绝对承受不了的时候</s>
<time>537_00:16:28,966 --> 00:16:30,406</time>
<s>就像紧急包扎</s>
<time>538_00:16:30,766 --> 00:16:32,206</time>
<s>把它压进潜意识</s>
<time>539_00:16:32,566 --> 00:16:35,806</time>
<s>但是那个东西可能在很久之后</s>
<time>540_00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:38,326</time>
<s>我就说这种滞后</s>
<time>541_00:16:38,686 --> 00:16:39,766</time>
<s>我听您讲这个父母</s>
<time>542_00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:41,926</time>
<s>我就觉得有一次</s>
<time>543_00:16:42,286 --> 00:16:44,086</time>
<s>就是我那个时候在深圳住</s>
<time>544_00:16:44,446 --> 00:16:45,886</time>
<s>我的爸爸妈妈</s>
<time>545_00:16:46,246 --> 00:16:48,046</time>
<s>在这个深圳住了半年</s>
<time>546_00:16:48,406 --> 00:16:49,486</time>
<s>你知道其实是很辛酸的</s>
<time>547_00:16:49,846 --> 00:16:52,006</time>
<s>你年轻人想跟老两口一块住</s>
<time>548_00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:55,606</time>
<s>真住到一块整天吵架没法过</s>
<time>549_00:16:56,326 --> 00:16:58,486</time>
<s>又不得不把他们送回石家庄</s>
<time>550_00:16:58,846 --> 00:16:59,926</time>
<s>就是说你们回去吧</s>
<time>551_00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,006</time>
<s>回去我就说</s>
<time>552_00:17:01,366 --> 00:17:03,166</time>
<s>我说咱们那个一辈子</s>
<time>553_00:17:03,526 --> 00:17:05,686</time>
<s>没坐过头等舱是吧</s>
<time>554_00:17:06,046 --> 00:17:07,126</time>
<s>就坐飞机都没坐过几回</s>
<time>555_00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:08,206</time>
<s>我说我一定要给你们</s>
<time>556_00:17:08,566 --> 00:17:09,646</time>
<s>坐一回头等舱</s>
<time>557_00:17:10,006 --> 00:17:11,086</time>
<s>然后俩老伴呢</s>
<time>558_00:17:11,446 --> 00:17:12,886</time>
<s>背着那个背囊</s>
<time>559_00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:13,966</time>
<s>我就把他们送到</s>
<time>560_00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:16,126</time>
<s>那个深圳的那个飞机场</s>
<time>561_00:17:17,566 --> 00:17:19,726</time>
<s>安检那个地方进不去了你知道吗</s>
<time>562_00:17:20,086 --> 00:17:21,526</time>
<s>就是我只能在这儿看见他</s>
<time>563_00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:23,326</time>
<s>看着他你知道深圳飞机场</s>
<time>564_00:17:23,686 --> 00:17:25,486</time>
<s>那个头等舱有个休息室</s>
<time>565_00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:27,286</time>
<s>进去之后应该拐弯</s>
<time>566_00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,086</time>
<s>他们哪知道没坐过</s>
<time>567_00:17:29,446 --> 00:17:30,526</time>
<s>我就觉得跟跟跑跑</s>
<time>568_00:17:30,886 --> 00:17:33,046</time>
<s>俩人背着个包就往前一直走</s>
<time>569_00:17:33,406 --> 00:17:35,206</time>
<s>我在喊我说那边有休息室</s>
<time>570_00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:36,286</time>
<s>就听不见呢</s>
<time>571_00:17:37,726 --> 00:17:39,166</time>
<s>就这么就走进去了</s>
<time>572_00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,606</time>
<s>我就叹口气</s>
<time>573_00:17:40,966 --> 00:17:42,766</time>
<s>后来我就打车回来</s>
<time>574_00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:44,206</time>
<s>我当时也没什么</s>
<time>575_00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:47,806</time>
