Chapter_NN1 Two_CRD 
The_AT0 Soul_NN1 Clapping_VVG Its_DPS Hands_NN2 
The_AT0 Blessed_AJ0 Virgin_NN1 Mary_NP0 nuns_NN2 at_PRP Saint_NP0 Brendan_NP0 's_POS grammar_NN1 school_NN1 had_VHD us_PNP all_DT0 memorize_VVB this_DT0 little_AJ0 ditty_NN1 :_PUN "_PUQ Good_AJ0 ,_PUN better_AV0 ,_PUN best_AV0 ..._PUN never_AV0 let_VVB it_PNP rest_VVI ..._PUN until_CJS the_AT0 good_NN1 is_VBZ better_AJC and_CJC the_AT0 better_AJC ..._PUN BEST_AV0 ._SENT "_PUQ They_PNP meant_VVD well_AV0 ._SENT The_AT0 mystical_AJ0 view_NN1 sees_VVZ what_DTQ 's_VBZ lopsided_AJ0 here_AV0 :_PUN the_AT0 starting_NN1 point_NN1 is_VBZ really_AV0 not_XX0 "_PUQ good_AJ0 ,_PUN "_PUQ but_CJC "_PUQ bad_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ We_PNP were_VBD all_AV0 thrown_VVN out_AVP of_PRF the_AT0 garden_NN1 because_CJS we_PNP were_VBD bad_AJ0 ,_PUN so_AV0 now_AV0 we_PNP are_VBB desperately_AV0 trying_VVG to_TO0 become_VVI good_AJ0 enough_AV0 to_TO0 get_VVI back_AVP in_PRP ._SENT It_PNP 's_VBZ really_AV0 about_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP suppose_VVB ,_PUN original_AJ0 sin_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC the_AT0 progression_NN1 is_VBZ from_PRP BAD_AJ0 to_PRP good_AJ0 to_PRP better_AV0 to_PRP best_AV0 to_PRP holiness_NN1 and_CJC sainthood_NN1 ._SENT Bad_AJ0 is_VBZ where_AVQ we_PNP always_AV0 seem_VVB to_TO0 begin_VVI ._SENT 
When_CJS homies_NN2 say_VVB they_PNP are_VBB trying_VVG to_TO0 be_VBI "_PUQ better_AJC people_NN0 ,_PUN "_PUQ I_PNP tell_VVB them_PNP that_CJT they_PNP "_PUQ could_VM0 not_XX0 be_VBI even_AV0 one_CRD bit_NN1 better_AJC ._SENT "_PUQ A_AT0 homie_NN1 texted_VVD me_PNP recently_AV0 ,_PUN just_AV0 this_DT0 :_PUN "_PUQ Pops_NP0 ..._PUN what_DTQ can_VM0 I_PNP do_VDI to_TO0 be_VBI a_AT0 better_AJC man_NN1 ?_SENT "_PUQ It_PNP felt_VVD more_AV0 heartbreaking_AJ0 to_PRP me_PNP than_CJS some_DT0 aspirational_AJ0 expression_NN1 ._SENT We_PNP never_AV0 say_VVB to_PRP the_AT0 homies_NN2 ,_PUN "_PUQ We_PNP believe_VVB you_PNP can_VM0 change_VVI ,_PUN "_PUQ but_CJC rather_AV0 ,_PUN "_PUQ We_PNP know_VVB you_PNP can_VM0 heal_VVI ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP saw_VVD a_AT0 sign_NN1 in_PRP a_AT0 store_NN1 behind_PRP the_AT0 counter_NN1 ,_PUN meant_VVD to_TO0 pump_VVI up_AVP their_DPS workers_NN2 :_PUN "_PUQ My_DPS goal_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX0 to_TO0 be_VBI better_AJC than_CJS anyone_PNI else_AV0 ,_PUN but_CJC be_VBI better_AJC than_CJS I_PNP used_VVD to_TO0 be_VBI ._SENT "_PUQ Jesus_NP0 uses_VVZ the_AT0 word_NN1 "_PUQ hypocrite_NN1 "_PUQ and_CJC its_DPS original_AJ0 meaning_NN1 is_VBZ "_PUQ performer_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ Which_DTQ is_VBZ to_TO0 say_VVI ,_PUN goodness_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX0 about_PRP a_AT0 measurable_AJ0 