But there is another deeper meaning to this temple cleansing, which is more applicable to Abigail’s situation. When Jesus drives out the commercial activity from the Court of the Gentiles, it creates a sacred space for the Gentiles, a place where they too can come to the temple and pray to the true God, as Solomon had hoped and prayed. Isaiah 56, which is quoted by Jesus in the temple cleansing in Mark 11:17, hits the nail on the head:
Let no foreigner who is bound to the LORD say, “The LORD will surely exclude me from his people. …. And foreigners who bind themselves to the LORD to minister to him, to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants, all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it and who hold fast to my covenant—these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations.”
Isaiah 56:3, 6-7
All nations! Yes, God cares for Israel, but he also cares for all nations. He cares for Gentiles, foreigners, the outsiders. Notice that Isaiah 56:3 mentions that the foreigner will feel like they are excluded, distant from God (just like Abigail felt, right?). But God cares for the foreigner and will listen to and answer their prayers and bring them to his holy mountain with joy. None who “bind themselves to the LORD” (Isaiah 56:6) will be excluded. God desires that all feel accepted. No one is distant; no one is beyond the care of God. This is great news, isn’t it?
Just as Jesus saved the Gentiles from a difficult situation in the first century, he does the same today. There are many who feel like they are excluded, outside of God’s care and concern. “Certainly God could not care for little ‘ole me” is their motto. I see this in many students. They have been mistreated by others, or have sinned themselves. As a result, they feel like they are excluded from God’s care.
Now, of course, God cares about sin and cares about holiness. I am not trying to say that God does not care about sin. Sin causes distance from God. And, as we see in Jeremiah 7 and Mark 11, presuming upon God’s grace will lead to judgment. What I am talking about here are those who sin, and they think that this sin results in exclusion and distance from God, even after they repent of that sin and return to God. This is a different situation. Those who repent of their sins must believe the Truth of Scripture that God always forgives when we turn back to him:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
Abigail was sinned against by another woman when that woman moved in on her boyfriend. To her demise, that action then led her to sin as she became bitter and angry. When she finally wanted to repent and return to God, she felt that it was too late; that God was distant and had rejected her forever. Her feelings had taken over what was True: that God forgives and draws near to those who draw near to Him (John 14:21). And the enemy was playing on those feelings and fears through nightmares.
What Abigail needed was a reminder that God accepts her when she returns to him, thanks to the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross. She finally decided to approach God about it in prayer. We talked about praying in a manner very similar to the way that Emily had prayed in the previous chapter. She would visualize in her mind’s eye a comfortable place, invite Jesus into that place, and then talk to him about her issues, asking Jesus if he would forgive her.
After we prayed, as she described her prayer time to me, it was clear that she initially did not feel comfortable approaching the “throne of grace”—her sin and shame immobilized her. She had forgotten the truth about our great high priest and his grace:
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:14-16
Here is what she later wrote that she “saw” as she prayed through this issue of anger, bitterness, and distance from God:
I was sitting on the beach in the sun by myself, except for Jesus, who was standing at the opening of a cave to my right on some rocks. I knew He wanted me to come over to Him, but I was scared to approach him because of who He was and because of who I know I am. Finally, after realizing that he wanted me to come over to Him and that it was with the love of a Father that He wanted to talk to me, I slowly made my way over. When I reached the rocks, he pulled me into a hug, and it felt as if He had been eagerly awaiting my arrival. We walked into the cave together and came out a side opening that led to a cliff.
It was then that I realized I had been carrying a large backpack that was weighing on my shoulders, and making it difficult to walk. I took off the backpack and held on to it. The weight of it stunned me, because I hadn't realized that I was carrying around something that heavy. I confessed everything that I had done wrong and visualized it inside the backpack. I then asked Him if He would take the backpack from me. He said of course He would and took the backpack from me. It was not heavy for Him to carry as it was for me. He put the backpack on His back and walked to the edge of the cliff. He then tossed the backpack out into the ocean. He then took my hands, and I asked Him if He would remember those sins. He said "I will remember them no more."
It is important for me to mention that as she prayed, I did not put this image into her mind. Although some of the elements are similar to Emily’s prayer experience, it is only due to the Spirit’s leading. My only instructions to her before she prayed were: Go to a peaceful place, invite Jesus into that place, and confess your sins to him, asking him to forgive you. Abigail confessed to Jesus (and put into her visual backpack) her bitterness, her anger, and her feelings of abandonment by God. Everything that she “saw” as she prayed was due to the Spirit’s leading: the hug, the weight of the backpack, the tossing of the backpack, and Jesus’ words to Abigail.
Just as Jesus was concerned about those who felt distant from him in the first century, as the foreigner tried to pray at the temple in Jerusalem, he is concerned about Abigail’s feelings of distance from him. He wants to show her that she is accepted and forgiven—that her “weight” is nothing for him. He has gone to the cross to forgive Abigail of all of her sins. All Abigail has to do is go to Jesus and repent of those sins, and they will be forgiven (1 John 1:9). Our sins can be forgiven because Jesus has carried our sins to the cross, as Isaiah prophesied, and through “his wounds we are healed:”
Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53:4-6
Abigail’s prayer experience made a difference in her life. It was not just something that happened, and then she returned back to the same problems the next day. Experiencing the presence, the hug, and the forgiveness of Jesus changed her. A couple of months later she reflected on her prayer time:
I stopped having the nightmares. It seems like every time I dreamt before this, it would be a nightmare, sometimes three or four times a week. I have not had a nightmare since praying.
After giving the relationships I had with those boys over to God, I haven't thought about them much at all. I also have run into a few of the girls that used to affect me so much before, and I actually have had conversations with them, not feeling any negativity towards them at all. I don't feel the weight of guilt and shame on my shoulders like I did before. I do realize what I did was very wrong, but I have stopped beating myself up over it since I prayed. I see that Jesus took that shame and guilt upon his shoulders at the cross (or upon His back as I saw in my prayer), and I no longer have to die for my sin because He already did that on the cross.
She was transformed from a frightened “foreigner,” plagued by guilt and nightmares to a welcomed and forgiven daughter of the King. The good news is that our Lord loves to rescue those who feel the stigma and shame of being an outsider and gives them praise and honor in his glorious presence.  He carried our sins on his back all the way to the cross! He is always pursuing and welcoming so-called “foreigners” in order to transform them into family, as daughters and sons of the King.
Once we understand that we are sons and daughters of the King, fully accepted and forgiven, it changes everything. Notice that it changed Abigail’s feelings towards these boys and the girls that she used to be angry towards. Notice that the nightmares went away. Notice that she began to walk in confidence as a daughter of the King, knowing that He has already taken her sin and shame. She drew near to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:14-16). Why is it that we run from his throne when we have sinned, thinking that we will only find judgment? We need to run to his throne, confess our sins, and allow the King to restore us.
Is there something in your past that causes you to feel that God will not accept you? To make you feel as though you are a foreigner? God built the temple in Jerusalem to physically show all foreigners that there is a place for them—that there is a place for them to pray, that all are welcomed to draw near. God will hear those prayers and respond. Jesus himself makes it even more visible:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
John 3:16-17
When we see Jesus, we see God’s love for us, and the invitation to approach His presence continues to call to us, even in the midst of our guilt and feelings of distance and separation. Jesus makes it clear that we belong.