<time>876_00:30:28,482 --> 00:30:29,202</time>
<s>因为我那个时候</s>
<time>877_00:30:29,562 --> 00:30:31,002</time>
<s>一年可能就一部戏</s>
<time>878_00:30:31,362 --> 00:30:32,802</time>
<s>也就是这样的一个量</s>
<time>879_00:30:36,402 --> 00:30:37,842</time>
<s>这组照片确实非常好</s>
<time>880_00:30:42,162 --> 00:30:42,522</time>
<s>你当时怎么没想</s>
<time>881_00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:43,602</time>
<s>顺着这条路子走下去</s>
<time>882_00:30:44,322 --> 00:30:44,682</time>
<s>哪条路</s>
<time>883_00:30:45,042 --> 00:30:45,402</time>
<s>这条路</s>
<time>884_00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:46,482</time>
<s>性感的路</s>
<time>885_00:30:46,842 --> 00:30:47,202</time>
<s>没</s>
<time>886_00:30:48,282 --> 00:30:50,082</time>
<s>其实也没有</s>
<time>887_00:30:53,682 --> 00:30:54,042</time>
<s>怎么说呢</s>
<time>888_00:30:54,402 --> 00:30:56,202</time>
<s>就是有的时候</s>
<time>889_00:30:56,562 --> 00:30:58,362</time>
<s>就是那种打破再重建</s>
<time>890_00:30:58,722 --> 00:30:59,442</time>
<s>可能也是必须的</s>
<time>891_00:31:00,162 --> 00:31:01,242</time>
<s>但是</s>
<time>892_00:31:01,602 --> 00:31:03,762</time>
<s>我觉得没有让我心里觉得</s>
<time>893_00:31:05,202 --> 00:31:06,282</time>
<s>特别棒的时刻</s>
<time>894_00:31:06,642 --> 00:31:07,722</time>
<s>或者说我自己真的觉得</s>
<time>895_00:31:08,082 --> 00:31:09,882</time>
<s>我百分之百做到了的时刻</s>
<time>896_00:31:10,242 --> 00:31:10,602</time>
<s>好像都没有</s>
<time>897_00:31:12,402 --> 00:31:13,122</time>
<s>反正我也不知道</s>
<time>898_00:31:13,482 --> 00:31:14,562</time>
<s>我就觉得少了点什么</s>
<time>899_00:31:14,922 --> 00:31:15,282</time>
<s>我觉得</s>
<time>900_00:31:15,642 --> 00:31:16,362</time>
<s>其实把自已真的扔出去</s>
<time>901_00:31:16,722 --> 00:31:17,802</time>
<s>是很难的一件事</s>
<time>902_00:31:18,162 --> 00:31:18,522</time>
<s>对</s>
<time>903_00:31:18,882 --> 00:31:22,122</time>
<s>尤其是像我这样的性格</s>
<time>904_00:31:22,482 --> 00:31:23,202</time>
<s>确实会比较难</s>
<time>905_00:31:27,162 --> 00:31:27,522</time>
<s>你再听首歌吧</s>
<time>906_00:31:27,882 --> 00:31:28,242</time>
<s>你再来首什么好</s>
<time>907_00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:30,042</time>
<s>你有什么</s>
<time>908_00:31:30,402 --> 00:31:30,762</time>
<s>谷村新司</s>
<time>909_00:31:31,842 --> 00:31:32,922</time>
<s>《花》</s>
<time>910_00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,002</time>
<s>《花》很好听</s>
<time>911_00:31:34,362 --> 00:31:34,722</time>
<s>我特别喜欢那个</s>
<time>912_00:31:35,082 --> 00:31:36,522</time>
<s>你刚刚在唱片店</s>
<time>913_00:31:36,882 --> 00:31:37,602</time>
<s>你就在找这个对吗</s>
<time>914_00:31:38,322 --> 00:31:39,042</time>
<s>我想听《花》对</s>
<time>915_00:31:39,762 --> 00:31:40,482</time>
<s>谢谢</s>
<time>916_00:31:41,562 --> 00:31:41,922</time>
<s>好听</s>
<time>917_00:31:53,442 --> 00:31:54,882</time>
<s>找找歌词给你看看</s>
<time>918_00:31:55,962 --> 00:31:57,402</time>
<s>这肯定被翻唱过吧</s>
<time>919_00:31:58,482 --> 00:31:59,202</time>
<s>应该被翻唱过吧</s>
<time>920_00:31:59,562 --> 00:32:00,282</time>
<s>应该有对</s>
<time>921_00:32:01,722 --> 00:32:03,162</time>
<s>旋律还挺熟的</s>
<time>922_00:32:04,602 --> 00:32:06,042</time>
<s>这是我四十岁左右</s>
<time>923_00:32:06,402 --> 00:32:07,122</time>
<s>特别爱听的一首歌</s>
<time>924_00:32:07,842 --> 00:32:09,282</time>
<s>而且我在痛苦地写我的</s>
<time>925_00:32:09,642 --> 00:32:10,722</time>
<s>梁启超的那个书的时候</s>
<time>926_00:32:11,082 --> 00:32:12,522</time>
<s>我都在听这首歌</s>
<time>927_00:32:13,962 --> 00:32:15,402</time>
<s>它给我很多抚慰</s>
<time>928_00:32:16,842 --> 00:32:17,562</time>
<s>歌词给你看看</s>
<time>929_00:32:22,962 --> 00:32:23,322</time>
<s>这段我特别</s>
<time>930_00:32:25,482 --> 00:32:27,282</time>