<s>但是呢就打车回到深圳的时候</s>
<time>576_00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:51,046</time>
<s>我自己第一次流那种泪</s>
<time>577_00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:53,206</time>
<s>就是我不知道我流泪了</s>
<time>578_00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:55,006</time>
<s>我突然觉得这儿有水</s>
<time>579_00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,806</time>
<s>我这么一抹</s>
<time>580_00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:58,606</time>
<s>满脸都是眼泪</s>
<time>581_00:17:58,966 --> 00:18:00,046</time>
<s>你就我不知道眼泪</s>
<time>582_00:18:00,406 --> 00:18:01,846</time>
<s>是什么时候流下来的</s>
<time>583_00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,006</time>
<s>就这种在我一辈子里边</s>
<time>584_00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:05,086</time>
<s>就出现过这一回</s>
<time>585_00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:10,486</time>
<s>这个央视做一个清明节目</s>
<time>586_00:18:10,846 --> 00:18:11,926</time>
<s>做一个清明节目呢</s>
<time>587_00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:12,646</time>
<s>就是每人上去</s>
<time>588_00:18:13,006 --> 00:18:14,086</time>
<s>大概上去有个10分8分钟的</s>
<time>589_00:18:14,446 --> 00:18:16,246</time>
<s>一个演讲就完了</s>
<time>590_00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:18,406</time>
<s>然后那次是在清华大学</s>
<time>591_00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:19,126</time>
<s>我就上去了</s>
<time>592_00:18:19,486 --> 00:18:21,646</time>
<s>上去一下我就有点慌</s>
<time>593_00:18:22,006 --> 00:18:23,086</time>
<s>慌了我就得定定神</s>
<time>594_00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:23,806</time>
<s>定神最好的方式</s>
<time>595_00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:25,246</time>
<s>你们都非常有经验</s>
<time>596_00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:26,326</time>
<s>就是我先看台底下</s>
<time>597_00:18:26,686 --> 00:18:28,486</time>
<s>我跟任何一个人看见他</s>
<time>598_00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:29,926</time>
<s>我就比较安定吧</s>
<time>599_00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:31,726</time>
<s>这时候我刚想往下看</s>
<time>600_00:18:32,086 --> 00:18:33,166</time>
<s>俩探灯就打我脸上了</s>
<time>601_00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:34,246</time>
<s>我啥也看不见</s>
<time>602_00:18:34,606 --> 00:18:35,686</time>
<s>完全是一片</s>
<time>603_00:18:36,046 --> 00:18:37,126</time>
<s>底下一千人</s>
<time>604_00:18:37,486 --> 00:18:37,846</time>
<s>一个人都看不见</s>
<time>605_00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:38,926</time>
<s>就是一个黑幕</s>
<time>606_00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:41,446</time>
<s>我要说清明</s>
<time>607_00:18:41,806 --> 00:18:43,966</time>
<s>那我这时候我就很清楚知道</s>
<time>608_00:18:44,326 --> 00:18:45,406</time>
<s>我要说什么了</s>
<time>609_00:18:45,766 --> 00:18:46,846</time>
<s>就是我完全是在</s>
<time>610_00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:49,366</time>
<s>对着一个黑暗的空间去说话</s>
<time>611_00:18:49,726 --> 00:18:51,886</time>
