<time>541_00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,520</time>
<s>她在学校学习成绩很好</s>
<time>542_00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:36,960</time>
<s>可是中学毕业以后</s>
<time>543_00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,840</time>
<s>家里实在没有办法让她再继续升学了</s>
<time>544_00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,080</time>
<s>而一个中学毕业的女生穷人家</s>
<time>545_00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:44,520</time>
<s>实在也是没有出路的</s>
<time>546_00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:49,200</time>
<s>结果她就只有待在家里替母亲做事</s>
<time>547_00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,160</time>
<s>然后也在菜市场里面摆摊子卖菜</s>
<time>548_00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,680</time>
<s>结果大户人家的一个公子</s>
<time>549_00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,840</time>
<s>就看上她了就追求她</s>
<time>550_00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,800</time>
<s>接下来的故事就是把她娶回家去</s>
<time>551_00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,320</time>
<s>听起来好像就是灰姑娘的故事</s>
<time>552_00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,480</time>
<s>真实（的情况）却不是这样子的</s>
<time>553_00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,440</time>
<s>戴妈妈嫁过去以后过了几年非人生活</s>
<time>554_00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,840</time>
<s>因为那一户人家全家上下都不把她当人看</s>
<time>555_00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,280</time>
<s>非常瞧不起她</s>
<time>556_00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,800</time>
<s>就把她当成佣人一样打打骂骂</s>
<time>557_00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,240</time>
<s>不给她饭吃</s>
<time>558_00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,200</time>
<s>最苦的时候甚至她连卫生棉都没有</s>
<time>559_00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:31,320</time>
<s>她被迫要请求邻居带字条回去给她娘家的母亲</s>
<time>560_00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,640</time>
<s>请求她母亲买一些卫生棉来给她</s>
<time>561_00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,320</time>
<s>她甚至也不被允许回娘家去</s>
<time>562_00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:45,000</time>
<s>所以在夫家几年只回去过两次娘家</s>
<time>563_00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:47,880</time>
<s>最后的时候她实在忍无可忍了</s>
<time>564_00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,480</time>
<s>那时候小戴还是一个小孩子还没上学</s>
<time>565_00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,720</time>
<s>她就抱着小戴跑回家里去</s>
<time>566_00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:55,800</time>
<s>跑回娘家去</s>
<time>567_00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,680</time>
<s>从此就跟夫家断绝（关系）了</s>
<time>568_00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,560</time>
<s>她就自己一个人把孩子带大</s>
<time>569_00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,360</time>
<s>这个实在很苦</s>
<time>570_00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,160</time>
<s>她跟她母亲一样地苦</s>
<time>571_00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,760</time>
<s>她要出来外面社会打工</s>
<time>572_00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,560</time>
<s>找工作养大小戴</s>
<time>573_00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,080</time>
<s>小戴偏偏身体又很弱</s>
<time>574_00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,240</time>
<s>经常生病要找医生</s>
<time>575_00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,120</time>
<s>整个画面现在就转成黑白色了</s>
<time>576_00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,640</time>
<s>你就会看到像粤语片一样</s>
<time>577_00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:22,440</time>
<s>非常苦情的调</s>
<time>578_00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,960</time>
<s>母亲经常要去借钱</s>
<time>579_00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,920</time>
<s>甚至在小戴雨天发病的时候</s>
<time>580_00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,360</time>
<s>要背着小戴</s>
<time>581_00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,520</time>
<s>再套上雨衣去找医生</s>
<time>582_00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:33,960</time>
<s>你想想这个画面</s>
<time>583_00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,200</time>
<s>想想要是拍成电影都要嫌它狗血</s>
<time>584_00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,720</time>
<s>可是现实就是这样子</s>
<time>585_00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,760</time>
<s>这个戴妈妈一天要打三份工</s>
<time>586_00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,920</time>
<s>先送小戴上学</s>
<time>587_00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,880</time>
<s>然后她就去到那些办公楼</s>
<time>588_00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,040</time>
<s>就是在人们还没上班之前</s>
<time>589_00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,920</time>
<s>她就要把整座办公楼打扫干净</s>
<time>590_00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,720</time>
<s>然后她就又跑去</s>
<time>591_00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,320</time>
<s>另外一家旅行社上班当一个文员</s>
<time>592_00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,200</time>
<s>然后旅行社傍晚下班以后</s>
<time>593_00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,720</time>
<s>她又去人家家里当补习老师</s>
<time>594_00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,520</time>
