My_DPS new_AJ0 neighbor_NN1 was_VBD from_PRP Algeria_NP0 ._SENT His_DPS name_NN1 was_VBD Yehya_NP0 ,_PUN and_CJC he_PNP was_VBD undergoing_VVG treatment_NN1 for_PRP lymphoma_NN1 ._SENT He_PNP had_VHD a_AT0 distended_AJ0 belly_NN1 ,_PUN lymph_NN1 nodes_NN2 like_PRP overripe_AJ0 plums_NN2 bulging_VVG from_PRP his_DPS neck_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC the_AT0 skinniest_AJS legs_NN2 I_PNP 'd_VHD ever_AV0 seen_VVN ._SENT We_PNP quickly_AV0 became_VVD pals_NN2 ,_PUN chatting_VVG away_AV0 in_PRP a_AT0 patois_NN1 of_PRF French_AJ0 and_CJC Arabic_AJ0 about_PRP our_DPS fatherlands_NN2 and_CJC faith_NN1 and_CJC how_AVQ lucky_AJ0 we_PNP were_VBD to_TO0 have_VHI gotten_VVN sick_AJ0 in_PRP America_NP0 ,_PUN where_AVQ we_PNP had_VHD access_NN1 to_PRP this_DT0 kind_NN1 of_PRF medical_AJ0 care_NN1 ._SENT It_PNP was_VBD Ramadan_NN1 and_CJC his_DPS wife_NN1 came_VVD to_PRP the_AT0 hospital_NN1 each_DT0 night_NN1 ,_PUN carrying_VVG a_AT0 giant_AJ0 Tupperware_NN1 filled_VVN with_PRP iftar_NN1 —_PUN the_AT0 meal_NN1 Muslims_NN2 eat_VVB at_PRP sundown_NN1 to_TO0 break_VVI fast_AV0 —_PUN but_CJC he_PNP rarely_AV0 took_VVD more_AV0 than_CJS a_AT0 bite_NN1 ._SENT 
One_CRD day_NN1 ,_PUN the_AT0 doctors_NN2 moved_VVD Yehya_NP0 to_PRP a_AT0 private_AJ0 room_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 few_DT0 doors_NN2 down_AVP ,_PUN with_PRP a_AT0 window_NN1 overlooking_VVG Central_AJ0 Park_NN1 ._SENT He_PNP wept_VVD with_PRP gratitude_NN1 and_CJC dropped_VVD to_PRP his_DPS knees_NN2 to_TO0 pray_VVI ,_PUN but_CJC accidentally_AV0 fell_VVD and_CJC hit_VVD his_DPS head_NN1 on_PRP the_AT0 linoleum_NN1 floor_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ What_DTQ happened_VVD ?_SENT "_PUQ the_AT0 nurses_NN2 shouted_VVD when_CJS they_PNP heard_VVD the_AT0 crash_NN1 ,_PUN rushing_VVG in_AVP and_CJC ordering_VVG a_AT0 CT_NN1 scan_NN1 of_PRF his_DPS brain_NN1 ._SENT Later_AV0 ,_PUN Yehya_NP0 confessed_VVD to_PRP me_PNP that_CJT he_PNP had_VHD lied_VVN to_PRP the_AT0 nurses_NN2 and_CJC told_VVD them_PNP he_PNP tripped_VVD ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 want_VVI to_TO0 seem_VVI like_PRP some_DT0 kind_NN1 of_PRF Muslim_AJ0 nut_NN1 ,_PUN "_PUQ he_PNP told_VVD me_PNP ._SENT Illness_NN1 complicated_AJ0 everything_PNI ,_PUN even_AV0 —_PUN maybe_AV0 ,_PUN especially_AV0 —_PUN prayer_NN1 ._SENT 
*_PUN *_PUN *_PUN 