<s>那我只好说我最近的人</s>
<time>612_00:18:52,246 --> 00:18:53,326</time>
<s>说我走了</s>
<time>613_00:18:53,686 --> 00:18:55,846</time>
<s>怎么走的我回忆他的事情</s>
<time>614_00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:56,566</time>
<s>那么到最后</s>
<time>615_00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,806</time>
<s>我就是那种感觉</s>
<time>616_00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:01,246</time>
<s>就是说哭的这种感觉</s>
<time>617_00:19:01,606 --> 00:19:02,686</time>
<s>它自己就来了忍不住了</s>
<time>618_00:19:03,046 --> 00:19:05,566</time>
<s>其实我特别不愿意当众去哭</s>
<time>619_00:19:05,926 --> 00:19:06,286</time>
<s>就是没有</s>
<time>620_00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,726</time>
<s>背着人我也不哭</s>
<time>621_00:19:08,086 --> 00:19:09,166</time>
<s>反正我就是不愿意哭</s>
<time>622_00:19:09,526 --> 00:19:11,326</time>
<s>但是它到了那个时候</s>
<time>623_00:19:11,686 --> 00:19:12,766</time>
<s>后来我都听见</s>
<time>624_00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:14,566</time>
<s>因为我在说话的时候</s>
<time>625_00:19:14,926 --> 00:19:16,366</time>
<s>特别静安静之极</s>
<time>626_00:19:16,726 --> 00:19:17,806</time>
<s>底下的人都有哭声</s>
<time>627_00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:18,886</time>
<s>我都听见了</s>
<time>628_00:19:19,246 --> 00:19:19,606</time>
<s>听见了以后</s>
<time>629_00:19:19,966 --> 00:19:20,686</time>
<s>他们有哭声</s>
<time>630_00:19:21,046 --> 00:19:22,126</time>
<s>哭声是传染的对吧</s>
<time>631_00:19:22,486 --> 00:19:23,206</time>
<s>一传染</s>
<time>632_00:19:23,566 --> 00:19:25,006</time>
<s>然后我就终于在最后那一刻</s>
<time>633_00:19:25,366 --> 00:19:26,446</time>
<s>我本来想忍着的</s>
<time>634_00:19:26,806 --> 00:19:27,886</time>
<s>没忍住就下来了</s>
<time>635_00:19:28,246 --> 00:19:28,966</time>
<s>濠陶大哭</s>
<time>636_00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:30,766</time>
<s>没有陶好家伙</s>
<time>637_00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:32,566</time>
<s>那个是那么多摄像机町着</s>
<time>638_00:19:32,926 --> 00:19:33,646</time>
<s>我再喙陶大哭</s>
<time>639_00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:34,726</time>
<s>我再尊地上</s>
<time>640_00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:35,446</time>
<s>那就成新闻了</s>
<time>641_00:19:35,806 --> 00:19:37,606</time>
<s>他看不见人</s>
<time>642_00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:38,686</time>
<s>旁若无人对</s>
<time>643_00:19:39,046 --> 00:19:39,766</time>
<s>就是那种</s>
<time>644_00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,566</time>
<s>孤独站在这舞台</s>
<time>645_00:19:41,926 --> 00:19:42,646</time>
<s>就一个人的那个时候</s>
<time>646_00:19:43,006 --> 00:19:43,366</time>
<s>我现在知道怎么样</s>
<time>647_00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:44,446</time>
<s>能够把一个节目</s>
<time>648_00:19:44,806 --> 00:19:45,886</time>
<s>让那个嘉宾掏心掏肺</s>
<time>649_00:19:46,246 --> 00:19:46,966</time>
<s>你就给他这么一个</s>
<time>650_00:19:47,326 --> 00:19:49,126</time>
<s>两盏大探照灯给他打</s>
<time>651_00:19:49,486 --> 00:19:51,286</time>
<s>对他看不见人</s>
