<time>1303_00:45:51,882 --> 00:45:52,602</time>
<s>就是</s>
<time>1304_00:45:52,962 --> 00:45:55,122</time>
<s>承认生命的这个不可知</s>
<time>1305_00:45:55,482 --> 00:45:57,282</time>
<s>和就是那种</s>
<time>1306_00:45:57,642 --> 00:45:59,082</time>
<s>你完全没有办法控制</s>
<time>1307_00:46:00,522 --> 00:46:01,602</time>
<s>怎么去适应它</s>
<time>1308_00:46:01,962 --> 00:46:02,682</time>
<s>怎么去理解它</s>
<time>1309_00:46:13,842 --> 00:46:15,642</time>
<s>我这辈子也没费什么劲儿</s>
<time>1310_00:46:17,082 --> 00:46:18,162</time>
<s>就是我这辈子可以说</s>
<time>1311_00:46:18,522 --> 00:46:18,882</time>
<s>我是一个很</s>
<time>1312_00:46:21,402 --> 00:46:22,482</time>
<s>很消极的一个人</s>
<time>1313_00:46:23,201 --> 00:46:24,282</time>
<s>我没有争取任何事情</s>
<time>1314_00:46:25,362 --> 00:46:26,442</time>
<s>但是我觉得我的运气不错</s>
<time>1315_00:46:27,522 --> 00:46:28,602</time>
<s>你看正不想考大学</s>
<time>1316_00:46:29,321 --> 00:46:30,042</time>
<s>就停课了</s>
<time>1317_00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:32,202</time>
<s>正不想去当工人</s>
<time>1318_00:46:32,562 --> 00:46:33,282</time>
<s>就下乡了</s>
<time>1319_00:46:35,802 --> 00:46:36,882</time>
<s>后来又遇到高考</s>
<time>1320_00:46:37,241 --> 00:46:37,962</time>
<s>又恢复</s>
<time>1321_00:46:38,322 --> 00:46:39,402</time>
<s>又考了（四川）美院</s>
<time>1322_00:46:39,762 --> 00:46:40,842</time>
<s>就走上了绘画这条路</s>
<time>1323_00:46:41,562 --> 00:46:42,642</time>
<s>就是我</s>
<time>1324_00:46:43,721 --> 00:46:44,802</time>
<s>经历了这么几十年</s>
<time>1325_00:46:45,162 --> 00:46:46,602</time>
<s>七十多年的这个年龄</s>
<time>1326_00:46:46,962 --> 00:46:48,042</time>
<s>我其实记性非常好</s>
<time>1327_00:46:48,761 --> 00:46:50,202</time>
<s>从小的事情我都记得住</s>
<time>1328_00:46:52,002 --> 00:46:54,882</time>
<s>但是一切都是波澜不惊</s>
<time>1329_00:46:55,962 --> 00:46:56,682</time>
<s>有时候说这个话</s>
<time>1330_00:46:57,042 --> 00:46:58,122</time>
<s>是应该踢的</s>
<time>1331_00:46:58,482 --> 00:47:01,721</time>
<s>我曾经跟就是跟人差点吵起来</s>
<time>1332_00:47:02,082 --> 00:47:04,242</time>
<s>就是我们的报社</s>
<time>1333_00:47:04,602 --> 00:47:05,682</time>
<s>组织一批老知青</s>
<time>1334_00:47:06,042 --> 00:47:06,762</time>
<s>去谈知青生活的时候</s>
<time>1335_00:47:07,122 --> 00:47:08,922</time>
<s>我就在那儿大肆美化知青生活</s>
<time>1336_00:47:09,281 --> 00:47:11,082</time>
<s>人家一个老工人听不下去了</s>
<time>1337_00:47:11,802 --> 00:47:13,242</time>
<s>哇那么苦难你这样</s>
<time>1338_00:47:15,401 --> 00:47:16,842</time>
<s>他们都是回城以后</s>
<time>1339_00:47:17,562 --> 00:47:19,002</time>