<s>上门去一家一家地去</s>
<time>595_00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:13,200</time>
<s>等她完成工作以后回到家里已经是晚上了</s>
<time>596_00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:17,520</time>
<s>天黑了然后她就要督促孩子做功课</s>
<time>597_00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,680</time>
<s>就替小戴补习</s>
<time>598_00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,280</time>
<s>做完这些以后她要忙</s>
<time>599_00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,520</time>
<s>准备明天早上的早餐什么的</s>
<time>600_00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,040</time>
<s>做完这些东西她洗澡睡觉</s>
<time>601_00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:30,840</time>
<s>每天就只有几个小时</s>
<time>602_00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,720</time>
<s>就剩下三四个小时睡觉</s>
<time>603_00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,880</time>
<s>这样子过了一年又一年</s>
<time>604_00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:40,920</time>
<s>幸好小戴是一个非常非常优秀的孩子</s>
<time>605_00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,160</time>
<s>小戴长大以后中学毕业以后</s>
<time>606_00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:45,600</time>
<s>他就去跟他母亲说</s>
<time>607_00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,120</time>
<s>妈我要去日本读书半工读</s>
<time>608_00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,360</time>
<s>就是自己挣钱打工挣学费</s>
<time>609_00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,240</time>
<s>他妈听了就说我支持你</s>
<time>610_00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,120</time>
<s>她怎么支持呢其实家里一个钱都没有</s>
<time>611_00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,640</time>
<s>她就去找她的姐姐借钱了</s>
<time>612_00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,080</time>
<s>找姐夫借钱了</s>
<time>613_00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,680</time>
<s>然后就筹到了一笔第一个学期的学费</s>
<time>614_00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,280</time>
<s>还有一张单程飞去东京的机票</s>
<time>615_00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,160</time>
<s>就把小戴送上了飞机</s>
<time>616_00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:16,200</time>
<s>小戴一飞走了之后她母亲就连忙着孩子</s>
<time>617_00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,360</time>
<s>去找了另外一份工作</s>
<time>618_00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,320</time>
<s>加一份工作就是到餐馆里面洗碗盘的</s>
<time>619_00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,920</time>
<s>为的就是要赶快挣钱还人家</s>
<time>620_00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,080</time>
<s>后来就跳过去了</s>
<time>621_00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,960</time>
<s>小戴就成为一个成功人士</s>
<time>622_00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,840</time>
<s>而戴妈妈你就会想说</s>
<time>623_00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,720</time>
<s>她应该是享福了吧</s>
<time>624_00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,160</time>
<s>可是没有</s>
<time>625_00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,040</time>
<s>我见到小戴的母亲的时候她都快七十了</s>
<time>626_00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:42,120</time>
<s>她还在工作</s>
<time>627_00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,640</time>
<s>她还在给自己已经工作了</s>
<time>628_00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,800</time>
<s>几十年的老东家打工</s>
<time>629_00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:48,240</time>
<s>你想为什么呢</s>
<time>630_00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,840</time>
<s>因为她把她自己的一生的所有的价值</s>
<time>631_00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,440</time>
<s>都建立在有没有工作能不能挣钱这个事情上</s>
<time>632_00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,680</time>
<s>我跟她谈天的时候我本来想着说</s>
<time>633_00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,480</time>
<s>她跟我妈不一样</s>
<time>634_00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,720</time>
<s>她一直都在社会上打工</s>
<time>635_00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:08,400</time>
<s>她见到的怡保的旧时光应该比我母亲要多</s>
<time>636_00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,000</time>
<s>可是我真的见到她跟她交谈以后才发现</s>
<time>637_00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,080</time>
<s>常年以来</s>
<time>638_00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,240</time>
<s>她都是没有生活的</s>
<time>639_00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,120</time>
<s>在她的字典里面是没有“我”这个字</s>
<time>640_00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,800</time>
<s>所以她对怡保知道的了解的感受的</s>
<time>641_00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,960</time>
<s>甚至还不比我母亲</s>
<time>642_00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,600</time>
<s>就是这样子的两个女人</s>
<time>643_00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,760</time>
<s>就是两个你在街上碰到</s>
<time>644_00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,000</time>
<s>不觉得她们有什么特别的女人</s>
<time>645_00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,160</time>
<s>而事实上她们真的人生说起来</s>
<time>646_00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,320</time>
<s>也没有什么大不了</s>
<time>647_00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:49,440</time>
<s>很平凡没有干过什么伟大的了不起的事情</s>
