People_NN0 have_VHB always_AV0 told_VVN me_PNP not_XX0 to_TO0 change_VVI my_DPS name_NN1 ._SENT Some_DT0 insisted_VVD that_CJT they_PNP liked_VVD it_PNP :_PUN Bich_VVB ,_PUN a_AT0 Vietnamese_AJ0 name_NN1 ,_PUN given_VVN to_PRP me_PNP in_PRP Saigon_NP0 ,_PUN where_AVQ I_PNP was_VBD born_VVN and_CJC where_AVQ the_AT0 name_NN1 is_VBZ quite_AV0 ordinary_AJ0 ._SENT When_CJS my_DPS family_NN1 named_VVD me_PNP ,_PUN they_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 know_VVI that_CJT we_PNP would_VM0 become_VVI refugees_NN2 eight_CRD months_NN2 later_AV0 and_CJC that_CJT I_PNP would_VM0 grow_VVI up_AVP in_PRP Michigan_NP0 in_PRP the_AT0 nineteen-eighties_CRD ,_PUN in_PRP the_AT0 conservative_AJ0 ,_PUN mostly_AV0 white_AJ0 ,_PUN west_NN1 side_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 state_NN1 ,_PUN where_AVQ girls_NN2 had_VHD names_NN2 like_PRP Jennifer_NP0 ,_PUN Amy_NP0 ,_PUN and_CJC Stacy_NP0 ._SENT A_AT0 name_NN1 like_PRP Bich_NN1 (_PUL pronounced_VVN "_PUQ Bic_NP0 "_PUQ )_PUR did_VDD n't_XX0 just_AV0 make_VVI me_PNP stand_VVI out_AVP —_PUN it_PNP made_VVD me_PNP miserably_AV0 visible_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ Your_DPS name_NN1 is_VBZ what_DTQ ?_SENT "_PUQ people_NN0 would_VM0 ask_VVI ._SENT "_PUQ How_AVQ do_VDB you_PNP spell_VVI that_DT0 ?_SENT "_PUQ Sometimes_AV0 they_PNP would_VM0 laugh_VVI in_PRP my_DPS face_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ You_PNP know_VVB what_DTQ your_DPS name_NN1 looks_VVZ like_PRP ,_PUN right_AV0 ?_SENT Did_VDD your_DPS parents_NN2 really_AV0 name_VVB you_PNP that_DT0 ?_SENT "_PUQ 
I_PNP have_VHB always_AV0 envied_VVN Asian_AJ0 kids_NN2 whose_DTQ parents_NN2 let_VVB them_PNP change_VVI their_DPS names_NN2 or_CJC have_VHB separate_AJ0 "_PUQ American_AJ0 "_PUQ names_NN2 ._SENT Phuoc_NP0 at_PRP home_NN1 could_VM0 be_VBI Phil_NP0 at_PRP school_NN1 ._SENT But_CJC my_DPS parents_NN2 refused_VVD to_TO0 let_VVI me_PNP change_VVI my_DPS name_NN1 ._SENT They_PNP said_VVD that_CJT I_PNP should_VM0 be_VBI proud_AJ0 of_PRF who_PNQ I_PNP was_VBD ,_PUN and_CJC they_PNP were_VBD n't_XX0 wrong_AJ0 ,_PUN but_CJC they_PNP were_VBD so_AV0 angry_AJ0 about_PRP it_PNP that_CJT I_PNP knew_VVD I_PNP should_VM0 keep_VVI my_DPS worries_NN2 to_PRP myself_PNX ._SENT I_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 want_VVI to_TO0 reject_VVI my_DPS family_NN1 's_POS Vietnamese_AJ0 culture_NN1 ,_PUN replacing_VVG it_PNP with_PRP all_DT0 that_DT0 TV_NN1 commercials_NN2 promised_VVN ._SENT And_CJC so_CJS I_PNP stuck_VVD with_PRP Bich_NN1 ,_PUN or_CJC let_VVB it_PNP stick_VVI with_PRP me_PNP ._SENT 