It_PNP had_VHD been_VBN roughly_AV0 a_AT0 week_NN1 since_CJS I_PNP 'd_VHD entered_VVN the_AT0 hospital_NN1 and_CJC started_VVD chemotherapy_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP was_VBD feeling_VVG relatively_AV0 fine_AJ0 ,_PUN even_AV0 spritely_AV0 in_PRP comparison_NN1 with_PRP the_AT0 other_AJ0 patients_NN2 on_PRP my_DPS floor_NN1 ,_PUN many_DT0 of_PRF whom_PNQ were_VBD bedridden_AJ0 or_CJC needed_VVD wheelchairs_NN2 to_TO0 get_VVI around_AVP ._SENT While_CJS it_PNP would_VM0 be_VBI a_AT0 stretch_NN1 to_TO0 say_VVI I_PNP was_VBD enjoying_VVG my_DPS hospital_NN1 stay_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP was_VBD n't_XX0 miserable_AJ0 ,_PUN either_AV0 ._SENT When_CJS I_PNP was_VBD n't_XX0 hanging_VVG out_AVP with_PRP the_AT0 other_AJ0 inhabitants_NN2 of_PRF the_AT0 ward_NN1 ,_PUN Will_NP0 and_CJC I_PNP played_VVD countless_AJ0 games_NN2 of_PRF Scrabble_NN1 ._SENT My_DPS parents_NN2 visited_VVD me_PNP every_AT0 day_NN1 ,_PUN spoiling_VVG me_PNP with_PRP little_AJ0 gifts_NN2 and_CJC home-cooked_AJ0 dishes_NN2 ._SENT And_CJC as_CJS word_NN1 of_PRF my_DPS diagnosis_NN1 got_VVD out_AVP ,_PUN friends_NN2 trickled_VVD in_PRP as_CJS well_AV0 ,_PUN bearing_VVG bouquets_NN2 of_PRF flowers_NN2 ._SENT I_PNP felt_VVD suspended_VVN —_PUN for_PRP the_AT0 first_ORD time_NN1 in_PRP my_DPS life_NN1 ,_PUN no_AT0 one_PNI expected_VVN anything_PNI of_PRF me_PNP ._SENT I_PNP had_VHD the_AT0 liberty_NN1 to_TO0 pass_VVI the_AT0 time_NN1 as_CJS I_PNP wanted_VVD ._SENT I_PNP wrote_VVD in_PRP my_DPS journal_NN1 and_CJC signed_VVD up_AVP for_PRP an_AT0 arts_NN2 and_CJC crafts_NN2 class_NN1 ._SENT A_AT0 hospital_NN1 volunteer_NN1 was_VBD teaching_VVG me_PNP how_AVQ to_TO0 knit_VVI and_CJC I_PNP was_VBD making_VVG a_AT0 scarf_NN1 that_CJT I_PNP planned_VVD to_TO0 give_VVI to_PRP Will_NP0 ._SENT 
Naïvely_AV0 ,_PUN maybe_AV0 even_AV0 a_AT0 little_AV0 arrogantly_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP began_VVD to_TO0 think_VVI I_PNP 'd_VHD been_VBN spared_VVN the_AT0 more_AV0 treacherous_AJ0 side_NN1 effects_NN2 of_PRF the_AT0 chemo_NN1 ._SENT Other_AJ0 than_CJS the_AT0 usual_AJ0 fatigue_NN1 and_CJC the_AT0 mouth_NN1 sores_NN2 ,_PUN I_PNP felt_VVD no_AV0 different_AJ0 ._SENT Each_DT0 morning_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP examined_VVD my_DPS scalp_NN1 in_PRP the_AT0 mirror_NN1 for_PRP signs_NN2 that_CJT my_DPS hair_NN1 was_VBD beginning_VVG to_TO0 fall_VVI out_AVP ,_PUN but_CJC it_PNP was_VBD thick_AJ0 and_CJC shiny_AJ0 ,_PUN firmly_AV0 rooted_VVN in_PRP its_DPS follicles_NN2 ._SENT I_PNP thought_VVD I_PNP might_VM0 be_VBI among_PRP the_AT0 tiny_AJ0 percentage_NN1 of_PRF patients_NN2 who_PNQ do_VDB n't_XX0 lose_VVI their_DPS hair_NN1 during_PRP chemo_NN1 and_CJC I_PNP regretted_VVD what_DTQ now_AV0 seemed_VVD like_PRP a_AT0 hasty_AJ0 decision_NN1 to_TO0 chop_VVI it_PNP short_AJ0 ._SENT I_PNP even_AV0 began_VVD to_TO0 entertain_VVI the_AT0 fantasy_NN1 of_PRF moving_VVG into_PRP an_AT0 apartment_NN1 with_PRP Will_NP0 once_CJS I_PNP was_VBD discharged_VVN ._SENT Maybe_AV0 ,_PUN come_VVB end_NN1 of_PRF summer_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP might_VM0 be_VBI well_AV0 enough_AV0 to_TO0 start_VVI working_VVG again_AV0 ._SENT 