performance_NN1 ,_PUN about_PRP being_VBG better_AJC than_CJS we_PNP were_VBD yesterday_AV0 ._SENT Jesus_NP0 uses_VVZ this_DT0 term_NN1 when_CJS folks_NN2 make_VVB a_AT0 big_AJ0 show_NN1 of_PRF things_NN2 ,_PUN which_DTQ is_VBZ why_AVQ he_PNP says_VVZ we_PNP should_VM0 fast_AV0 and_CJC pray_VVB and_CJC give_VVB alms_NN2 in_PRP private_AJ0 ;_PUN do_VDB n't_XX0 perform_VVI ._SENT It_PNP has_VHZ been_VBN ingrained_VVN in_PRP us_PNP ,_PUN however_AV0 ,_PUN that_CJT our_DPS "_PUQ performance_NN1 "_PUQ needs_VVZ to_TO0 move_VVI always_AV0 from_PRP good_AJ0 to_PRP better_AJC ,_PUN finally_AV0 ,_PUN to_TO0 achieve_VVI best_AV0 ._SENT In_PRP the_AT0 mystical_AJ0 view_NN1 ,_PUN goodness_NN1 is_VBZ our_DPS starting_NN1 point_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC realizing_VVG it_PNP ,_PUN not_XX0 becoming_VVG it_PNP ,_PUN is_VBZ the_AT0 task_NN1 ._SENT 
In_PRP prison_NN1 ,_PUN folks_NN2 panic_NN1 about_PRP appearing_VVG before_PRP the_AT0 parole_NN1 board_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP suspect_VVB at_PRP Homeboy_NP0 we_PNP write_VVB many_DT0 thousands_CRD of_PRF letters_NN2 each_DT0 year_NN1 assuring_VVG the_AT0 boards_NN2 that_CJT a_AT0 homie_NN1 has_VHZ a_AT0 place_NN1 with_PRP us_PNP upon_PRP his_DPS or_CJC her_DPS release_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 boards_NN2 hope_VVB for_PRP a_AT0 "_PUQ finding_NN1 of_PRF suitability_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ Homies_NN2 have_VHB to_TO0 comb_VVI their_DPS lives_NN2 for_PRP traces_NN2 of_PRF character_NN1 defects_NN2 ,_PUN feel_VVB remorse_NN1 for_PRP their_DPS actions_NN2 ,_PUN never_AV0 minimize_VVB their_DPS crimes_NN2 ,_PUN and_CJC convince_VVB the_AT0 board_NN1 that_CJT they_PNP are_VBB no_AV0 longer_AV0 the_AT0 person_NN1 they_PNP were_VBD at_PRP the_AT0 time_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 crime_NN1 ._SENT Never_AV0 mind_VVB that_CJT the_AT0 people_NN0 locked_VVN up_AVP are_VBB as_PRP much_DT0 victims_NN2 as_PRP perpetrators_NN2 ._SENT 
We_PNP want_VVB to_TO0 hold_VVI the_AT0 wounded_AJ0 AND_CJC the_AT0 person_NN1 who_PNQ did_VDD the_AT0 wounding¡ªbecause_NN1 we_PNP are_VBB all_DT0 always_AV0 both_AV0 ._SENT The_AT0 deincarceration_NN1 movement_NN1 ca_VM0 n't_XX0 make_VVI much_DT0 headway_NN1 unless_CJS we_PNP reconcile_VVB ourselves_PNX to_PRP this_DT0 truth_NN1 ._SENT Prosecutorial_AJ0 overreach_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP suppose_VVB ,_PUN is_VBZ the_AT0 very_AV0 opposite_AJ0 of_PRF the_AT0 mystical_AJ0 view_NN1 ,_PUN since_CJS it_PNP is_VBZ unable_AJ0 to_TO0 see_VVI the_AT0 whole_AJ0 picture_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC ca_VM0 n't_XX0 get_VVI beyond_AV0 (_PUL or_CJC underneath_AV0 )_PUR the_AT0 criminal_AJ0 act_NN1 ._SENT Hence_AV0 ,_PUN the_AT0 freedom_NN1 they_PNP have_VHB to_TO0 imprison_VVI whomever_PNQ they_PNP want_VVB for_PRP as_CJS long_AV0 as_CJS they_PNP wish_VVB ._SENT They_PNP do_VDB n't_XX0 see_VVI the_AT0 goodness_NN1 ._SENT 