<time>652_00:19:51,646 --> 00:19:54,526</time>
<s>我现在回想我这么多年我一直</s>
<time>653_00:19:54,886 --> 00:19:55,606</time>
<s>我没有人</s>
<time>654_00:19:55,966 --> 00:19:57,046</time>
<s>我各种哭</s>
<time>655_00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:57,766</time>
<s>什么事都哭，</s>
<time>656_00:19:58,126 --> 00:19:58,846</time>
<s>一有人绝对不哭</s>
<time>657_00:19:59,206 --> 00:19:59,566</time>
<s>我就觉得是因为</s>
<time>658_00:19:59,926 --> 00:20:00,286</time>
<s>我没有安全感</s>
<time>659_00:20:01,726 --> 00:20:03,166</time>
<s>我怕别人看到我流泪之后</s>
<time>660_00:20:03,526 --> 00:20:03,886</time>
<s>因为我的眼泪</s>
<time>661_00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,326</time>
<s>就会知道我的很多事</s>
<time>662_00:20:06,046 --> 00:20:08,206</time>
<s>我本能的不想让别人知道我的事</s>
<time>663_00:20:08,566 --> 00:20:08,926</time>
<s>保护嘛</s>
<time>664_00:20:09,286 --> 00:20:11,446</time>
<s>对我总觉得任何人的事</s>
<time>665_00:20:11,806 --> 00:20:12,886</time>
<s>你放在什么聚光灯下</s>
<time>666_00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,046</time>
<s>就被人放大镜一看</s>
<time>667_00:20:15,406 --> 00:20:16,126</time>
<s>根本经不起推敲</s>
<time>668_00:20:17,206 --> 00:20:18,286</time>
<s>然后我觉得是因为</s>
<time>669_00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:19,726</time>
<s>我对我自己没有这种自信</s>
<time>670_00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,526</time>
<s>然后自我认知比较低</s>
<time>671_00:20:21,886 --> 00:20:23,686</time>
<s>我想有一个比较安全的距离</s>
<time>672_00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,206</time>
<s>我觉得潜意识是这个</s>
<time>673_00:20:26,566 --> 00:20:27,286</time>
<s>那你怎么就变了呢</s>
<time>674_00:20:29,086 --> 00:20:30,166</time>
<s>慢慢慢慢就你总得有一个</s>
<time>675_00:20:30,526 --> 00:20:31,606</time>
<s>释放的一个渠道</s>
<time>676_00:20:31,966 --> 00:20:33,046</time>
<s>为什么哭是好事</s>
<time>677_00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:33,766</time>
<s>你哭的话</s>
<time>678_00:20:34,126 --> 00:20:36,286</time>
<s>流泪你把有一些毒素就排掉了</s>
<time>679_00:20:36,646 --> 00:20:38,086</time>
<s>你通过哭是一种释放</s>
<time>680_00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,526</time>
<s>对我来说有两种哭</s>
<time>681_00:20:39,886 --> 00:20:40,966</time>
<s>就是马爷刚刚说一个人</s>
<time>682_00:20:41,326 --> 00:20:42,406</time>
<s>就没有人的时候放声痛哭</s>
<time>683_00:20:43,846 --> 00:20:44,926</time>
<s>我有一次就前不久</s>
<time>684_00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,366</time>
<s>那种哭完全不是因为痛苦</s>
<time>685_00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:47,086</time>
<s>就是因为你累</s>
<time>686_00:20:49,246 --> 00:20:51,046</time>
<s>那次录完《我是演说家》是</s>
<time>687_00:20:51,406 --> 00:20:52,846</time>
<s>到家大概半夜两三点种</s>
<time>688_00:20:53,206 --> 00:20:53,926</time>
<s>就是纯粹累</s>
<time>689_00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:55,366</time>
<s>我一进家门就站那儿</s>
<time>690_00:20:55,726 --> 00:20:57,166</time>
<s>就哭了很长时间</s>
<time>691_00:20:57,526 --> 00:20:58,606</time>
<s>但那纯生理的</s>
<time>692_00:20:58,966 --> 00:20:59,326</time>