Naïveté_NN1 has_VHZ a_AT0 shelf_NN1 life_NN1 ,_PUN however_AV0 ,_PUN and_CJC mine_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 last_VVI long_AV0 ._SENT 
About_PRP ten_CRD days_NN2 in_PRP ,_PUN I_PNP was_VBD moved_VVN into_PRP a_AT0 private_AJ0 room_NN1 —_PUN "_PUQ isolation_NN1 "_PUQ the_AT0 doctors_NN2 called_VVD it_PNP —_PUN and_CJC forbidden_VVN from_PRP stepping_VVG outside_AV0 under_PRP any_DT0 circumstances_NN2 ._SENT I_PNP had_VHD n't_XX0 known_VVN this_DT0 was_VBD coming_VVG ._SENT I_PNP was_VBD shocked_AJ0 and_CJC a_AT0 little_AV0 pissed_AJ0 at_PRP the_AT0 strict_AJ0 rules_NN2 that_CJT accompanied_VVD my_DPS new_AJ0 digs_NN2 but_CJC also_AV0 relieved_AJ0 not_XX0 to_TO0 have_VHI a_AT0 roommate_NN1 ._SENT Anyone_PNI who_PNQ entered_VVD my_DPS room_NN1 ,_PUN which_DTQ I_PNP dubbed_VVD "_PUQ the_AT0 Bubble_NN1 ,_PUN "_PUQ had_VHD to_TO0 wear_VVI the_AT0 mandatory_AJ0 protective_AJ0 armor_NN1 —_PUN face_NN1 mask_NN1 ,_PUN gloves_NN2 ,_PUN surgical_AJ0 gown_NN1 ._SENT My_DPS blood_NN1 counts_NN2 were_VBD being_VBG decimated_VVN by_PRP the_AT0 chemo_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS hemoglobin_NN1 and_CJC platelets_NN2 plummeting_VVG to_PRP dangerously_AV0 low_AJ0 levels_NN2 ._SENT Test_NN1 results_NN2 showed_VVD that_CJT I_PNP possessed_VVD nearly_AV0 no_AT0 white_AJ0 blood_NN1 cells_NN2 —_PUN zero_CRD the_AT0 doctor_NN1 on_PRP call_NN1 said_VVD ,_PUN cupping_VVG his_DPS hands_NN2 into_PRP an_AT0 O_ZZ0 for_PRP emphasis_NN1 ._SENT Soon_AV0 I_PNP would_VM0 be_VBI done_VDN with_PRP the_AT0 chemo_NN1 infusions_NN2 ,_PUN and_CJC over_PRP the_AT0 next_ORD week_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS marrow_NN1 ,_PUN hopefully_AV0 now_AV0 rid_VVN of_PRF leukemia_NN1 ,_PUN would_VM0 start_VVI to_TO0 recover_VVI and_CJC my_DPS blood_NN1 cells_NN2 would_VM0 slowly_AV0 build_VVI back_AVP up_AVP ._SENT Once_AV0 I_PNP no_AV0 longer_AV0 needed_VVN transfusions_NN2 to_TO0 maintain_VVI my_DPS red_AJ0 blood_NN1 cell_NN1 and_CJC platelet_NN1 counts_NN2 ,_PUN I_PNP would_VM0 be_VBI discharged_VVN from_PRP the_AT0 hospital_NN1 and_CJC allowed_VVD to_TO0 return_VVI home_AV0 ._SENT But_CJC until_CJS then_AV0 ,_PUN my_DPS immune_AJ0 system_NN1 was_VBD nonexistent_AJ0 and_CJC the_AT0 doctor_NN1 warned_VVD that_CJT a_AT0 stray_AJ0 germ_NN1 or_CJC sneeze_NN1 could_VM0 do_VDI me_PNP in_PRP ._SENT 