<s>花儿啊花儿啊</s>
<time>931_00:32:28,002 --> 00:32:30,882</time>
<s>花儿啊花儿啊请你尽情绽放</s>
<time>932_00:32:31,962 --> 00:32:33,762</time>
<s>化儿啊花儿啊</s>
<time>933_00:32:34,482 --> 00:32:37,722</time>
<s>花儿啊花儿啊请你尽情飞舞</s>
<time>934_00:32:38,442 --> 00:32:39,522</time>
<s>就是我同学翻出来的信</s>
<time>935_00:32:39,882 --> 00:32:41,322</time>
<s>我以前写了一句话说</s>
<time>936_00:32:41,682 --> 00:32:43,842</time>
<s>要在废墟里开出一朵花儿来</s>
<time>937_00:32:44,202 --> 00:32:44,562</time>
<s>我在想</s>
<time>938_00:32:44,922 --> 00:32:45,282</time>
<s>这么</s>
<time>939_00:32:47,082 --> 00:32:48,882</time>
<s>我不应该</s>
<time>940_00:32:49,242 --> 00:32:50,322</time>
<s>嘲笑二十多岁的自己</s>
<time>941_00:32:50,682 --> 00:32:51,042</time>
<s>多可爱啊</s>
<time>942_00:32:51,402 --> 00:32:53,202</time>
<s>对但是就是</s>
<time>943_00:32:53,562 --> 00:32:55,002</time>
<s>那个就是二十多岁的时候</s>
<time>944_00:32:55,362 --> 00:32:57,522</time>
<s>会写下来的东西</s>
<time>945_00:32:57,882 --> 00:32:58,242</time>
<s>嗯对</s>
<time>946_00:32:58,602 --> 00:32:59,322</time>
<s>废墟里开出花来</s>
<time>947_00:33:00,762 --> 00:33:01,122</time>
<s>什么花呢</s>
<time>948_00:33:02,202 --> 00:33:02,562</time>
<s>我不知道</s>
<time>949_00:33:02,922 --> 00:33:03,642</time>
<s>就我会有个画面</s>
<time>950_00:33:04,002 --> 00:33:04,722</time>
<s>就它应该是</s>
<time>951_00:33:05,082 --> 00:33:06,522</time>
<s>就是一朵的红色的</s>
<time>952_00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:08,322</time>
<s>一朵花儿</s>
<time>953_00:33:08,682 --> 00:33:10,482</time>
<s>然后不是那种很多花瓣的</s>
<time>954_00:33:10,842 --> 00:33:11,202</time>
<s>那种花</s>
<time>955_00:33:12,282 --> 00:33:13,002</time>
<s>就对自已期望值</s>
<time>956_00:33:13,362 --> 00:33:14,802</time>
<s>其实还是挺高的</s>
<time>957_00:33:15,162 --> 00:33:15,882</time>
<s>但是</s>
<time>958_00:33:18,762 --> 00:33:20,202</time>
<s>期望自己成什么样呢</s>
<time>959_00:33:20,562 --> 00:33:21,642</time>
<s>因为在别人眼中</s>
<time>960_00:33:22,002 --> 00:33:23,802</time>
<s>一切都看起来那么的顺畅</s>
<time>961_00:33:24,162 --> 00:33:24,882</time>
<s>对是</s>
<time>962_00:33:25,242 --> 00:33:25,602</time>
<s>运气很好</s>
<time>963_00:33:25,962 --> 00:33:27,042</time>
<s>至少在这个行业里面</s>
<time>964_00:33:27,402 --> 00:33:28,122</time>
<s>不断的有人</s>
<time>965_00:33:28,482 --> 00:33:29,562</time>
<s>就是也不用争取</s>
<time>966_00:33:29,922 --> 00:33:30,642</time>
<s>台然后一直有人</s>
<time>967_00:33:31,002 --> 00:33:32,082</time>
<s>台给你机会工作</s>
<time>968_00:33:32,442 --> 00:33:32,802</time>
<s>向你涌过来</s>
<time>969_00:33:33,522 --> 00:33:34,242</time>
<s>但是可能那些想做</s>
<time>970_00:33:34,602 --> 00:33:34,962</time>
<s>那些东西</s>
<time>971_00:33:35,322 --> 00:33:37,122</time>
<s>也未必是我最想做的东西</s>
<time>972_00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:38,202</time>
<s>我最想做的事情</s>
<time>973_00:33:39,642 --> 00:33:41,442</time>
<s>和我那时候热爱的那种电影</s>
<time>974_00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:43,242</time>
<s>可能它没有到我身边来</s>
<time>975_00:33:45,402 --> 00:33:46,842</time>
<s>我在小的时候演过的角色</s>
<time>976_00:33:47,922 --> 00:33:50,082</time>
<s>都是一些单一性的角色</s>
<time>977_00:33:50,802 --> 00:33:52,242</time>
<s>我有一段时间里面</s>
<time>978_00:33:52,602 --> 00:33:54,402</time>
<s>很抗拒别人一直</s>
<time>979_00:33:54,762 --> 00:33:56,922</time>
<s>就是在讲那个容貌上的事</s>
<time>980_00:33:58,002 --> 00:33:59,442</time>
<s>等于这是其实是一个</s>
<time>981_00:33:59,802 --> 00:34:00,882</time>
<s>长期某种意义上</s>
<time>982_00:34:01,242 --> 00:34:01,962</time>
<s>折磨你的一个东西</s>
<time>983_00:34:03,042 --> 00:34:03,762</time>
<s>但是就能让我自己</s>
<time>984_00:34:04,122 --> 00:34:05,202</time>
