What_DTQ Thanksgiving_NN1 Dishes_NN2 Mean_VVB 
A_AT0 comprehensive_AJ0 guide_NN1 to_PRP reading_VVG into_PRP the_AT0 dishes_NN2 that_CJT your_DPS family_NN1 and_CJC friends_NN2 bring_VVB to_PRP your_DPS table_NN1 ._SENT 
By_PRP Jake_NP0 Goldwasser_NP0 
November_NP0 24_CRD ,_PUN 2021_CRD 
As_CJS families_NN2 begin_VVB to_TO0 reconvene_VVI for_PRP Thanksgiving_NN1 ,_PUN it_PNP can_VM0 be_VBI hard_AJ0 to_TO0 know_VVI how_AVQ relatives_NN2 are_VBB really_AV0 doing_VDG behind_PRP those_DT0 cheery_AJ0 smiles_NN2 ._SENT Luckily_AV0 ,_PUN the_AT0 food_NN1 says_VVZ it_PNP all_DT0 ._SENT Here_AV0 is_VBZ a_AT0 comprehensive_AJ0 guide_NN1 to_PRP reading_VVG into_PRP the_AT0 dishes_NN2 your_DPS family_NN1 and_CJC friends_NN2 bring_VVB this_DT0 Thanksgiving_NN1 ._SENT 
Turkey_NP0 =_NP0 Egomania_NN1 
What_DTQ Thanksgiving_NN1 Dishes_NN2 Mean_VVB 
It_PNP is_VBZ a_AT0 completely_AV0 bonkers_NN2 idea_NN1 to_TO0 bring_VVI a_AT0 turkey_NN1 to_PRP someone_PNI else_AV0 's_POS Thanksgiving_NN1 ._SENT If_CJS a_AT0 person_NN1 shows_VVZ up_AVP at_PRP your_DPS house_NN1 with_PRP a_AT0 turkey_NN1 ,_PUN it_PNP 's_VBZ pretty_AV0 clear_AJ0 that_CJT they_PNP 're_VBB trying_VVG to_TO0 make_VVI a_AT0 point_NN1 ._SENT They_PNP are_VBB the_AT0 main_AJ0 event_NN1 ._SENT You_PNP are_VBB a_AT0 side_NN1 dish_NN1 ._SENT End_NN1 of_PRF story_NN1 ._SENT 
Mashed_AJ0 Potatoes_NN2 =_VVB Aimless_AJ0 Anger_NN1 
Image_NN1 may_VM0 contain_VVI Human_AJ0 Person_NN1 and_CJC Washing_NN1 
Picture_VVB your_DPS cousin_NN1 with_PRP the_AT0 deranged_AJ0 mien_NN1 of_PRF a_AT0 cold-blooded_AJ0 killer_NN1 ,_PUN wailing_VVG on_PRP those_DT0 russets_NN2 like_CJS they_PNP 're_VBB a_AT0 starchy_AJ0 punching_AJ0 bag_NN1 ._SENT Potato_NN1 mashing_NN1 is_VBZ the_AT0 last_ORD socially_AV0 acceptable_AJ0 outlet_NN1 of_PRF the_AT0 criminally_AV0 insane_AJ0 ._SENT 
Stuffing_NN1 =_NN1 Repression_NN1 
Your_DPS aunt_NN1 arrives_VVZ with_PRP a_AT0 dish_NN1 that_DT0 is_VBZ literally_AV0 meant_VVN to_TO0 be_VBI shoved_VVN inside_PRP another_DT0 dish_NN1 ._SENT Does_VDZ this_DT0 require_VVI further_AJC explanation_NN1 ?_SENT She_PNP 's_VBZ hiding_VVG something_PNI big_AJ0 ,_PUN and_CJC you_PNP 're_VBB never_AV0 going_VVG to_TO0 figure_VVI out_AVP what_DTQ it_PNP is_VBZ ._SENT 
Green_AJ0 Beans_NN2 =_VVB Smug_AJ0 Condescension_NN1 
We_PNP get_VVB it_PNP ._SENT You_PNP 've_VHB gone_VVN paleo_NN1 /_PUN keto_NN1 /_PUN whatever_DTQ and_CJC now_AV0 the_AT0 only_AJ0 thing_NN1 you_PNP 're_VBB allowed_VVN to_TO0 eat_VVI is_VBZ a_AT0 single_AJ0 genus_NN1 of_PRF green_AJ0 vegetables_NN2 ,_PUN boiled_AJ0 ._SENT We_PNP 're_VBB happy_AJ0 for_PRP you_PNP ._SENT But_CJC wine_NN1 and_CJC a_AT0 whole_AJ0 lot_NN1 of_PRF butter_NN1 are_VBB the_AT0 only_AJ0 things_NN2 that_CJT are_VBB going_VVG to_TO0 get_VVI the_AT0 rest_NN1 of_PRF us_PNP through_PRP the_AT0 day_NN1 ._SENT 
Cranberry_NN1 Sauce_NN1 =_NN1 Depression_NN1 
Nothing_PNI says_VVZ "_PUQ I_PNP am_VBB a_AT0 formless_AJ0 puddle_NN1 of_PRF bitterness_NN1 "_PUQ like_PRP an_AT0 actual_AJ0 formless_AJ0 puddle_NN1 of_PRF bitterness_NN1 ,_PUN which_DTQ is_VBZ essentially_AV0 what_DTQ cranberry_NN1 sauce_NN1 is_VBZ ._SENT If_CJS someone_PNI comes_VVZ to_PRP your_DPS festivities_NN2 with_PRP this_DT0 dour_AJ0 condiment_NN1 of_PRF pectin_NN1 ,_PUN they_PNP need_VM0 help_VVI ,_PUN stat_VVB !_SENT And_CJC if_CJS it_PNP 's_VBZ from_PRP a_AT0 can_VM0 ,_PUN you_PNP 're_VBB looking_VVG at_PRP a_AT0 downright_AJ0 emergency_NN1 ._SENT 
Pumpkin_NN1 Pie_NN1 =_NP0 Misguided_AJ0 Nostalgia_NN1 
Ah_ITJ ,_PUN remember_VVB October_NP0 ?_SENT The_AT0 trees_NN2 were_VBD gold_AJ0 and_CJC red_AJ0 and_CJC burnt_AJ0 sienna_NN1 ._SENT You_PNP could_VM0 still_AV0 get_VVI by_PRP with_PRP just_AV0 a_AT0 windbreaker_NN1 ,_PUN and_CJC you_PNP were_VBD n't_XX0 yet_AV0 being_VBG force-fed_AJ0 with_PRP holiday_NN1 cheer_NN1 like_PRP a_AT0 goose_NN1 by_PRP gavage_NN1 ._SENT Well_AV0 ,_PUN I_PNP hate_VVB to_TO0 be_VBI the_AT0 bearer_NN1 of_PRF bad_AJ0 news_NN1 ,_PUN but_CJC Halloween_NN1 is_VBZ over_AVP ,_PUN and_CJC so_AV0 is_VBZ pumpkin_NN1 season_NN1 ._SENT Time_NN1 to_TO0 dump_VVI the_AT0 lattes_NN2 and_CJC load_VVB up_AVP on_PRP —_PUN sigh_NN1 —_PUN gingerbread_NN1 ._SENT 