It_PNP unlocks_VVZ some_DT0 door_NN1 ,_PUN however_AV0 ,_PUN to_TO0 embrace_VVI this_DT0 mystical_AJ0 view_NN1 ._SENT It_PNP will_VM0 keep_VVI us_PNP from_PRP seeking_VVG satisfaction_NN1 in_PRP revenge_NN1 ._SENT It_PNP frees_VVZ us_PNP from_PRP thinking_VVG that_CJT peace_NN1 will_VM0 come_VVI from_PRP humbling_AJ0 others_NN2 ,_PUN or_CJC that_DT0 being_VBG stern_AJ0 with_PRP our_DPS children_NN2 makes_VVZ them_PNP gentle_AJ0 ,_PUN or_CJC that_DT0 justice_NN1 is_VBZ pain_NN1 doled_VVN out_AVP to_PRP those_DT0 who_PNQ behave_VVB badly_AV0 ._SENT It_PNP holds_VVZ us_PNP back_AVP from_PRP believing_VVG that_CJT our_DPS righteousness_NN1 arrives_VVZ when_CJS we_PNP prove_VVB someone_PNI wrong_AJ0 ._SENT We_PNP will_VM0 praise_VVI someone_PNI and_CJC then_AV0 say_VVB ,_PUN "_PUQ with_PRP all_DT0 his_DPS flaws_NN2 ._SENT "_PUQ What_DTQ are_VBB flaws_NN2 ,_PUN anyway_AV0 ?_SENT It_PNP would_VM0 seem_VVI that_CJT flaws_NN2 are_VBB what_DTQ only_AV0 other_AJ0 people_NN0 have_VHB ._SENT Not_XX0 me_PNP ._SENT Turns_VVZ out_AVP ,_PUN judgment_NN1 is_VBZ blind_AJ0 ,_PUN only_AJ0 love_NN1 truly_AV0 sees_VVZ ,_PUN and_CJC only_AV0 an_AT0 understanding_NN1 heart_NN1 speaks_VVZ the_AT0 whole_AJ0 language_NN1 ._SENT 
Ignatius_NP0 said_VVD that_CJT his_DPS "_PUQ last_ORD defect_NN1 "_PUQ was_VBD that_CJT when_CJS he_PNP walked_VVD the_AT0 halls_NN2 and_CJC saw_VVD another_DT0 Jesuit_NN1 ,_PUN he_PNP would_VM0 laugh_VVI because_CJS he_PNP was_VBD so_AV0 filled_VVN with_PRP the_AT0 other_NN1 's_POS goodness_NN1 ._SENT He_PNP finally_AV0 "_PUQ reduced_VVN this_DT0 "_PUQ to_PRP a_AT0 smile_NN1 ._SENT Such_DT0 an_AT0 impulse_NN1 comes_VVZ from_PRP knowing_VVG that_CJT the_AT0 Tender_AJ0 One_PNI has_VHZ "_PUQ pitched_VVN his_DPS royal_AJ0 tent_NN1 inside_NN1 of_PRF you_PNP ,_PUN "_PUQ as_CJS Hafiz_NP0 writes_VVZ ,_PUN "_PUQ So_AV0 I_PNP will_VM0 always_AV0 lean_VVI my_DPS heart_NN1 as_CJS close_AJ0 to_PRP your_DPS soul_NN1 as_CJS I_PNP can_VM0 ._SENT "_PUQ A_AT0 smile_NN1 is_VBZ hard_AJ0 ,_PUN then_AV0 ,_PUN to_TO0 contain_VVI ._SENT 
A_AT0 senior_AJ0 staff_NN0 member_NN1 asked_VVD me_PNP once_AV0 ,_PUN what_DTQ was_VBD a_AT0 force_NN1 more_AV0 powerful_AJ0 than_CJS death_NN1 ?_SENT I_PNP said_VVD to_PRP her_PNP that_CJT I_PNP thought_VVD it_PNP was_VBD inhabiting_VVG your_DPS true_AJ0 self_NN1 in_PRP loving_AJ0 and_CJC thereby_AV0 no_AV0 longer_AV0 being_VBG a_AT0 stranger_NN1 to_PRP your_DPS own_DT0 unshakable_AJ0 goodness_NN1 ._SENT Homeboy_NP0 is_VBZ the_AT0 Lost_AJ0 and_CJC Found_VVD Department_NN1 ._SENT We_PNP all_AV0 lose_VVB ourselves_PNX and_CJC find_VVB ourselves_PNX in_PRP the_AT0 other_AJ0 ,_PUN and_CJC then_AV0 so_AV0 find_VVI our_DPS true_AJ0 selves_NN2 in_PRP loving_AJ0 ._SENT A_AT0 powerful_AJ0 force_NN1 ._SENT 