My_DPS earliest_AJS memories_NN2 of_PRF school_NN1 include_VVB the_AT0 tension_NN1 of_PRF roll_NN1 call_NN1 ,_PUN when_CJS I_PNP would_VM0 try_VVI to_TO0 volunteer_VVI my_DPS name_NN1 to_TO0 stop_VVI the_AT0 teacher_NN1 from_PRP attempting_VVG a_AT0 pronunciation_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 kindest_AJS teachers_NN2 were_VBD the_AT0 ones_NN2 who_PNQ asked_VVD me_PNP directly_AV0 how_AVQ to_TO0 say_VVI my_DPS name_NN1 —_PUN in_PRP classes_NN2 of_PRF almost_AV0 all_DT0 white_AJ0 kids_NN2 ,_PUN it_PNP was_VBD n't_XX0 difficult_AJ0 to_TO0 figure_VVI out_AVP who_PNQ would_VM0 be_VBI named_VVN Bich_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP was_VBD a_AT0 shy_AJ0 child_NN1 who_PNQ then_AV0 became_VVD shyer_AJC ;_PUN I_PNP avoided_VVD meeting_VVG people_NN0 so_CJS I_PNP could_VM0 avoid_VVI saying_VVG my_DPS name_NN1 ._SENT And_CJC I_PNP took_VVD on_PRP the_AT0 shame_NN1 of_PRF not_XX0 being_VBG strong_AJ0 enough_AV0 to_TO0 handle_VVI the_AT0 shame_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 American_AJ0 gaze_NN1 ._SENT 
Names_NN2 are_VBB deeply_AV0 personal_AJ0 and_CJC deeply_AV0 public_AJ0 ._SENT We_PNP have_VHB to_TO0 see_VVI our_DPS names_NN2 all_DT0 the_AT0 time_NN1 ._SENT Every_AT0 form_NN1 ,_PUN every_AT0 post_NN1 ,_PUN every_AT0 e-mail_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ Your_DPS name_NN1 here_AV0 "_PUQ at_PRP the_AT0 top_NN1 of_PRF every_AT0 assignment_NN1 in_PRP elementary_AJ0 school_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 other_AJ0 kids_NN2 would_VM0 decorate_VVI their_DPS names_NN2 with_PRP stars_NN2 and_CJC hearts_NN2 ;_PUN they_PNP would_VM0 try_VVI to_TO0 make_VVI their_DPS names_NN2 look_VVB bigger_AJC than_CJS everyone_PNI else_AV0 's_POS ._SENT The_AT0 sight_NN1 of_PRF their_DPS names_NN2 gave_VVD them_PNP pleasure_NN1 and_CJC satisfaction_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP have_VHB never_AV0 felt_VVN this_DT0 pleasure_NN1 ,_PUN not_XX0 once_AV0 ._SENT Not_XX0 even_AV0 with_PRP publications_NN2 ._SENT To_PRP me_PNP ,_PUN my_DPS name_NN1 has_VHZ been_VBN a_AT0 taunt_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP 'm_VBB always_AV0 trying_VVG not_XX0 to_TO0 look_VVI at_PRP it_PNP ._SENT 
The_AT0 word_NN1 bich_NN1 means_VVZ a_AT0 kind_NN1 of_PRF jade_NN1 ._SENT Growing_VVG up_AVP ,_PUN I_PNP knew_VVD that_CJT Vietnamese_AJ0 girls_NN2 were_VBD supposed_AJ0 to_TO0 wear_VVI jade_NN1 bracelets_NN2 and_CJC grow_VVB into_PRP them_PNP so_AV0 that_CJT one_CRD day_NN1 the_AT0 bracelets_NN2 would_VM0 be_VBI permanent_AJ0 ._SENT The_AT0 stone_NN1 is_VBZ meant_VVN to_TO0 protect_VVI ,_PUN to_TO0 heal_VVI —_PUN and_CJC the_AT0 greener_AJC the_AT0 jade_NN1 ,_PUN the_AT0 better_AJC ._SENT In_PRP a_AT0 different_AJ0 country_NN1 ,_PUN in_PRP a_AT0 different_AJ0 life_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS given_AJ0 name_NN1 would_VM0 be_VBI just_AV0 as_CJS beautiful_AJ0 ._SENT In_PRP truth_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP could_VM0 never_AV0 wear_VVI a_AT0 bracelet_NN1 very_AV0 long_AJ0 ._SENT In_PRP truth_NN1 ,_PUN most_DT0 of_PRF the_AT0 people_NN0 who_PNQ have_VHB claimed_VVN to_TO0 like_VVI the_AT0 name_NN1 Bich_NN1 ,_PUN or_CJC who_PNQ have_VHB been_VBN outraged_AJ0 and_CJC horrified_AJ0 at_PRP the_AT0 idea_NN1 of_PRF changing_VVG it_PNP ,_PUN have_VHB been_VBN white_AJ0 women_NN2 ._SENT They_PNP are_VBB the_AT0 ones_NN2 who_PNQ told_VVD me_PNP the_AT0 name_NN1 was_VBD cool_AJ0 ,_PUN was_VBD interesting_AJ0 ,_PUN was_VBD unique_AJ0 ,_PUN was_VBD being_VBG true_AJ0 to_PRP myself_PNX ,_PUN was_VBD an_AT0 important_AJ0 part_NN1 of_PRF my_DPS heritage_NN1 and_CJC cultural_AJ0 identity_NN1 ._SENT They_PNP said_VVD that_CJT they_PNP liked_VVD the_AT0 name_NN1 ,_PUN that_CJT it_PNP would_VM0 break_VVI their_DPS hearts_NN2 if_CJS I_PNP changed_VVD it_PNP ._SENT They_PNP did_VDD not_XX0 say_VVI that_CJT they_PNP wished_VVD to_TO0 have_VHI the_AT0 name_NN1 themselves_PNX ._SENT I_PNP wanted_VVD to_TO0 believe_VVI them_PNP ;_PUN for_PRP a_AT0 long_AJ0 time_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP made_VVD a_AT0 choice_NN1 to_TO0 believe_VVI them_PNP ._SENT But_CJC I_PNP knew_VVD ,_PUN too_AV0 ,_PUN that_CJT they_PNP liked_VVD the_AT0 exotic_AJ0 so_AV0 long_AJ0 as_CJS they_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 have_VHI to_TO0 deal_VVI with_PRP its_DPS complications_NN2 ._SENT They_PNP liked_VVD the_AT0 idea_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 exotic_AJ0 ,_PUN not_XX0 thinking_VVG about_PRP how_AVQ exotic_AJ0 might_VM0 benefit_VVI the_AT0 person_NN1 deciding_VVG what_DTQ exotic_AJ0 is_VBZ ._SENT Sometimes_AV0 I_PNP wondered_VVD whether_CJS they_PNP also_AV0 liked_VVD feeling_VVG bad_AJ0 for_PRP me_PNP ._SENT 
I_PNP 've_VHB tried_VVN to_TO0 inhabit_VVI the_AT0 name_NN1 Bich_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP used_VVD to_TO0 add_VVI the_AT0 accent_NN1 over_PRP the_AT0 "_PUQ i_ZZ0 "_PUQ to_TO0 show_VVI the_AT0 correct_AJ0 spelling_NN1 :_PUN Bích_NP0 ._SENT The_AT0 sound_NN1 is_VBZ somewhere_AV0 between_PRP a_AT0 question_NN1 and_CJC an_AT0 exclamation_NN1 ._SENT But_CJC how_AVQ can_VM0 I_PNP get_VVI away_AV0 from_PRP the_AT0 gaze_NN1 ?_SENT It_PNP is_VBZ one_CRD of_PRF my_DPS historical_AJ0 facts_NN2 that_CJT the_AT0 name_NN1 is_VBZ steeped_VVN in_PRP shame_NN1 ,_PUN because_CJS living_VVG in_PRP the_AT0 United_NP0 States_NP0 as_PRP a_AT0 refugee_NN1 and_CJC a_AT0 child_NN1 of_PRF refugees_NN2 was_VBD steeped_VVN in_PRP shame_NN1 ._SENT America_NP0 made_VVD sure_AJ0 I_PNP knew_VVD that_CJT ,_PUN felt_VVD that_CJT ,_PUN from_PRP my_DPS earliest_AJS moments_NN2 of_PRF awareness_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP cannot_VVB detach_VVB the_AT0 name_NN1 Bich_NN1 