<s>想明白这件事的</s>
<time>985_00:34:06,282 --> 00:34:08,442</time>
<s>一个点也是就是我觉得</s>
<time>986_00:34:08,802 --> 00:34:09,522</time>
<s>就是客观的事情</s>
<time>987_00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:11,322</time>
<s>其实是没有必要逃避</s>
<time>988_00:34:11,682 --> 00:34:12,762</time>
<s>我不是特别自满地说</s>
<time>989_00:34:13,122 --> 00:34:13,842</time>
<s>这个是客观的</s>
<time>990_00:34:14,202 --> 00:34:15,642</time>
<s>但是就是你其实不能改变</s>
<time>991_00:34:16,002 --> 00:34:16,721</time>
<s>别人看到的东西</s>
<time>992_00:34:17,082 --> 00:34:18,161</time>
<s>如果你想要改变的话</s>
<time>993_00:34:18,522 --> 00:34:19,602</time>
<s>那首先你得先改变</s>
<time>994_00:34:20,322 --> 00:34:21,762</time>
<s>就是我得先让别人能认识到</s>
<time>995_00:34:22,122 --> 00:34:23,562</time>
<s>我有更突出擅长的东西</s>
<time>996_00:34:23,922 --> 00:34:25,362</time>
<s>我才能让别人忽略那个东西</s>
<time>997_00:34:28,241 --> 00:34:29,322</time>
<s>我也不知道是不是算自虐吧</s>
<time>998_00:34:29,682 --> 00:34:31,122</time>
<s>就是我会先从我自已身上</s>
<time>999_00:34:31,482 --> 00:34:32,201</time>
<s>在找这个原因</s>
<time>1000_00:34:32,562 --> 00:34:33,281</time>
<s>是自虐</s>
<time>1001_00:34:34,721 --> 00:34:36,162</time>
<s>但我觉得这个也能让我解脱</s>
<time>1002_00:34:36,522 --> 00:34:38,682</time>
<s>不然我想不明白这个事</s>
<time>1003_00:34:39,042 --> 00:34:40,122</time>
<s>你总不能一直是</s>
<time>1004_00:34:40,482 --> 00:34:41,922</time>
<s>去对抗的一个状态</s>
<time>1005_00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:43,722</time>
<s>我只能说我从另外一个方面</s>
<time>1006_00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,162</time>
<s>更多的证明我自己</s>
<time>1007_00:34:45,522 --> 00:34:46,602</time>
<s>那没有被大家看到</s>
<time>1008_00:34:46,962 --> 00:34:48,042</time>
<s>就我还没做到</s>
<time>1009_00:34:48,762 --> 00:34:50,201</time>
<s>其实美是双刃剑的</s>
<time>1010_00:34:50,562 --> 00:34:51,282</time>
<s>它一方面是会很好地</s>
<time>1011_00:34:51,642 --> 00:34:52,362</time>
<s>保护你的</s>
<time>1012_00:34:52,722 --> 00:34:53,802</time>
<s>另一方面又可能是带来</s>
<time>1013_00:34:54,162 --> 00:34:54,522</time>
<s>巨大的伤害</s>
<time>1014_00:34:57,042 --> 00:34:58,122</time>
<s>我在想可能真的是</s>
<time>1015_00:35:00,282 --> 00:35:01,002</time>
<s>我没有更有</s>
<time>1016_00:35:02,082 --> 00:35:03,521</time>
<s>才华的地方</s>
<time>1017_00:35:03,882 --> 00:35:04,962</time>
<s>我对我自己认识得</s>
<time>1018_00:35:05,322 --> 00:35:06,042</time>
<s>更透彻一点</s>
<time>1019_00:35:07,482 --> 00:35:08,922</time>
<s>也许是一条捷径</s>
<time>1020_00:35:09,282 --> 00:35:09,642</time>
<s>对</s>
<time>1021_00:35:10,002 --> 00:35:11,082</time>
<s>你讲这个太有</s>
<time>1022_00:35:11,442 --> 00:35:12,522</time>
<s>其实让我有点意外的</s>
<time>1023_00:35:12,882 --> 00:35:13,962</time>
<s>因为这问题也挺困扰</s>
<time>1024_00:35:14,322 --> 00:35:15,042</time>
<s>也困扰我的</s>
<time>1025_00:35:15,402 --> 00:35:16,842</time>
<s>保持清醒有的时候很烦的</s>
<time>1026_00:35:17,202 --> 00:35:18,282</time>
<s>有的时候使你变得很</s>
<time>1027_00:35:19,721 --> 00:35:20,082</time>
<s>很束缚</s>
<time>1028_00:35:21,882 --> 00:35:22,962</time>
<s>而且很多那种</s>
<time>1029_00:35:24,402 --> 00:35:25,482</time>
<s>那种自由的感觉</s>
<time>1030_00:35:25,842 --> 00:35:26,562</time>
<s>才经常是一个</s>
<time>1031_00:35:26,922 --> 00:35:28,002</time>
<s>通向你渴望方向的那种可能性</s>
<time>1032_00:35:28,362 --> 00:35:29,442</time>
<s>是的</s>
<time>1033_00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,962</time>
<s>而且可能在那个过程里面</s>
<time>1034_00:35:35,202 --> 00:35:36,282</time>
<s>产生出来的东西</s>
<time>1035_00:35:36,642 --> 00:35:38,082</time>
<s>我不知道是不是也许会更</s>
<time>1036_00:35:38,442 --> 00:35:38,802</time>
<s>更动人</s>