It_PNP 's_VBZ not_XX0 about_PRP discovering_VVG your_DPS good_AJ0 qualities_NN2 and_CJC making_VVG them_PNP better_AJC ._SENT Nor_CJC is_VBZ it_PNP about_PRP finding_VVG your_DPS potential_NN1 for_PRP good_AJ0 ._SENT A_AT0 donor_NN1 once_AV0 said_VVD of_PRF me_PNP that_CJT I_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 see_VVI "_PUQ gang_NN1 member_NN1 "_PUQ when_CJS I_PNP saw_VVD the_AT0 homies_NN2 ,_PUN but_CJC that_CJT I_PNP only_AV0 saw_VVD "_PUQ potential_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ Not_XX0 quite_AV0 ._SENT I_PNP only_AV0 want_VVB to_TO0 see_VVI goodness_NN1 ._SENT None_PNI of_PRF us_PNP want_VVB to_TO0 settle_VVI for_PRP reaching_VVG our_DPS full_AJ0 potential_NN1 when_CJS we_PNP can_VM0 inhabit_VVI fullness_NN1 ._SENT We_PNP find_VVB our_DPS true_AJ0 selves_NN2 IN_PRP LOVING¡ªin_NN1 the_AT0 verb_NN1 of_PRF it_PNP ._SENT Otherwise_AV0 ,_PUN we_PNP get_VVB stuck_VVN in_PRP the_AT0 noun_NN1 of_PRF it_PNP ._SENT What_DTQ seeks_VVZ perfection_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX0 our_DPS self_NN1 but_CJC our_DPS love_NN1 ._SENT We_PNP need_VVB to_TO0 ,_PUN each_DT0 day_NN1 ,_PUN if_CJS you_PNP will_VM0 ,_PUN "_PUQ log_VVB on_AVP "_PUQ with_PRP our_DPS username_NN1 and_CJC password_NN1 ,_PUN fully_AV0 agreeing_VVG (_PUL to_PRP the_AT0 cookie_NN1 policy_NN1 )_PUR and_CJC allowing_VVG the_AT0 free_AJ0 flow_NN1 of_PRF tenderness_NN1 in_PRP the_AT0 world_NN1 ._SENT If_CJS it_PNP stays_VVZ a_AT0 verb_NN1 ,_PUN tenderness_NN1 does_VDZ n't_XX0 seek_VVI or_CJC care_VVI about_PRP its_DPS return_NN1 on_PRP its_DPS loving_AJ0 investment_NN1 ._SENT It_PNP just_AV0 finds_VVZ its_DPS full_AJ0 measure_NN1 of_PRF goodness_NN1 in_PRP this_DT0 loving_AJ0 ._SENT 
I_PNP have_VHB a_AT0 framed_AJ0 photograph_NN1 in_PRP my_DPS office_NN1 of_PRF Victor_NP0 ,_PUN a_AT0 young_AJ0 homie_NN1 ,_PUN receiving_VVG a_AT0 bouquet_NN1 of_PRF flowers_NN2 from_PRP the_AT0 queen_NN1 of_PRF Sweden¡ªin_NP0 Sweden_NP0 ._SENT (_PUL Long_AJ0 story_NN1 ._SENT )_PUR A_AT0 very_AV0 smart_AJ0 kid_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP had_VHD met_VVN him_PNP in_PRP a_AT0 probation_NN1 camp_NN1 and_CJC he_PNP later_AV0 told_VVD me_PNP that_CJT he_PNP taught_VVD himself_PNX French_AJ0 in_PRP the_AT0 camp_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ Why_AVQ 'd_VM0 ya_PNP learn_VVI that_DT0 ?_SENT "_PUQ 