from_PRP my_DPS childhood_NN1 ,_PUN cannot_NP0 detach_VVB it_PNP from_PRP the_AT0 experience_NN1 of_PRF people_NN0 laughing_VVG at_PRP me_PNP ,_PUN calling_VVG me_PNP a_AT0 bitch_NN1 ,_PUN letting_VVG me_PNP know_VVB that_CJT I_PNP 'm_VBB the_AT0 punch_NN1 line_NN1 of_PRF my_DPS own_DT0 joke_NN1 ,_PUN too_AV0 stupid_AJ0 or_CJC afraid_AJ0 to_TO0 do_VDI anything_PNI but_CJC take_VVB it_PNP ._SENT When_CJS I_PNP see_VVB the_AT0 letters_NN2 that_CJT spell_VVB out_AVP Bich_VVB ,_PUN I_PNP see_VVB a_AT0 version_NN1 of_PRF self_NN1 I_PNP 've_VHB had_VHN to_TO0 create_VVI ,_PUN to_TO0 hide_VVI from_PRP trauma_NN1 ._SENT Even_AV0 now_AV0 ,_PUN typing_VVG the_AT0 letters_NN2 ,_PUN I_PNP want_VVB to_TO0 turn_VVI away_AV0 ._SENT America_NP0 has_VHZ ruined_VVN the_AT0 name_NN1 Bich_NN1 for_PRP me_PNP ,_PUN and_CJC I_PNP have_VHB let_VVN it_PNP ._SENT 
I_PNP ca_VM0 n't_XX0 write_VVI about_PRP my_DPS name_NN1 without_PRP writing_VVG about_PRP racism_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC I_PNP ca_VM0 n't_XX0 write_VVI about_PRP racism_NN1 without_PRP writing_VVG about_PRP violence_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP remember_VVB being_VBG a_AT0 kid_NN1 and_CJC hearing_VVG my_DPS dad_NN1 and_CJC uncles_NN2 whispering_VVG about_PRP the_AT0 murder_NN1 of_PRF Vincent_NP0 Chin_NP0 ,_PUN in_PRP Detroit_NP0 ,_PUN in_PRP 1982._CRD Today_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP talk_VVB to_PRP my_DPS kids_NN2 about_PRP the_AT0 murder_NN1 of_PRF six_CRD Asian_AJ0 women_NN2 in_PRP Atlanta_NP0 ._SENT I_PNP 'm_VBB teaching_VVG them_PNP about_PRP colonization_NN1 ,_PUN Orientalism_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC anti-Asian_AJ0 immigration_NN1 laws_NN2 ._SENT About_AV0 what_DTQ happens_VVZ when_CJS Asians_NN2 and_CJC Asian-Americans_NN2 are_VBB made_VVN invisible_AJ0 except_CJS as_PRP targets_NN2 of_PRF derision_NN1 or_CJC as_PRP ideals_NN2 of_PRF behavior_NN1 —_PUN as_CJS ways_NN2 to_TO0 create_VVI fear_NN1 ,_PUN enforce_VVB compliance_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC shore_VVB up_AVP racism_NN1 against_PRP Black_NP0 ,_PUN Latinx_NP0 ,_PUN and_CJC indigenous_AJ0 people_NN0 ._SENT Of_PRF course_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS children_NN2 worry_VVI ._SENT We_PNP 've_VHB all_AV0 been_VBN worried_VVN for_PRP years_NN2 ._SENT These_DT0 days_NN2 ,_PUN we_PNP are_VBB extra_AV0 careful_AJ0 when_CJS we_PNP leave_VVB the_AT0 house_NN1 ._SENT 