<time>1037_00:35:39,161 --> 00:35:39,522</time>
<s>更</s>
<time>1038_00:35:41,322 --> 00:35:42,402</time>
<s>我那时候特别喜欢</s>
<time>1039_00:35:42,762 --> 00:35:44,202</time>
<s>朱丽叶·比诺什</s>
<time>1040_00:35:44,562 --> 00:35:45,282</time>
<s>然后我看她</s>
<time>1041_00:35:45,642 --> 00:35:46,721</time>
<s>《新桥恋人》有一段</s>
<time>1042_00:35:47,082 --> 00:35:47,802</time>
<s>就在桥上这头</s>
<time>1043_00:35:48,882 --> 00:35:49,602</time>
<s>舞到那头</s>
<time>1044_00:35:49,962 --> 00:35:51,042</time>
<s>我就觉得就是</s>
<time>1045_00:35:51,402 --> 00:35:52,122</time>
<s>好有生命力啊</s>
<time>1046_00:35:52,482 --> 00:35:55,362</time>
<s>她2009年还是2010年</s>
<time>1047_00:35:55,722 --> 00:35:56,802</time>
<s>还来北京做过一次演出</s>
<time>1048_00:35:57,161 --> 00:35:57,882</time>
<s>她的舞蹈的演出</s>
<time>1049_00:35:58,242 --> 00:35:59,322</time>
<s>她没有从小</s>
<time>1050_00:35:59,682 --> 00:36:01,122</time>
<s>受舞蹈的系统训练</s>
<time>1051_00:36:01,482 --> 00:36:02,922</time>
<s>但是她敢于在舞台上一个人</s>
<time>1052_00:36:03,282 --> 00:36:04,721</time>
<s>可以跳那么久</s>
<time>1053_00:36:06,522 --> 00:36:06,882</time>
<s>就是</s>
<time>1054_00:36:08,322 --> 00:36:09,402</time>
<s>我知道我觉得我心里</s>
<time>1055_00:36:09,762 --> 00:36:10,842</time>
<s>可能总是有一个怕丑</s>
<time>1056_00:36:11,202 --> 00:36:11,922</time>
<s>然后总是有一个</s>
<time>1057_00:36:14,082 --> 00:36:14,802</time>
<s>怕出丑的一个</s>
<time>1058_00:36:15,161 --> 00:36:15,882</time>
<s>那个心态在里面</s>
<time>1059_00:36:16,242 --> 00:36:18,762</time>
<s>所以也会有像你刚刚说的</s>
<time>1060_00:36:19,122 --> 00:36:20,201</time>
<s>我不迈出那一步</s>
<time>1061_00:36:20,561 --> 00:36:22,722</time>
<s>我常常会觉得我没机会迈</s>
<time>1062_00:36:23,082 --> 00:36:24,161</time>
<s>但我知道我迈出去了</s>
<time>1063_00:36:24,522 --> 00:36:25,602</time>
<s>其实可能是我自己已出丑</s>
<time>1064_00:36:27,042 --> 00:36:27,402</time>
<s>还是</s>
<time>1065_00:36:28,842 --> 00:36:29,562</time>
<s>对我们</s>
<time>1066_00:36:29,922 --> 00:36:30,642</time>
<s>但不是说你</s>
<time>1067_00:36:31,002 --> 00:36:32,082</time>
<s>是你说的那个心态我能理解</s>
<time>1068_00:36:32,442 --> 00:36:33,882</time>
<s>我觉得普遍有这种</s>
<time>1069_00:36:34,242 --> 00:36:34,962</time>
<s>有点</s>
<time>1070_00:36:35,322 --> 00:36:36,042</time>
<s>胆怯</s>
<time>1071_00:36:36,402 --> 00:36:37,842</time>
<s>拘谨和胆在一起</s>
<time>1072_00:36:38,202 --> 00:36:39,281</time>
<s>为什么呢</s>
<time>1073_00:36:40,002 --> 00:36:41,802</time>
<s>我觉得好像挺普遍的还是</s>
<time>1074_00:36:42,161 --> 00:36:42,522</time>
<s>是因为我们脑子里面</s>
<time>1075_00:36:42,882 --> 00:36:43,242</time>
<s>教育吧</s>
<time>1076_00:36:43,602 --> 00:36:44,681</time>
<s>教育和我们脑子里面</s>
<time>1077_00:36:45,042 --> 00:36:46,122</time>
<s>听的看的太多了</s>
<time>1078_00:36:46,482 --> 00:36:47,201</time>
<s>我觉得是教育给我们带来的</s>
<time>1079_00:36:48,282 --> 00:36:49,362</time>
<s>太自以为是了吧</s>
<time>1080_00:36:49,722 --> 00:36:50,442</time>
<s>就是太把自己的这些</s>
<time>1081_00:36:50,802 --> 00:36:51,162</time>
<s>当回事了</s>
<time>1082_00:36:51,522 --> 00:36:52,242</time>
<s>其实无所谓的</s>
<time>1083_00:36:52,602 --> 00:36:53,682</time>
<s>就能怎样啊谁在乎啊</s>
<time>1084_00:36:54,042 --> 00:36:55,122</time>
<s>这倒也是是的</s>
<time>1085_00:36:55,482 --> 00:36:56,562</time>
<s>出丑就出丑就这样呗</s>
<time>1086_00:36:56,922 --> 00:36:58,002</time>
<s>是的</s>
<time>1087_00:36:58,362 --> 00:36:59,082</time>
<s>所以我每次看到那种</s>
<time>1088_00:36:59,442 --> 00:37:00,521</time>
<s>特别放松的</s>
<time>1089_00:37:00,882 --> 00:37:01,962</time>
<s>然后看着像是</s>
<time>1090_00:37:02,322 --> 00:37:03,762</time>
<s>可以随风飘荡的那些人</s>
<time>1091_00:37:04,122 --> 00:37:04,482</time>
<s>我就特别美慕</s>
<time>1092_00:37:04,842 --> 00:37:05,922</time>