"_PUQ Cuz_VVB ..._PUN I_PNP was_VBD bored_AJ0 as_PRP fuck_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ After_PRP that_DT0 picture_NN1 was_VBD taken_VVN ,_PUN he_PNP flew_VVD home_AV0 and_CJC came_VVD straight_AV0 to_PRP the_AT0 office_NN1 ,_PUN jet-lagged_AJ0 and_CJC giddy_AJ0 ._SENT He_PNP stopped_VVD me_PNP three_CRD times_NN2 that_DT0 day_NN1 to_TO0 hug_VVI me_PNP and_CJC say_VVB ,_PUN "_PUQ THAT_DT0 was_VBD life_NN1 changing_AJ0 ._SENT I_PNP 'm_VBB even_AV0 gonna_AJ0 remove_VVB my_DPS tattoos_NN2 ._SENT "_PUQ Later_AV0 he_PNP would_VM0 tell_VVI me_PNP ,_PUN "_PUQ I_PNP 'm_VBB gonna_AJ0 try_VVB and_CJC dress_VVB differently_AV0 now¡ªless_AJ0 gangster_NN1 ._SENT In_PRP fact_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP wanna_NN1 dress_NN1 more_AV0 like_PRP you_PNP ._SENT "_PUQ 
I_PNP tell_VVB him_PNP ,_PUN "_PUQ You_PNP mean_VVB old-fashioned_AJ0 and_CJC out_AVP of_PRF it_PNP ?_SENT "_PUQ 
"_PUQ Exactly_AV0 ,_PUN "_PUQ he_PNP says_VVZ ._SENT 
Some_DT0 months_NN2 later_AV0 ,_PUN having_VHG decompressed_VVN from_PRP the_AT0 experience_NN1 ,_PUN he_PNP tells_VVZ me_PNP ,_PUN "_PUQ Damn_ITJ ,_PUN G¡ªI_NP0 'm_VBB in_PRP love_NN1 and_CJC it_PNP feels_VVZ proper_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ 
"_PUQ Who_PNQ ya_PNP in_PRP love_NN1 with_PRP ?_SENT "_PUQ I_PNP ask_VVB him_PNP ._SENT 
"_PUQ Myself_PNX ,_PUN "_PUQ he_PNP says_VVZ ._SENT Victor_NP0 had_VHD been_VBN invited_VVN into_PRP his_DPS own_DT0 gracious_AJ0 heart_NN1 and_CJC RSVP_NP0 'd_VHD ._SENT Transformation_NN1 is_VBZ not_XX0 just_AV0 a_AT0 destination_NN1 ,_PUN but_CJC a_AT0 process_NN1 ._SENT He_PNP saw_VVD his_DPS own_DT0 goodness_NN1 and_CJC then_AV0 could_VM0 repurpose_VVI himself_PNX for_PRP positivity_NN1 ._SENT 
Before_PRP mass_NN1 at_PRP San_NP0 Fernando_NP0 Valley_NP0 Juvenile_AJ0 Hall_NN1 ,_PUN we_PNP were_VBD awaiting_VVG the_AT0 arrival_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 kids_NN2 and_CJC I_PNP was_VBD speaking_VVG to_PRP one_CRD of_PRF the_AT0 Catholic_AJ0 volunteers_NN2 ._SENT She_PNP lamented_VVD ,_PUN "_PUQ There_EX0 just_AV0 is_VBZ n't_XX0 enough_DT0 time_NN1 here_AV0 with_PRP them_PNP to_TO0 teach_VVI them_PNP ._SENT What_DTQ do_VDB we_PNP do_VDI ?_SENT "_PUQ Surely_AV0 her_DPS heart_NN1 was_VBD in_PRP the_AT0 right_AJ0 place_NN1 ._SENT 
I_PNP found_VVD myself_PNX saying_VVG to_PRP her_PNP ,_PUN "_PUQ But_CJC there_EX0 is_VBZ plenty_PNI of_PRF time_NN1 to_TO0 learn_VVI from_PRP them_PNP ._SENT "_PUQ A_AT0 willingness_NN1 to_TO0 be_VBI reached_VVN by_PRP them_PNP is_VBZ reflective_AJ0 of_PRF the_AT0 God_NP0 we_PNP actually_AV0 have_VHB ._SENT If_CJS we_PNP insist_VVB on_PRP "_PUQ teaching_NN1 ,_PUN "_PUQ it_PNP signals_VVZ that_CJT God_NP0 does_VDZ n't_XX0 think_VVI they_PNP are_VBB enough_AV0 ._SENT Lifelong_AJ0 learning_NN1 is_VBZ ,_PUN of_PRF course_NN1 ,_PUN magnificent_AJ0 ._SENT Yet_AV0 ,_PUN it_PNP will_VM0 be_VBI difficult_AJ0 for_PRP these_DT0 kids_NN2 to_TO0 shake_VVI the_AT0 already_AV0 solid_AJ0 sense_NN1 that_CJT they_PNP are_VBB deficient_AJ0 because_CJS they_PNP do_VDB n't_XX0 measure_VVI up_AVP ._SENT But_CJC if_CJS we_PNP learn_VVB from_PRP them_PNP and_CJC cherish_VVB them_PNP ,_PUN and_CJC one_PNI another_DT0 ,_PUN all_DT0 of_PRF us_PNP inhabit_VVB the_AT0 truth_NN1 of_PRF our_DPS unshakable_AJ0 goodness_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC with_PRP it_PNP ,_PUN our_DPS common_AJ0 dignity_NN1 and_CJC noble_AJ0 hearts_NN2 ._SENT 