Yet_AV0 ,_PUN all_DT0 my_DPS life_NN1 ,_PUN America_NP0 has_VHZ told_VVN me_PNP that_CJT I_PNP 'm_VBB overreacting_VVG ._SENT That_CJT it_PNP is_VBZ still_AV0 O.K._AJ0 to_TO0 laugh_VVI at_PRP Asian_AJ0 names_NN2 ,_PUN still_AV0 O.K._AJ0 to_TO0 make_VVI fun_NN1 of_PRF Asian_AJ0 people_NN0 —_PUN those_DT0 weird_AJ0 foreigners_NN2 who_PNQ all_AV0 look_VVB the_AT0 same_DT0 and_CJC have_VHB those_DT0 hilarious_AJ0 ,_PUN ugly_AJ0 accents_NN2 ._SENT I_PNP know_VVB that_CJT it_PNP 's_VBZ still_AV0 O.K._AJ0 because_CJS it_PNP keeps_VVZ happening_VVG ,_PUN in_PRP media_NN0 and_CJC in_PRP real_AJ0 life_NN1 ._SENT And_CJC ,_PUN when_CJS it_PNP does_VDZ ,_PUN and_CJC Asian_AJ0 people_NN0 express_VVB anger_NN1 about_PRP it_PNP ,_PUN they_PNP are_VBB countered_VVN with_PRP "_PUQ you_PNP 're_VBB too_AV0 sensitive_AJ0 ;_PUN it_PNP 's_VBZ just_AV0 a_AT0 joke_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ I_PNP get_VVB it_PNP —_PUN the_AT0 joke_NN1 is_VBZ more_AV0 important_AJ0 than_CJS our_DPS existence_NN1 ._SENT 
My_DPS first_ORD book_NN1 was_VBD published_VVN under_PRP my_DPS given_AJ0 name_NN1 because_CJS it_PNP was_VBD a_AT0 memoir_NN1 and_CJC I_PNP thought_VVD one_PNI had_VHD to_TO0 do_VDI that_DT0 ,_PUN to_TO0 publish_VVI a_AT0 true_AJ0 thing_NN1 with_PRP one_PNI 's_POS given_AJ0 name_NN1 ._SENT (_PUL I_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 have_VHI another_DT0 name_NN1 idea_NN1 at_PRP that_DT0 point_NN1 ,_PUN anyway_AV0 ._SENT )_PUR I_PNP was_VBD then_AV0 told_VVN that_CJT one_PNI should_VM0 not_XX0 change_VVI their_DPS name_NN1 after_PRP publishing_NN1 ._SENT Sure_AJ0 ,_PUN T_ZZ0 ._SENT C_ZZ0 ._SENT Boyle_NP0 ,_PUN who_PNQ used_VVD to_TO0 publish_VVI as_PRP T_NP0 ._SENT Coraghessan_NP0 Boyle_NP0 ,_PUN could_VM0 get_VVI away_AV0 with_PRP that_DT0 ,_PUN but_CJC someone_PNI such_DT0 as_CJS myself_PNX could_VM0 not_XX0 ._SENT Once_AV0 ,_PUN at_PRP a_AT0 literary_AJ0 party_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP overheard_VVD another_DT0 writer_NN1 laughing_VVG at_PRP my_DPS name_NN1 ._SENT She_PNP did_VDD n't_XX0 know_VVI that_CJT I_PNP was_VBD standing_VVG right_AV0 there_AV0 ,_PUN listening_VVG ,_PUN as_CJS she_PNP said_VVD to_PRP someone_PNI else_AV0 ,_PUN "_PUQ Can_VM0 you_PNP believe_VVI anyone_PNI would_VM0 have_VHI a_AT0 name_NN1 like_PRP that_DT0 ?_SENT "_PUQ I_PNP wonder_VVB whether_CJS she_PNP remembers_VVZ that_DT0 moment_NN1 that_CJT I_PNP cannot_VVB forget_VVB ,_PUN and_CJC have_VHB kept_VVN to_PRP myself_PNX for_PRP years_NN2 ._SENT When_CJS my_DPS second_ORD book_NN1 was_VBD published_VVN ,_PUN it_PNP was_VBD reviewed_VVN in_PRP the_AT0 Times_NN2 along_AVP with_PRP a_AT0 couple_NN1 of_PRF other_AJ0 books_NN2 under_PRP the_AT0 subheading_AJ0 "_PUQ International_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ My_DPS book_NN1 was_VBD not_XX0 international_AJ0 ._SENT It_PNP was_VBD a_AT0 novel_NN1 set_VVN in_PRP the_AT0 American_AJ0 Midwest_NN1 ,_PUN released_VVN by_PRP a_AT0 big_AJ0 American_AJ0 publisher_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 most_AV0 international-seeming_AJ0 thing_NN1 about_PRP the_AT0 book_NN1 was_VBD the_AT0 author_NN1 's_POS name_NN1 :_PUN Bich_NN1 Minh_NP0 Nguyen_NP0 ._SENT 