Around_PRP the_AT0 same_DT0 time_NN1 ,_PUN the_AT0 side_NN1 effects_NN2 of_PRF the_AT0 chemo_NN1 began_VVD to_TO0 make_VVI themselves_PNX known_VVN ._SENT The_AT0 lining_NN1 of_PRF my_DPS throat_NN1 began_VVD sloughing_VVG off_AVP ,_PUN an_AT0 excruciating_AJ0 side_NN1 effect_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 chemo_NN1 called_VVN mucositis_NN1 ,_PUN which_DTQ made_VVD it_PNP impossible_AJ0 to_TO0 eat_VVI or_CJC drink_VVI or_CJC talk_VVI at_PRP anything_PNI louder_AJC than_CJS a_AT0 whisper_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ Are_VBB you_PNP ready_AJ0 to_PRP party_NN1 ?_SENT "_PUQ Younique_NP0 joked_VVD the_AT0 first_ORD time_NN1 she_PNP hooked_VVD me_PNP up_AVP to_PRP an_AT0 intravenous_AJ0 morphine_NN1 drip_NN1 ._SENT Blessed_VVN be_VBI the_AT0 excellent_AJ0 nurses_NN2 with_PRP excellent_AJ0 senses_NN2 of_PRF humor_NN1 :_PUN They_PNP make_VVB everything_PNI better_AJC ._SENT But_CJC even_AV0 with_PRP the_AT0 morphine_NN1 ,_PUN the_AT0 pain_NN1 was_VBD too_AV0 intense_AJ0 to_TO0 swallow_VVI much_DT0 of_PRF anything_PNI ._SENT In_PRP addition_NN1 to_PRP the_AT0 needle_NN1 marks_NN2 and_CJC bruises_NN2 that_CJT now_AV0 covered_VVD my_DPS arms_NN2 ,_PUN a_AT0 spray_NN1 of_PRF tiny_AJ0 purple_AJ0 dots_NN2 the_AT0 size_NN1 of_PRF pinpricks_NN2 appeared_VVD all_AV0 over_PRP my_DPS chest_NN1 and_CJC neck_NN1 ._SENT Without_PRP platelets_NN2 ,_PUN the_AT0 component_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 blood_NN1 that_CJT helps_VVZ the_AT0 body_NN1 form_NN1 clots_NN2 ,_PUN the_AT0 capillaries_NN2 closest_AV0 to_PRP my_DPS skin_NN1 had_VHD broken_VVN open_AJ0 ,_PUN leaking_AJ0 blood_NN1 to_PRP the_AT0 surface_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP avoided_VVD looking_VVG at_PRP myself_PNX in_PRP the_AT0 mirror_NN1 ._SENT 
And_CJC then_AV0 it_PNP finally_AV0 happened_VVD :_PUN One_CRD morning_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP woke_VVD up_AVP and_CJC discovered_VVD a_AT0 mess_NN1 of_PRF stray_AJ0 hairs_NN2 on_PRP my_DPS pillow_NN1 ._SENT By_PRP lunchtime_NN1 ,_PUN it_PNP was_VBD falling_VVG out_AVP in_PRP clumps_NN2 ,_PUN leaving_VVG pale_AJ0 patches_NN2 all_DT0 over_PRP my_DPS scalp_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP ran_VVD my_DPS fingers_NN2 compulsively_AV0 over_PRP my_DPS skull_NN1 ,_PUN placing_VVG handfuls_NN2 of_PRF my_DPS hair_NN1 into_PRP little_DT0 nest-like_AJ0 piles_NN2 on_PRP the_AT0 bedside_NN1 table_NN1 ._SENT Losing_VVG my_DPS hair_NN1 was_VBD confirmation_NN1 of_PRF what_DTQ I_PNP knew_VVD but_CJC had_VHD n't_XX0 been_VBN able_AJ0 to_TO0 fully_AV0 accept_VVI yet_AV0 and_CJC I_PNP spent_VVD the_AT0 rest_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 afternoon_NN1 fighting_VVG back_AVP tears_NN2 ._SENT That_DT0 evening_NN1 ,_PUN Will_NP0 helped_VVD me_PNP tug_VVI the_AT0 rest_NN1 out_AVP with_PRP his_DPS hands_NN2 ;_PUN it_PNP was_VBD like_PRP pulling_VVG weeds_NN2 from_PRP damp_AJ0 soil_NN1 ._SENT By_PRP bedtime_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP was_VBD completely_AV0 bald_AJ0 ._SENT 