<s>就他那种自在劲</s>
<time>1093_00:37:06,282 --> 00:37:07,362</time>
<s>是的我觉得这个</s>
<time>1094_00:37:07,722 --> 00:37:08,802</time>
<s>我身上没这个东西</s>
<time>1095_00:37:09,162 --> 00:37:09,882</time>
<s>是我做演员的一个</s>
<time>1096_00:37:10,241 --> 00:37:10,962</time>
<s>非常大的一个障碍</s>
<time>1097_00:37:11,322 --> 00:37:12,402</time>
<s>我那种自我审视的东西</s>
<time>1098_00:37:12,762 --> 00:37:13,482</time>
<s>太多了</s>
<time>1099_00:37:14,922 --> 00:37:15,282</time>
<s>我以为我投入</s>
<time>1100_00:37:15,642 --> 00:37:16,722</time>
<s>但是我一边投入</s>
<time>1101_00:37:17,082 --> 00:37:18,882</time>
<s>自我的审视大于我的投入</s>
<time>1102_00:37:19,242 --> 00:37:19,602</time>
<s>其实</s>
<time>1103_00:37:20,682 --> 00:37:21,042</time>
<s>但你想过</s>
<time>1104_00:37:21,402 --> 00:37:21,762</time>
<s>就你的这种</s>
<time>1105_00:37:22,122 --> 00:37:22,482</time>
<s>自我审视太多</s>
<time>1106_00:37:23,562 --> 00:37:23,922</time>
<s>你觉得什么原因呢</s>
<time>1107_00:37:28,241 --> 00:37:29,322</time>
<s>我最近也在看这个书嘛</s>
<time>1108_00:37:29,682 --> 00:37:30,402</time>
<s>因为你之前提到</s>
<time>1109_00:37:30,762 --> 00:37:31,122</time>
<s>这个《东京塔》</s>
<time>1110_00:37:31,482 --> 00:37:32,202</time>
<s>那段时间（妈妈去世后）</s>
<time>1111_00:37:32,562 --> 00:37:33,282</time>
<s>就很感动我看的时候</s>
<time>1112_00:37:33,642 --> 00:37:34,002</time>
<s>你看了是吧</s>
<time>1113_00:37:34,722 --> 00:37:35,802</time>
<s>而且就是那么多</s>
<time>1114_00:37:36,522 --> 00:37:38,682</time>
<s>全是那些各种非常细碎的</s>
<time>1115_00:37:39,041 --> 00:37:39,402</time>
<s>那些细节</s>
<time>1116_00:37:39,762 --> 00:37:40,122</time>
<s>对</s>
<time>1117_00:37:40,482 --> 00:37:41,922</time>
<s>然后我不看这种书</s>
<time>1118_00:37:42,281 --> 00:37:43,362</time>
<s>我都会想不起来这些事情</s>
<time>1119_00:37:44,082 --> 00:37:44,442</time>
<s>你就觉得</s>
<time>1120_00:37:45,522 --> 00:37:46,242</time>
<s>这些记忆很</s>
<time>1121_00:37:48,402 --> 00:37:50,562</time>
<s>因为我跟我们家父母的关系</s>
<time>1122_00:37:51,282 --> 00:37:51,642</time>
<s>就感觉</s>
<time>1123_00:37:52,002 --> 00:37:52,721</time>
<s>挺疏离的</s>
<time>1124_00:37:53,082 --> 00:37:53,442</time>
<s>我觉得那些细节</s>
<time>1125_00:37:53,802 --> 00:37:55,242</time>
<s>都好像不够多似的</s>
<time>1126_00:37:56,682 --> 00:37:57,402</time>
<s>甚至我们那时候就</s>
<time>1127_00:37:57,762 --> 00:37:59,922</time>
<s>一心想逃离这些琐碎的东西</s>
<time>1128_00:38:00,282 --> 00:38:00,642</time>
<s>想逃走</s>
<time>1129_00:38:01,002 --> 00:38:02,082</time>
<s>对其实这个作者也一样</s>
<time>1130_00:38:02,442 --> 00:38:03,522</time>
<s>你看北野武写他</s>
<time>1131_00:38:04,241 --> 00:38:04,962</time>
<s>小时候也是</s>
<time>1132_00:38:05,322 --> 00:38:06,402</time>
<s>也是那样的</s>
<time>1133_00:38:07,122 --> 00:38:08,922</time>
<s>你知道这个作者是个演员吗</s>
<time>1134_00:38:09,642 --> 00:38:10,002</time>
<s>是吗</s>
<time>1135_00:38:10,362 --> 00:38:10,721</time>
<s>作者是演</s>
<time>1136_00:38:11,082 --> 00:38:12,522</time>
<s>《如父如子》里面的那个</s>
<time>1137_00:38:12,882 --> 00:38:13,242</time>
<s>然后还有</s>
<time>1138_00:38:13,602 --> 00:38:14,322</time>
<s>《小偷家族》里面的</s>
<time>1139_00:38:14,682 --> 00:38:15,402</time>
<s>那个男主角</s>
<time>1140_00:38:15,762 --> 00:38:16,482</time>
<s>是他</s>
<time>1141_00:38:16,842 --> 00:38:17,561</time>
<s>对</s>
<time>1142_00:38:18,281 --> 00:38:18,642</time>
<s>这么可爱</s>
<time>1143_00:38:20,442 --> 00:38:21,882</time>
<s>你是应该是</s>
<time>1144_00:38:23,682 --> 00:38:24,762</time>
<s>哪一年读的这个书大概是</s>
<time>1145_00:38:26,201 --> 00:38:27,282</time>
<s>我有点记不得了</s>
<time>1146_00:38:27,641 --> 00:38:28,362</time>
<s>2010年之后了</s>
<time>1147_00:38:28,722 --> 00:38:29,442</time>