Nguyen_NP0 ,_PUN because_CJS it_PNP 's_VBZ the_AT0 most_AV0 common_AJ0 Vietnamese_AJ0 surname_NN1 ,_PUN has_VHZ gone_VVN from_PRP suspiciously_AV0 foreign_AJ0 and_CJC unpronounceable_AJ0 to_PRP acceptably_AV0 different_AJ0 and_CJC only_AV0 somewhat_AV0 unpronounceable_AJ0 in_PRP America_NP0 ._SENT Bich_NN1 is_VBZ still_AV0 waiting_VVG for_PRP this_DT0 turn_NN1 ._SENT Is_VBZ changing_VVG it_PNP now_AV0 strategic_AJ0 ,_PUN safe_AJ0 ,_PUN self-care_AJ0 ,_PUN selling_VVG out_AVP ?_SENT I_PNP 've_VHB been_VBN trying_VVG to_TO0 figure_VVI this_DT0 out_AVP ,_PUN trying_VVG to_TO0 write_VVI this_DT0 down_AVP ,_PUN for_PRP years_NN2 ._SENT What_DTQ I_PNP know_VVB is_VBZ that_CJT being_NN1 Bich_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC growing_VVG up_AVP as_PRP Bich_NN1 in_PRP a_AT0 mostly_AV0 white_AJ0 town_NN1 in_PRP the_AT0 eighties_CRD ,_PUN has_VHZ felt_VVN like_PRP a_AT0 test_NN1 that_CJT I_PNP was_VBD constantly_AV0 failing_VVG ._SENT It_PNP was_VBD a_AT0 double_AJ0 bind_NN1 :_PUN the_AT0 people_NN0 who_PNQ made_VVD me_PNP uncomfortable_AJ0 with_PRP my_DPS given_AJ0 name_NN1 also_AV0 thought_VVD that_CJT I_PNP 'd_VM0 be_VBI betraying_VVG my_DPS heritage_NN1 by_PRP changing_VVG it_PNP ._SENT What_DTQ I_PNP have_VHB always_AV0 wanted_VVN is_VBZ impossible_AJ0 :_PUN to_TO0 be_VBI nameless_AJ0 ,_PUN free_AJ0 from_PRP the_AT0 gaze_NN1 ._SENT 
I_PNP had_VHD always_AV0 given_VVN fake_AJ0 names_NN2 at_PRP restaurants_NN2 ,_PUN often_AV0 going_VVG with_PRP Rose_NP0 ,_PUN Sophia_NP0 ,_PUN or_CJC Beatrice_NP0 ._SENT One_CRD day_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 few_DT0 years_NN2 ago_AV0 ,_PUN at_PRP the_AT0 Shake_NN1 Shack_NN1 in_PRP Madison_NP0 Square_NP0 Park_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 woman_NN1 behind_PRP the_AT0 counter_NN1 took_VVD my_DPS order_NN1 and_CJC asked_VVD the_AT0 dreaded_AJ0 question_NN1 of_PRF my_DPS name_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC I_PNP said_VVD ,_PUN "_PUQ Beth_NP0 ._SENT "_PUQ She_PNP nodded_VVD ._SENT She_PNP did_VDD not_XX0 doubt_VVI my_DPS answer_NN1 ._SENT And_CJC ,_PUN in_PRP that_DT0 moment_NN1 ,_PUN it_PNP felt_VVD real_AJ0 :_PUN I_PNP was_VBD n't_XX0 just_AV0 saying_VVG Beth_NP0 —_PUN I_PNP was_VBD Beth_NP0 ._SENT So_AV0 I_PNP started_VVD to_TO0 say_VVI it_PNP more_AV0 ._SENT To_PRP salespeople_NN2 ._SENT To_PRP babysitters_NN2 ,_PUN electricians_NN2 ,_PUN new_AJ0 acquaintances_NN2 ,_PUN new_AJ0 colleagues_NN2 ._SENT I_PNP 'd_VM0 say_VVI Beth_NP0 ,_PUN and_CJC a_AT0 tiny_AJ0 blast_NN1 of_PRF joy_NN1 ,_PUN like_PRP cool_AJ0 air_NN1 from_PRP the_AT0 refrigerator_NN1 on_PRP a_AT0 hot_AJ0 day_NN1 ,_PUN would_VM0 come_VVI over_PRP me_PNP ._SENT Like_PRP a_AT0 secret_AJ0 self_NN1 ._SENT Like_PRP another_DT0 life_NN1 ._SENT 