*_PUN *_PUN *_PUN 
It_PNP had_VHD been_VBN more_AV0 than_CJS four_CRD weeks_NN2 since_CJS I_PNP 'd_VHD entered_VVN the_AT0 hospital_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC I_PNP was_VBD waiting_VVG for_PRP my_DPS blood_NN1 counts_VVZ to_TO0 recover_VVI from_PRP the_AT0 chemo_NN1 ,_PUN but_CJC to_PRP my_DPS dismay_NN1 they_PNP were_VBD showing_VVG no_AT0 improvement_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 doctors_NN2 reassured_VVD me_PNP that_CJT there_EX0 was_VBD no_AT0 need_NN1 to_TO0 worry_VVI —_PUN at_PRP least_AV0 ,_PUN not_XX0 yet_AV0 —_PUN but_CJC of_PRF course_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP did_VDD anyway_AV0 ._SENT In_PRP the_AT0 meantime_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS body_NN1 had_VHD become_VVN entirely_AV0 reliant_AJ0 on_PRP transfusions_NN2 ._SENT The_AT0 blood_NN1 of_PRF strangers_NN2 coursed_VVN through_PRP my_DPS veins_NN2 ,_PUN bag_NN1 after_PRP bag_NN1 ,_PUN day_NN1 after_PRP day_NN1 ._SENT Sometimes_AV0 I_PNP tried_VVD to_TO0 imagine_VVI who_PNQ these_DT0 donors_NN2 were_VBD —_PUN a_AT0 schoolteacher_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 famous_AJ0 actor_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 tarot_NN1 card_NN1 reader_NN1 ?_SENT I_PNP could_VM0 n't_XX0 quite_AV0 conjure_VVI them_PNP ,_PUN but_CJC they_PNP were_VBD keeping_VVG me_PNP alive_AJ0 ._SENT 
Being_VBG poked_VVN and_CJC palpated_VVN and_CJC locked_VVN in_PRP a_AT0 room_NN1 for_PRP days_NN2 on_PRP end_NN1 without_PRP a_AT0 release_NN1 date_NN1 was_VBD maddening_AJ0 ._SENT The_AT0 windows_NN2 did_VDD n't_XX0 open_VVI ._SENT The_AT0 fluorescent_AJ0 bulbs_NN2 scalded_VVD my_DPS eyes_NN2 ._SENT My_DPS stomach_NN1 hurt_VVD ,_PUN my_DPS head_NN1 hurt_VVD ,_PUN my_DPS limbs_NN2 hurt_VVN ,_PUN everything_PNI hurt_VVD ,_PUN even_AV0 breathing_VVG ._SENT Each_DT0 time_NN1 I_PNP was_VBD stabbed_VVN with_PRP a_AT0 needle_NN1 or_CJC given_VVN a_AT0 sponge_NN1 bath_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP wanted_VVD to_TO0 hurl_VVI my_DPS IV_CRD pole_NN1 at_PRP the_AT0 wall_NN1 ._SENT When_CJS I_PNP lost_VVD enough_DT0 weight_NN1 that_CJT I_PNP could_VM0 slip_VVI off_AVP my_DPS electronic_AJ0 hospital_NN1 bracelet_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP began_VVD to_TO0 fantasize_VVI about_AVP escaping_VVG ._SENT Central_AJ0 Park_NN1 taunted_VVD me_PNP from_PRP my_DPS window_NN1 ._SENT During_PRP a_AT0 rainstorm_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP felt_VVD a_AT0 visceral_AJ0 longing_NN1 to_TO0 go_VVI outside_AV0 and_CJC stand_VVB in_PRP the_AT0 downpour_NN1 —_PUN even_AV0 if_CJS just_AV0 for_PRP a_AT0 minute_NN1 ._SENT Finally_AV0 ,_PUN on_PRP a_AT0 day_NN1 when_CJS my_DPS pain_NN1 had_VHD