<s>应该是</s>
<time>1148_00:38:30,522 --> 00:38:30,882</time>
<s>给你翻翻</s>
<time>1149_00:38:32,322 --> 00:38:32,682</time>
<s>等于那段时间</s>
<time>1150_00:38:33,042 --> 00:38:34,482</time>
<s>给你很多的慰籍是吧</s>
<time>1151_00:38:34,842 --> 00:38:35,201</time>
<s>这本书等于是</s>
<time>1152_00:38:35,562 --> 00:38:35,922</time>
<s>对</s>
<time>1153_00:38:36,282 --> 00:38:37,002</time>
<s>然后</s>
<time>1154_00:38:40,962 --> 00:38:41,682</time>
<s>他妈妈也跟我妈妈</s>
<time>1155_00:38:42,042 --> 00:38:42,762</time>
<s>也很不一样</s>
<time>1156_00:38:43,122 --> 00:38:43,482</time>
<s>但是</s>
<time>1157_00:38:44,922 --> 00:38:45,642</time>
<s>他妈妈挺强大的</s>
<time>1158_00:38:46,002 --> 00:38:48,522</time>
<s>对就是可能我是这种妈妈吧</s>
<time>1159_00:38:49,602 --> 00:38:50,682</time>
<s>我会成为这样的女性</s>
<time>1160_00:38:52,122 --> 00:38:53,202</time>
<s>但我很多年都</s>
<time>1161_00:38:56,082 --> 00:38:56,802</time>
<s>都没有读</s>
<time>1162_00:38:58,602 --> 00:38:59,322</time>
<s>我不想看了</s>
<time>1163_00:38:59,682 --> 00:39:00,402</time>
<s>不好意思</s>
<time>1164_00:39:02,202 --> 00:39:02,922</time>
<s>因为看到</s>
<time>1165_00:39:03,281 --> 00:39:04,721</time>
<s>看到比较后面的部分了</s>
<time>1166_00:39:08,682 --> 00:39:09,402</time>
<s>我好像这些年</s>
<time>1167_00:39:09,762 --> 00:39:11,562</time>
<s>都不太会让自己</s>
<time>1168_00:39:12,282 --> 00:39:13,002</time>
<s>陷到这个情绪里</s>
<time>1169_00:39:13,721 --> 00:39:15,162</time>
<s>那这个可能也是你刚刚说的</s>
<time>1170_00:39:15,522 --> 00:39:16,602</time>
<s>你在回避那个东西</s>
<time>1171_00:39:20,201 --> 00:39:22,002</time>
<s>这就有点像本能一样</s>
<time>1172_00:39:23,442 --> 00:39:24,522</time>
<s>对其实我也不知道怎么去</s>
<time>1173_00:39:24,882 --> 00:39:25,242</time>
<s>问这些问题</s>
<time>1174_00:39:25,602 --> 00:39:26,682</time>
<s>我也觉得不自在</s>
<time>1175_00:39:27,042 --> 00:39:27,402</time>
<s>没事没关系</s>
<time>1176_00:39:27,762 --> 00:39:28,482</time>
<s>但是我又觉得</s>
<time>1177_00:39:28,842 --> 00:39:29,562</time>
<s>就是你和母亲的关系</s>
<time>1178_00:39:29,922 --> 00:39:30,642</time>
<s>又非常深刻地</s>
<time>1179_00:39:31,002 --> 00:39:32,082</time>
<s>定义了你的性格</s>
<time>1180_00:39:32,442 --> 00:39:33,522</time>
<s>就是她可能是你人生中</s>
<time>1181_00:39:33,882 --> 00:39:34,962</time>
<s>最重要的一个定义者</s>
<time>1182_00:39:35,322 --> 00:39:36,402</time>
<s>她通过另一种方式</s>
<time>1183_00:39:36,762 --> 00:39:37,482</time>
<s>来定义你</s>
<time>1184_00:39:37,842 --> 00:39:38,922</time>
<s>是就是我</s>
<time>1185_00:39:42,882 --> 00:39:43,962</time>
<s>就我是她的女儿</s>
<time>1186_00:39:44,322 --> 00:39:45,762</time>
<s>就是这个东西</s>
<time>1187_00:39:46,842 --> 00:39:48,642</time>
<s>完全没有办法</s>
<time>1188_00:39:49,362 --> 00:39:49,722</time>
<s>被改变</s>
<time>1189_00:39:50,082 --> 00:39:50,442</time>
<s>就是她走了</s>
<time>1190_00:39:50,802 --> 00:39:51,162</time>
<s>我这一生</s>
<time>1191_00:39:51,522 --> 00:39:52,962</time>
<s>其实都会跟着这个东西</s>
<time>1192_00:39:54,402 --> 00:39:55,482</time>
<s>有时候我那会看你的材料</s>
<time>1193_00:39:55,842 --> 00:39:56,202</time>
<s>我就在想</s>
<time>1194_00:39:57,642 --> 00:39:59,082</time>
<s>是不是妈妈如果身体不是</s>
<time>1195_00:39:59,442 --> 00:40:00,162</time>
<s>不是这样的状况</s>
<time>1196_00:40:00,522 --> 00:40:00,882</time>
<s>是不是你的人生道路</s>
<time>1197_00:40:01,241 --> 00:40:01,962</time>
<s>会是不一样的</s>
<time>1198_00:40:02,322 --> 00:40:03,761</time>
<s>我觉得会的</s>
<time>1199_00:40:04,482 --> 00:40:05,201</time>
<s>你觉得会是什么样呢</s>
<time>1200_00:40:05,562 --> 00:40:05,922</time>
<s>你想过吗</s>
<time>1201_00:40:06,282 --> 00:40:06,642</time>
<s>更放肆</s>
<time>1202_00:40:07,002 --> 00:40:08,442</time>
<s>我一直在说放肆</s>