Dwelling_NN1 deep_AJ0 within_PRP all_DT0 our_DPS souls_NN2 is_VBZ this_DT0 undeniable_AJ0 ,_PUN inexhaustible_AJ0 wellspring_NN1 of_PRF love_NN1 ,_PUN wisdom_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC goodness_NN1 ._SENT If_CJS we_PNP ca_VM0 n't_XX0 uncover_VVI and_CJC see_VVI this_DT0 essential_AJ0 purity_NN1 in_PRP ourselves_PNX ,_PUN then_AV0 everyone_PNI we_PNP see_VVB is_VBZ ugly_AJ0 ,_PUN limited_AJ0 ,_PUN and_CJC not_XX0 measuring_VVG up_AVP ._SENT So_AV0 how_AVQ do_VDB we_PNP make_VVI contact_NN1 with_PRP this_DT0 ?_SENT 
A_AT0 homie_NN1 I_PNP met_VVD in_PRP camp_NN1 expressed_VVD a_AT0 common_AJ0 lament_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP mean_VVB ..._PUN my_DPS jefito_NN1 [_PUL dad_NN1 ]_PUR just_AV0 does_VDZ n't_XX0 get_VVI me_PNP ._SENT He_PNP does_VDZ ..._PUN not_XX0 ..._PUN understand_VVB me_PNP ._SENT I_PNP mean_VVB ..._PUN he_PNP thinks_VVZ ..._PUN I_PNP 'm_VBB good_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ How_AVQ easy_AJ0 it_PNP is_VBZ to_TO0 believe_VVI and_CJC invest_VVI in_PRP our_DPS impoverished_AJ0 identity_NN1 ,_PUN to_TO0 believe_VVI that_CJT the_AT0 injured_AJ0 self_NN1 is_VBZ who_PNQ we_PNP are_VBB ._SENT We_PNP never_AV0 want_VVB to_TO0 be_VBI who_PNQ we_PNP are_VBB ._SENT Yet_AV0 one_PNI does_VDZ n't_XX0 "_PUQ become_VVI "_PUQ noble_AJ0 ._SENT We_PNP locate_VVB our_DPS nobility_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 hard_AJ0 part_NN1 is_VBZ embracing_VVG our_DPS inner_AJ0 nobility_NN1 ,_PUN beauty_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC goodness_NN1 ._SENT Unfortunately_AV0 ,_PUN so_AV0 often_AV0 for_PRP all_DT0 of_PRF us_PNP ,_PUN it_PNP is_VBZ the_AT0 frightened_AJ0 ,_PUN damaged_AJ0 self_NN1 that_CJT takes_VVZ center_NN1 stage_NN1 ._SENT We_PNP can_VM0 learn_VVI to_TO0 catch_VVI ourselves_PNX ._SENT The_AT0 homies_NN2 think_VVB that_CJT this_DT0 is_VBZ their_DPS truth_NN1 ._SENT They_PNP get_VVB caught_VVN in_PRP the_AT0 downward_AJ0 spiral_NN1 and_CJC repetitive_AJ0 cycle_NN1 of_PRF unworthiness_NN1 and_CJC shame_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 flip_NN1 side_NN1 of_PRF this_DT0 is_VBZ developing_VVG a_AT0 positive_AJ0 facility_NN1 for_PRP a_AT0 different_AJ0 way_NN1 to_TO0 define_VVI ._SENT To_TO0 define_VVI oneself_PNX in_PRP donation_NN1 rather_AV0 than_CJS deficit_NN1 ._SENT It_PNP 's_VBZ not_XX0 that_CJT they_PNP have_VHB forgotten_VVN their_DPS original_AJ0 goodness_NN1 ,_PUN but_CJC that_CJT they_PNP have_VHB never_AV0 been_VBN properly_AV0 introduced_VVN to_PRP it_PNP ._SENT 