fleetingly_AV0 retreated_VVN to_PRP a_AT0 tolerable_AJ0 level_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP hid_VVD my_DPS electronic_AJ0 bracelet_NN1 under_PRP my_DPS pillow_NN1 and_CJC when_CJS the_AT0 nurses_NN2 were_VBD n't_XX0 looking_VVG ,_PUN I_PNP ducked_VVD into_PRP the_AT0 hallway_NN1 and_CJC slipped_VVD into_PRP the_AT0 elevator_NN1 with_PRP my_DPS IV_AJ0 pole_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP made_VVD it_PNP as_CJS far_AV0 as_CJS the_AT0 cafeteria_NN1 on_PRP the_AT0 ground_NN1 floor_NN1 ._SENT Then_AV0 I_PNP froze_VVD ._SENT It_PNP was_VBD lunchtime_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC people_NN0 swarmed_VVD around_PRP me_PNP ,_PUN brushing_VVG and_CJC bumping_VVG me_PNP ._SENT My_DPS anxiety_NN1 mounted_VVD as_CJS I_PNP thought_VVD of_PRF all_DT0 the_AT0 germs_NN2 in_PRP the_AT0 air_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP was_VBD having_VHG trouble_NN1 breathing_VVG ._SENT What_DTQ if_CJS I_PNP fell_VVD ?_SENT What_DTQ if_CJS I_PNP fainted_VVD ?_SENT A_AT0 few_DT0 minutes_NN2 later_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP was_VBD back_AVP in_PRP my_DPS room_NN1 ._SENT Beep_NN1 ,_PUN beep_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS IV_CRD chirped_VVD ._SENT Strangely_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP felt_VVD safe_AJ0 again_AV0 ._SENT 
If_CJS anyone_PNI could_VM0 understand_VVI what_DTQ I_PNP was_VBD living_VVG ,_PUN it_PNP was_VBD the_AT0 other_AJ0 patients_NN2 ,_PUN but_CJC I_PNP was_VBD n't_XX0 allowed_VVN to_TO0 interact_VVI with_PRP them_PNP anymore_AV0 ,_PUN as_CJS the_AT0 germ_NN1 risk_NN1 was_VBD too_AV0 high_AJ0 ._SENT I_PNP missed_VVD their_DPS camaraderie_NN1 and_CJC I_PNP tried_VVD to_TO0 keep_VVI tabs_NN2 on_PRP their_DPS progress_NN1 through_PRP games_NN2 of_PRF telephone_NN1 facilitated_VVN by_PRP the_AT0 nurses_NN2 ._SENT Estelle_NP0 had_VHD been_VBN discharged_VVN ,_PUN and_CJC she_PNP was_VBD recuperating_VVG back_AVP home_AV0 in_PRP Staten_NP0 Island_NP0 ._SENT Dennis_NP0 's_POS latest_AJS scans_NN2 had_VHD lit_VVN up_AVP like_PRP the_AT0 Milky_AJ0 Way_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 constellation_NN1 of_PRF new_AJ0 tumors_NN2 in_PRP his_DPS lungs_NN2 ._SENT He_PNP ,_PUN too_AV0 ,_PUN would_VM0 eventually_AV0 need_VVI a_AT0 bone_NN1 marrow_NN1 transplant_NN1 ._SENT As_CJS for_PRP Yehya_NP0 ,_PUN he_PNP still_AV0 walked_VVD by_PRP my_DPS room_NN1 in_PRP the_AT0 afternoons_NN2 and_CJC ,_PUN if_CJS no_AT0 one_PNI was_VBD looking_VVG ,_PUN he_PNP 'd_VM0 crack_VVI open_AJ0 the_AT0 door_NN1 ,_PUN flash_VVB me_PNP a_AT0 thumbs-up_NN2 ,_PUN and_CJC tell_VVB me_PNP Allah_NP0 had_VHD my_DPS back_NN1 ._SENT 