<time>1203_00:40:11,682 --> 00:40:12,762</time>
<s>也许我小时候会离开家</s>
<time>1204_00:40:16,362 --> 00:40:17,442</time>
<s>她的影响</s>
<time>1205_00:40:19,241 --> 00:40:21,402</time>
<s>其实很多东西都不是</s>
<time>1206_00:40:21,762 --> 00:40:23,202</time>
<s>不是正向的</s>
<time>1207_00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:25,722</time>
<s>我非常喜欢她这个人</s>
<time>1208_00:40:26,082 --> 00:40:27,882</time>
<s>不仅她是我妈妈的原因</s>
<time>1209_00:40:28,242 --> 00:40:29,322</time>
<s>我觉得她很可爱</s>
<time>1210_00:40:29,682 --> 00:40:31,482</time>
<s>然后她是我一个非常喜欢</s>
<time>1211_00:40:31,842 --> 00:40:32,922</time>
<s>如果她是我的朋友</s>
<time>1212_00:40:33,282 --> 00:40:34,722</time>
<s>我都会很喜欢她这个人</s>
<time>1213_00:40:35,082 --> 00:40:37,962</time>
<s>但是我不能成为她那样的人</s>
<time>1214_00:40:38,322 --> 00:40:39,042</time>
<s>然后我也不想要</s>
<time>1215_00:40:39,402 --> 00:40:40,482</time>
<s>成为她那样的人</s>
<time>1216_00:40:40,842 --> 00:40:41,562</time>
<s>就是她的</s>
<time>1217_00:40:41,922 --> 00:40:44,082</time>
<s>她整个人的各种状态吧</s>
<time>1218_00:40:45,161 --> 00:40:47,322</time>
<s>我可能就是没办法用回避吧</s>
<time>1219_00:40:47,682 --> 00:40:48,402</time>
<s>可能是反方向的</s>
<time>1220_00:40:48,762 --> 00:40:50,922</time>
<s>就是我觉得我只有是用去</s>
<time>1221_00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:54,882</time>
<s>用我去做的方式才能够去</s>
<time>1222_00:40:55,602 --> 00:40:56,682</time>
<s>对抗这个东西</s>
<time>1223_00:40:57,042 --> 00:40:58,122</time>
<s>因为我看到了</s>
<time>1224_00:40:58,482 --> 00:40:59,202</time>
<s>用回避的方式的</s>
<time>1225_00:40:59,562 --> 00:41:00,282</time>
<s>那个痛苦</s>
<time>1226_00:41:00,641 --> 00:41:01,722</time>
<s>我表姐出国很多年</s>
<time>1227_00:41:02,082 --> 00:41:04,602</time>
<s>回来面对她妈妈走的那个状态</s>
<time>1228_00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:05,682</time>
<s>那个是我</s>
<time>1229_00:41:06,762 --> 00:41:07,842</time>
<s>觉得我更不能承受的</s>
<time>1230_00:41:08,202 --> 00:41:10,002</time>
<s>那我宁可就选择我当下去做</s>
<time>1231_00:41:10,362 --> 00:41:11,082</time>
<s>所以那个时候就</s>
<time>1232_00:41:12,522 --> 00:41:13,241</time>
<s>也不太离开北京</s>
<time>1233_00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:14,682</time>
<s>然后也</s>
<time>1234_00:41:15,042 --> 00:41:15,762</time>
<s>每次做选择的时候</s>
<time>1235_00:41:16,122 --> 00:41:16,482</time>
<s>可能都以</s>
<time>1236_00:41:16,842 --> 00:41:17,922</time>
<s>我是不是要离家太久了</s>
<time>1237_00:41:18,281 --> 00:41:19,362</time>
<s>做一个前提</s>
<time>1238_00:41:20,442 --> 00:41:21,882</time>
<s>然后甚至有点病态的</s>
<time>1239_00:41:22,241 --> 00:41:23,682</time>
<s>觉得我当我今天开车出去</s>
<time>1240_00:41:24,042 --> 00:41:25,122</time>
<s>要去跟朋友聚会的时候</s>
<time>1241_00:41:25,482 --> 00:41:27,281</time>
<s>我会觉得有点罪恶感</s>
<time>1242_00:41:28,362 --> 00:41:29,082</time>
<s>其实我家人</s>
<time>1243_00:41:29,442 --> 00:41:31,242</time>
<s>从来没有给我这种感觉</s>
<time>1244_00:41:31,602 --> 00:41:32,322</time>
<s>是我自己</s>
<time>1245_00:41:32,682 --> 00:41:34,122</time>
<s>就是给自己施加了</s>
<time>1246_00:41:34,482 --> 00:41:35,562</time>
<s>这些东西在我自己身上</s>
<time>1247_00:41:36,282 --> 00:41:38,082</time>
<s>就已经到有点病态的感觉了</s>
<time>1248_00:41:39,162 --> 00:41:39,522</time>
<s>然后拍戏</s>
<time>1249_00:41:39,882 --> 00:41:41,682</time>
<s>我之所以那么容易做选择</s>
<time>1250_00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:42,402</time>
<s>是因为</s>
<time>1251_00:41:42,762 --> 00:41:43,482</time>
<s>其实很多时候</s>
<time>1252_00:41:43,842 --> 00:41:44,922</time>
<s>都是我当下能不能拍戏</s>
<time>1253_00:41:45,282 --> 00:41:46,722</time>
<s>而不是我想不想拍戏</s>
<time>1254_00:41:47,082 --> 00:41:48,162</time>
<s>就是这段时间家里</s>