Endlessly_AV0 ,_PUN though_AV0 ,_PUN we_PNP keep_VVB trying_VVG to_TO0 rid_VVI ourselves_PNX of_PRF our_DPS selves_NN2 ._SENT We_PNP just_AV0 wo_VM0 n't_XX0 let_VVI go_NN1 of_PRF this_DT0 grudge_NN1 match_NN1 that_CJT we_PNP carry_VVB on_AVP ._SENT We_PNP sidestep_VVB a_AT0 satisfaction_NN1 with_PRP who_PNQ we_PNP are_VBB and_CJC how_AVQ we_PNP are_VBB and_CJC we_PNP try_VVB to_TO0 get_VVI rid_VVN of_PRF the_AT0 parts_NN2 of_PRF ourselves_PNX that_CJT we_PNP find_VVB odious_AJ0 ._SENT 
I_PNP met_VVD Candelario_NP0 when_CJS he_PNP was_VBD fifteen_CRD and_CJC "_PUQ running_VVG amok_AV0 "_PUQ (_PUL as_CJS he_PNP called_VVD it_PNP )_PUR in_PRP the_AT0 projects_NN2 ._SENT He_PNP got_VVD shot_VVN in_PRP the_AT0 chest_NN1 once_AV0 and_CJC a_AT0 very_AV0 large_AJ0 medallion_NN1 of_PRF Our_DPS Lady_NN1 of_PRF Guadalupe_NP0 deflected_VVD the_AT0 bullet_NN1 nicely_AV0 ._SENT Unharmed_AJ0 and_CJC breathless_AJ0 at_PRP this_DT0 whole_AJ0 moment_NN1 of_PRF magical_AJ0 thinking_NN1 ,_PUN he_PNP showed_VVD me_PNP the_AT0 dented_AJ0 medal_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ This_DT0 woke_VVD my_DPS ass_NN1 up_AVP proper_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ Some_DT0 years_NN2 later_AV0 ,_PUN though_AV0 ,_PUN he_PNP wrote_VVD me_PNP from_PRP prison_NN1 ,_PUN "_PUQ Yo_ITJ no_ITJ soy_AJ0 malo_NN1 (_PUL I_PNP 'm_VBB not_XX0 a_AT0 bad_AJ0 person_NN1 )_PUR ..._PUN ask_VVB God_NP0 ._SENT "_PUQ Such_DT0 knowledge_NN1 is_VBZ a_AT0 gift_NN1 from_PRP God_NP0 ,_PUN and_CJC it_PNP is_VBZ a_AT0 gift_NN1 God_NP0 longs_VVZ to_TO0 give_VVI ._SENT Once_CJS I_PNP know_VVB ,_PUN "_PUQ que_VVD no_AT0 soy_AJ0 malo_NN1 ,_PUN "_PUQ I_PNP see_VVB this_DT0 goodness_NN1 wherever_AVQ I_PNP look_VVB ._SENT And_CJC yet_AV0 ,_PUN this_DT0 "_PUQ finding_NN1 of_PRF suitability_NN1 "_PUQ always_AV0 seems_VVZ to_TO0 elude_VVI us_PNP ._SENT 
When_CJS drug_NN1 use_NN1 became_VVD a_AT0 problem_NN1 for_PRP homies_NN2 in_PRP the_AT0 late_AJ0 '_POS 90s_CRD ,_PUN there_EX0 was_VBD a_AT0 slow_AJ0 gradation_NN1 from_PRP drinking_NN1 ,_PUN to_PRP bud_NN1 ,_PUN to_TO0 crack_VVI ._SENT Meth_VVZ is_VBZ most_AV0 pervasive_AJ0 now_AV0 ,_PUN but_CJC in_PRP the_AT0 old_AJ0 days_NN2 ,_PUN there_EX0 was_VBD this_DT0 "_PUQ It_PNP 's_VBZ only_AV0 Thunderbird_NP0 "_PUQ or_CJC "_PUQ El_NP0 Presidente_NP0 "_PUQ or_CJC the_AT0 constant_AJ0 "_PUQ It_PNP 's_VBZ only_AV0 bud_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ Gang_NN1 members_NN2 sold_VVD drugs_NN2 but_CJC did_VDD n't_XX0 so_AV0 much_DT0 use_NN1 drugs_NN2 ._SENT Manuel_NP0 was_VBD a_AT0 full-blown_AJ0 alcoholic_NN1 as_PRP a_AT0 teenager_NN1 ,_PUN then_AV0 graduated_VVN from_PRP selling_VVG crack_NN1 to_PRP being_VBG consumed_VVN