<s>可是哭完之后</s>
<time>693_00:20:59,686 --> 00:21:01,126</time>
<s>你就舒服了很多</s>
<time>694_00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:02,206</time>
<s>然后就想我上一次</s>
<time>695_00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:03,286</time>
<s>因为特别累哭</s>
<time>696_00:21:03,646 --> 00:21:04,366</time>
<s>是当时做《凤凰早班车》</s>
<time>697_00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:06,886</time>
<s>就累得要死那会儿</s>
<time>698_00:21:07,246 --> 00:21:08,326</time>
<s>就是我有过这么两次</s>
<time>699_00:21:09,766 --> 00:21:11,566</time>
<s>然后再有因为是那种</s>
<time>700_00:21:11,926 --> 00:21:13,726</time>
<s>你是感动也好伤心也好哭</s>
<time>701_00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:14,806</time>
<s>就是前不久</s>
<time>702_00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:16,246</time>
<s>因为我们节目好多好多年</s>
<time>703_00:21:16,606 --> 00:21:17,686</time>
<s>好多小孩发了很多</s>
<time>704_00:21:18,046 --> 00:21:18,406</time>
<s>这些年的照片</s>
<time>705_00:21:18,766 --> 00:21:19,126</time>
<s>十七年</s>
<time>706_00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:20,566</time>
<s>就是我各种感慨</s>
<time>707_00:21:20,926 --> 00:21:22,726</time>
<s>就这种哭它其实也特别释放</s>
<time>708_00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,246</time>
<s>它特别特别释放</s>
<time>709_00:21:25,606 --> 00:21:27,406</time>
<s>她说的一个累的这个哭</s>
<time>710_00:21:27,766 --> 00:21:29,206</time>
<s>这个《华盛顿邮报》都登过</s>
<time>711_00:21:29,566 --> 00:21:30,646</time>
<s>就是说哭的第一个原因</s>
<time>712_00:21:31,006 --> 00:21:33,526</time>
<s>很多时候就是你累了</s>
<time>713_00:21:33,886 --> 00:21:35,686</time>
<s>这种呢就是而且还说</s>
<time>714_00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,126</time>
<s>你像她那个时候做《凤凰早班车》</s>
<time>715_00:21:37,486 --> 00:21:38,566</time>
<s>我们讲就是</s>
<time>716_00:21:38,926 --> 00:21:40,006</time>
<s>我说你就跟香港农民一样</s>
<time>717_00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:41,806</time>
<s>日出而作日落而息</s>
<time>718_00:21:42,166 --> 00:21:43,246</time>
<s>是几点就睡了</s>
<time>719_00:21:43,606 --> 00:21:44,326</time>
<s>反正老大爷怀疑我</s>
<time>720_00:21:44,686 --> 00:21:45,406</time>
<s>做了不正当职业</s>
<time>721_00:21:47,926 --> 00:21:48,286</time>
<s>那个时候</s>
<time>722_00:21:48,646 --> 00:21:50,806</time>
<s>因为没有人那个大半夜出去</s>
<time>723_00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:51,526</time>
<s>然后回来的时候</s>
<time>724_00:21:51,886 --> 00:21:53,326</time>
<s>已经是浓妆艳抹了就觉得</s>
<time>725_00:21:53,686 --> 00:21:56,206</time>
<s>早上四点就得起来报早班新闻</s>
<time>726_00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:57,286</time>
<s>那个时候我不敢惹她</s>
<time>727_00:21:57,646 --> 00:21:58,366</time>
<s>没有七点新闻</s>
<time>728_00:21:58,726 --> 00:22:00,526</time>
<s>四点钟起床</s>
<time>729_00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,326</time>
<s>那时候我为什么不敢惹她</s>
<time>730_00:22:02,686 --> 00:22:04,486</time>
<s>我一惹她她就说文涛你小心点儿</s>
<time>731_00:22:04,846 --> 00:22:05,566</time>
<s>我明天早上给你打电话</s>
<time>732_00:22:05,926 --> 00:22:06,646</time>