I_PNP was_VBD still_AV0 allowed_VVN visitors_NN2 from_PRP the_AT0 outside_AJ0 ,_PUN but_CJC even_AV0 that_DT0 had_VHD become_VVN complicated_AJ0 ._SENT The_AT0 people_NN0 I_PNP 'd_VHD played_VVN beer_NN1 pong_NN1 with_PRP in_PRP college_NN1 had_VHD not_XX0 reached_VVN out_AVP ,_PUN and_CJC even_AV0 though_CJS I_PNP was_VBD not_XX0 surprised_AJ0 ,_PUN I_PNP felt_VVD wounded_AJ0 by_PRP their_DPS silence_NN1 ._SENT Instead_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP tried_VVD to_TO0 focus_VVI on_PRP those_DT0 who_PNQ did_VDD show_VVI up_AVP —_PUN my_DPS friend_NN1 Mara_NP0 ,_PUN who_PNQ came_VVD to_TO0 see_VVI me_PNP nearly_AV0 every_AT0 day_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC a_AT0 cohort_NN1 of_PRF old_AJ0 childhood_NN1 pals_NN2 ,_PUN classmates_NN2 ,_PUN and_CJC colleagues_NN2 ,_PUN who_PNQ stopped_VVD by_AVP with_PRP gifts_NN2 ._SENT In_PRP the_AT0 days_NN2 after_PRP my_DPS diagnosis_NN1 I_PNP 'd_VHD welcomed_VVN their_DPS company_NN1 ,_PUN even_AV0 craved_VVD it_PNP ._SENT But_CJC over_PRP time_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP grew_VVD allergic_AJ0 to_PRP the_AT0 looks_NN2 of_PRF pity_NN1 and_CJC the_AT0 positivity_NN1 pushers_NN2 who_PNQ tried_VVD to_TO0 cheer_VVI me_PNP up_AVP with_PRP their_DPS get-well_AJ0 cards_NN2 and_CJC their_DPS exhausting_AJ0 refrains_NN2 of_PRF "_PUQ stay_VVB strong_AJ0 "_PUQ and_CJC "_PUQ keep_VVB fighting_VVG ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP began_VVD to_TO0 feel_VVI angry_AJ0 at_PRP people_NN0 's_POS trivial_AJ0 complaints_NN2 about_PRP a_AT0 stressful_AJ0 day_NN1 at_PRP the_AT0 office_NN1 or_CJC a_AT0 broken_AJ0 toe_NN1 that_CJT meant_VVD they_PNP could_VM0 n't_XX0 go_VVI to_PRP the_AT0 gym_NN1 for_PRP a_AT0 couple_NN1 of_PRF weeks_NN2 ,_PUN and_CJC it_PNP was_VBD hard_AJ0 not_XX0 to_TO0 feel_VVI left_VVN out_AVP when_CJS my_DPS friends_NN2 told_VVD me_PNP about_PRP a_AT0 concert_NN1 or_CJC a_AT0 party_NN1 they_PNP 'd_VHD been_VBN to_PRP together_AV0 ._SENT 
Worse_AV0 were_VBD the_AT0 disaster_NN1 tourists_NN2 :_PUN those_DT0 whom_PNQ I_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 know_VVI well_AV0 but_CJC who_PNQ came_VVD out_AVP of_PRF the_AT0 woodwork_NN1 ,_PUN showing_VVG up_AVP unannounced_AJ0 at_PRP my_DPS hospital_NN1 room_NN1 door_NN1 with_PRP an_AT0 overzealous_AJ0 desire_NN1 to_TO0 help_VVI or_CJC to_TO0 bear_VVI witness_NN1 to_PRP the_AT0 medical_AJ0 carnival_NN1 that_CJT my_DPS life_NN1 had_VHD become_VVN ._SENT They_PNP would_VM0 gape_VVI at_PRP my_DPS bald_AJ0 head_NN1 ,_PUN all_DT0 misty-eyed_AJ0 ,_PUN and_CJC I_PNP 'd_VM0 find_VVI myself_PNX having_VHG to_TO0 console_VVI them_PNP ._SENT Or_CJC they_PNP 'd_VM0 bombard_VVI me_PNP with_PRP unsolicited_AJ0 medical_AJ0 advice_NN1 ,_PUN telling_VVG me_PNP about_PRP a_AT0 great_AJ0 doctor_NN1 they_PNP