Beth_NP0 is_VBZ a_AT0 social_AJ0 experiment_NN1 ,_PUN a_AT0 hypothesis_NN1 that_CJT life_NN1 in_PRP America_NP0 is_VBZ easier_AJC with_PRP a_AT0 name_NN1 that_CJT no_AT0 one_PNI ever_AV0 gets_VVZ wrong_AJ0 ._SENT And_CJC it_PNP 's_VBZ true_AJ0 ._SENT I_PNP am_VBB seen_VVN as_PRP less_AV0 Asian_AJ0 and_CJC more_AV0 American_AJ0 with_PRP the_AT0 name_NN1 Beth_NP0 ._SENT Experiencing_VVG that_DT0 difference_NN1 ,_PUN glimpsing_VVG a_AT0 bit_NN1 of_PRF that_DT0 yellow_AJ0 peril_NN1 ,_PUN has_VHZ been_VBN insightful_AJ0 and_CJC painful_AJ0 ._SENT As_PRP Bich_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP am_VBB a_AT0 foreigner_NN1 who_PNQ makes_VVZ people_NN0 uncomfortable_AJ0 ._SENT As_CJS Beth_NP0 ,_PUN I_PNP am_VBB never_AV0 complimented_VVN on_PRP my_DPS English_NN1 ._SENT 
My_DPS closest_AJS friends_NN2 accepted_VVD this_DT0 name_NN1 automatically_AV0 ._SENT Others_NN2 expressed_VVD surprise_NN1 and_CJC disapproval_NN1 ._SENT Some_DT0 informed_VVD me_PNP that_CJT they_PNP will_VM0 continue_VVI to_TO0 call_VVI me_PNP by_PRP my_DPS given_AJ0 name_NN1 ,_PUN no_AT0 matter_NN1 what_DTQ ._SENT I_PNP sort_VVB of_PRF understand_VVB this_DT0 ._SENT But_CJC ,_PUN if_CJS you_PNP refuse_VVB to_TO0 accept_VVI someone_PNI 's_POS chosen_AJ0 name_NN1 ,_PUN are_VBB n't_XX0 you_PNP refusing_VVG to_TO0 accept_VVI who_PNQ they_PNP are_VBB or_CJC what_DTQ they_PNP have_VHB decided_VVN for_PRP themselves_PNX ?_SENT I_PNP am_VBB not_XX0 Beth_NP0 to_TO0 make_VVI life_NN1 easier_AJC for_CJS everyone_PNI else_AV0 ;_PUN I_PNP am_VBB Beth_NP0 to_TO0 make_VVI life_NN1 easier_AJC for_PRP me_PNP ._SENT 
Still_AV0 ,_PUN because_CJS I_PNP have_VHB n't_XX0 gone_VVN to_PRP the_AT0 trouble_NN1 of_PRF legally_AV0 changing_VVG my_DPS name_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP remain_VVB Bich_NN1 on_PRP all_DT0 my_DPS documents_NN2 ._SENT Once_AV0 ,_PUN at_PRP a_AT0 store_NN1 with_PRP one_CRD of_PRF my_DPS kids_NN2 ,_PUN I_PNP had_VHD to_TO0 show_VVI my_DPS driver_NN1 's_POS license_NN1 ._SENT The_AT0 woman_NN1 behind_PRP the_AT0 counter_NN1 started_VVD laughing_VVG ._SENT "_PUQ Is_VBZ that_CJT really_AV0 your_DPS name_NN1 ?_SENT "_PUQ she_PNP asked_VVD ._SENT I_PNP think_VVB that_CJT a_AT0 former_DT0 self_NN1 would_VM0 have_VHI gone_VVN along_AVP with_PRP the_AT0 laughter_NN1 to_TO0 avoid_VVI discomfort_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP am_VBB so_AV0 used_VVN to_PRP apologizing_VVG ,_PUN saying_VVG ,_PUN "_PUQ Yeah_ITJ ,_PUN it_PNP is_VBZ a_AT0 difficult_AJ0 name_NN1 ._SENT "_PUQ But_CJC my_DPS child_NN1 was_VBD with_PRP me_PNP ,_PUN so_CJS I_PNP stared_VVD back_AVP at_PRP the_AT0 woman_NN1 until_CJS she_PNP was_VBD the_AT0 one_PNI who_PNQ was_VBD uncomfortable_AJ0 ._SENT