<s>告诉你我起床了</s>
<time>733_00:22:08,806 --> 00:22:10,606</time>
<s>所以为什么就是说这个哭</s>
<time>734_00:22:10,966 --> 00:22:12,406</time>
<s>我老是说有治疗作用</s>
<time>735_00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,926</time>
<s>在我的这个朋友当中有一个“党”</s>
<time>736_00:22:15,286 --> 00:22:17,086</time>
<s>我又把他们称为“哭嗨（党）</s>
<time>737_00:22:17,446 --> 00:22:18,166</time>
<s>就是哭嗨党</s>
<time>738_00:22:18,526 --> 00:22:19,246</time>
<s>哭的那叫一个痛快</s>
<time>739_00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:20,326</time>
<s>你知道以谁为代表</s>
<time>740_00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:21,046</time>
<s>孙冕吧</s>
<time>741_00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,846</time>
<s>孙冕封新城</s>
<time>742_00:22:23,206 --> 00:22:25,006</time>
<s>就是《新周刊》的那一帮人</s>
<time>743_00:22:25,366 --> 00:22:26,446</time>
<s>都是喝完酒之后吗</s>
<time>744_00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:27,526</time>
<s>喝完酒之后</s>
<time>745_00:22:27,886 --> 00:22:29,326</time>
<s>反正为点什么理由都行</s>
<time>746_00:22:29,686 --> 00:22:31,486</time>
<s>如果有人做了一首诗</s>
<time>747_00:22:31,846 --> 00:22:32,206</time>
<s>他就哭</s>
<time>748_00:22:32,566 --> 00:22:33,286</time>
<s>然后你知道有一次</s>
<time>749_00:22:33,646 --> 00:22:34,366</time>
<s>他们到深圳</s>
<time>750_00:22:34,726 --> 00:22:36,886</time>
<s>在一个酒吧</s>
<time>751_00:22:37,246 --> 00:22:38,326</time>
<s>在一个酒吧的一个包房里</s>
<time>752_00:22:38,686 --> 00:22:40,126</time>
<s>这么十几个大老爷们</s>
<time>753_00:22:40,486 --> 00:22:42,646</time>
<s>你知道吗就在那儿哭着给我打电话</s>
<time>754_00:22:43,006 --> 00:22:44,086</time>
<s>我以为出什么事了</s>
<time>755_00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,166</time>
<s>我当时住在深圳</s>
<time>756_00:22:45,526 --> 00:22:46,966</time>
<s>我说出什么事了我赶快去吧</s>
<time>757_00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:48,046</time>
<s>我一进门</s>
<time>758_00:22:48,406 --> 00:22:49,126</time>
<s>那个包房</s>
<time>759_00:22:49,486 --> 00:22:50,926</time>
<s>我的天哪所有的人呢</s>
<time>760_00:22:51,286 --> 00:22:52,726</time>
<s>哭声震天</s>
<time>761_00:22:53,086 --> 00:22:53,806</time>
<s>就是全在那儿哭</s>
<time>762_00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:57,406</time>
<s>问题是俩女服务员坐旁边也哭</s>
<time>763_00:22:57,766 --> 00:22:58,846</time>
<s>我说你们哭什么呀</s>
<time>764_00:22:59,206 --> 00:23:00,286</time>
<s>她说这一堆大老爷们</s>
<time>765_00:23:00,646 --> 00:23:01,366</time>
<s>哭得这么伤心</s>
<time>766_00:23:01,726 --> 00:23:02,806</time>
<s>我们看着也不落忍</s>
<time>767_00:23:03,526 --> 00:23:04,246</time>
<s>那他们为什么呀</s>
<time>768_00:23:04,606 --> 00:23:05,326</time>
<s>不为什么</s>
<time>769_00:23:05,686 --> 00:23:06,766</time>
<s>就随便找点什么理由</s>
<time>770_00:23:07,126 --> 00:23:08,926</time>
<s>比如说就是喝点酒</s>
<time>771_00:23:09,286 --> 00:23:10,006</time>
<s>一说起什么</s>
<time>772_00:23:10,366 --> 00:23:10,726</time>
<s>后来我问他们</s>
<time>773_00:23:11,086 --> 00:23:12,526</time>
<s>我说你为什么这样</s>
<time>774_00:23:12,886 --> 00:23:15,406</time>
<s>他说这个完了之后神清气爽</s>