<time>648_00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,680</time>
<s>可是自从我跟我母亲和解以后</s>
<time>649_00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:57,000</time>
<s>我觉得我能够用一种不一样的眼光去看待</s>
<time>650_00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,680</time>
<s>这些看起来微小的普通的女性了</s>
<time>651_00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,720</time>
<s>我如果把她们的人生故事适当地剪辑起来</s>
<time>652_00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,160</time>
<s>把那些部分</s>
<time>653_00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,400</time>
<s>翔实适当地组合起来</s>
<time>654_00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,920</time>
<s>你就看到这是完全不一样的人</s>
<time>655_00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,240</time>
<s>你在这些普通的女人身上看到的那个生命力</s>
<time>656_00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,560</time>
<s>你看到她们的那个可怕的力量</s>
<time>657_00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,360</time>
<s>其实常常是胜过男人的</s>
<time>658_00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,960</time>
<s>在面对困难在面对困境</s>
<time>659_00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,120</time>
<s>在面对人生给她的各种</s>
<time>660_00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,720</time>
<s>还有命运给她的各种考验的时候</s>
<time>661_00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,320</time>
<s>这些平凡不过的女性</s>
<time>662_00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,920</time>
<s>她们展现出来的那个光芒</s>
<time>663_00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,160</time>
<s>我觉得是很吓人的</s>
<time>664_00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,680</time>
<s>而我作为一个写小说的人</s>
<time>665_00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,840</time>
<s>我写老家怡保</s>
<time>666_00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,280</time>
<s>写到这些女性</s>
<time>667_00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:56,040</time>
<s>其实我并没有特地去美化她们</s>
<time>668_00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,360</time>
<s>我只是想很翔实地用我的笔</s>
<time>669_00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,240</time>
<s>用我心中的那把剪刀</s>
<time>670_00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,120</time>
<s>把她们的人生剪辑起来</s>
<time>671_00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,640</time>
<s>拼起来让读者看到</s>
<time>672_00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,880</time>
<s>这些平凡不过的女人的人生里头</s>
<time>673_00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,400</time>
<s>如果你懂得挑的话</s>
<time>674_00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,920</time>
<s>你就挑到她最精华的那些部分</s>
<time>675_00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,520</time>
<s>你就发现她完全是一个你意想不到的人</s>
<time>676_00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,760</time>
<s>她不是她外表看起来这样的一个</s>
<time>677_00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,720</time>
<s>无力的软弱的这样的一个女性</s>
<time>678_00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,960</time>
<s>至于我自己</s>
<time>679_00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:36,000</time>
<s>我觉得那天在新加坡的那家酒店里</s>
<time>680_00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,880</time>
<s>那一刻是很重要的</s>
<time>681_00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,040</time>
<s>是我人生中或者是我创作路上</s>
<time>682_00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,200</time>
<s>很重要的一个时刻</s>
<time>683_00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,360</time>
<s>我觉得那个时刻就是</s>
<time>684_00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,600</time>
<s>我用了大半生想要逃离</s>
<time>685_00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,120</time>
<s>要成为一个跟母亲相反的人</s>
<time>686_00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,000</time>
<s>可是就像绕了一个大圈以后</s>
<time>687_00:33:55,440 --> 00:34:00,840</time>
<s>我突然就在新加坡酒店的这张梳妆镜里面</s>
<time>688_00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,280</time>
<s>跟母亲相遇</s>
<time>689_00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:03,720</time>
<s>我们重叠</s>
<time>690_00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,400</time>
<s>我们看出了彼此之间的共性</s>
<time>691_00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,080</time>
<s>我并没有真的成为一个跟母亲相反的人</s>
<time>692_00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,680</time>
<s>因为在我说的这两个女人的故事的时候</s>
<time>693_00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,280</time>
<s>其实我知道我真正要跟大家说的</s>
<time>694_00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,440</time>
<s>是我自己的故事</s>
<time>695_00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,040</time>
<s>我从来没有成为这些女人以外的</s>
<time>696_00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,480</time>
<s>一个相反的女人</s>
<time>697_00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,640</time>
<s>以前我可能会很愤恨</s>
<time>698_00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,440</time>
<s>可是今天的我觉得</s>
<time>699_00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,600</time>
<s>是很光荣</s>
<time>700_00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,120</time>
<s>自己也是这些人当中的一个</s>
<time>701_00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,280</time>
<s>谢谢大家</s>