knew_VVD or_CJC a_AT0 friend_NN1 of_PRF a_AT0 friend_NN1 who_PNQ 'd_VHD cured_VVN their_DPS own_DT0 cancer_NN1 with_PRP things_NN2 like_PRP essential_AJ0 oils_NN2 ,_PUN apricot_AJ0 kernels_NN2 ,_PUN coffee_NN1 enemas_NN2 ,_PUN or_CJC a_AT0 juice_NN1 cleanse_VVI ._SENT I_PNP knew_VVD that_CJT most_AV0 meant_VVD well_AV0 and_CJC were_VBD doing_VDG the_AT0 best_AJS they_PNP knew_VVD how_AVQ ,_PUN so_CJS I_PNP smiled_VVD and_CJC nodded_VVD ,_PUN but_CJC I_PNP was_VBD silently_AV0 fuming_VVG ._SENT As_CJS I_PNP got_VVD sicker_AJC ,_PUN fewer_DT0 and_CJC fewer_DT0 came_VVD —_PUN and_CJC when_CJS they_PNP did_VDD ,_PUN I_PNP began_VVD pretending_VVG to_TO0 be_VBI asleep_AJ0 ._SENT 
I_PNP was_VBD n't_XX0 entirely_AV0 alone_AV0 ,_PUN despite_PRP my_DPS attempts_NN2 to_TO0 retreat_VVI from_PRP the_AT0 world_NN1 ._SENT Dr._NP0 Holland_NP0 came_VVD to_TO0 visit_VVI me_PNP nearly_AV0 every_AT0 day_NN1 during_PRP his_DPS lunch_NN1 break_NN1 ._SENT He_PNP was_VBD gracious_AJ0 toward_PRP the_AT0 nurses_NN2 and_CJC the_AT0 hospital_NN1 staffers_NN2 ._SENT Unlike_PRP some_DT0 of_PRF the_AT0 other_AJ0 attendings_NN2 ,_PUN who_PNQ could_VM0 be_VBI brusque_AJ0 and_CJC condescending_AJ0 ,_PUN his_DPS bedside_NN1 manner_NN1 was_VBD unhurried_AJ0 and_CJC he_PNP always_AV0 treated_VVD me_PNP with_PRP dignity_NN1 ,_PUN careful_AJ0 to_TO0 make_VVI me_PNP feel_VVI like_PRP a_AT0 person_NN1 first_ORD and_CJC a_AT0 patient_NN1 second_NN1 ._SENT After_CJS he_PNP was_VBD done_VDN examining_VVG me_PNP ,_PUN he_PNP would_VM0 sit_VVI in_PRP the_AT0 recliner_NN1 next_ORD to_PRP my_DPS bed_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC we_PNP 'd_VM0 chat_VVI about_PRP everything_PNI from_PRP politics_NN1 to_PRP art_NN1 history_NN1 and_CJC our_DPS favorite_AJ0 books_NN2 ._SENT 
Will_NP0 ,_PUN who_PNQ was_VBD still_AV0 unemployed_AJ0 ,_PUN virtually_AV0 lived_VVD in_PRP my_DPS hospital_NN1 room_NN1 ,_PUN sleeping_VVG next_ORD to_PRP me_PNP every_AT0 night_NN1 on_PRP a_AT0 too-short_AJ0 visitor_NN1 's_POS cot_NN1 ._SENT My_DPS parents_NN2 took_VVD the_AT0 day_NN1 shift_NN1 ,_PUN taking_VVG turns_NN2 sitting_VVG by_PRP my_DPS bed_NN1 and_CJC plying_VVG me_PNP with_PRP all_DT0 of_PRF my_DPS favorite_AJ0 snacks_NN2 in_PRP an_AT0 attempt_NN1 to_TO0 get_VVI me_PNP to_TO0 eat_VVI ._SENT Since_CJS entering_VVG the_AT0 hospital_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP had_VHD shrunk_VVN from_PRP a_AT0 healthy_AJ0 size_NN1 six_CRD to_PRP a_AT0 double_AJ0 zero_NN1 —_PUN the_AT0 same_DT0 size_NN1 I_PNP 'd_VHD been_VBN in_PRP the_AT0 sixth_ORD grade_NN1 —_PUN but_CJC I_PNP was_VBD often_AV0 in_PRP too_AV0 much_DT0 pain_NN1 to_TO0 swallow_VVI ,_PUN let_VVB alone_AV0 choke_VVB down_AVP a_AT0 forkful_NN1 of_PRF mushroom_NN1 risotto_NN1 ._SENT 