As_CJS we_PNP left_VVD ,_PUN my_DPS kid_NN1 said_VVD to_PRP me_PNP ,_PUN "_PUQ That_DT0 lady_NN1 was_VBD making_VVG fun_NN1 of_PRF your_DPS name_NN1 ._SENT That_DT0 was_VBD mean_AJ0 ._SENT "_PUQ It_PNP was_VBD the_AT0 first_ORD time_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP think_VVB ,_PUN he_PNP had_VHD experienced_VVN this_DT0 ._SENT He_PNP and_CJC his_DPS brother_NN1 have_VHB simple_AJ0 ,_PUN straightforward_AJ0 names_NN2 that_CJT ,_PUN in_PRP America_NP0 ,_PUN no_AT0 one_PNI ever_AV0 questions_VVZ ._SENT 
Lately_AV0 ,_PUN they_PNP have_VHB been_VBN learning_VVG about_PRP ancient_AJ0 languages_NN2 ._SENT They_PNP are_VBB trying_VVG to_TO0 understand_VVI how_AVQ words_NN2 and_CJC sounds_NN2 evolve_VVB ._SENT How_AVQ ,_PUN sometimes_AV0 ,_PUN a_AT0 word_NN1 —_PUN for_PRP example_NN1 ,_PUN cleave_VVB —_PUN becomes_VVZ its_DPS own_DT0 opposite_NN1 ,_PUN both_DT0 definitions_NN2 retaining_VVG meaning_NN1 ._SENT I_PNP think_VVB that_CJT they_PNP are_VBB trying_VVG to_TO0 understand_VVI the_AT0 loss_NN1 of_PRF a_AT0 language_NN1 as_CJS it_PNP turns_VVZ into_PRP something_PNI else_AV0 :_PUN Is_VBZ it_PNP always_AV0 a_AT0 loss_NN1 ?_SENT Or_CJC does_VDZ it_PNP always_AV0 feel_VVB that_DT0 way_NN1 ?_SENT Did_VDD people_NN0 know_VVB that_CJT their_DPS language_NN1 was_VBD changing_VVG from_PRP ancient_AJ0 to_PRP modern_AJ0 ?_SENT I_PNP tell_VVB them_PNP that_CJT sometimes_AV0 the_AT0 shifts_NN2 are_VBB so_AV0 slow_AJ0 that_CJT they_PNP 're_VBB recognized_VVN only_AV0 a_AT0 tiny_AJ0 bit_NN1 at_PRP a_AT0 time_NN1 ._SENT That_DT0 language_NN1 changes_NN2 all_DT0 around_PRP us_PNP ,_PUN and_CJC we_PNP are_VBB part_NN1 of_PRF that_DT0 ._SENT Like_PRP slang_NN1 ,_PUN like_PRP idioms_NN2 ,_PUN new_AJ0 words_NN2 ,_PUN new_AJ0 pronunciations_NN2 ._SENT Words_NN2 do_VDB n't_XX0 shift_VVI on_PRP their_DPS own_DT0 ._SENT We_PNP must_VM0 do_VDI the_AT0 shifting_NN1 ._SENT Sometimes_AV0 we_PNP ,_PUN too_AV0 ,_PUN are_VBB our_DPS own_DT0 opposites_NN2 ._SENT 
Right_AV0 now_AV0 ,_PUN Beth_NP0 is_VBZ where_AVQ I_PNP have_VHB shifted_VVN ._SENT It_PNP is_VBZ comfortable_AJ0 because_CJS it_PNP 's_VBZ neutral_AJ0 ,_PUN unremarkable_AJ0 ._SENT It_PNP does_VDZ n't_XX0 change_VVI my_DPS past_NN1 ,_PUN my_DPS family_NN1 ,_PUN our_DPS lives_NN2 as_PRP refugees_NN2 in_PRP the_AT0 United_NP0 States_NP0 ._SENT It_PNP may_VM0 not_XX0 be_VBI forever_AV0 ._SENT It_PNP just_AV0 feels_VVZ like_PRP a_AT0 bit_NN1 of_PRF space_NN1 ,_PUN where_CJS I_PNP can_VM0 direct_VVI how_AVQ I_PNP am_VBB seen_VVN rather_AV0 than_CJS be_VBI directed_VVN ._SENT I_PNP realize_VVB that_CJT ,_PUN my_DPS whole_AJ0 life_NN1 ,_PUN I_PNP have_VHB been_VBN waiting_VVG for_PRP some_DT0 kind_NN1 of_PRF permission_NN1 —_PUN my_DPS own_DT0 permission_NN1 —_PUN to_TO0 be_VBI this_DT0 person_NN1 ._SENT 