<time>1255_00:41:48,522 --> 00:41:48,882</time>
<s>都很好</s>
<time>1256_00:41:49,241 --> 00:41:49,962</time>
<s>我可以出来拍戏</s>
<time>1257_00:41:50,322 --> 00:41:51,402</time>
<s>这个是前提</s>
<time>1258_00:41:52,122 --> 00:41:53,202</time>
<s>然后拍戏的时候</s>
<time>1259_00:41:53,562 --> 00:41:55,002</time>
<s>又很容易患得患失</s>
<time>1260_00:41:55,362 --> 00:41:55,722</time>
<s>就会觉得</s>
<time>1261_00:41:56,442 --> 00:41:57,522</time>
<s>我把这个时间用在这儿了</s>
<time>1262_00:41:57,882 --> 00:41:59,322</time>
<s>然后结果是这样的</s>
<time>1263_00:41:59,682 --> 00:42:02,562</time>
<s>我其实更应该用在家人身上</s>
<time>1264_00:42:02,922 --> 00:42:04,721</time>
<s>所以就是一个</s>
<time>1265_00:42:05,082 --> 00:42:06,882</time>
<s>能够一直在创造</s>
<time>1266_00:42:07,242 --> 00:42:09,042</time>
<s>一直在镜头前磨练的</s>
<time>1267_00:42:09,402 --> 00:42:10,122</time>
<s>大部分的时间</s>
<time>1268_00:42:10,482 --> 00:42:12,282</time>
<s>其实已经已经流逝掉了</s>
<time>1269_00:42:22,361 --> 00:42:23,082</time>
<s>想英出米您</s>
<time>1270_00:42:23,802 --> 00:42:26,322</time>
<s>想要哭出来激</s>
<time>1271_00:42:26,681 --> 00:42:27,042</time>
<s>想要哭出来对你的爱让我疼痛　游</s>
<time>1272_00:42:28,842 --> 00:42:30,642</time>
<s>想要哭出来对你的爱让我疼痛</s>
<time>1273_00:42:34,242 --> 00:42:34,602</time>
<s>你哪儿也别去</s>
<time>1274_00:42:36,402 --> 00:42:40,002</time>
<s>你哪儿也别去请留在我身边屏在呼吸</s>
<time>1275_00:42:50,802 --> 00:42:51,162</time>
<s>其实我一直不知道</s>
<time>1276_00:42:51,522 --> 00:42:52,962</time>
<s>怎么面对人生</s>
<time>1277_00:42:54,042 --> 00:42:55,481</time>
<s>特别感伤的部分</s>
<time>1278_00:42:57,642 --> 00:42:59,442</time>
<s>好像在回避那些事情</s>
<time>1279_00:42:59,802 --> 00:43:00,522</time>
<s>就是你目前为止</s>
<time>1280_00:43:00,882 --> 00:43:01,962</time>
<s>还没有遇到过</s>
<time>1281_00:43:02,681 --> 00:43:03,042</time>
<s>那种分离</s>
<time>1282_00:43:03,402 --> 00:43:04,482</time>
<s>应该是吧</s>
<time>1283_00:43:04,842 --> 00:43:06,282</time>
<s>其实也是很幸运的事</s>
<time>1284_00:43:07,721 --> 00:43:08,801</time>
<s>越晚来越好吧</s>
<time>1285_00:43:09,162 --> 00:43:09,882</time>
<s>其实你应该也会有</s>
<time>1286_00:43:10,242 --> 00:43:10,602</time>
<s>更多的能量</s>
<time>1287_00:43:10,962 --> 00:43:11,682</time>
<s>去承载这个东西</s>
<time>1288_00:43:12,041 --> 00:43:13,122</time>
<s>相对于年少的时候</s>
<time>1289_00:43:14,922 --> 00:43:17,082</time>
<s>也可能变得更苍白呗</s>
<time>1290_00:43:17,802 --> 00:43:19,602</time>
<s>缺乏更复杂的东西</s>
<time>1291_00:43:19,961 --> 00:43:21,762</time>
<s>不会那一定是好事</s>
<time>1292_00:43:22,122 --> 00:43:22,842</time>
<s>那真的是好事</s>
<time>1293_00:43:24,282 --> 00:43:25,722</time>
<s>是很幸运的事</s>
<time>1294_00:43:29,322 --> 00:43:30,762</time>
<s>这些年我好像趋于平静了</s>
<time>1295_00:43:32,201 --> 00:43:33,282</time>
<s>就是碰到赵又廷这个人</s>
<time>1296_00:43:33,642 --> 00:43:35,082</time>
<s>他还是让我变化蛮多的</s>
<time>1297_00:43:36,162 --> 00:43:37,242</time>
<s>就是我们两个挺像的</s>
<time>1298_00:43:37,602 --> 00:43:38,322</time>
<s>然后</s>
<time>1299_00:43:38,682 --> 00:43:40,842</time>
<s>就觉得我坚持的一些东西</s>
<time>1300_00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:41,922</time>
<s>也没有太大问题</s>
<time>1301_00:43:42,282 --> 00:43:43,362</time>
<s>因为有一个我认同的人</s>
<time>1302_00:43:43,722 --> 00:43:45,162</time>
<s>跟我是差不多的</s>
<time>1303_00:43:47,322 --> 00:43:48,402</time>
<s>没有解释太多</s>
<time>1304_00:43:48,762 --> 00:43:49,482</time>
<s>没有什么内耗</s>
<time>1305_00:43:49,841 --> 00:43:51,641</time>
<s>又被肯定了很多</s>
<time>1306_00:43:53,442 --> 00:43:54,882</time>
<s>一下获得某种稳定</s>
<time>1307_00:43:55,242 --> 00:43:55,962</time>
<s>对对</s>
<time>1308_00:43:56,322 --> 00:43:57,402</time>
<s>这个真的是我觉得</s>