<s>就是完全是义无反顾</s>
<time>1340_00:47:19,362 --> 00:47:20,082</time>
<s>想斩断那个记忆一样</s>
<time>1341_00:47:21,162 --> 00:47:22,242</time>
<s>记忆绝对要斩断</s>
<time>1342_00:47:22,962 --> 00:47:23,682</time>
<s>他们确实</s>
<time>1343_00:47:24,042 --> 00:47:24,762</time>
<s>他没有任何理由要回去</s>
<time>1344_00:47:25,122 --> 00:47:25,842</time>
<s>就只有我一个人</s>
<time>1345_00:47:26,562 --> 00:47:27,282</time>
<s>老回去</s>
<time>1346_00:47:28,361 --> 00:47:29,082</time>
<s>我要跟你谈另外一个事</s>
<time>1347_00:47:29,442 --> 00:47:29,802</time>
<s>你肯定知道</s>
<time>1348_00:47:30,162 --> 00:47:32,682</time>
<s>1973年有一个彗星进入太阳系</s>
<time>1349_00:47:33,401 --> 00:47:34,482</time>
<s>它不像哈雷彗星</s>
<time>1350_00:47:34,842 --> 00:47:35,922</time>
<s>不是那种周期性的</s>
<time>1351_00:47:36,281 --> 00:47:37,722</time>
<s>它来就一次性的被我看见了</s>
<time>1352_00:47:38,802 --> 00:47:39,882</time>
<s>它差不多在空中待了半个月</s>
<time>1353_00:47:40,241 --> 00:47:41,682</time>
<s>每天下去一点</s>
<time>1354_00:47:42,042 --> 00:47:43,122</time>
<s>我每天晚上起来看</s>
<time>1355_00:47:44,202 --> 00:47:44,921</time>
<s>每天晚上起来看</s>
<time>1356_00:47:45,282 --> 00:47:45,642</time>
<s>很大的一个彗星</s>
<time>1357_00:47:46,002 --> 00:47:46,362</time>
<s>差不多有</s>
<time>1358_00:47:47,442 --> 00:47:48,161</time>
<s>空中看有这么长</s>
<time>1359_00:47:48,522 --> 00:47:49,962</time>
<s>就是一溜那么长的一个</s>
<time>1360_00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:51,762</time>
<s>很了不起的</s>
<time>1361_00:47:52,122 --> 00:47:53,562</time>
<s>就是很壮观的一个景象</s>
<time>1362_00:47:53,922 --> 00:47:54,642</time>
<s>居然没人感觉</s>
<time>1363_00:47:55,002 --> 00:47:55,722</time>
<s>我当时总结就是</s>
<time>1364_00:47:56,082 --> 00:47:58,602</time>
<s>他们那帮人不会往天上看一眼</s>
<time>1365_00:47:58,962 --> 00:48:00,402</time>
<s>我跟他们说有彗星毫无感觉</s>
<time>1366_00:48:01,122 --> 00:48:01,842</time>
<s>我现在还难以理解</s>
<time>1367_00:48:02,202 --> 00:48:03,282</time>
<s>他们为什么对彗星没感觉</s>
<time>1368_00:48:03,642 --> 00:48:04,002</time>
<s>彗星多大个事</s>
<time>1369_00:48:04,362 --> 00:48:04,721</time>
<s>你说这个世界上</s>
<time>1370_00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:06,162</time>
<s>有几个人见过彗星的</s>
<time>1371_00:48:07,962 --> 00:48:09,042</time>
<s>我觉得一个见过彗星的人</s>
<time>1372_00:48:09,402 --> 00:48:09,762</time>
<s>肯定要稍微</s>
<time>1373_00:48:10,122 --> 00:48:11,202</time>
<s>跟其他人有点不太一样</s>
<time>1374_00:48:11,922 --> 00:48:13,361</time>
<s>我经常还是总结这一切</s>
<time>1375_00:48:13,721 --> 00:48:14,802</time>