<time>775_00:23:16,846 --> 00:23:20,446</time>
<s>这个是一个清洗</s>
<time>776_00:23:20,806 --> 00:23:21,166</time>
<s>我现在突然记得</s>
<time>777_00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:22,966</time>
<s>我第一次看到大人哭</s>
<time>778_00:23:23,326 --> 00:23:23,686</time>
<s>“就是我小时候</s>
<time>779_00:23:24,046 --> 00:23:25,126</time>
<s>因为我是我奶奶带大的</s>
<time>780_00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:26,566</time>
<s>我记得是1976年</s>
<time>781_00:23:26,926 --> 00:23:28,366</time>
<s>是毛主席去世</s>
<time>782_00:23:28,726 --> 00:23:29,446</time>
<s>还是总理去世之后</s>
<time>783_00:23:29,806 --> 00:23:31,966</time>
<s>当时大家不都哭嘛</s>
<time>784_00:23:32,326 --> 00:23:33,766</time>
<s>那时候我第一次看到我奶奶掉眼泪</s>
<time>785_00:23:34,126 --> 00:23:34,486</time>
<s>那把我吓坏了</s>
<time>786_00:23:35,926 --> 00:23:36,286</time>
<s>你想一个小孩</s>
<time>787_00:23:36,646 --> 00:23:38,806</time>
<s>我当时才6岁可能都还不到</s>
<time>788_00:23:39,166 --> 00:23:40,606</time>
<s>那你没哭没陪着哭</s>
<time>789_00:23:40,966 --> 00:23:42,046</time>
<s>没有但是我奶奶对我来说</s>
<time>790_00:23:42,406 --> 00:23:44,566</time>
<s>她是我的靠山</s>
<time>791_00:23:44,926 --> 00:23:45,646</time>
<s>她是我的天</s>
<time>792_00:23:46,006 --> 00:23:48,526</time>
<s>然后我奶奶是不可能哭的</s>
<time>793_00:23:49,246 --> 00:23:49,966</time>
<s>她就红着眼睛</s>
<time>794_00:23:50,326 --> 00:23:51,046</time>
<s>就哭成那个样子回来</s>
<time>795_00:23:51,406 --> 00:23:52,486</time>
<s>我就突然觉得</s>
<time>796_00:23:52,846 --> 00:23:55,366</time>
<s>好像我的天要塌了特别恐惧</s>
<time>797_00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,806</time>
<s>所以在那个时候我会觉得</s>
<time>798_00:23:57,166 --> 00:23:58,966</time>
<s>眼泪可能它是某种对我来说</s>
<time>799_00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:01,486</time>
<s>是某种负担</s>
<time>800_00:24:01,846 --> 00:24:04,366</time>
<s>还是某种像生活的重担一样</s>
<time>801_00:24:04,726 --> 00:24:06,166</time>
<s>就是会有一种压力</s>
<time>802_00:24:06,526 --> 00:24:07,246</time>
<s>没有我听你们刚刚</s>
<time>803_00:24:07,606 --> 00:24:08,686</time>
<s>讲那么多哭的经验</s>
<time>804_00:24:09,046 --> 00:24:10,126</time>
<s>我倒想到是什么</s>
<time>805_00:24:10,486 --> 00:24:11,926</time>
<s>想到我不哭的经验</s>
<time>806_00:24:12,286 --> 00:24:13,366</time>
<s>那我为什么不哭呢</s>
<time>807_00:24:13,726 --> 00:24:15,166</time>
<s>有一次我女儿生病</s>
<time>808_00:24:15,526 --> 00:24:16,246</time>
<s>我女儿在英国</s>
<time>809_00:24:16,606 --> 00:24:18,406</time>
<s>暑假去上一个课程</s>
<time>810_00:24:18,766 --> 00:24:21,286</time>
<s>那不小心感染了肺炎</s>
<time>811_00:24:21,646 --> 00:24:22,006</time>
<s>当时不知道</s>
<time>812_00:24:22,366 --> 00:24:23,086</time>
<s>以为是感冒</s>
<time>813_00:24:23,446 --> 00:24:25,966</time>
<s>还去了医院什么照了肺片没事</s>
<time>814_00:24:26,326 --> 00:24:27,766</time>
<s>那我跟我太太过去</s>
<time>815_00:24:28,126 --> 00:24:29,926</time>
<s>然后看到她不对劲</s>
<time>816_00:24:30,286 --> 00:24:31,006</time>
<s>再怎么吃药</s>
<time>817_00:24:31,366 --> 00:24:33,886</time>
<s>还是咳嗽发烧高烧不退</s>
<time>818_00:24:34,246 --> 00:24:36,046</time>
<s>然后我还记得我还说</s>
