﻿I am so excited, I have been with The Premier Marketing Firm for just under a year and today, Graham one of the Senior Executives informed Derrek Jacobson and myself that we will be working on an Ad campaign together. This isn't just any account, it's Pacific Coast Wine, one of the largest wineries in Washington State. Not only that, but I love their wine, and, given a choice, I would choose Pacific Coast Wine every time. There is another reason to be excited: I get to work with Derrek Jacobson. The man is so hot and so sweet; I have had a massive crush on him since I started at the firm.
On my way to the conference room to meet with Derrek for our first brainstorming session, I hear him talking to Jeff, one of the Account Managers. They have been friends since college.
"Dude, I told you that you would do well here."
"I know, it's crazy that it happened so fast," Derrek replies in that sexy voice of his.
"Right? And you will be working with Autumn, she's really cool."
I freeze when I hear my name, smiling at Jeff's comment.
"Yeah, she is," and I feel warmth start to spread through my body, "too bad she's fat, or she'd be perfect."
"Derrek, that's harsh man, that chick is really pretty and really cool."
"I know you're right man, I don't mean to be a dick." My guard drops a notch. "I'd probably go there if I was drunk."
What the fuck did he just say? I breathe in a deep breath and get myself under control. I will not cry, I tell myself, I will not cry. Overhearing his dickish comments did do one thing for me. That crush I had? Gone. Just like that. A few careless words and he will never be the same to me again. I back up a few steps and make some noise, so they know I'm coming. When I turn the corner I smile at Jeff, more thankful than he will ever know for his kind words.
"Hi Jeff." I say, "Are you ready to get started?" I ask turning toward Derrek, not looking him in the eyes.
He shoots a sheepish look at Jeff. "Yep," he opens the door, "after you."
"Oh my god, Jen, it was humiliating," I tell my best friend over the phone later that night. "Jesus, I can't believe he said that shit."
Jen commiserates. "You know, you could go to HR."
"That's not who I am," I sigh. "I overheard a conversation that I wasn't part of. I'm not going to ruin his career over it. Besides, he's right, I am fat."
"Autumn," Jen scolds me, "you are not fat, you are curvy and beautiful."
I frown at the pint of Ben and Jerry's in my hand, "You haven't seen me since I moved to Seattle. Even my doctor says I need to lose thirty pounds. That's a lot for someone my size."
"Then lose it," she says like it's a piece of cake or something.
I snort. "Easy for you to say, you skinny bitch." She knows I say that with all the love in the world. My best friend is tall, slender and beautiful. "I'm going to go. I love you like ten thousand coconut M'n'M's."
"I love you like ten thousand Oreo cookies," she chuckles. "And Autumn, you are beautiful."
"Sure, sure," I sigh. "Bye."
I go to the kitchen to put my three quarters full pint of ice cream away. When I open the freezer and see all the frozen snacks, instead of putting it away I turn and dump it into the garbage. I pull the rest of the crap out and toss it. Then do the same in the pantry. Shit, now I have no food, I let out a humorless laugh. No wonder I'm fat, all I eat is carbs and sugar. I grab my keys and head to the store for more healthy choices. I am going to lose it. I'm going to start with a healthy diet and taking advantage of my building's gym.
It has been almost three months, and I have successfully lost twenty-five pounds. I feel great, I eat a healthy diet and work out every morning. I've had to buy new clothes, and I will probably have to again before I'm done. My double chin is gone, and my hour and a half figure is just an hour now. Our meeting with Bennett Evans, the owner and operator of Pacific Coast Wine is in a week and a half, I am ready, I've never felt so confident in my life.
Derrek the dick, as I have dubbed him in my head has started to look at me differently. He holds my gaze longer than necessary and sits a little closer than he did before. A few months ago, this would have thrilled me, but now all I can think of is him saying, 'I'd probably go there if I was drunk.' Well fuck him, or, not really.
We have an excellent campaign lined up but it's not quite coming together because we haven't found the hook. Thinking about Derrek's dickhead comment brings me back to that first day and what I was thinking on the way to the conference room, then it hits me. Oh my god, I found the hook.
I hurry to Derrek's office, "I got it!" I exclaim as I burst through the door.
My explosive entrance causes him to jolt, spilling his coffee, "What the hell Autumn."
"Oh, damn I'm sorry." I duck out to the coffee cart and grab some napkins, handing them to him, I apologize again. "I am so sorry Derrek."
He's dabbing at his crotch, and I imagine hot coffee in the lap must have been a bit uncomfortable, I try not to giggle, as I think, Karma strikes again.