<s>我说我这个人为什么</s>
<time>1376_00:48:15,882 --> 00:48:17,322</time>
<s>就走上了绘画这条路</s>
<time>1377_00:48:17,682 --> 00:48:18,762</time>
<s>那么这个现在我看来</s>
<time>1378_00:48:19,122 --> 00:48:20,201</time>
<s>这个是个最美好的工作</s>
<time>1379_00:48:20,562 --> 00:48:20,922</time>
<s>没有更美好了</s>
<time>1380_00:48:21,282 --> 00:48:23,082</time>
<s>我觉得这个跟我看到彗星都有关</s>
<time>1381_00:49:00,162 --> 00:49:00,882</time>
<s>像肖斯塔科维奇</s>
<time>1382_00:49:01,242 --> 00:49:01,962</time>
<s>他非常典型</s>
<time>1383_00:49:03,042 --> 00:49:03,402</time>
<s>他就是那个</s>
<time>1384_00:49:04,842 --> 00:49:06,281</time>
<s>在体制中</s>
<time>1385_00:49:06,642 --> 00:49:08,082</time>
<s>然后他一直又在体制中</s>
<time>1386_00:49:08,442 --> 00:49:10,242</time>
<s>但是他又写他自己的东西</s>
<time>1387_00:49:11,321 --> 00:49:13,122</time>
<s>我觉得他是利用了音乐的这种</s>
<time>1388_00:49:13,842 --> 00:49:16,361</time>
<s>就最大程度的这种多解读性</s>
<time>1389_00:49:18,161 --> 00:49:21,762</time>
<s>其实统治者是懂音乐的</s>
<time>1390_00:49:22,122 --> 00:49:22,482</time>
<s>很厉害</s>
<time>1391_00:49:23,922 --> 00:49:25,362</time>
<s>听得出来你别跟我过分</s>
<time>1392_00:49:25,722 --> 00:49:26,082</time>
<s>人家听得出来</s>
<time>1393_00:49:27,162 --> 00:49:29,322</time>
<s>我前段看过一个英国作家写他</s>
<time>1394_00:49:29,681 --> 00:49:31,122</time>
<s>我觉得写得特别好</s>
<time>1395_00:49:31,842 --> 00:49:32,562</time>
<s>那家伙理解</s>
<time>1396_00:49:32,922 --> 00:49:33,282</time>
<s>他认为</s>
<time>1397_00:49:33,642 --> 00:49:35,442</time>
<s>你不能说肖斯塔科维奇是儒夫</s>
<time>1398_00:49:35,802 --> 00:49:36,162</time>
<s>他说儒夫好</s>
<time>1399_00:49:36,522 --> 00:49:36,882</time>
<s>他活下来了</s>
<time>1400_00:49:37,962 --> 00:49:38,322</time>
<s>他必须是个儒夫</s>
<time>1401_00:49:38,682 --> 00:49:39,401</time>
<s>他必须要活下来</s>
<time>1402_00:49:40,122 --> 00:49:40,482</time>
<s>对他来说</s>
<time>1403_00:49:40,842 --> 00:49:42,281</time>
<s>这么伟大的人活下来是最重要的</s>
<time>1404_00:49:43,722 --> 00:49:44,802</time>
<s>不管他用什么方式活下来</s>
<time>1405_00:49:45,162 --> 00:49:46,242</time>
<s>所以他认为就是这个</s>
<time>1406_00:49:46,962 --> 00:49:48,762</time>
<s>他认为肖斯塔科维奇活下来了</s>
<time>1407_00:49:49,122 --> 00:49:51,282</time>
<s>而且写出了十五部伟大的交响乐</s>
<time>1408_00:49:52,002 --> 00:49:53,082</time>
<s>几乎每一部都是精品</s>
<time>1409_00:49:58,482 --> 00:50:03,522</time>
<s>《肖斯塔科维奇：牛蛇组曲：Op.97a:10.夜曲》激</s>
<time>1410_00:50:07,842 --> 00:50:09,282</time>
<s>你身上那种矛盾性非常有趣</s>
<time>1411_00:50:09,642 --> 00:50:11,082</time>
<s>就是你的语言能力非常之强</s>