in_PRP using_VVG it_PNP ._SENT When_CJS I_PNP would_VM0 visit_VVI him_PNP in_PRP juvenile_AJ0 hall_NN1 ,_PUN he_PNP would_VM0 downplay_VVI his_DPS alcoholism_NN1 when_CJS I_PNP brought_VVD it_PNP up_AVP ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP just_AV0 drink_VVB gin_NN1 and_CJC juice_NN1 ..._PUN maybe_AV0 a_AT0 Thunderbird_NP0 once_AV0 in_PRP a_AT0 big_AJ0 while_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ This_DT0 ushered_VVD in_PRP a_AT0 crying_NN1 jag_NN1 and_CJC an_AT0 emphasis_NN1 he_PNP wanted_VVD to_TO0 make_VVI ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP never_AV0 drink_VVB beer_NN1 ._SENT Cuz_NN1 of_PRF my_DPS mom_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ She_PNP had_VHD four_CRD kids_NN2 ,_PUN left_VVN on_PRP her_DPS own_DT0 ,_PUN after_PRP being_VBG abandoned_VVN by_PRP Manuel_NP0 's_POS father_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ When_CJS I_PNP was_VBD a_AT0 kid_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP 'd_VM0 wake_VVI up_AVP early_AV0 after_PRP a_AT0 night_NN1 that_CJT my_DPS mom_NN1 got_VVD really_AV0 drunk_AJ0 and_CJC I_PNP 'd_VM0 go_VVI to_PRP the_AT0 fridge_NN1 and_CJC take_VVB out_AVP all_DT0 the_AT0 beer_NN1 left_VVD and_CJC one_PNI by_PRP one_PNI I_PNP 'd_VM0 open_VVI them_PNP up_AVP and_CJC reach_VVI high_AV0 up_AVP to_PRP the_AT0 sink_NN1 and_CJC pour_VVB them_PNP out_AVP ._SENT That_DT0 's_VBZ why_AVQ ,_PUN "_PUQ he_PNP finished_VVD proudly_AV0 ,_PUN "_PUQ I_PNP never_AV0 touch_VVB beer_NN1 ._SENT Me_DPS da_NN1 asco_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ 
I_PNP got_VVD him_PNP into_PRP a_AT0 rehab_NN1 to_TO0 address_VVI his_DPS crack_NN1 habit_NN1 some_DT0 years_NN2 later_AV0 ._SENT He_PNP left_VVD after_PRP one_CRD month_NN1 ,_PUN for_PRP one_CRD day_NN1 only_AV0 ,_PUN to_TO0 attend_VVI his_DPS younger_AJC brother_NN1 Paul_NP0 's_POS funeral_NN1 ._SENT Paul_NP0 shot_VVD himself_PNX in_PRP the_AT0 head_NN1 ._SENT We_PNP talked_VVD a_AT0 lot_NN1 about_PRP his_DPS brother_NN1 on_PRP the_AT0 long_AJ0 drive_NN1 home_NN1 ._SENT After_PRP the_AT0 funeral_NN1 ,_PUN returning_VVG to_PRP the_AT0 rehab_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP asked_VVD how_AVQ his_DPS recovery_NN1 experience_NN1 was_VBD going_VVG ._SENT "_PUQ You_PNP know_VVB ,_PUN G_ZZ0 ..._PUN I_PNP 'm_VBB not_XX0 gonna_NN1 tell_VVB ya_PNP it_PNP 's_VHZ been_VBN easy_AJ0 ,_PUN cuz_VVB it_PNP has_VHZ n't_XX0 been_VBN ._SENT It_PNP 's_VHZ been_VBN real_AJ0 hard_AV0 ._SENT "_PUQ Then_AV0 as_CJS soft_AJ0 as_CJS he_PNP can_VM0 be_VBI ,_PUN he_PNP said_VVD ,_PUN "_PUQ But_CJC I_PNP 'm_VBB learning_VVG wisdom_NN1 every_AT0 day_NN1 ._SENT In_PRP fact_NN1 ,_PUN now_AV0 I_PNP want_VVB wisdom_NN1 to_TO0 be_VBI my_DPS best_AJS friend_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ 