He looks up and I school my features, or try too anyway, "It's okay." He narrows his eyes, "Are you trying not to laugh?"
I clear my throat, "No, I'm just excited." "What did you get?"
"What?"
"You said you got it, what did you get?"
"Oh that," picking up where I left off. "The hook, I got the hook."
"Tell me."
"Okay, Okay. 'Pacific Coast Wine, We'd Choose It Every Time.'"
Derrek's brows furrow, as he thinks about it, "Say it again." He closes his eyes.
"Pacific Coast Wine, We'd Choose It Every time."
He nods, grins, and jumps to his feet, "I love it!"
He picks me up spinning me. When he stops the circular motion, I slide down the front of him remembering that I hate this man. When my feet hit the floor, I take a full step back.
"Have dinner with me tonight." It's not a question.
I shake my head, "I don't think so."
"Oh, come on Autumn. We used to have fun, now it's all business. Besides, we need to celebrate, you got the hook."
I want to tell him that if he wasn't such an industrial sized douche, we would still have fun. He's right though it wouldn't hurt to celebrate with dinner and some Pacific Coast Wine. "Okay," I capitulate.
I insist we ask Jeff to go but, unfortunately he can't, so I'm stuck with Derrek the dick. We decide on The Melting Pot because it's close and it's awesome.
As we are walking Derrek slings a companionable arm around my shoulder, I inwardly cringe, but rather than be a petulant child about it, I just let it sit there, its heavy weight oppressive and uncomfortable. After we order, I try to fill the awkward silence with campaign talk.
As we are finishing the last course, Derrek says. "Go out on a real date with me Autumn."
"Uh, no. I don't think so."
"Why not? I think we would have a good time."
I finish my dessert and stand. "Derrek, a few months ago I would have jumped at the chance to go out with you." His eyes widen. "But now I'm going have to say no. Besides, you aren't even drunk."
Before I turn away, I see his mouth drop open and a look of abject horror come over his face. I get all the way to the door before I hear him call my name. Too late. I push through the door and thank god it's down town Seattle and there are cabs everywhere. I grab the first one I see and slide onto the back seat. He bursts out of the restaurant as I'm closing the cab door.
"Autumn, wait." He calls.
I just stick my hand out the window and wave, resisting the urge to flip him off.
The next few days are awkward, and I wish I hadn't let on that I knew about his asshattish remarks to Jeff. I have to tell him repeatedly that I'm not interested in his explanations, and that we are fine.
It's only a couple of days until our meeting with Bennett Evans, and Derrek has finally stopped trying to make amends to me. I'm not sure if he's given up or what. I don't really care; I'm just glad. We get all the details finalized by seven o'clock Wednesday night, which is good since the meeting is tomorrow morning. I expected to be working far later, but I'm pleased I'll get a good night's sleep.
"Want to go get dinner?" Derrek asks hesitantly.
I smile at him to show I'm not just being bitchy. "Not tonight, I want to go home and get a good night's sleep."
"Okay," he sighs. "I should do the same. Goodnight Autumn."
"Goodnight Derrek." I endure his peck on my cheek.
When I get home, I find I'm too edgy to go to bed, so I go downstairs to the gym and get on the treadmill. I try to imagine dating Derrek, when I think about sleeping with him, my stomach flips – and not in a good way. I know I can never date him because every time we were naked together, I would wonder if he thought I looked fat. When I'm good and worn out I trudge to my apartment, shower and slide into bed falling asleep almost immediately.
Derrek and I had decided to ride together to the meeting since the winery's offices are on the outskirts of the city and it just made sense. We meet at the office, pack up and drive to PCW's building arriving a half hour early. We set up in fifteen and are chatting when Bennett Evans walks in five minutes later. I don't hear anything else Derrek says.
Now, I've seen photos of Bennett, and I knew he was nice looking, but let me tell you the pictures did not do him justice. Nice looking? Please… He is smoking hot. He is wearing a black tailored suit and emerald, green tie. As my gaze follows the tie up, the first thing I notice about his face are his eyes. They are a bright green that I have never seen before. I'm not sure if the tie is setting them off or if they are always like that. Then I notice the rest of him, his dark blonde hair is cut short almost military on the sides and back, slightly longer on the top. Those longer locks look as if he has recently run his fingers through it. For some crazy reason, my fingers itch to see if it's as soft as it looks. His chiseled features look like they were carved by the gods to be worshipped by women the world over.