<time>1412_00:50:11,802 --> 00:50:12,522</time>
<s>就又不想说出来</s>
<time>1413_00:50:12,882 --> 00:50:13,602</time>
<s>对但是你又</s>
<time>1414_00:50:14,682 --> 00:50:16,122</time>
<s>就是你的描述力非常之强</s>
<time>1415_00:50:16,842 --> 00:50:17,562</time>
<s>我希望我的画</s>
<time>1416_00:50:17,922 --> 00:50:19,002</time>
<s>是不可以用语言描述的</s>
<time>1417_00:50:21,522 --> 00:50:22,602</time>
<s>这点根深蒂固</s>
<time>1418_00:50:22,962 --> 00:50:24,042</time>
<s>从开始到现在就是这样</s>
<time>1419_00:50:25,482 --> 00:50:26,922</time>
<s>画画本身这个图示</s>
<time>1420_00:50:27,282 --> 00:50:28,722</time>
<s>对我来说是一个终极目标</s>
<time>1421_00:50:31,242 --> 00:50:33,762</time>
<s>我关注到一些非常细微的</s>
<time>1422_00:50:34,842 --> 00:50:35,562</time>
<s>画一朵花</s>
<time>1423_00:50:35,922 --> 00:50:36,282</time>
<s>一棵草的时候</s>
<time>1424_00:50:36,642 --> 00:50:39,522</time>
<s>我会想到它跟这个星座</s>
<time>1425_00:50:39,882 --> 00:50:42,042</time>
<s>跟宇宙这种距离这种关系</s>
<time>1426_00:50:48,882 --> 00:50:51,402</time>
<s>就是说我有点像那个</s>
<time>1427_00:50:51,762 --> 00:50:53,202</time>
<s>明末那些写意画家</s>
<time>1428_00:50:53,562 --> 00:50:56,802</time>
<s>就是“画画即思想”</s>
<time>1429_00:50:57,162 --> 00:50:57,522</time>
<s>我画一笔</s>
<time>1430_00:50:57,882 --> 00:50:58,242</time>
<s>就是我的想法</s>
<time>1431_00:51:10,122 --> 00:51:10,842</time>
<s>我们边画边说吧</s>
<time>1432_00:51:55,482 --> 00:51:56,562</time>
<s>就这凡根线条</s>
<time>1433_00:51:56,922 --> 00:51:58,002</time>
<s>就可以决定这幅画了</s>
<time>1434_00:51:58,362 --> 00:51:59,082</time>
<s>哇太神奇了</s>
<time>1435_00:51:59,802 --> 00:52:01,962</time>
<s>你看这线条其实它有道理的</s>
<time>1436_00:52:03,402 --> 00:52:04,842</time>
<s>它都归纳到这一点</s>
<time>1437_00:52:05,202 --> 00:52:05,922</time>
<s>好然后这样走</s>
<time>1438_00:52:06,642 --> 00:52:07,722</time>
<s>这样走又这样走</s>
<time>1439_00:52:08,802 --> 00:52:09,162</time>
<s>它这个真的</s>
<time>1440_00:52:09,522 --> 00:52:10,242</time>
<s>你看有时候也这样走</s>
<time>1441_00:52:11,322 --> 00:52:13,122</time>
<s>人在中间的穿插都有韵律</s>
<time>1442_00:52:13,482 --> 00:52:14,562</time>
<s>这些韵律就是音乐</s>
<time>1443_00:52:14,922 --> 00:52:16,002</time>
<s>我觉得太重要了</s>
<time>1444_00:52:30,402 --> 00:52:31,122</time>
<s>我画画的尺寸</s>
<time>1445_00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:32,202</time>
<s>是根据我的身高来的</s>
<time>1446_00:52:32,562 --> 00:52:33,282</time>
<s>我正好可以控制</s>
<time>1447_00:52:34,722 --> 00:52:35,802</time>
<s>我不愿意累到自己</s>
<time>1448_00:52:36,522 --> 00:52:37,962</time>