<time>819_00:24:36,406 --> 00:24:37,486</time>
<s>算了算了我们看中医</s>
<time>820_00:24:37,846 --> 00:24:38,926</time>
<s>去伦敦唐人街</s>
<time>821_00:24:39,286 --> 00:24:41,446</time>
<s>那个中医在3楼没有电梯</s>
<time>822_00:24:41,806 --> 00:24:43,246</time>
<s>我背着我女儿爬爬</s>
<time>823_00:24:43,606 --> 00:24:45,046</time>
<s>爬了三楼这样子</s>
<time>824_00:24:45,406 --> 00:24:46,486</time>
<s>一直上去看</s>
<time>825_00:24:46,846 --> 00:24:47,926</time>
<s>那还是没好</s>
<time>826_00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:49,366</time>
<s>没有好严重了</s>
<time>827_00:24:49,726 --> 00:24:51,166</time>
<s>那只好把她偷运回香港</s>
<time>828_00:24:51,526 --> 00:24:52,246</time>
<s>为什么偷运呢</s>
<time>829_00:24:52,606 --> 00:24:53,326</time>
<s>因为你咳嗽这样子</s>
<time>830_00:24:53,686 --> 00:24:55,486</time>
<s>他不让你上飞机的</s>
<time>831_00:24:55,846 --> 00:24:57,646</time>
<s>我们在飞机场登记的时候</s>
<time>832_00:24:58,006 --> 00:24:58,726</time>
<s>那个洋婆子看看</s>
<time>833_00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:00,526</time>
<s>她可以吗</s>
<time>834_00:25:00,886 --> 00:25:01,966</time>
<s>她可以上飞机吗</s>
<time>835_00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:03,406</time>
<s>然后突然看到干吗呢</s>
<time>836_00:25:03,766 --> 00:25:08,086</time>
<s>我的定位的名字是马博士</s>
<time>837_00:25:08,446 --> 00:25:09,526</time>
<s>她以为我是医生</s>
<time>838_00:25:09,886 --> 00:25:11,326</time>
<s>她说你是一个医生</s>
<time>839_00:25:11,686 --> 00:25:13,486</time>
<s>我说对我是医生</s>
<time>840_00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,286</time>
<s>她就说那凭你的</s>
<time>841_00:25:15,646 --> 00:25:16,366</time>
<s>她以为我是医生</s>
<time>842_00:25:16,726 --> 00:25:19,966</time>
<s>她说凭你的医学判断</s>
<time>843_00:25:20,326 --> 00:25:21,046</time>
<s>她可以吗</s>
<time>844_00:25:21,406 --> 00:25:22,846</time>
<s>我说当然可以这样</s>
<time>845_00:25:23,206 --> 00:25:24,646</time>
<s>就把我女儿偷运回香港</s>
<time>846_00:25:25,006 --> 00:25:27,886</time>
<s>不然的话留在伦敦可能治疗</s>
<time>847_00:25:28,246 --> 00:25:28,966</time>
<s>我不晓得</s>
<time>848_00:25:29,326 --> 00:25:31,846</time>
<s>反正当时在伦敦也看了好几次病</s>
<time>849_00:25:32,206 --> 00:25:33,646</time>
<s>都说她没事只是感冒</s>
<time>850_00:25:34,006 --> 00:25:36,166</time>
<s>结果回香港是肺炎</s>
<time>851_00:25:36,526 --> 00:25:38,326</time>
<s>而且呢可能后来才知道</s>
<time>852_00:25:38,686 --> 00:25:40,486</time>
<s>那个叫做退伍军人症</s>
<time>853_00:25:41,566 --> 00:25:41,926</time>
<s>对</s>
<time>854_00:25:42,286 --> 00:25:43,726</time>
<s>退伍军人综合症</s>
<time>855_00:25:44,086 --> 00:25:44,446</time>
<s>对综合症</s>
<time>856_00:25:45,886 --> 00:25:46,606</time>
<s>你觉得很好笑吗</s>
<time>857_00:25:46,966 --> 00:25:47,326</time>
<s>我要哭了</s>
<time>858_00:25:47,686 --> 00:25:48,406</time>
<s>我哭给你看</s>
<time>859_00:25:50,206 --> 00:25:53,446</time>
<s>然后呢后来就在香港治疗一个礼拜</s>
<time>860_00:25:53,806 --> 00:25:55,606</time>
<s>试每一种药抗生素</s>
<time>861_00:25:55,966 --> 00:25:57,766</time>
<s>我女儿都过敏</s>
<time>862_00:25:58,126 --> 00:25:58,846</time>
<s>吃了没有用</s>
<time>863_00:25:59,206 --> 00:26:02,446</time>
<s>一直一直那个就高烧不退</s>