<s>还要搭一个什么台子</s>
<time>1449_00:52:39,762 --> 00:52:40,122</time>
<s>要自在就自在些</s>
<time>1450_00:52:40,482 --> 00:52:40,842</time>
<s>对自在</s>
<time>1451_00:52:41,202 --> 00:52:41,922</time>
<s>我可以走来走去</s>
<time>1452_00:52:43,002 --> 00:52:44,442</time>
<s>就是说其实这个很重要</s>
<time>1453_00:52:44,802 --> 00:52:46,242</time>
<s>就是你画画的时候不要那个（姿势）</s>
<time>1454_00:52:46,602 --> 00:52:47,682</time>
<s>那个太勉强</s>
<time>1455_00:52:48,402 --> 00:52:49,842</time>
<s>太低太高（去）画</s>
<time>1456_00:52:50,562 --> 00:52:51,282</time>
<s>够不着啊</s>
<time>1457_00:52:51,642 --> 00:52:52,362</time>
<s>这个你会画不好的</s>
<time>1458_00:52:53,082 --> 00:52:53,802</time>
<s>那样肯定画不好</s>
<time>1459_00:52:56,322 --> 00:52:57,042</time>
<s>我能涂一下吗</s>
<time>1460_00:52:57,762 --> 00:52:58,122</time>
<s>我可以啊</s>
<time>1461_00:52:58,842 --> 00:52:59,202</time>
<s>你开始画</s>
<time>1462_00:52:59,922 --> 00:53:01,362</time>
<s>我不会画我就涂一下</s>
<time>1463_00:53:03,162 --> 00:53:05,322</time>
<s>我感受一下那个是什么感觉</s>
<time>1464_00:53:07,122 --> 00:53:07,842</time>
<s>等下我拍个照片</s>
<time>1465_00:53:08,202 --> 00:53:08,562</time>
<s>不要着急</s>
<time>1466_00:53:11,082 --> 00:53:12,162</time>
<s>我这不是毁了一个东西吧</s>
<time>1467_00:53:15,042 --> 00:53:16,482</time>
<s>哎你没画（我还没拍到你）画呢</s>
<time>1468_00:53:22,602 --> 00:53:22,962</time>
<s>没毁没毁</s>
<time>1469_00:53:23,322 --> 00:53:24,402</time>
<s>这几笔都还可用</s>
<time>1470_00:53:26,562 --> 00:53:28,362</time>
<s>你看画画多容易啊</s>
<time>1471_00:53:29,082 --> 00:53:30,522</time>
<s>我完全把这画给破坏掉了</s>
<time>1472_00:53:31,242 --> 00:53:31,962</time>
<s>这笔很好啊</s>
<time>1473_00:53:32,682 --> 00:53:33,402</time>
<s>保留下来我要</s>
<time>1474_00:54:20,562 --> 00:54:22,002</time>
<s>画家就是在调色板上</s>
<time>1475_00:54:23,082 --> 00:54:23,442</time>
<s>找颜色</s>
<time>1476_00:54:24,162 --> 00:54:25,962</time>
<s>我特别喜欢灰色</s>
<time>1477_00:54:26,322 --> 00:54:28,122</time>
<s>我这个人就是喜欢那种</s>
<time>1478_00:54:28,482 --> 00:54:29,922</time>
<s>喜欢那种中性的东西</s>
<time>1479_00:54:58,722 --> 00:54:59,442</time>
<s>我们现在这个画法</s>
<time>1480_00:54:59,802 --> 00:55:02,322</time>
<s>都跟我们学校学的背道而驰</s>
<time>1481_00:55:03,042 --> 00:55:05,202</time>
<s>要是我的老师看到我这么画</s>
<time>1482_00:55:05,562 --> 00:55:06,282</time>
<s>肯定绝对不会承认我</s>
<time>1483_00:55:07,002 --> 00:55:07,362</time>
<s>就是这样</s>
<time>1484_00:56:10,362 --> 00:56:13,962</time>
<s>幽兰露歇</s>
<time>1485_00:56:41,322 --> 00:57:06,162</time>
<s>有看待方式。”</s><s>*许知远</s>
